Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans.
AN: Long time since I last wrote anything Fanfiction related–and I still have not finished my earlier story–sorry. Anyhow, this is an idea I have had popping around in my head for some time. It is mainly my own take on Raven while she is meditating. It could be used as the beginning of a longer story–I just don't know if it will or not–so don't get any hopes up.
Meditating
Breath. In out, in out. Continue to breath. Azarath Metrion Zinthos, Azarath Metrion Zinthos, continue.
Ravens felt nothing. Not even the wind in her hair. Her body was nothing but an object floating in space. She turned her concentration to her feelings. A mixture of which stood between her and balance. Anger and fear– the two most irrational emotion, both fueled by disgust. Sadness–an emotion she had never truly mastered. Trust–the feeling that leads to all other feelings. And anticipation– she was looking forward to Cyborgs meatloaf.
Slowly, Raven picked apart each emotion. Analyzing why she felt the ways she felt, and putting logic in their place.
Yes, she felt disgust for many things. Herself for once, a feeling which the priests of Azarath had put into her from an early age. It was a logical, she was a disgusting creature. A hybrid between human and demon, a product of rape, bred for the sole purpose of destroying the world. But it was not the reason why she felt anger or fear. Raven knew the reason for that. Hours earlier, the president had signed a new law. A law which required all metahumans–with and without criminal record– to get implants. They said it was for the safety of American citizens, and their meta human neighbors, as if metahumans weren't citizens.
Robin was positive to the law, seeing as metahumans stood behind the largest percentage of crime, out of all groups of people. Starfire agreed with him. She said that everyone on Tamaran got implants from birth. But–as Cyborg pointed out–it is a big difference between targeting a whole population and a section of it. Only Beast boy seemed indifferent, although Raven had felt fear emanating from him on more than one occasion when the subject was breached.
Raven was the only member of the team that would be targeted by the law. Robin was human, and so was Beast boy and Cyborg, and Starfire was an alien. Although, Raven guessed it was better to be classified as a meta human than a half demon.
All in all she felt disgusted by the law, how it was designed to control people, to make them feel small and helpless. Make them live their lives in fear. She was already afraid, especially for her kids. Melvin, Timmy and Teether. They too would be targeted by the law, made to wear the implants. And she was angry. Angry at how many people supported the law, how they forgot that most of their superheroes were metahumans. In many cities, metahumans had turned their backs on the people they protected. Most notably in Central City, where–during a press conference–the Flash made it abundantly clear that, until the law was revoked, the city was on its own. Yes, Raven had to admit–this was a special day–when feeling anger and fear was rational. But by using logic, she was able to put the emotions aside and react to them like facts.
Sadness. An emotion Raven had long since gotten used to. But which she still needed to control. Spending her days meditating, training, reading and fighting crime, all the while being exposed to the feelings she herself could never allow herself to feel, made her feel sad. Raven knew that how she felt was logical and a result of how she lived her life. While also knowing that how she lived her life, was the only way she could live. Raven had accepted this, she just had to turn the emotion into a fact. Facts she could deal with, categorise, use, and live with.
Trust. She had not been aware of its danger before the incident with Malchior. After he gained her trust, she went from feeling joy at his presence to a period of what she thought was balance, but proved to be nothing more than hope. Then, when she was about to release him, she felt an overwhelming sense of anticipation, before he betrayed her, and she went from anger at him and disgust at herself, to sadness and fear for ever being betrayed again.
She trusted her friends, being ninety seven percent sure that they would never willingly betray her. Willingly being the key word. If Robin was ordered by Batman, or the team felt she was becoming a danger to society. Would they then turn against her? Willingly or not. She trusted them with her life, and saw no reason against it. That was a fact she could deal with. But her friends had other loyalties too. Some of these loyalties was to people that wanted her locked up. That too was a fact she had to live with.
Anticipation. She liked Cyborgs cooking, and meat was something she craved. That to was a fact. A fact it was easy to live with.
Azarath Metrion Zinthos, Azarath Metrion Zinthos, continue. Breath. In out, in out.
Raven opened her eyes. It was raining, her cloak was soaked. Teleporting from the roof to her room, she changed into a dry leotard. The clock showed five thirty six. She had been meditating for over five hours. She still had time to read. Dinner was not before six. The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath by H.P Lovecraft awaited her.
Tythos