A/N: Hey everyone! I'm super excited to get this story out. This story takes place about 7 years after my other story I Get High with a Little Help from My Friends. So, If you're confused about anything, you'll likely find the answers in the two one-shots I published earlier this month. If you like it or have criticism, please leave a review, or favorite or pm me. I plan to put the date of the next update for every chapter on my profile. So, keep an eye out there. Cheers!

10 June 2007

Jerry Smith had grown up to be a schmoozer. He tended to think that he was being suave and cool, but in reality, most people with sense thought he was a smarmy pretentious prick. Still, he had a good sense for opportunity as he climbed the corporate sales ladder the last few years. Now, he was about to have the opportunity of a lifetime. The only thing standing in his way was a stupid golf tournament, which is why he'd come to Swan Lake Golf club on a Sunday. He desperately needed to take at least two strokes off of his swing. If he was going to get a meeting with executives to pitch his new marketing strategy, he needed to be a damn good golfer. The sun was high in the sky and Jerry was feeling good as he lowered his ball to his tee. He settled into his stance and took a deep breath. He swung his driver and connected with the ball. It was his best hit yet. The ball was on line with the flag and for a second, it looked like he might end up with a hole-in-one. However, like always, Jerry forgot to account for the wind.

"Damnit! Straight into the fuckin pond. What am I doing wrong," he said.

He pulled another golf ball from his pocket and lowered it to the tee. Right as he was settling into his stance, a shadow came over him and ruined his vibe.

"Hey," he said without looking up. "Do you mind? I'm trying to golf here." The shadow didn't move. Jerry sighed and started to puff himself up like they had taught at the assertiveness seminar last year.

"Look. I said I'm—HOLY SHIT!" Jerry screamed. There were three women creatures standing there smiling. They were holding spears and wearing dark yellowish breastplates, which while it was scary, the spears and smiles weren't why he was screaming. He was screaming because from the waist down, they were snakes. Jerry was terrified of snakes.

"Oh. Please, human." The biggest one in the middle said. "Do go on. Tell me exactly what you will do if we do not move." She let out a little hissing laugh. Then the one on the right spoke.

"Or you could go on ssscreaming. I love it when the humanssss ssscream."

"Enough of this!" The left one said. "Give him to me. I am hungry."

"No. This one is mine. You ate the last one." The middle one said.

"Then surely, it is my turn sister?" The right one asked.

"Or maybe you could just let me go?" Jerry said. All three snake women turned to look at him. Jerry was not a smart man.

The middle one picked him up and Jerry started to scream again. Just as her jaw was unhinging, an arrow sank into her forearm from above, forcing her to drop Jerry who immediately started crawling away.

Two Pegasi landed and the snake women turned to see four children wearing ancient Greek armor.

"Demigodsss." The middle one hissed.

"Sup, snake ladies." A large, muscular, and brown-haired boy greeted them. "Who wants to die first?"

"Easy, Mark. We need to play this smart," said a black-haired boy. His sea-green eyes glowed as they locked on to the leader of the snake lady trio.

"SSSEA SSSPAWN!" The right one screamed.

"Well, someone's famous. What, no hello to the rest of us? Dracaena really are the most disrespectful monsters around, aren't they?" A tall gangly boy with dark brown hair and slightly pointed ears grinned at his own joke.

"Now is not the time, Travis," said a ginger girl rolling her eyes.

"Hey, I know you're nervous and all Kayla but you really need to learn to lighten up."

"Enough, guys. Something about this isn't right," the black-haired boy said.

"What do you mean, Percy," Mark said.

"Well for starters. Why aren't they attacking?" Travis, Mark, and Kayla turned to see the dracaena sporting sinister smiles.

"Well, it ssseemsss the sssea ssspawn has a brain after all. We are simply waiting for our weapon to arrive," The middle one said.

"Well, that sucks for you," Percy said drawing a sword. "We've got all the weapons we need. Travis, get the civilian out of here. Kayla, go high and provide covering fire. Mark, you get the two lackeys. I'll provide a distraction and take out the leader. MOVE!"

On Percy's command, the demigods sprang into action. Percy felt a pull in his gut as he raised his foot high and stomped. The ground shook, throwing the dracaena off balance. Travis quickly ran around them and grabbed Jerry who had passed out from shock. Kayla took to the air with the two pegasi and started firing fire cracker arrows at them. Meanwhile, Percy and Mark charged.

