A/N: Holy wow. I haven't written anything in years. Somehow, I find myself feeling inspired. I hope there are still those of us out there that are enchanted by the story of Lily and James. I'm not sure where the words for this story come from, but I've had the itch to write for a few days now. This story spans form that fateful day in fifth year until their time at Hogwarts ends in 7th year. Strictly L/J, but also dabbles in some S/M as well. Hope anyone who stumbles upon this enjoys it!

June 1976

She couldn't stop crying.

Angry tears rolled down her face as she wedged herself further between the sticks decorating the bottom of the tree trunk. She didn't know where else to go, certainly not Gryffindor tour where she would be bombarded with Marlene and Alice's apologies as though they were the ones who broke her heart.

A broken heart, she thought darkly to herself. She never imagined her first heartbreak would be from a friendship gone sour. In her gut she had sensed over the years the was she was losing Severus, like waking up from a dream and trying desperately to hold on to the memory. Like sand between her fingers. No, she never imagined heart break to be like this because she was almost certain that by the age 17 she would have fallen foolishly in love with some bloke who she'd perhaps one day find snogging another bird or simply have outgrown his feelings for her. She'd then cry for a few days and feel nauseous every time she saw him in the Great Hall between bites of porridge gone cold on her plate and then that would be that.

No, she didn't envision heartbreak being from a friend she slowly knew she was losing but never thought she'd lose for good.

So she found herself letting the tears out behind an old tree near the Quidditch field where she was absolutely certain no one would be this time of day as everyone was too busy studying for O.W.L.'s or N.E.W.T.'s or still laughing at the cruel bullying that James Potter and Sirius Black had crafted against Severus.

Lily's heart throbbed in her chest. Here was a boy who swore up and down every day that he loves her yet was too daft to realize the things he did hurt her and on the other side of the line was a boy who never spoke of his feelings and found ways to directly hurt her. And yet, she didn't know which hurt worse.

She shook off the thought, refusing to let herself divulge into why it was that James Potter stirred more complex emotions in her during this mess than Severus's words did.

With a trail of snot running its way down her right nostril, she transformed a piece of parchment into a handkerchief and wiped her eyes and nose clean. Her eyes felt swollen and puffy around the rims and she knew she couldn't risk walking back to the castle just yet, couldn't dare to let a soul see her so clearly hurt over the altercation between James and Severus.

It was in that moment that she was so lost in the whizzing of her mind and her heart that she didn't notice the crunch of the twigs behind her as someone approached.

"There, there," a voice drawled behind her. "Dry your tears, Evans. Severus has finally chosen his path and it's not following a filthy Mudblood around like a lost puppy."

Lily inhaled deeply before turning around, already knowing who the voice belonged to.

"I don't care, Avery," she said softly, unable to muster up the strength to argue with him. "I don't bloody care anymore. You win. You can have him. I have no interest in being friends with a traitor." She paused, then added, "Although, even for your sake I would recommend keeping a close eye on Snape. Clearly he has no sense of loyalty."

Avery smirked, his thin lips drawn even tighter. His brown eyes gleamed menacingly against his pale skin, a stark contrast to his dark hair. In another life, he could have been attractive. But in this, he was nothing more than a terrifying shudder in human form.

"You think I care about Snape's loyalty to me?" Avery responded, his voice icy. "It's not me he's devoted to. And the one he is, I promise you no one would ever turn their back towards him."

A chill ran down Lily's spine.

Avery's smirk deepened before he turned away. After a few steps he paused then turned around before giving Lily one more look.

"Don't worry, Mudblood," he said. "I won't tell anyone that I found you here crying over Snape finally putting you in your place."

And with that, he walked away and it took every bit of self control Lily had to not hex him into oblivion. Normally, she would stand up for herself and say her peace. She would never let anyone speak to her like that. But in this moment, she already felt wounded and being alone out here there wasn't anything she would put past Avery if she pushed his buttons too far.

Severus Snape sat in his bed, angrily drawing the curtains around his bed and muttering a spell to lock them in place.

He wasn't just angry.

He was livid.

Icy hot hate was pouring out his heart, his veins, his breath, his limbs shaking as he tried to hold the emotions at bay.

James Potter had not only humiliated him but he had finally done what he had set out to do from the moment he had laid eyes on Snape in first year. He had finally driven the lasting wedge between he and Lily Evans.

Severus angrily buried his eyes into his palms and forced himself to take deep breaths. He was exploding with hate, so much so that he was scared he couldn't contain it.

He knew this was it for he and Lily. She had put up with a lot over the years - letting go of Avery and Mulciber's incessant taunting and cruelty towards her, their frequent arguments about his eye for the dark arts, his jealousy over James Potter's advances, how he couldn't seem to get along with those daft girls Alice and Marlene… the list was a lengthy one but through it all they had persevered. But this, this was it. Snape felt it in his bones.

James Potter had finally succeeded in breaking their friendship. He pushed and he pushed and he pushed until Severus had snapped and thrown the last word Lily had ever expected to hear from his mouth.

