This was sitting in my drafts for a while, so I thought I'd touch it up and share.
Kai stubbornly insists that he acts nothing like a parent—namely, that he doesn't nag, doesn't boss, definitely doesn't do things like wear socks and sandals, and to an extent, this is true. He has enough youthful, uniquely teenage stupidity to deny him the title of 'mom' or 'dad' friend, but the domineering, "I must look out for my friends/team/family," attitude makes him a formidable foe should one of the ninja get in trouble.
Nya brags that she can handle Kai when he gets into a frenetic craze, having lived with him for her entire life, but sometimes, she finds herself scrambling by the seat of her pants after ticking him off.
One such time, Nya isn't yet in trouble, but only because she hasn't been revealed.
She sits next to Zane, Jay, and Cole on the living area's couch, sweating buckets and trying to blend into the cushions as Kai paces in front of them.
Earlier that morning, Lloyd—their brand new demon-spawn of a teammate that they were all just starting to like—stubbed his pinkie toe against the dining table and let out a string of colorful curse words for all to hear. Kai proceeded to lose his mind, and Nya, in turn, choked on her own spit.
Lloyd currently spends a session of time-out swabbing the Bounty's deck while Kai paces, practically searing footsteps into the floorboards behind him.
"I'm not angry," he says, in a stiff way that indicates the opposite, "I just want to know—" he glares at each of his friends, who watch on in everything from concerned to amused silence, "who taught Lloyd those words?"
The silence that follows is deafening, or Nya is paranoid. Personally, she thinks that Kai is being dramatic for the sake of it, although it had been an impressive string of curse words. Some of them were certainly too dirty for Lloyd to know. It isn't like she can reveal the answer to Kai's question now, anyway.
There are obvious answers (Jay side-eyes Zane; Zane lifts an accusatory brow at Cole, and Cole stares bemusedly back at Kai), and there is the correct answer (Nya stares straight ahead and hopes sweat doesn't start beading on her brow).
"I'm going to find out," says Kai with a jab of his finger, "so I would prefer it if you had the guts to face up to this now. You all know that Lloyd is too young to be using those words habitually. If he's picking them up from one of you, I want to know so we can talk."
Yeah right, Kai. Nya almost rolls her eyes and just barely stops herself from doing so. She almost wouldn't mind telling Kai that she was the one who taught Lloyd those words if it meant putting an end to this.
And it was her. She and Lloyd had an entire conversation where she shared her favorites swear words. She didn't think it a bad idea at the time, but hindsight often has perfect vision. In the moment, it was simply one of the nicest conversations she had with Lloyd since he joined the team. Though they were often stuck together while the rest of the ninja handled a mission, it wasn't until that conversation that she and Lloyd really connected.
He might have even thought of Nya as cool.
The issue with revealing this to Kai is that it wouldn't put an end to this. Once Nya reveals that she taught Lloyd those words, Kai would further freak out because some cruel, evil person taught his baby sister bad words, and he is going to find out who if it is the last thing he does—
Nya doesn't want to dive down that rabbit hole, especially considering how deep they are, now.
So she sits quietly as he looks over the four of them.
"Look," says Kai, "I understand if you're uncomfortable revealing yourself in front of everyone, so if that's the case, we can—"
"What?" Cole interjects, exasperated with the situation, "Do you want us to close our eyes and put our heads down so the perpetrator can raise his hand?"
"If that's what it takes!"
Nya actually rolls her eyes this time, because there is no way Kai could control his reaction if the perpetrator revealed themselves, regardless of who it was.
"Come off it," says Cole, "You know I don't go around teaching kids to curse."
"I'm not saying you do," says Kai, "or that any one of you did!"
Nya chews the inside of her cheek.
"But I believe that some of you—" Kai comes to a stop in front of Jay, "—weren't careful and let something slip around him."
He narrows his eyes, and Jay sits back when he realizes that everyone is looking at him.
"What are you implying?" says Jay, "I didn't teach Lloyd anything! I don't even curse!"
"You can't remember a single time when you might've said something around him?"
Jay opens his mouth, closes it, then opens it again. This action alone is incriminating enough regardless of intent, and whatever he is about to say will no doubt send Kai off the handle.
Nya wishes she had enough time to warn Jay before he says, "Which words did Lloyd say?"
"Darn it, Jay!"
"I didn't admit to anything!"