"Hey, Perce!" Mark yelled. "I bet I take out my two before your one!"

"Loser cleans the other's cabin for a week?" Percy responded.

"You're on!" Mark said

Mark leveled his javelin at the dracaena on the right and she raised her shield to brace for impact. Kayla shot a sonic arrow and the dracaena lower her shield as her head rang with a high-pitched sound. Instead of throwing the javelin, Mark plunged it in to the ground, pole vaulting over the dracaena. In mid-air, he drew a sword and lopped off her head in one smooth motion, crumbling into golden dust in his wake.

"That's one for me! Clarisse is going to be so happy!"

The lead dracaena swiped Mark with his tail, sending him crashing through a small tree twenty feet away. She then lunged at Percy, who deflected the tip of her spear off of his shield. He then spun and back flipped over a tail swipe from the smaller dracaena. She then started swiping at him with her spear, but Percy hopped from side to side, redirecting her thrusts as he got closer and closer. The leader made to stab Percy in the back but three arrows found their way into her right arm forcing her to drop the spear. The leader spun around and looked up to see the girl with the arrows and slithered in off in her direction, dodging arrows as she went.

Meanwhile, Percy finally got close enough to pull off a maneuver specifically designed to deal with dracaena. When she over reached with her spear, Percy smacked it out of her hands with his shield and feinted a lung to her mid-section. She fell for the feint and attempted another tail swipe to create distance. However, Percy changed his lunge into a powerful downward stab and impaled the dracaena's tail into the ground. Then he jumped up and jammed his shield in her face, knocking her to the ground. Before she had a chance to recover, Percy picked up her spear and stabbed her in the face. He spun around when heard a Pegasus' cry of pain.

Help us milord! The Pegasus cried. Kayla was pinned under a dead Pegasus with a spear sticking out of its head.

"Kayla!" Travis screamed, having just returned to the battle.

"Travis, get her out of here. I'll handle the dracaena."

"Will you sssea ssspawn?" The leader chuckled. "Come then. Come to death."

Percy grabbed his sword and charged, furious with the death of his father's sacred animal. The sky began to darken and the wind picked up. Percy took a running leap and the ground shook as he leapt high in the air coming down in a powerful overhead slash. His sword cleaved through the dracaena's spear as she tried to block. The leader had a split second to look shocked before Percy sliced her in half. Percy then walked over to Kayla and Travis.

"You alright Kayla," Percy asked.

"Yeah. I think my leg is fractured but it should be an easy fix. That was some move."

"Yeah," Percy said, gripping his sword tightly. "I don't like it when my friends get hurt. Not if I could've prevented it." Travis laid a hand on Percy's shoulder.

"Hey. We're all fine. You did a great job man."

"Actually. We're not," Percy said. "Where's Mark?"

"Oh shit. I forgot about him. I know where he is though. Be right back." Travis sped off in to the woods in the direction of where Mark had been thrown. Kayla began whispering a hymn to Apollo as she started rubbing her leg. Percy walked over to the remaining Pegasus who was morning the loss of his brother.

He was brave milord. Will you give him your blessing?

"Of course." Percy knelt hand placed his hands on the Pegasus. "Pixius, you were a fair flier and a better friend. Due to your bravery, we were victorious in battle. May Poseidon grant you fair winds and following seas." Suddenly the dead Pegasus vanished in a mist of ocean spray.

Thank you, milord. What happens now?

"Now we need to head back to camp and report this to the scribes and war council," he said. Percy turned around and saw that Travis had returned with Mark's arm around his shoulder and Mark holding a hand to his head.

"You all right?" Percy asked as he walked over to the now healed Kayla.

"I found him laying next to a tree, knocked out," Travis said. Kayla placed her hands on Mark's head and closed her eyes.

"He's got a serious concussion, but I think he'll be fine," she said. Mark gave a weak grin.

"We children of Ares are pretty tough, you know," Mark said.

"You're also stupid fucking show boats who attack first and think second," Percy said. He smacked Mark on the arm.

"Ow dude. What the fuck?" Mark rubbed his arm.

"Don't be dumb and I won't hit you. Also, I like to leave my dirty socks under my bed."

"Gross, Percy." Kayla said.

"Hey, I get distracted easily and they just disappear."

"Well," Mark said. "This next week is going to suck."

"Uhhh. Guys? I think I know what weapon the dracaenas were waiting on," Travis said pointing at something in the distance.

