Hello, Aidean-Nell here! This is my first story from Wattpad. I do plan on coming back and editing it some more, but that will be much later. I have tried my best to make sure there are no spelling or grammar errors, though I may have missed a few things.
I hope you guys enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed creating it!
"It's been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." -Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy
Chapter One:
Naruto heaves a breath, it's slow, painful, and raspy around the edges. The black spots dancing around in his vision aren't all that better, but the familiar feeling of icy water under his hands and knees makes him suck in another puff of air. He shudders and slowly, he tries to raise himself into a stand- he places his hand onto one of his knees and pushes himself up, he tumbles and falls back down into the water. A groan leaves his lips, his fingers curl into fists and then he tries again. His body screams in silent agony, muscles torn apart and blood flowing out thoroughly from vicious wounds and when he wavers, he bites down into his busted lip, and then he falls back into the water. He feels numb. Tired. Utterly defeated and useless.
Naruto's lips quiver, he shuts his blue eyes closed and pounds his fist, hard against the water and then the ground underneath it. It does nothing. It doesn't bring Neji back. It doesn't save Obito. It doesn't stop Madara or that crazy wrench Kaguya from killing thousands of allied shinobi. It doesn't bring back Kurama who should be across Naruto, should be behind those black bars and that damn seal and should be snarking down at him - it does absolutely nothing but makes Naruto hate himself even more.
He cries, and wishes, wishes for anything really - he lays there for what feels like endless hours until the numbness starts to slowly seep out of his system, and when he sniffles back another cry he pounds his fist against the water and the ground once more. "Damn it!" He curses, voice hoarse. The ripples flow away from him and Naruto follows them with half-lidded eyes. "Gomen" He quietly voices to the empty darkness around him. "Kurama... Gomen", He chokes back another sob and instead curls into himself. "I wish" He whispers, too quietly and too softly, "I wish I could have protected you all better," he smiles, bitter and small.
"Damn it," he breathes and grinds his teeth together, the darkness envelopes him painfully slow, and then it swallows him whole, yanks his last breath away and leaves him hanging cold.
Slowly and reluctantly, Naruto uncovers his face. He blinks, closes his eyes, and blinks again. Streaks of sunlight penetrate the window and cast stripes of golden light across his face and his tiny bedroom. He sits up, drags his feet off the bed, and rubs his knuckles onto his eyes. The sound of his clock ringing at his bedside table is all but white noise in the back of his mind - he maneuvers his body mechanically, almost as if on autopilot as if all these actions are done by someone else entirely. He frowns deeply and watches his feet dangle off the side of the bed. Hadn't something... something important just happened? He sits for a while and mulls over his thoughts. A yawn escapes his mouth and Naruto flutters his eyes closed, the stiffness of his muscles begging him to return to bed.
The flash of red hair, long and bright, flowing in the wind plays behind his eyelids and Naruto falls forward onto the floor beneath him and snaps his eyes wide open. His hands clutch at his chest, directly above his heart and he heaves, stutters to inhale a breath, and whimpers. Sakura's bubbly pink hair and her watery smile greet him, she reaches out a hand, the bruises covering her body are many but she envelopes him in a hug. The children around him 'ooh's and 'ahh' and when Naruto looks further along he can see the Villagers and their proud smiles.
He remembers orange hair, pale skin, and black rods, Hinata's cheeks covered in pink dust, Lee in the hospital after the Chunin exams, Sasuke - Naruto breathes and swallows the incoming air, his fingers curl into the material of his pajama top and he forces his eyes to close. Kakashi pat's his head, Iruka beckons him towards the ramen stand, Jiraya laughs at him broadly and Tsunade - Naruto splutters - Tsunade kisses him on the forehead. And when Shikamaru places his hand onto his shoulder and squeezes Naruto lets out a pained yell. It hurts. It really hurts. Gaara stares at him, green-colored eyes warm and bright, he smiles and his mouth moves, words are forming across those pale lips, but Naruto can't hear them, and yet he feels a certain warmth to those unheard words.