"Lloyd is like—ten!" Kai fumes, "What if he had said those words in front of Master Wu, or someone important?"
"Wu isn't?"
"You know what I mean, you little toad!" Kai starts pointing, Jay starts protesting, and Nya thinks she should speak up before it gets any worse.
"Jay couldn't have taught Lloyd those words!" she says, pinching the underside of her arm as everyone looks at her, "He doesn't know words that horrible. The worst that he could teach Lloyd would be something like 'frick frack.'"
"I—" says Jay, tone creeping towards offended, "What—what words did Lloyd actually say?"
Kai backs off, but now he eyes Nya suspiciously. A little frown worries his brow, and despite her efforts for Jay, Nya doesn't want to be found out.
Guiltily, she does something dirty.
She motions next to her, saying, "Someone would have to know those words in order to teach it."
Kai looks at Zane, who leans back.
"You?" asks Kai.
"Of course not," says Zane, "I have enough control over my everyday vernacular to know what words I use in front of him."
"But you know those kinds of curse words," Kai accuses, like he's some detective tackling the case of his career.
Nya curses the genes responsible for making her brother an overly dramatic knucklehead.
"Wait, what did he say, guys?" Jay asks, glancing frantically between them.
"I've amassed a large vocabulary in my years," says Zane, "I will admit as much, but I can assure you that some of these words have never been uttered aloud."
"Did you teach Lloyd those words, Zane?" Kai asks, "That's all I need to know."
"I did not," says Zane, "Like I said, I have enough control over my speech patterns to know what I am using in front of Lloyd. At no point could he have even overheard me saying those words in passing."
Kai frowns at Zane.
Nya props her arm against the armrest, wishing that for once in his life, Kai would cool it. She wishes their entire team would, for the day has not been productive.
"Your culprit," says Zane, as invested in the situation as Kai is, though he would never admit it, "would be someone with the knowledge of such words and the inclination to casually curse."
He points a sly finger at Cole, who makes the grave mistake of rolling his eyes as Kai turns to face him.
"Cole," Kai starts, gearing up for another interrogation.
"I didn't do it," says Cole, "I'm more responsible than that."
"Someone had to teach him those words!"
"It wasn't me, and who are you to accuse us, anyway?" says Cole, "For all you know, Lloyd could've picked them up at Darkley's. He could've picked them up from you!"
Cole doesn't mean it so much as he's making a point, but even Nya's eyes widen at this.
Kai's hands ball into fists. "You're going to accuse me of—"
"Guys!" Nya says, hoping to prevent whatever is about to happen next. Kai looks on the verge of a meltdown. "Will you calm down? It's done. Lloyd knows those words, so what can we do to get him to not say them?"
"That's exactly the problem," says Kai, "There is nothing stopping him from saying those words whenever he wants except our direction, and when has he ever listened to us?"
That is a fair point. Lloyd can say any word he wants, really, unless they make the consequences of the offense not worth the effort. Being kids themselves, there isn't much they can do. With a shudder, she thinks of some of the other words she listed out to Lloyd and reminds herself to chat with him later.
Assuming she gets out of this situation before the end of the day.
"Regardless of who did it," says Kai, grumbling as he reluctantly moves on, "I think we need to establish some swear rules."
"What?" says Jay.
"Good grief." Cole rolls his head back, and a collective sigh is heaved across the couch.
"We need to make a list of words we should and shouldn't use," says Kai.
"I'll be in charge of the words we shouldn't use," says Cole, with an all too mischievous grin, considering that Kai is still worked up.
"Don't be silly," says Zane, "I would be far more thorough for that job."
"Nobody is making that list; forget I said it," says Kai, "I'm saying that we make a list of words we should use in place of nasty curse words. No close substitutes, nothing suggestive. Just clean words."
"How will this help if Lloyd already knows bad words?" asks Jay.
"If we use nicer words, Lloyd will eventually pick them up for himself," says Kai, like this is the most obvious thing in the world, "He might not be inclined to use bad words if no one else is using them."
That is…debatable. But Nya can see where Kai gets his logic. The longer they live together, the more the ninja pick up each other's quirks, and Nya has no doubt that this can extend to language, too. All the same, no one—and Nya can feel it—no one is happy with this.
"For how long?" she asks.
Kai stops his pacing, turning around. An odd look passes over his face. "What do you mean?"
"How old does Lloyd have to be before we can say real curse words again?"