Off in the distance, past Swan Pond, A giant mechanical bull was charging straight for them, breathing fire as it.

"Um. Is that the fucking Colchis Bull?" Kayla asked.

"You guys get on the Pegasus. Head back to camp. I'm going to take care of this."

"Percy you can't!" Kayla yelled.

"Look. None of you are strong enough to take that thing down and Mark can barely stand. Trust me. I can handle this. And I promise I won't do it alone. I'll call for back up. If I'm not back in an hour then you can worry. Now, stop fucking arguing and go." Travis helped Mark on to the pegasus and once they were all on, Percy turned to the pegasus.

"Fly fast Abe. Don't stop for anything."

I will return for you as fast as I can, milord. Abe took off and Percy turned to the steadily charging bull. He grabbed his sword and the dracaena's spear and then wave his hand to create mist. He pulled out a drachma and tossed it into the mist.

"Oh Iris, goddess of the Rainbow, please accept my offering. Show me, Jason." Percy chanted. An image of Jason appeared with Jason seemingly napping in the shade of a tree.

"Jason!" Percy yelled startling him awake.

"Percy? Dude, what part of 'not on rotation' do you not understand?" Jason rubbed at his eyes as he stood up.

"I know. I'm sorry but I've got a situation. Colchis bull at Swan Lake golf club."

"Oh snap. Really?" The ground began to shake as the bull closed in at fifty feet.

"Yes," Percy said urgently. "It's gaining fast. Get here now. Code spicy water!"

"Alright. Be there soon. Don't die." Percy swiped through the mist just as the bull lowered its horns to gore him.

Percy dove to his right, tucked into a shoulder roll, and sprinted toward the pond before the bull could turn around. He heard it roar, but he didn't dare turn around to see if it was following him. He felt it gain on him and he dove into the pond, narrowly missing being struck in the back by its horn. Percy then started to spin in the water before shooting into the air like a cannon ball. He landed behind the bull and made a grasp and pulling gesture, like deadlifting. He strained as he raised his arms over his head. The bull turned around, and ground its hooves into the dirt as it prepared to charge. Percy made a smashing gesture with his fists and the entire pond came down on the bull, forcing it to the ground. However, all that managed to do was crush the bulls horns into its head and flatten its body a little. So, Percy held his hands out and he began to circle the water the water around the bull holding it in a dome of solidified water. The effort brought him to his knees and he felt blood drip from his nose into his mouth. The tug his gut grew and he closed his eyes as the bull began battering its head against the dome. Percy's arms began to shake when he suddenly smelled ozone and heard the rumble of thunder.

"You're screwed now," Percy said. A massive lightning bolt came down on the water dome just as Percy smacked his hands together. All that was left of the bull was a crumpled bronze husk. Then it crumpled into dust. He fell to his hands and knees and dry heaved. He felt a hand on his shoulder and let out a shaky laugh.

"Took….you… long enough," Percy gasped as he flopped on to his back.

"Again," Jason said. "I'm not on rotation today."

"Fuck… your… rotation," Percy said. Jason laughed and sat down next to him.

"Yeah. You seemed pretty helpless without me, bro."

"Just wait…till I… catch my breath."

"Take your time. It's not like monsters won't be able to smell us."

"Good point," Percy said climbing to his feet.

"Need me to carry you?" Jason asked.

"I'm not falling for that again, you dick."

"For the last time, I did not drop you on purpose."

"Uh huh."

"I swear! A bug flew in my eye!"

"Whatever. My rides here."

Milord! You live!

"Was there ever any doubt?"

I feared you were tired from your previous battle.

"That's fair. But I'm made of pretty tough stuff."

"Hey Abe, how's it going?" Jason said.

I am well Jason.

"He says he's fine. Let's get going. The council needs to hear about this. Things are getting worse," Percy said climbing on to Abe.

"What do you mean?"

"The monsters were wearing armor. And they didn't come here just to eat some random human. This was a coordinated ambush."

"That's… not good."

"Exactly. They starting to band together into an army."

"Alright. Hey! Race you back to camp?"

I believe Lord Percy has earned a good night's rest Jason.

"Thanks, Abe. Glad to see someone cares about my health."

"What did he say?"

"He said that you're a child and that I need some rest."

"I'm the child, but you're the one who needs the nap?"

"I did the most work!" Jason laughed and took off into the air.

"Alright Abe," Percy said. "Take me home."