First Line of Duty Fic, actually first fic posted but am working on others. My take on how things could have gone following the S6E5 cliffhanger. Expect lost of angst. Jo has been one of my favourite characters and I think there is so much more of her backstory to explore, hope youse enjoy :)
Jo didn't know if she wanted to cry, scream or be sick. Probably all three. Her whole body was shaking, fuelled by fear, fury and frustration. Panic began to take hold and she stumbled, landing heavily on the damp ground as she scrambled away from Ryan and the gun. "I can't stay to watch this" came a terrified cry. It took Jo a moment to realise the voice was hers. In this moment she wasn't the cool and formidable DCI Davidson, she felt like a frightened little girl, unable to wake from the grips of a nightmare. Her hesitation and the warning shot Ryan fired off in response was enough of a distraction for Kate to draw her gun. Jo didn't even know she had a weapon, but it made sense her policing brain suggested. Kate knew how dangerous Ryan was, so it made sense really, that she'd carry a concealed weapon for protection. But nothing about this situation made sense came the despairing thought, Kate shouldn't be here. She should be safe, far away from all this mess. The nightmare took hold and Jo fought back the tears, her walls crumbling. Kate had trusted her and she'd betrayed her, the nightmare was her reality. She was the reason Kate Flemming might die tonight.
Ryan and Kate in were a standoff, guns drawn each ready and threatening to shoot.
How had she let this happen was all she could think. Again. How had she let it happen again? She'd let herself get too close, started to build a relationship she knew she could never sustain. Any friend or ally she had was just another bargaining chip the OCG could hold over her. So she remained cold and distant, detached from all those who tried to get close. Usually, that got her by, even if it meant she was confined to a life of solitude. Lonely nights were worth not putting anyone else at risk.
Still, her heart had once again taken charge of her head. From the moment DI Kate Flemming had walked into the MIT office, Jo felt drawn towards her. Kate was determined and dedicated, seemingly unfazed by working on one of the largest and most complex operations the force was dealing with. She'd quickly become a key part of the team, continuously working hard, giving her all to the case. Much like Jo, it seemed work was her life, she spent almost as much time in the office as she did. Anything was better than going home to an empty flat, something both women knew all too well. So, late nights working together on the case became a regular occurrence and Jo noticed Kate beginning to drop her guard. With her wry sense of humour and coy smiles, there was a sadness that slipped through the occasional kink in her amour of self-confidence.
Nearly a year ago, she'd stolen Jo's heart. Her pulse quickened and her insides fluttered, warm and fuzzy when she thought of Kate and the lingering glances they'd shared when no one else was looking. Jo could easily have lost herself in those sparkling green eyes, glistening seascapes, bright and beautiful. The sharp features of her face, framed by flawless dark hair, cut short and always perfectly styled. It had been a long time since she'd felt butterflies like that and before she realised it, they were growing closer. Late nights in the office became drinks in a local bar, just the two of them talking about anything and everything. Jo had fallen hard, utterly mesmerized with every aspect of DI Kate Flemming. And for the occasional blissful moment as she gazed into Kate's brilliant emerald eyes, she allowed herself to forget. Forget the coercion and control, the daily torment of never knowing when the next order was going to come or what it was going to be. Jo could forget her traumatic past, the life she'd been born into and the choices she'd been forced to make.
But the moments were fleeting, never enough for true escape. Reality always found a way of bringing her crashing back down. She had sunk so far into the murky depths of OCG control and manipulation that there wasn't any daylight left. That darkness was all consuming. Then, her whole world had turned black when she received the message, the one order she dreaded more than any other, get rid of her. She thought she had done enough, she'd tried so hard to keep Kate out of it. Leading her away from looking into and questioning things that could put her in danger. She'd even started to push her away. As much as it pained her she reverted back to being cold and distant, she was prepared to hurt Kate just so she could keep her safe. But it still wasn't enough, get rid of her. Jo's blood ran cold and that was when she knew she was in too deep. And what was worse, all she could say was that she was sorry. Sorry. The apology felt so empty, meaningless. She'd betrayed the one person who might have been able to help her, the one person she felt like she could trust. She'd given her promise of a resolution and instead lured her to the Lorry Park to die. Maybe it had been ignorant to think she was anything other than bent. A tool of the OCG, a puppet compelled to do their bidding.
She should have run away from it all, as far and fast she could. Maybe then she would have had the chance to come out unscathed, but she didn't have the energy left to manage an escape. One way or another, Jo had a lingering feeling that she was not going to make it out of this situation with her freedom. She'd never be done, there was no escaping the OCG. This would be her last job, one way or another. In an abandoned Lorry Park on the outskirts of the City she'd resigned herself to that fate, after all the hurt she caused it was more than she deserved. And honestly, came the thought, she no longer cared. All instincts of self-preservation had long since been worn away, her entire life had been dictated and controlled by others. She didn't care if she survived the night or if Ryan would claim her as his next victim. The thought of eternal blackness seemed almost comforting, in death at least, there was freedom.
The wind howled, screaming into the dark night and Jo wanted to cry with it. Cowering behind the car, she instead pressed her hands over her ears and screwed her eyes shut. She couldn't witness what was to come next, she didn't have the strength to fight, all she could do was hide. The desperate shouts of Kate and Ryan still penetrated through her barriers. She had to choke back the sobs as they both begged the other to drop their gun.
Jo began to shiver, the cool late-night drizzle had long since soaked through her jacket, leaving an icy chill that bled into her bones. It was all far too much, all she wanted was to crawl into a hole and never come out again. Then came the bangs. Cracking through the wind as if they could split the air in two, reverberating around the run-down Lorry Park, shaking into her core. Jo's ears were ringing, and her heart was in her mouth. Eyes still closed, she couldn't bear to look, not wanting to witness the destruction she may have caused.
She waited for a few drawn out seconds before she made a move, moments hanging heavy in the air. The wind calmed and the carpark fell into an uneasy silence, disturbed only by the quiet patter of the persistent November drizzle.