Kai stares at her. Everyone is staring at her. Odd.
Kai says, "What do you mean by 'we'? Don't tell me you're cursing, too?"
Oh. Oh no. Nya tries blending back into the couch, regretting having said anything at all. It is too late now, because everyone is looking at her and connecting the dots, if their expressions tell her anything.
She wishes that she'd worn a jacket so no one could see her sweating through her shirt.
"Nya," Kai's tone is higher than usual, "Did you teach Lloyd those words?"
"No!"
She says it fast, but no faster than the rest of the boys said it. It hardly matters at this point, because everybody knows.
Kai doesn't look angry, really, but his voice is strangely quiet when he asks, "Do you say words like that?"
"…no."
Zane and Cole exchange a glance, the kind that says they're enjoying this all too much. Jay looks concerned but not as surprised as expected. Everyone here knows that she drops an occasional swear word, but no one knows of the words she taught Lloyd.
Barring the few he let out earlier. She hopes he doesn't drop any more.
She's going to kill Lloyd later for getting her into this mess. She might've taught him those words, but she specifically told him to watch where and who he says it in front of. Then she'll kill Cole and Zane for silently laughing at her, then Kai—for being the biggest hemorrhoid around.
"How could you do this?! Lloyd is ten!" Kai says, "Where did you learn those words? Did you teach him anything else?"
He is angry, but there is a string of desperation underlying his tone that lessens the imposing nature he had at the beginning of this episode.
Good.
Nya would almost feel sorry for him if it weren't her at the wrong end of his protective antics and excessively righteous attitude.
"Just those words," she lies.
It sounds convincing enough for her, but no one is buying it. The rest of the team snickers to themselves as Kai brings a hand to his forehead.
"My baby sister," he laments sadly.
Yep, Nya is going to kill Lloyd later.
The list of substitute swears is long and absolutely ridiculous, and that's putting it kindly.
"Aw, shucks!" Jay announces, reading through the list and trying out each word for himself, "Fiddlesticks. Gee whiz!"
Kai looks on in satisfaction, and Nya slouches against the couch, miserable. The list is creative, for lack of a better term, but nothing compares to saying the real thing.
"Baloney!" says Jay, "Hey, half of these are just words that I say."
"How are we supposed to incorporate all this into our vocabulary?" Cole looks aghast as he reads the list from over Jay's shoulder.
"Phooey!" continues Jay, "Whillikers!"
"Easy," says Kai, "Just force yourself to do it. Once you do it long enough, it'll be a habit. You can accomplish anything with enough stubbornness."
"You would know," Nya mutters.
Kai shoots her a glare.
"What if we can't break the habit?" asks Zane, though everyone knows that if he uses a swear word instead of a substitute, it is entirely intentional.
"I already thought of that," says Kai, "To help move us along, we're starting a swear jar. A coin goes in if you're caught saying a curse word."
"We?" Jay glances up as everyone groans, "There is no 'we' about this!"
"Is so," says Kai, "I'll be participating too. This is for all of our benefit."
"And when was this decided?"
"Today," says Kai, "I talked with Master Wu about it, just in case Lloyd starts dropping other curse words."
A pit drops in Nya's stomach, and it hits deep. Sweating again, she has half a mind to pull Lloyd out of time out and tell him not to say any more words or she will kill him, but that would only clue him in that Nya would get into just as much trouble as he would.
He doesn't have a problem with getting in trouble, and Nya doesn't want someone younger than her holding that kind of power over her.
She wonders if it would matter anymore, regardless. She's lost her reputation as the most responsible member of the team in favor of feral sibling number five, a miserable title.
Anyway—
"If Lloyd says another word," says Kai, "and we can't find out who taught it to him," –everyone glances at Nya— "everyone contributes."
Stellar, thinks Nya. Now everyone on the team hates Kai in some form or another, but this is hardly new. Everyone understands that Kai wants the best for his team, but when he gets worked up, he can ruin quite a few cordial relations until everyone has calmed down again.
Frankly, she doesn't see the point in fighting this and takes the scolding Kai gives her once everyone leaves the room. She's also the first to drop a coin in the jar when she gets caught cursing a week later.
She's lived with Kai long enough to know when the fight is worth it.
The rest of the team, in typical fashion, turns the swear jar into a challenge of how many curse words can they get away with outside of Kai's earshot (and Lloyd's, since everyone learned from Nya. At least some good came from the debacle).
