This idea randomly popped into my head last week, and I just couldn't let it go. I hope you enjoy!
Carina walked into the station with two cups of coffee in hand. She had had a good shift, delivering three babies, all healthy, and decided to come see her girlfriend of almost two years before going home for the night. She had gotten coffee from a special coffee place they both loved before going to the station.
"Hey Carina," Vic said, smiling from the desk where she was working.
"Ciao Vic," Carina smiled, "Is Maya in her office?"
"She should be," Vic nodded.
"Grazie," Carina smiled, turning toward the office which had the blinds drawn and door closed.
"Are you gonna join us for dinner tonight?" Vic asked, "Travis is cooking so the food will be pretty good."
"Probably," Carina smiled, as she knocked on the door of the office, thinking about how glad she was to be part of Maya's fire family as she opened the door.
She was a little confused when she saw the desk was empty, setting the cups down, about to go ask Vic if she was sure when she noticed the bunk room door was slightly open.
"Bambina?" she called, opening the door, finding Maya sitting on her bed, lights off, phone in her hands, just staring straight ahead, "Maya, are you ok?"
Carina walked over to her, extremely worried.
"He died," Maya said, no emotion in her voice.
"Who?" Carina asked, feeling worry fill her body.
"My…Lane," Maya said, not moving, "My mom called me and told me. There was a car accident. He wasn't wearing a seatbelt. He got thrown through the windshield, DOA."
"Oh Bambina," Carina said, feeling her heart break for her girlfriend.
"I don't even know how to feel," Maya said, finally looking at Carina, "He made my life hell for so long, but, god, Carina, he's still my dad. He was a huge part of my life for so long and I don't know. I just…I don't know."
"That is ok, Bambina," Carina said, putting an arm around her girlfriend, "There is no right or wrong way to feel right now. However you feel, that is just fine."
"I…He…I just…Maybe…" Maya said, clearly struggling to figure anything out, tears filling her eyes.
"It's ok," Carina said, pulling her close.
The Italian was going to suggest that they go home, but just then, the alarm went off. "I have to go," Maya said, trying to get the tears to stop.
"You can put Andy in charge and we can go home," Carina said.
"No," Maya said, wiping her eyes, "No, I am fine. I shouldn't care that he's gone. He's been out of my life for two years. He doesn't get to control me. I'm fine. I love you."
"But…" Carina started, realizing there was no reasoning with Maya right now, "Love you too. Please be safe."
Maya ran into the barn, Andy throwing her a concerned look as they climbed into the engine.
"You good?" Andy asked as she pulled the engine out of the barn, seeing the puffiness in Maya's face.
"I'm fine," Maya snapped, looking down at her tablet to see what the call was about, "Everything's fine."
Andy didn't believe her for a second, but they were heading to a big fire so she decided not to poke the bear that was moody Maya.
They got to the scene quickly, Maya immediately barking orders at everyone, calling dispatch for a second crew because the apartment building was fully ablaze and the fire was travelling to another complex.
"Let's get that contained before it spreads," Maya yelled.
"My dad," a girl said, running up to Maya, "My dad is stuck inside. He was sleeping, and he takes a sleeping pill for insomnia and…"
"Ok, you need to go over to the aid car," Maya said, seeing the burns on the girls arm.
"But my dad…" the girl said.
"I will tell my team. What apartment?"
"3B," the girl said, starting to cough, "You have to get him out. Please."
"I need you to go over there," Maya said, pointing as she walked away from the girl, Vic walking over and guiding her to the aid car.
Maya relayed the information to her team inside as the other station showed up, Maya briefing their captain immediately as they all got to work.
"48, what the hell is taking so long?" Maya called as she watched the fire jump buildings.
It took hours to get a handle on the fire, Maya watching her team pull multiple people out, some of them dying despite everyone's best efforts to save them.
"Captain," Vic called, gesturing for her to some over.
"Hughes, I'm kinda busy," Maya said, jogging over to the aid car, only to find the girl from earlier there with Vic.
"I need to take her in," Vic said, "She's borderline for smoke inhalation and she has second degree burns on her arms."
"What the hell do you need me for?" Maya snapped, "Get going."
"I can't go without my dad," the girl said, "Have you found him yet?"
