why hello! as many of you may know, i'm a pretty big fan of hevans. i've been looking for a long time to find the perfect hurt/comfort, slow-burn hevans fic, but there just don't seem to be any out there. so i've decided to write one myself. i hope you enjoy :)
Kurt dropped himself into a window seat near the back of the bus and set his bag in the chair next to him. His eyes stung. Either from the sleepless night he was pushing through or from the tears that threatened to fall down his face at any moment. Or both.
The bus was dark and empty. It was the perfect place to let himself nap for a few hours, but he hadn't been able to sleep on the plane, and he certainly wouldn't be able to sleep now. He leaned against the window and let the vibration from the engine drown out his thoughts.
Am I an idiot because I thought you'd be safe here?
The last time he'd been in a hospital had been playing over and over in his head since he'd listened to Carole's message. Hearing how angry Burt was that someone wanted to hurt his son made Kurt much warier of his surroundings, particularly at night. He knew people made assumptions based on his looks. Even in a place as progressive as New York City, he always got disapproving looks on the streets. Six years after having the living crap beaten out of him in a dark alley, Kurt always tensed up when he rounded street corners at night.
Still, it always lightened the load to know his father was doing everything in his power to improve the lives of queer kids. To have someone in his corner at all times, willing to fight to the death over any threats or judgmental glances.
But now, Kurt was full of nothing but dread. Just over seven years since Burt had gone into remission. Nine and a half years since Will Schuester had pulled Kurt out of French class to tell him his father had a heart attack. Here, on an empty Greyhound bus at one in the morning, