A/N: So I've hit a major writer's block for my two Frozen stories and instead of writing I've been rewatching binge-style Criminal Minds and this little nugget jumped into my brain. I am hoping that writing this will help me with the writer's block I have for my other stories. I don't really know yet how long this will be or even if it will be a continuous chapter-style novel or more of a series of connected one-shots, so just bear with me. I hope you like this story. I am trying to honor cannon but also explore the unexplored. As always I do not own Criminal Minds nor any of it's characters, Criminal Minds is the property of CBS and ABC (I believe). There is no intent to earn income from my stories, just enjoyment. Thank you for reading and any constructive criticism and comments are always appreciated.

Blindsided

Exuberant laughter filled the rooms and halls of the modest two-story Federal-style home in Arlington, Virginia. Henry was playfully chasing Michael around the living room and then blowing on the little eighteen-month-old's belly with raspberries. The sight and sound filled Jennifer "JJ" Jareau's heart with pure joy, nothing made her happier than to see her two little boys so carefree and cheerful. They were the light of her life; her everything, the two souls that made life worth living, well them and their father, William LaMontagne Jr.

Will was JJ's hero and her rock. He was three years her senior and would be turning 40 this year. He was a Detective-Lieutenant with the MPD in the homicide division. His job mirrored her own, an FBI profiler with the Behavioral Analysis Unit, so much that they had even worked a few cases together. They had met on one such case, down in New Orleans, who would have guessed that a kismet moment would transpire amidst such depravity. Will understood her, understood the demands of her job, and the horrific scenes she saw daily. Jennifer knew that any other man would likely not have stuck with her through all the trials and tribulations she'd experienced in her personal and professional life. He held her in the wee hours of the morning when the nightmares were too much to bear; when they invaded her mind and ate at her soul; and when Will would come home at dawn, having seen his own horrors and his hands trembled with mental and physical exhaustion she would pull him into her arms and rock him as he released his anguish. Their relationship was one of giving and taking not in equal measure but equal need.

The ring of the doorbell pulled JJ from her reverie and she pushed off the door frame of the living room where the boys played and made her way to her front door. She was home alone, it was a rare day off from work, the BAU had just wrapped up a particularly tough case, and they'd all been given a week off to re-energize. William was currently on assignment, the time off from the BAU had been fortuitous, as William's new case was extremely demanding and had called for continuous surveillance. "Henry I am getting the door, be mindful of the coffee table as you two run," she called out to her eldest.

"Okay, Mom" came the eight-year-old's reply.

JJ pulled open the door and her stomach immediately dropped, standing on her front door was William's partner George Harland, a tall man about 6'1" with broad shoulders and jet black hair. He'd been William's partner for five years, ever since Will's former partner was shot in the head during a bank robbery; which led to Will being shot, strapped to a bomb, and Henry being held hostage by one of the bank robbers in their own home. Beside George was William's boss the Captain of the Homicide Division, Lauren Cartwright, she was an older woman in her late 50's with graying brown hair, she was just an inch or so taller than Jennifer's 5'7" but was a big-boned woman and held a commanding presence.

Jennifer swallowed the lump in her throat; "Captain Cartwright, George, can I help you?" JJ asked evenly, maybe they weren't here for what her brain was telling her. They couldn't be here for that her heart screamed.

"JJ can we come in?" George asked calmly. Jennifer nodded and took a step back allowing the door to open completely, the two MDP officers stepped inside. The boys were still playing in the living room so JJ led them to the dining room instead. "Do you want anything to drink?" She heard herself saying as they came to a stop. How many times had she been asked that by a victim's family when she'd come to talk to them or inform them of their loved one's death. This wasn't that, her heart told her brain again, it couldn't be. Will was fine, he had to be.

"No thank you Ms. Jareau" The Captain responded professionally. Jennifer didn't know the Captain well, had only seen her at a few MPD functions, and spoke with her once or twice during a case the BAU that been brought in on.