The warmth disappears as soon as it appears because he's digging Gaara's mutated body from under the rubble, Sakura's quietly crying behind him and the pain in his chest deepens. Kurama's fur feels soft underneath his fingertips, Kiba swings an arm around his shoulders and Akamaru barks at the both of them happily, Neji pushes him forward with a slap to his back and Ino pulls him forward by the front of his jumpsuit, Choji watches them argue with a small smile. Tenten and Shino walk him back home in comfortable silence.
Naruto stands, quick and swift and wobbly, he ushers himself to the bathroom and empties the contents of his stomach into the toilet. The tears rolling down his cheeks are ignored as he forces his memories away and focuses on steadying his heart and controlling his breathing - he breathes in, slowly and waveringly, and then he breathes out. It hurts. It hurts a lot. His hands press further into the seat of the toilet, a way to steady himself as he counts from one to twenty out loud. Once he stops, he slumps sideways against the cold tiled walls of the bathroom and lets the numbness consume him. Naruto doesn't know for how long he sits there, but when he returns to his bedroom, streaks of orange and purple are cast onto his bed and his room and the sun is setting. Oddly enough, his clock is still ringing. He numbly shuts it off. It feels weird to even be back in his apartment, let alone to even be alive. He shuffles forward, bare feet guiding him towards the cracked body-length mirror stuffed in the corner of the room opposite his bed and wardrobe.
He stops in front of it and stands stiff. He's twelve again. At least, he thinks he is. He's short, and scrawny, and mainly battered from the bruises gliding across his skin and the plaster placed over his nose but it's him. Definitely. Even the many cracks in the old mirror can't hide that away from him. He blinks, moving closer to the cracked mirror. Naruto's mouth falls open, hands flying to his blonde hair. He has ears. Extra ears. Long, pointy ears the same shade of yellow as his hair, the tips a bright red, maybe even a dark burnt orange. They look like fox ears. They're terribly soft. Something flicks behind him. A tail. A fucking tail. Panic returns to Naruto's system. His nose scrunches up and the corners of his blue eyes tear up - he can't, he can't cry. He just can't. He scrubs his tears away with his hands, nails digging into the skin across his cheeks, small droplets of blood flowing across soft skin, breath heaving, heart hammering-
"Naruto," Kurama's voice pierces his mind. "Calm yourself."
Naruto flinches, hands falling to his sides, blue eyes wide and wet. "Kurama," He says, voice barely above a whisper. He screws his eyes shut tight and enters their shared mindscape.
There's cold water at his ankles, dim lighting around him but that's nothing new, and the cage is right opposite him, the original seal covering the black bars. Naruto feels his stomach drop. Was...Has Kurama been locked in again?
Treading carefully across the ankle-length water, Naruto holds his breath, blue eyes shifting around him every few seconds as if expecting some other ninja to just drop in-
"Kit," Kurama calls, voice gruff. He sounds tired, weak. Naruto stops at the black bars, he shudders as he skims his fingers against them. He can't see Kurama behind them, the beast is shrouded in the shadows, lost somewhere in there. Naruto frowns deeply.
"Kurama?" Naruto softly calls into the darkness.
"I'm sorry," Kurama's voice is low, too soft, too different from what Naruto's usually used to.
Swallowing down the sudden lump in the back of his throat, Naruto manages to open his mouth. "W-why are you apologizing?" He stutters quietly. It's silent for an odd moment. Naruto's fox ears twitch.
"I've forcibly brought you back here."
"Oh"
Naruto bites down on his bottom lip, fingers curling tightly around the black bars of Kurama's old cage. Heaving out a breath, chest tightening, eyes watering, "I don't want to see them die again" He confesses. He was back in the past. He was twelve again. He was going to have to re-live everything.
Kurama hums. "Then don't let them die."
"I'll get you out," Naruto softly promises after a minute of quiet. He then sniffles, cheeks turning pink. "But hey, what the hell is it with the ears and tail?!"
Kurama's only answer is a deep chuckle that sends shivers down Naruto's back.
Naruto leaves the mindscape and stalks back to his bed. He crashes into it with exhaustion and let's sleep whisk him away. He notices his Hitai-ate on the beside table through bleary eyes and then crashes. It's painful to ignore everything, but it's even more painful to acknowledge it.
He'll deal with everything tomorrow.