"Listen, you need to go to the hospital," Maya said, "If we find your dad, he will be brought there."
"If…" the girl said, tears filling her eyes, "You have to find him."
"Hughes, I don't have time for this," Maya said angrily, walking away, "Take her to the hospital. I don't care how, but do not make me do the babysitting and coddling. I have other things to do."
Maya was angry and moody, yelling at just about every person who dared talk to her. Four hours after the first call, the fire was finally under control and Andy walked over to Maya.
"We managed to save most of the second building," Andy said, "And no one in that building died."
"We shouldn't have had to even fight a fire in that building," Maya snapped, "If 48 would have been faster and we would have too. We are going to have to do major drill practice."
"Maya, what is your deal tonight?" Andy said as they walked, "You are snapping at everyone and even more moody than normal."
"Not now Herrera," Maya said, shaking her head, "Mind your own damn business and go help finish this."
Andy put her hands up, walking away. Finally, seven hours after they got there, they had finished with the fire and overhaul and they were heading back to the station, a little after midnight. Dean and Ben were in the back of the engine while Andy was up front with Maya, the blonde looking out the window.
"What is going on?" Andy asked, looking at her friend, getting no response, "Maya, Bishop?"
"What?" Maya said, shaking her head, looking at her friend.
"What is going on?" Andy asked, "You have been off all night, and I know you said earlier you didn't want to talk, but…"
"It's just stupid family stuff," Maya said, "I'm… It's fine. I'm fine."
"Well, if you want to talk, just let me know," Andy said, offering Maya a small smile, "I'm always here for you."
"Thanks," Maya said, turning to look back out the window as tears filled her eyes.
They got back, everyone getting to work restocking and cleaning while Maya went into her office, nearly jumping out of her skin when she saw someone in her bunk, heartrate going down when she realized it was Carina.
"What are you doing here?" Maya asked as Carina sat up, rubbing her eyes.
"I wanted to be here if you needed me," Carina said, going over to her girlfriend, wrinkling her nose at the pungent smoke smell.
"I'm fine," Maya said defensively, "And I'm working. You should just go home."
"Maya," Carina said, feeling like she was watching her girlfriend who had grown so much in the past two year reverting back to the woman she had met in the bar so long ago, "I know this is hard, and you don't know how to feel but don't push me away. I am here for you."
"I…I can't do this right now," Maya said, feeling like she was being strangled, "I am going to go shower. I'll…I'll be back in a little while."
Carina thought about leaving but decided to wait. She knew Maya was struggling with this, but she was hoping she would open up to her, at least a little bit, instead of walling herself off.
Meanwhile, upstairs, Maya was happy to find an open shower, grabbing her stuff before getting into the water, letting her tired muscles relax a little under the warm water, reminding her of being a teenage after a long, painful workout.
Suddenly, her eyes filled with tears faster than she could do anything about and before she knew what was going on, she was sobbing.
"Maya?" Andy said, coming into the bathroom to shower, hearing the sobs.
"I'm…fine," Maya said between gasping sobs.
Andy walked out of the bathroom, stopping Jack and Dean who were about to go in.
"Just wait," Andy said, shaking her head as she grabbed her phone, "I need to call someone."
"So we can't shower because you have to make a phone call?" Jack said, giving her a look.
Andy just waved him off as the person on the other end of the line answered.
"Hey, Carina, are you working?" she asked.
"No, I am in Maya's office," Carina said, "Why?"
"Can you come up to the showers?" Andy said, "Maya needs you."
Andy hung up as they all heard footsteps running up the stairs, Jack and Dean both deciding to go find something to eat, giving the women space.
"Is she alright?" Carina asked, panic in her eyes.
"She's having some kind of breakdown," Andy said, "She's been off all night. Is everything ok?"
"No," Carina said, "And she will tell you when she's ready. Give me a few minutes to get her calmed down?"
"I'll keep everyone out of the showers," Andy nodded as Carina went in.
"Bambina," she said, approaching the running shower.
She carefully pulled back the curtain, finding Maya sitting on the floor, knees drawn to her chest, tears streaming down her face.
Carina didn't think twice, she just climbed into the shower, closing the curtain behind her as she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend.
"I'm right here," Carina said as the water continued to fall over them, soaking Carina's clothes but the brunette didn't even notice, too concerned with being there for her girlfriend.