"I'll pass JJ. Could you sit down?" George motioned to a chair at the table. JJ's heart began to race, fear began to grow.

"No." She wouldn't; if she did this would all be real, and it couldn't be.

George stepped to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, Jennifer shrugged it off, taking a step back. George looked hurt but JJ ignored it, she couldn't think of his feelings right now.

"JJ, please." He begged. JJ shook her head vigorously as she stepped around the chair placing it between herself and the two officers, a barrier between her and the truth.

"No, I've been where you are, I know this routine. Tell me, George, tell me my mind is playing tricks on me, that you aren't here for the reason I believe you are." Her voice was tight and desperate.

George looked at her and then to the Captain, his voice forsaking him at that moment. "Ms. Jareau we regret to inform you that your husband Detective-Lieutenant William LaMontagne Jr. was killed in the line of duty today."

The words from the Captain raced from her mouth and stabbed JJ in her heart and at that moment Jennifer Jareau's world crumbled.

JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

The buzzing of his phone vibrating came from across the room on his side table. Looking up from the 18th-century novel he'd been reading Spencer raised a confused eyebrow. The BAU had been under strict orders to not even look at another case for a week, so there was no way that was Emily calling them back into the office. He had just spoken with his mother an hour ago so it wasn't likely to be her. There were very few people who would just up and call him so curiosity got the best of him and he placed his book down before picking up the phone. JJ was on the caller ID.

"JJ what's up?" Spencer greeted generally surprised by the call yet happy as well. JJ was by and far his best friend, though Penelope was a close second. He secretly hoped she was inviting him to dinner like she often did especially when they had extended time off. Spending quality time with his best friend's family was a special time for Spencer and he cherished every moment he got.

"Uncle Spence." Henry's tiny voice answered.

"Henry, what's wrong buddy? Where's your mom or dad?" Spencer tried to remain calm, it was unheard of for Henry to call Spencer on his own, and coupled with the young boy's uncertain tone gave Spencer a bad feeling.

"Uncle Spencer, can you come over? Uncle George is here and another officer and mom is crying on the floor. I don't know where dad is." Before Spencer could answer he heard a male voice in the background.

"Henry, who did you call; nevermind, here give me the phone, and then can you go play with Michael? Thanks, bud." There was a pause and then the man was addressing Spencer, "Who is this?"

"It's Spencer, is this George?"

"Oh, man Spencer, good to hear you. Henry's right you need to come over asap, call the whole family, and get them here." George sounded panicked as he spoke quickly into the phone. Spencer had met George a few times, whenever the Jareau-LaMontagne crew hosted a get-together George and his life partner Jerry were always invited.

"George I don't understand, what's going on?" Spencer asked as he moved toward the door and grabbed his keys.

"Will's been killed." The answer was logical and predictable considering Henry said JJ was crying on the floor and that George was telling him to get to the LaMontagne house as soon as possible; yet, at the same time, it was completely shocking and unexpected because this scenario didn't seem possible. Will and JJ were meant to grow old together to beat the odds of not only modern-day marriage statistics but the fatality of their prospective occupations. Everyone knew it, that Will and JJ had been fated, their story written in the stars, an enduring love that would prevail over every and any obstacle.

"What?" Spence responded in disbelief, his genius mind unable to comprehend this new reality.

"Dude, I know, but it's true. He was shot during an attempted arrest of a murder suspect. It was an ambush, they were waiting for us. I'll fill you in more later just get here as soon as you can. JJ is a mess, I've never seen her like this before and I don't know what to do for her or the kids. My Captain is here distracting the boys but I need help, JJ needs help."

"I'm on my way." Spencer hung up and jumped into his car. As soon as the Bluetooth connected he dialed one of the 7 numbers he knew by heart, not because of his eidetic memory but because he cared to truly know these numbers, the numbers of the family he'd made.

