Just an idea I thought of about an American Pie movie if it was set during the summer vacation the year after the events of American Pie 2. A summer vacation crazier, funnier and sexier than the vacation at the lakehouse.
There is no schedule as to when each chapter will come out so it'll come when I feel it's ready and right. I'll try my best to complete it but I can't promise anything. Hope you enjoy it.
"Welcome back to Who Wants To Be A Millionaire", a voice belonging to the presenter of said gameshow, Regis Philbin echoed throughout the studio. "I'm here with Jim who has just answered his $32,000 question correctly and is looking to climb up the ladder and double his money".
Yes, that is James Emanuel Levenstein who is the contestant. Jim has just finished his 2nd year at college and is still going out with Michelle. He has gone on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire to help pay off his college debts and hopefully have enough for the future. He has flown to Los Angeles to take part and brought his dad with him for moral support. Noah Levenstein is in the audience watching on whilst mentioning to the person next to him how that Jim is his son and how proud he is that he's doing well on the show.
"Now Jim", Regis continued. "You have that $32,000 safe and secure, and that is yours regardless of how you do from now on, and you still have 1 lifeline, which is your phone-a-friend". Jim nodded in understanding. "Are you ready for your next question?"
"Yes Regis", Jim replied. "Let's do this", he added confidently.
"Ok", Regis said surprised as Jim had been nervous throughout the show, but now he has a good amount of money safe and secure, the pressure has come off a bit. "Here it is, you're $64,000 question. The lights dimmed down and dramatic music was played.
"Ok Jim, which team won Super Bowl XXX in 1996?", Regis asked. "Was it, a) the Pittsburgh Steelers, b) the Dallas Cowboys, c) the Green Bay Packers, or d) the New England Patriots?"
This was not a good question for Jim as he knew absolutely nothing about sports. He did anticipate that there would be a sports question eventually, which is why he wanted his phone-a-friend to be someone who knew sports. Obviously, when it comes to sports, 2 people come to the mind of Jim that would have a chance of knowing, that being Oz and Stifler. He had wanted Oz to be his phone-a-friend because who would want to have Stifler be it instead. Sadly Oz would not be available during the filming because he had something planned for the day. So Jim had no choice but to ask Stifler to be his phone-a-friend. Surprisingly Stifler agreed, which had shocked Jim, but Stifler had asked for 10% of the money if he got the question right. Jim declined but Stifler said he was joking and said that this would be his starting point towards a career in TV and film and agreed to do it based on that. Jim thought nothing of it and was just glad he had Stifler to help him.
Now back in the studio and with the audience and Regis staring at him waiting for an answer.
"So Jim, how are you with sports?", Regis asked as he waiting for a response.
"Well Regis, not that good at all, in fact, I don't really know anything about sports", Jim replied. Before Regis could speak again, Jim quickly added, "but I do know someone who is big into his sports". Regis raised his eyebrows at Jim's reply.
"Is that a hint that you might want to use your final lifeline?" Regis queried.
"Yes, I am going to use my phone-a-friend", Jim confirmed. Noah thought to himself that Jim had made the right call. He decided to make conversation with the audience member that sat next to him again.
"He'll phone his friend Oz", he mentioned to the guy who wasn't interested in what Noah had to say. "He's a real genius when it comes to sports, phenomenal lacrosse player too." The other guy just nodded absently not trying to play along in communicating with Noah.
"So who are you going to ring Jim?" Regis asked.
"I'm going to ring my friend, Steven", Jim stated. Noah's eyes then nearly bulged out as his bushy eyebrows rose.
"STIFLER", Noah shouted in surprise. The guy next to him jumped out of his seat from the shock as a few people around Noah made shushing noises. "Sorry, sorry everyone, just surprised me", he apologised. "This is going to go really bad", he mentioned to the guy next to him who suddenly looked interested in what Noah had to say when he heard that.
"Ok then, let's ring Steven and see if he can help you get to $64,000", Regis explained to everyone as the phone started ringing. Jim then got the attention of Regis discretely and whispered to him so no one else could hear.
"Listen, Regis, Steven is a bit of, how to put this nicely, erm, different, he might swear quite a lot", Jim warned.
"It's fine, we can edit it out the swear words", Regis assured Jim as it wasn't done live. Jim let out a sigh of relief at that, but still worried that Stifler might embarrass him in front of the audience. Suddenly the phone stopped ringing and the sounds of movement were heard.
"Yo, Casa de Stifler, Stiffmeister speaking, who the fuck is this?", Stifler asked as the audience gasped in horror at the choice of words used. Regis composed himself quickly, especially as he was warned by Jim a few seconds earlier.
"Hello, is this Steven?" Regis asked.
"Please, call me Stifler", the reply on the other line said. Jim just nodded to Regis that this was Steven.