After a few minutes, the tears slowed some.
"Are you ready to get out?" Carina asked.
Maya nodded as Carina helped her up.
"Your clothes are soaked," Maya said with a shaky breath.
"It's ok," Carina shrugged, "I have some extra things in your bunk I think."
Maya nodded as Carina pulled back the shower curtain, realizing Andy must have brought in an extra towel for her because there were now two on the hook. She handed one to Maya, helping the blonde wrap it around herself when it seemed that her girlfriend had completely forgotten how her hands worked.
"Come on," Carina said once her own towel was on.
She genuinely had no idea how this was going to work because her clothes were downstairs, but she just pushed it out of her mind to focus on Maya.
As they walked out of the showers, Andy was standing there.
"There are clothes for both of you in my bunk," she said.
"Thank you," Carina said, guiding Maya into the room.
"I don't know why I feel like this," Maya said as she pulled on her shirt, "I should not feel like this. He was horrible to us. He doesn't deserve these tears."
"Bambina, however, you feel, is how you feel," Carina said, "Even though he was not the father you deserved, he was still your father. He was a part of your life, and you are allowed to be sad he won't be."
"I guess…" Maya started, almost not even wanting to say what she was thinking because it sounded so stupid, "I guess I kinda always thought, maybe one day, he would get some help, and…I don't know, maybe he could be a part of my life again or that one day he would apologize to me or Mom or Mason or I don't know…Now that he's gone, none of that can ever happen."
With that, Maya started crying again, Carina quickly pulling on the pants Andy had left for her before pulling her close.
"Can I take you home?" Carina asked after Maya's tears stopped, "You don't need to be working right now. Just let Andy take over for the rest of your shift."
"I…Ok," Maya said, feeling mentally and emotionally drained, knowing she was not in the right headspace to captain her team, "I need to talk to Andy."
"Why don't I go down to your office and get your bag together while you talk to Andy," Carina suggested gently.
Maya nodded and Carina pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, hugging her close one more time before going out of the room, Andy coming in a minute later.
"Hey," Andy said, closing the door, "Carina said you wanted to talk?"
"I need you to take over for the rest of shift," Maya said, looking down, "My…um…earlier this evening…um…Lane died, some car accident and he wasn't wearing his belt, and I know I shouldn't let this affect me, but I am not really in the right headspace to work right now, and I promise I will make it up to you and…"
"Hey," Andy said, cutting off her rambling, "You do what you need to do. I've got the team. Let Carina take you home. I'm sure this is hard, even though he wasn't part of your life anymore. If someone called and told me my mom died, it would still hurt, even though she and I don't have a relationship. Parents are hard and confusing and the feelings we have toward them are even more confusing and complicated. Let yourself feel your feelings. I've got the station until you're ready to come back."
"I'm just taking the rest of this shift," Maya said, shaking her head.
"Ok," Andy said, nodding, "Whatever you need."
"Thanks," Maya said, finally looking at Andy.
"Of course," Andy said, "I'm so sorry this happened."
"Thanks," Maya sighed, "Part of me wonders if it was what was best for everyone, but then it makes me feel like a bad person. Like what kind of insane person is even a little glad their own father is dead. God, I am so screwed up."
"No," Andy said, shaking her head, "Maya, in a situation like this, there is no right way to feel. Don't be too hard on yourself."
"Thanks," Maya said, wiping the tears off her face.
"Let me know if you need anything," Andy said as they left.
"Thanks," Maya said as she walked down the stairs, Carina standing outside her office, waiting for her.
"Ready?" Carina asked. Maya nodded as they walked out of the station, Carina's arm around her girlfriend.
They climbed into Carina's car, the Italian slipping her hand into Maya's as they drove. Maya stared out the window as they drove home, a million thoughts running through her head until she felt a slight squeeze on her hand, causing her to look over at Carina.
"Ti amo," Carina said quietly, just offering her a reassuring smile.
Maya smiled back, both of them knowing that the next little while was probably going to be confusing and challenging as Maya tried to sort out her feelings about this whole situation, but Maya knew that if she had to go through this, at least she had Carina at her side to help her navigate it.
What did you think? I promise I am going to try to get new chapters out for my ongoing stories, but I just had to write this. As always, any prompts are happily accepted!