"Spencer is everything alright?" Emily Prentiss asked. While Spencer often called JJ and Penelope he rarely called Emily out of the blue on a day off unless there was already a standing plan to get together.

"Will's been killed, we need to get to JJ's" There was a pregnant pause before Emily's voice came from the car speakers again.

"Spencer, please tell me that is just a really bad joke." There was disbelief in her voice, a denial that Ried understood as he was still feeling the same way.

"Emily," was all he said, letting her know with that single word all that needed to be conveyed; that one of their friends was dead. That the woman who was the foundation of their unit, of their family, even if she didn't know or believe it, had lost the love of her life; that two gorgeous little boys born of the truest love, were now fatherless in this terrifying and ruthless world.

Emily's watery reply came a moment later, "I'll call the team; we'll meet you there."

"Thanks, Em."

Spencer was at his best friend's home in ten minutes. When he knocked on the door George answered, "Where is she?" he asked after he embraced George. George nodded to the living room, "I managed to get her to move from the dining room to the living room and she's calmed down a bit, I think she is still in denial though."

Spencer acknowledged George's words and moved towards the living room. Spencer had given notice to countless families over the years and it never got easier, he'd seen every type of reaction imaginable from straight-out denial to complete apathy. His eyes landed on JJ as he entered the living room, she was sitting on the cream-colored couch, her head in her hands, her body shaking with grief. She must have heard him approach because she suddenly looked up, the utter devastation on her refined features was heart-shattering for Spencer.

"Spence," she choked out, a violent sob wracking her body. Spencer quickly slid next to her and pulled her into him. She turned into him and grabbed his shirt burying herself into his chest. Spencer pulled her closer, rubbing her back and kissing the top of her head, he didn't know what to say so he didn't, it was better to just be with her at that moment.

A few minutes later Spencer felt her pull away from him and he looked into her watery blue eyes. They were red raw with pain, the anguish her soul felt evident through the two portals. "He's gone,' she croaked.

"I know. What can I do for you?" He gave her a small smile trying to be strong and comforting to her.

She looked away a moment her eyes falling on the family portrait on the wall across from the couch. "I don't know." She sounded so small in that instant admitting that she didn't know what to do.

"I can call your mom for you and then have her call Will's brother." Spencer offered.

JJ nodded, "Yes that; that would be good." She looked around the room as if she was finally taking everything in. "Where are the boys?"

"In the back with George." Spencer indicated behind them towards where the small yard lay. JJ took a deep breath and rubbed her face with her hands, trying to erase the sorrowful tears from her face. "What do I tell them? How do I tell them their daddy isn't coming back?"

Spencer's chest twisted at the question and he felt nauseous. He didn't have an answer for his best friend. He was a genius, having read thousands of books in his lifetime, and yet he had no answer for her, no sage advice, no guide for how to tell Henry and Michael that Will was gone.

Spencer shrugged, "I don't know," he felt so useless. "Maybe it's less about the words you use and more about your actions. Be strong for them, be calm, and love them."

The front door opening drew their attention and a second later Emily appeared with Penelope and Rossi behind her. "JJ" was all Emily said before she was over to her long-time friend pulling the younger woman into her arms and hugging her tightly. Spencer watched as Penelope joined the hug, the three women who had been through so much together taking comfort in each other's embrace. Rossi came to stand next to Spencer.

"Tara and Luke are on their way, and I've called Morgan," Rossi said as he watched the women. The older man sighed as his eyes landed on the petite blonde. "How is she?" Spencer grimaced, "Not good, she's a mess. She was just asking me how she's supposed to tell Henry and Michael."

Rossi shook his head, "Never an easy conversation." When he noticed the group of women separate he walked over to JJ and pulled her in an embrace. Spencer always thanked whatever power that be for Dave Rossi. He was a friend to all of them but when the occasion demanded it he was like a second father to many of the team members but particularly himself and JJ. Jennifer's parents had divorced not longer after Rosaline, Jennifer's older sister had died. JJ was twelve at the time, he later died from a year-long battle with prostate cancer when JJ was 15. Rossi was a strong stable father figure in JJ and Spencer's lives since their late twenties.