"Ok, well, Stifler, this is Regis Philbin and you are on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire", Regis said as Stifler started to get excited.
"Holy shit, no fucking way, I'm on TV", Stifler shouted as he jumped up and down in excitement.
"Yes Stifler, but please cut down on the swearing, we have your friend Jim here, and he is doing well and has won $32,000 so far but he is stuck on a sports question that he thinks you can help get it right for him", Regis explained warning Stifler about his bad language.
"Well he's asked the right person", Stifler replied, pointing to himself.
"Ok the next voice you'll hear is Jim's and you have 30 seconds to give him an answer", Regis explained to Stifler what will happen. "Ok Jim, your 30 seconds start now".
Jim thanked Regis and began talking to Stifler. "Ok Stifler", Jim started before Stifler interrupted.
"Yo Jimbo, are you gonna treat me and the boys to a vacation with this money", Stifler asked randomly.
"Stifler, now is not the time, just help me answer this question please", Jim pleaded.
Ok, ok, don't get your g-string in a twist", Stifler said nonchalantly. The audience started murmuring to each other about the rude person on the phone. Jim just decided to get straight to the question before time ran out.
"Ok, here's the question, which team won Super Bowl XXX in 1996?, was it, a) the Pittsburgh Steelers, b) the Dallas Cowboys, c) the Green Bay Packers, or d) the New England Patriots?" Jim told Stifler. There was a couple of seconds of silence before Stifler started speaking again.
"I don't know Jim, I might have an idea if you take us on a kick-ass vacation", Stifler replied. Jim just widened his mouth in astonishment at Stifler and his ridiculous request.
"Stifler, this isn't funny", Jim replied. "This is a lot of money at stake". But Stifler wouldn't budge.
"Agree to the vacation and I'll answer the question for you", Stifler bartered. The audience by now were talking louder and Jim could hear some of the things that they were saying.
"Alright", Jim caved in. "I'll agree to it, just give me the answer".
"Well Jim", Stifler said before a brief pause. "I actually don't know the answer, so good luck you idiot". Stifler laughed loudly down the phone before hanging up. Jim just sat there thinking why the fuck did I pick him. Regis sat next to him speechless and Noah shrunk into his seat angry at Stifler's antics.
"Well, we've never had such an interesting person like him before", Regis said as he regained his composure. "So Jim, what are you going to do now?"
"Well I'm just going to have to guess", Jim replied. "I'll have $32,000 anyway, so I'm going to say..."
Meanwhile, back in East Great Falls, Stifler had just got off the phone and was ready to go out to get some beer ready for a party he's hosting in the next couple of days. He was laughing loudly to himself thinking about what's happening to Jim right now. "Can't wait to see him look like a stupid fucking idiot when the show airs", Stifler thought to himself whilst laughing some more. He picked up his car keys and left his house and got in his car and drove into town to buy some booze.
Whilst Stifler was getting in his car, a group of four were in East Great Fall's favourite fast food diner, Dog Years. The four being Kevin, Finch, Vicky, and Jessica. This was the first time the four of them had met up since they finished college for the year. They had tried to get everyone to come, but Jim was obviously doing other things and Oz went out of town for the day to see some relatives. Michelle and Heather didn't want to go as they felt they would feel out of place without having their boyfriends there as they weren't as close to the rest of the group. The four were talking about their year in college and any juicy stories they had to share. Finch was in the middle of talking about a story that involved 2 Japanese students in his class and a happy ending massage.
"So yeah, they offered me a massage as my back was aching so much, and things got pretty raunchy as it went on", Finch explained as he finished his anecdote. Vicky was laughing so hard wondering how Finch gets in the craziest sexual situations. Jessica gave him a high five and a wink in congratulation. Kevin just shook his head at how Finch's luck can be at times.
"You lucky bastard, just how do you do it Finch?", Kevin asked.
"I guess I was just in the right place at the right time Kevin", Finch replied. Jessica then decided to change the subject, wanting to know about Kevin's year at college seeing if he has really gotten over Vicky.
"So Kev, it's your turn, anything you want to share with us", she asked Kevin who turned slightly red at the question feeling a little embarrassed.
"Well, I don't have a story as crazy as Finch's, but there was this one girl at a party...", as Kevin was telling his story, Stifler had parked up his car and happened to walk past Dog Years as he made his way to the shop and took a glance in the window and recognised a face he wasn't to keen on seeing which was Finch's. He also saw Jessica as well as the backs of Kevin and Vicky's heads and decided to go and annoy them. He opened the door and shouted from across the room.
"Hey look, it's 2 dicks", Stifler shouted whilst pointing at Vicky and Jessica. "And 2 pussies", he continued as he moved his fingers towards Kevin and Finch. The group of 4 rolled their eyes and sighed at having their afternoon ruined by Stifler.