As for the effects of the list, Nya doesn't think Lloyd even notices the change in language they use around him, too wrapped up in his own mischief. Nya wonders if Lloyd even cares about such a topic.
The kid did grow up at Darkley's, after all.
She does explain the swear jar to him, when the rest of the ninja are out on a mission one day.
"You see, if Kai or Master Wu catches you saying another bad word," says Nya, "You have to put money in the jar."
"Losing money and time out?" Lloyd's eyes go wide. "What got stuck in their craw?"
"Tell me about it," says Nya, "You have to be careful, okay?"
Lloyd stares at the jar and handful of coins already piled at the bottom, a frown on his face. "What happens if the jar gets full?"
Nya eyes the jar as well, confused. "I don't know. I hope it never gets that high."
"Why not?" says Lloyd, "With all that money, you could buy like—so much stuff."
"That's the idea," says Nya, "The money you put in the jar is money you don't have to spend later because you cursed. That's why it is a punishment."
"But the jar will have to be emptied once it is full," says Lloyd, "Where does the money go?"
That is…a good question. "I don't know," Nya admits, "You're not supposed to let it get full."
There is a thought turning in Lloyd's head that Nya can practically see.
"What are you scheming, demon spawn?"
Lloyd grins at her, all teeth. "If it gets really full, maybe no one will notice if a few coins go missing for say, candy and stuff?"
It is a gamble, but Nya likes the idea. It would serve Kai right for making a fool of himself and Nya in one afternoon, and it would serve the rest of the team for laughing at the situation and refusing to follow the list.
With that, she and Lloyd set out with a plan. Lloyd is willing to brave timeout if it means the rest of the team fills the swear jar (because Kai won't make him pay—not that he has money to begin with), and Nya promises to keep Kai off their heels.
What happens is this: Lloyd shouts an expletive near a spot that Kai can hear, making sure to only use words that Kai or Jay would know, since Nya warned him of using the words she taught him.
("I'll eat all your candy—" she threatens.)
Then Lloyd accuses one of their teammates of teaching him the word, which everyone fervently denies. Nya informs Kai of the team's attempts to hide their curse words, and everyone inevitably ends up dropping a coin in the jar.
They keep it up over the course of three weeks, the end of which leaves the jar three-fourths of the way full. It's certainly high enough to take a little off the top without being noticeable, which Nya does one afternoon under Lloyd's watchful eye. She takes enough for a purchase or two without making it obvious that the jar is any less full than it was.
They wait a few days before buying to see if anyone notices. If the ninja do, they don't say anything.
Nya and Lloyd split the cost on two bags of chocolate, which they share while relinquishing their evil scheme.
They pull the same ploy for every week afterward, enjoying themselves and finding all sorts of new candies to try. Nya enjoys the plot and the company so much that she wonders why she didn't join Lloyd on his misadventures sooner.
Right, evil aspirations.
Still, she might enjoy keeping him around, because he isn't so bad.
One day, she is on her way to pull another handful of coins from the swear jar when she walks in to find it in Kai's hands.
She stops dead in her tracks, heart pounding as she watches him look it over. She thinks that she's been coy about this whole thing, but it is possible that she or Lloyd might've slipped up somewhere.
"What are you doing?" she asks, trying and failing to come off casual.
Thankfully, Kai is too engrossed in what he's doing to notice her tone. "I'm drawing a line on the swear jar. I think someone has been dipping into it."
"Don't be silly!" says Nya, keeping her hands carefully straight by her sides so they don't ball up and sweat, "I think your list of substitute words has been working, actually. We haven't heard a real swear word in a while."
"Not one that didn't come out of Lloyd," says Kai, setting the jar against the table and capping his marker.
So they haven't been as subtle as Nya thought. Nya looks down in disappointment.
Kai doesn't say anything right away, and when Nya looks back up, he stares at the jar with an oddly solemn expression. Nya worries that he is working up into another mood, but Kai turns and surprises her with a question.
"Do you think he learned all those words at Darkley's?"
Nya blinks, confused. Kai looks genuinely curious, but there is something unreadable about his expression. Cautiously, she gives her answer.
"I don't think he noticed what kinds of words we used because he was already used to hearing them," she says, "So, yeah. I think he learned…most of them from Darkley's."