"I don't know how to do this." Spencer heard Jennifer whispering to Dave, the tremble in her voice an indication that she was losing her composure. Spencer watched as David tilted JJ's face up in a fatherly way using a single finger and then caressed her cheek lovingly, "You are one of the strongest people I have ever had the honor of knowing, you are an incredible mother. I have every faith in you and if you wish I will be there with you to tell them." JJ bit her lip and nodded, "Please." Dave leaned down and kissed her forehead, "Of course."

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Jennifer stopped at the sliding glass door to watch her sons playing in the backyard. Captain Cartwright was kicking the soccer ball around with the two, it was rather sweet to see. Her heart squeezed as he heard Michael squeal out in delight as he "scored" against the older woman. Micahel was so young; blissfully unaware of what was transpiring around him. The same however could not be said for Henry, who despite his best efforts was not enjoying the soccer match as much as his little brother. JJ could see the frown on his lips and the concern in the corner of his eyes and as his baby blues looked towards her see was destroyed by the fear within them. He stopped in the middle of the yard and looked at her. The pressure of Dave's hand on her shoulder acted as an anchor and she centered herself with a deep breath. She slowly walked towards the table on the patio and beckoned Henry towards her, he came running. Captain Cartwright scooped up Michael and brought the toddler over. Dave accepted him with a nod and then the officer was gone. Dave sat beside JJ with Michael on his lap. Henry had taken up residence between Jennifer's legs, half sitting on her left leg so he could see her and Dave.

JJ reached up and pushed Henry's blonde hair from his face; he was her little male carbon copy from hair color to eye color and face shape, but his personality was all his father. He was a stoically gentle little boy with a caring soul and an endless well of empathy for others. He was a sensitive child yet when it came to his family he could be fierce in his protection of those he loved.

JJ gave him a small smile, trying to reassure him that she was okay, though nothing could be further from the truth. "Mom, what's wrong? Where's dad?"

Straight to the point, just like his father. Jennifer closed her eyes briefly before pulling her son closer to her. She was telling both of her boys about their daddy, but it was unlikely that Michael would understand, this conversation was mainly for Henry.

"Henry, Michael, Daddy was hurt at work today." She started out, not wanting to just state that their father was dead.

"Was he shot?" Henry asked cautiously.

JJ nodded, "Yes, baby. The paramedics tried to help him, but it was too late. Henry, Daddy died." Jennifer held her breath as the information washed over her eldest. She could see the denial at first as he opened his mouth and then close, then sadness started as tears began to fall, "He was killed."

Another nodded from her was all she could manage as her heart stuck in her throat. Anger mixed with renewed denial came next just as quickly. "No, he isn't, you're, you're lying." He yelled. This caused Michale to start to fuss in Dave's arms. "Dadda" he whined as Henry pushed away from JJ.

"I'm so sorry, baby." JJ started by Henry backed away.

"No!" He yelled and ran off into the house. JJ was rooted to her spot for a moment, her mind unable to comprehend what had happened nor what should she do next. Then she heard Michael crying, calling for Will. She knows he didn't understand that his daddy was dead, but he did know that Henry was upset and that they were talking about Will.

Jennifer felt her heart being ripped in two, both of her sons needed her at that moment. Whenever they'd both needed her in the past Will would step in and help one of the boys while JJ went to the other, but Will was gone. There was no one to help her anymore, she was alone. This would be the first of many decisions to come where she would have to make the final decision alone.

She turned to Dave, "Could you take Michael to Emily or Penelope, they are pretty good at calming him down with cuddles."

"Of course," Rossi replied while rocking the youngest LaMontagne in his grandfatherly arms. JJ smiled her thanks and then ran after Henry. Spence was making his way up the stairs as she began taking them two by two.