"Great, what do you want Stifler?", Vicky complained not wanting to be near him. Stifler sat down between Finch and Kevin and put his arms around their shoulders.
"I just wanted to come and say hi to my friends", he said in a mocking tone. "I've not seen you lot all year". Kevin looks at him weirdly after he said that.
"Stifler, you do know we go to the same college, I've seen you plenty of times, and I'm pretty sure you don't miss Finch", Kevin explained to Stifler.
"Yeah, I guess you're right Kevin, especially after Shit Break went after my mom again", Stifler rages as he goes to punch Finch in the arm, but Finch quickly dodges but in doing so, he knocks his drink over and spills it on his lap.
"Ah fuck, well done Steven you imbecile", Finch shouted at Stifler trying to blame him. Stifler of course laughed his ass off as anything that goes wrong with Finch is hilarious to him.
"Haha, fucking hell Shit Break, I know you've shit yourself in public before, but I didn't know you piss yourself as well", Stifler laughed referencing his diarrhea incident when they were in high school, coincidentally also happened because of Stifler. "I thought it was just Sherman that pissed himself". Stifler laughed some more as the others just shook their heads at him.
"I need to dry myself now, thanks to you Stifler", Finch said as he walked off to the bathroom.
"Hey look Shit Break, you've learned how to go to the toilet in public, I'm so proud of you", Stifler joked before stealing some fries that Finch hadn't finished yet.
"Why are you really here Stifler?" Jessica questioned.
"Well, if you want to know, I was just getting some booze for the party this weekend and saw you through the window as I walked past and I've got something to tell you about Jimbo", Stifler explained getting the others attention.
"What's happened to him?", Kevin asked nervously expecting the worst if it came from Stifler's mouth as it usually does.
"Well you know he's on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire right"? Stifler questioned as the others nodded. "Well of course he asked me to be his phone-a-friend in case a sports question came up".
"As if he asked you, I don't believe that", Kevin interrupted not believing Jim would put his trust in Stifler.
"Oh come on Kev, Jim's so bad with sports as are you, he doesn't seem to know how what to do with his own balls, never mind a football", Stifler said poking an insult at Jim.
"How did he do?" Vicky asked wanting to know.
"Well he was on $32,000 when he rang me, but guess what, I asked him if he would take us on vacation with the money", Stifler confessed hoping for a positive reaction.
"WHAT", the 3 of them shouted at Stifler.
"What?", Stifler repeated wondering why they shouted at him.
"Are you an idiot? Wait stupid question, of course you are", Jessica said.
"Why would you say that, especially when it's going on TV", Vicky tried to explain to Stifler which fell on deaf ears.
"I told him I would answer the question if he agreed to take us on a vacation, aren't you happy that we get a free vacation", Stifler reasoned.
"Well to be honest Stifler, it's not your decision to make, it's not your money, even if you helped get him to $64,000", Kevin replied.
"Well actually, I don't know if he got to $64,000, I didn't know the answer to the question", Stifler confessed getting dumbfounded looks from the others.
"You really are a fucking idiot, you know that means you're not getting your precious vacation", Jessica explained waiting for Stifler to realise his mistake.
"Why the fuck not?", Stifler asked confused.
"You made him agree to the vacation if you answered the question, but you didn't answer the question", Kevin tried to get Stifler to understand. Stifler then realised what had happened but he seemed calm about it.
"Oh yeah, ah well, I can still persuade him, I have my ways", Stifler said.
"Well good luck with that, he told me he's planning for his future with Michelle and the money would help", Kevin explained having talked with Jim about it the other day. As they were still arguing about it, Finch had come out of the bathroom with a drier crotch area and only noticeable if you looked really hard, which Stifler did.
"I told you Finchy, you should have gone to the toilet before you left the house", Stifler mocked again but got a middle finger from Finch. "Anyway, I'm off to collect my booze, if I get this vacation, then you'll all be thanking me." Stifler then stood up and walked out of the building. Finch then stared at everyone else.
"What have I missed?" he asked before Kevin, Vicky and Jessica took turns explaining what had happened during his time in the bathroom.
Back in Los Angeles, in the backstage area, Jim looked at his cheque, not believing he was holding that much money in his hands.
"You did really well out there Jim, I'm proud of you son", Noah congratulated his son.
"Can't believe I've just won $64,000 dad", Jim said still in awe.
"Yes, you got lucky with the football question, but boy do I want to give a piece of my mind to that Steven boy", Noah claimed angrily.
"I know dad, I don't know what I was thinking having him as my phone-a-friend, I should have chosen Michelle as I had no clue with that music question, good thing I gave up and walked away with the money", Jim confessed.
"Well, that's all in the past now Jim, let's go, we've got a plane to catch soon", Noah reminded Jim about their flight back to Michigan.
"Ok dad, let's go", Jim replied as they got all of their belongings and headed for the airport.