Kai nods. "He's been swearing a lot more since we put out the jar. I thought maybe you guys were teaching him words to get back at me."
Nya chews on her lip and forces herself to stop. "You know," she says, "I think he's smart enough to know what kinds of words he's using."
"I know that he's smart," says Kai, "I just—I wanted to help him, you know? He's been by himself for so long."
The topic and tone are serious, and Nya raises her eyebrows as Kai explains.
"When we were little, after Mom and Dad left," says Kai, "I didn't have anyone telling me that it was bad to use certain words in front of people, or that my clothes didn't match or whatever. I had to learn the hard way how it affects you, how other people look at you because of stuff like that. And it's not like you know any better…" he pauses, sighs, and says, "I know I get kind of crazy around you guys, but I thought maybe I could spare you or Lloyd from that."
Nya glances away as he goes on. This is new. Had she known this, she might've been more sympathetic when this all started, but no, her brother had to be difficult about it.
"I don't think he's looking for a mother hen," says Nya, "and I don't think the swear jar was a good idea."
"I know," says Kai, "Maybe it wasn't. I'm sorry I fussed at you."
"It's fine."
"The thing is…" Kai says, "I like to think of Lloyd as one of us."
"He is one of us," Nya replies, "He's a member of the team, now."
"No," Kai's voice goes very low, "I mean like—one of us like you and me."
Oh. Nya doesn't know what to do with this. She agrees, certainly, but it isn't something she's explicitly thought about.
"When it was just us, we had each other," says Kai, "He didn't have anybody, and I want to do right by him, you know? I want to tell him that his clothes don't match."
Nya laughs at the statement, and Kai thankfully cracks a smile, too.
"You should tell him all that," Nya says, "Everything you just said. The team probably would've been far more understanding had you said all this instead of treating us like a bunch of delinquents."
"I can't have the team thinking I'm a sucker," says Kai.
"They already think so!" says Nya, "Do you honestly think that they stopped using curse words?"
"They stopped using them around Lloyd."
"Maybe so," says Nya, "But talk to Lloyd, alright? It might be nice for him to hear that you like him that much. He might even respect you enough to stop cursing."
"Fat chance," says Kai.
They chuckle for a moment, and Nya decides that she might have to have her own little chat with Lloyd.
Because he is one of them, now.
When Nya tells Lloyd that they have to stop robbing their friends blind, he is distraught.
"But we can buy so much candy!" he whines, "We can't stop! Did Kai talk to you? Is that why you're up to this?"
"You catch on fast," says Nya, "Kai did talk to me, but it isn't what you think."
She sits down against the wall and pats the spot next to her. Suspicious, Lloyd sits down.
"We've been thinking," says she, "We want you to be part of our group."
Lloyd furrows his brow. "What do you mean?"
"Kai and me," she says, "we're brother and sister, right? So we're kind of like a dynamic duo, a team against the rest of the world. We want you to be a part of that."
Lloyd's eyes dart side to side as he thinks it over. "Why?"
Nya shrugs, "Because it's a lot easier taking on the world when there's someone looking out for you. Plus, we happen to like you, and we want what's best for you."
"What's best for me is to hang out with you?" says Lloyd, doubtful, "Why does this stop us from robbing the swear jar every week?"
"Because we're not going to have a swear jar anymore," says Nya, "Kai will explain, but the thing is that we can't be a team if two of us are robbing the other behind their back."
Lloyd frowns, but nods. Nya tells him to think it over for a while.
Later that day, she spots Kai talking to him in the living room, with Kai gesturing wildly like he does when he's awkwardly trying to express himself, and Lloyd watching from the couch, carrying the same thoughtful expression he had when Nya spoke with him.
It takes two days of curious silence from their younger brother before Lloyd finally shows what he thinks of their offer. Nya guesses that he just had to process it, which—fine, she and Kai are both guilty of being overly expressive for some people's tastes. Lloyd probably isn't used to it, regardless.
He drops a bowl he'd set out for ice cream on the floor, resulting in it cracking in two.
Under the entire team's gaze, he makes a show of saying, "Fiddlesticks!" with a hearty stomp of his foot.
Nya can't resist laughing, and even Kai smiles as he leans over to help Lloyd pick it up. Maybe Kai isn't a mom or dad friend, but he is certainly a brother.
That isn't a bad thing.
This started as a joke and ended up getting away from me. I hope you enjoyed!
Thank you for reading!