"I can talk to him." He offered kindly.

"Thank you but not right now, I need to. I am sure he will need you later though." Spencer stepped aside to let her pass. "Of course anything for you, for them."

Jennifer was at Henry's door an instant later. The door was shut. She knocked. No answer. "Henry, please let me in."

"Go away!" His little voice was broken, his private tears evident.

"Henry, please, we need to talk."

"No!"

JJ wanted to break down in tears at that moment to curl up on the hallway floor and never move again but she couldn't because her child needed her to be strong. She slid down instead across from the door and just started to talk.

"I know it's not fair Henry, I know you're feeling lost and alone right now. I know you're feeling hurt and angry, and that is okay. I'm feeling the same way, it doesn't feel like this is really happening, but it is Henry. Your daddy is dead." She felt no reason to spare him the cold-hearted truth. He was only 8 but he was an old soul and smart. He's grown up with two parents in law enforcement and despite her and Will's best efforts sometimes his keen ears heard things that they shouldn't. They had to explain to him at just 6 years old what her job was, in the most G-rated way, and why she left for long periods of time. They had to explain why sometimes Will stayed out all night at times. Why there were two gun safes and two ammo lockboxes in the house. Henry knew that his parents fought the bad guys (the dragons as he called them when he was four) and that it was sometimes a dangerous job.

"He was killed saving another, Henry, one of his friends was shot, and your daddy went to go save him, to pull him to safety. That friend is in the hospital, Henry, the doctors think he will be ok. Your daddy died a hero, saving another life." It was true. George had told her the story. How they'd gone with an arrest warrant when the occupants opened fire upon the four officers. How they all ducked for cover, that Officer Bailey, a first-year cop still on probation, had been shot in the leg. Will seeing the 22-year-old was still in imminent danger had rushed out from his cover and grabbed the boy, pulling him back to cover, they'd almost made it when Will took a bullet to the side between the flacks of his bullet-proof vest. With the last of his strength, Will grabbed Bailey and rolled him to cover. By the time the standoff ended Will had bled out and Bailey was barely breathing. The gunshot wound to the leg had luckily not hit any major arteries so he didn't lose blood nearly as fast as Will had. Bailey was in ICU but was expected to make a full recovery. Will was laying on a cold steel slab in the coroner's office.

JJ waited a moment or two, but Henry said nothing nor did he emerge from his room. She sighed. "He loved you so much, Henry. You and your brother, you meant everything to him. His proudest moments were when you bother were born. He once told me that his heart grew 10 fold the instant he held you in his arms. That love, it will never go away. He may not be with us any longer but the love he felt for you you, the pride he had in the man you are growing up to be, the happiness we shared as a family, it is all still here. It is in every second of every day because we love him and we always will; his love for you lives on inside of you and your little brother."

The door cracked open slightly, "It will?" Jennifer beckoned Henry over with her hands, he pulled the door open completely then dove into her awaiting embrace. She squeezed tightly and kissed the top of his head. "Always. He may be gone but his love for you is forever, Henry. Our love for him is forever. We will miss him every day but we will also remember what an amazing father and husband he was too."

"Mikey won't remember him." The twisting in JJ's heart tighten and she willed herself not to break down, she took a moment to find the right words.

"He probably won't remember on his own, he's too little to remember, but you and I, we won't let him forget. We will share our memories of your Dad with him and he will know your Dad through those stories and pictures just as you know your Aunt Rosaline through the stories and pictures Grammy and I share with you."

Henry nodded in her chest and she could feel the tears soaking her shirt, she didn't mind; she held her little boy for as long as he needed to let himself feel and grieve. She wasn't sure how long they sat in the hallway but eventually, Penelope appeared with a fussing Michael. JJ opened her arms and her baby boy ran into her arms. She hugged her children with all her strength and made a promise to Will that she would do everything in her power to keep their children safe and make sure they grew up happy and knew Will's love for them.