Partly, he blamed Avery and Mulciber too. If it hadn't been for their never ending taunting, their obsession with his friendship with Lily, how much they pushed him to see her for what she was and drop her… he could not bear the thought of having returned to his dormitory tonight and faced the way they would have taunted him for having Lily Evans be his hero against James Potter.

Severus's insides felt acidic, hot, waves of nausea rolling through his intestines as he tried to clammer down on the hatred he felt.

He couldn't contain it. No matter what he did, he couldn't contain the hate he felt for James Potter in that moment and all he wanted to do was take out every ounce of hatred in his body and make James suffer for it.

He hastily grabbed his quill and the closet piece of parchment he had. He closed his eyes and channeled his hatred into a vision.

James Potter, gashes of blood across his chest, his neck, his arms, his face. Blood pooling out of him. Every ounce of hatred Severus felt in his veins coursing through James Potter's and bleeding out of him in every direction that it could muster.

With his eyes closed, he wrote a word down on the parchment, sealing the image firmly into the spell.

Sectumsempra.

James Potter had been staring at the little dot named Lily Evans sitting by the Quidditch field for the last 30 minutes. His eyes were starting to burn with each blink but he refused to look away.

Every fiber of his being told him not to go looking for her but he couldn't help it. It was like he was sick, possessed. Even after she had insulted him he couldn't shake her off. He knew he had taken it too far this time with Severus but none of that mattered. What mattered was that in that moment he saw how hurt Lily was from the way Snape spoke to her and his stomach had been in knots ever since.

Sure, he hated Snape and thought he was a greasy git that had no purpose being so close to Lily. But he still had enough shred of decency to know that he was Lily's friend and that their friendship meant something to her. And now he was the final straw that broke them, making James Potter even more revolting in Lily's eyes.

He swore he wouldn't go looking for her but when he saw the little dot named Avery lingering around Lily he couldn't help himself. He stuffed the map in his cloak pocket and made his way immediately to that old tree near the Quidditch field.

When he got close enough, he could see it was just Lily there and he breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't seem hurt, at least not physically, and a quick check of the map proved that Avery was well along his way. He had no intention to disrupt her now, common sense telling him that he was the last person she wanted to see, but the rustling of the map stirred her attention and she looked up at him.

She blinked, her eyes rimmed red.

"Potter," she sighed. "Please. I don't want to hear it."

James cleared his throat. "I, er, I'm sorry. I didn't think anyone was back here. I'm not trying to disturb you."

James made a move to walk away but then Lily's voice caught him.

"I don't blame you," she said. He stopped, turning to face her. Her face was calm but swollen. "It was only a matter of time before Severus and I went our separate ways. So, for the record, I don't blame you for what he said. I know you must be thinking that."

He softened, daring to take a step closer to her. "I feel like a git. Really, Evans, I mean it. I didn't… I hadn't thought that-"

"I know," she said.

They locked eyes for a moment, just a moment, and in that James swore he saw something in her that he never thought he would see. A break. A change. Lily Evans without the optimism that kept her friendship with Severus alive.

"It was wrong," James finally said. "What he said. You should know that."

Lily shook her head. "How do you survive in a world that doesn't seem to want you?"

"I dunno," James responded honestly. "I don't know what it's like... It's not right though. I'm not any different from you. We're both magic."

Lily looked down at her hands, her fingers wringing themselves into one another. "Yeah," she said softly. "I guess… I've known for a while now that things are bound to be more difficult for me, especially with the rise of Voldemort. This is just the first time it's hit home."

James nodded, unsure of what to say.

"Do you want me to sit with you, for a bit?" He offered.

"No," she responded after a moment's thought. "I don't blame you for what happened Potter but that doesn't mean I want to take comfort from the person who sent the ball rolling on this mess."

James pressed his lips together and nodded. "I really am sorry," he finally said. Then softly, "Lily."

With that, he turned around and walked away, vowing to himself that whether or not she blamed him for this, he never again wanted to be the person who got the ball rolling on anything that could hurt Lily Evans.

"I'm worried about her," Marlene spoke, her legs crossed on her bed as she and Alice sorted through a stack of parchments in hopes of finding the one they needed for tomorrow's O.W.L.'s.

Alice nodded as she continued to shuffle. "Blimely, that was bad. Even for Snape."

"She's been gone for three hours now," Marlene pressed.

Alice paused, looking up at Marlene. "She'll be okay, Mar. She needs some time. Not only did James press her buttons again but she's finally come to terms with the end of her friendship with Snape."

"I reckon she doesn't want to talk to us about it," Marlene concurred. "After all, we haven't been the most supportive of her friendship with him."

"With good reason," Alice added.

Marlene nodded, twisting the bottom of her brown hair into a twist. She couldn't keep her hands still.

"Do you think she's mad at James for it?" Marlene asked.

"If you're wondering if this will interfere with you and Sirius snogging behind every dark corridor, I assure you that you two will be fine. Aha! There it is," Alice said with triumph as she finally found her Transfiguration notes.

Marlene laid a hand on top of Alice's that was clutching the parchment, forcing her to look back up at her. "It's not about that. I just, I mean… don't you reckon she'd been softening up to him lately?"

Alice raised her eyebrows. "Lily with James? You're mad."

Marlene shook her head and pressed on. "I mean it, Alice. She's been different around him lately. I bet you that's what caused Snape to be set over the edge today. You know how sensitive he is about James. I think he can sense it too."

"Okay, you officially are mad," Alice responded. "Lily would quite literally sooner go out with that giant squid in the Great Lake than be caught dead with James. Besides, Snape was hanging upside with his dirty trousers sticking out. I reckon that's what set him over the edge, not Lily's secret burning love for James."

"I'm telling you," Marlene said. "She's been different lately. Just last week she sat next to him during dinner that night and they went the whole night without him asking her out or her losing her marbles on him."

Alice raised an eyebrow. "So they have one civil interaction and now you reckon that Lily has a thing for James?"

Marlene shook her head. "No, that's not what I'm saying at all. All I meant was that it's been nice to not have them at each other's throats as much as last year and it'd be a right bummer if this causes another rift between them."

"I s'pose," Alice finally agreed. "It is nice when they aren't bickering. Even though they are monstrous at times, I do really enjoy those Marauders."

Both girls tensed up as the door to the dormitory opened, poking their heads to get a clear view of who was coming in.

With a sigh of relief from Marlene, they watched as Lily walked in, clinging her books tightly to her chest. Her hair was slightly mused but her eyes bore no trace of crying.

"How are you doing, Lil?" Marlene asked immediately, shifting her seat on Alice's bed to face Lily as she placed her books on her bed next to Alice's before sitting down to face the two girls.

"I'm fine," she said, rather stiffly. "I mean, I'm as fine as I can be, given… you know."

Alice and Marlene both nodded, sympathy washing over their faces.

"He's a real git," Marlene said.

"They both are," Alice quickly added, ignoring the dark look Marlene cast her way.

"No," Lily sighed. "I'm just a downright fool for thinking after all this time I could hold on to Snape. I've known for quite some time now that things have been changing between us. I just hadn't expected it to come to an end like this."

"So you're done?" Marlene asked. "For good? With your friendship with Snape?"

Lily sighed. "Yeah, I s'pose I am. I can't forgive him for this, Mar. I've turned a blind eye to a lot of shoddy things he's done and said recently, but this… I can't forgive him for this."

"You shouldn't have to," Alice quipped. "That was downright cruel of him. Especially considering you were only trying to defend him against James."

"I'm sure that's what made it worse," Lily mused as she pressed her head back against her pillow, closing her eyes. Her knees were bent and her hands lay on her stomach, gently moving up and down with each ragged breath that left her ribs.

"And what about James?" Marlene asked quickly. "Are you pissy at him as well?"

Lily paused, then shook her head softly. "He's a downright git, that's for certain. He should've never done that to Severus. I can't forgive him for being a bullying toerag. But I don't blame him for what happened between Sev and I. That's different."

Alice gave a pointed look to Marlene just as Marlene was about to open her mouth again.

"Maybe you should rest a bit, Lil," Alice suggested. "Mar and I can bring you down a plate from the Great Hall in an hour or so if you want."

Lily turned towards them and gave them a small smile. "That'd be nice. Thank you."

It was later in the night as Lily kept tossing and turning in bed, unable to fall asleep, that she finally pressed her face into her pillow and let out another round of sobs that she'd been holding at bay.

There were some that stood with their feet rooted firmly in the light, refusing to bow down no matter how much the shadows bled through. There were those that that had succumbed to the dark, and perhaps not so much as succumbed but had been born with the darkness coursing through their veins. No one wavered between the light and the dark. You knew where you stood with utmost certainty and there was pride in both sides, ego on both lands.

But as the years had blurred together during their time at Hogwarts, they found themselves in a sea of those wavering on the line, not sure which direction to go. There were those that were scared of the future and dared to let their limbs find comfort in the dark while those whose darkness was threatening to engulf them but stayed in the light out of fear.

Lily Evans had always known which side of the line she was on, not like she had much of a choice anyway.

James Potter was born with the light shining out of his chest, his eyes, his words, his breath. Every fiber of his being stood on the side of light.

Severus Snape was dark, all dark, but there was a glimmer of light that kept him at bay. That light was Lily Evans and even throughout the years as the light dimmed, he still held on, still hoped, still wished that he could somehow find his way back home.

Sirius Black's light had shined so bright despite his initial breaths being surrounded by the dark, so much so that he was finally able to root down firmly with the light once he got away from home.

Remus Lupin was decidedly light despite the gods and fates tempting him with the dark at a young age, marring his face and his soul but his heart has always won.

Peter Pettigrew was always scared, always searching, always wavering. He didn't know then which side to choose, thrusted into the light that he was scared was not his truth.

Mulciber and Avery had their eyes set on Snape, determined to push him to the dark. Their darkness gripped around his throat, twisting harder the longer he was away from Lily.

Alice Prewett's light had been muted for a long time until she found her way to Frank Longbottom.

Marlene McKinnon clung to the light for as long as she could.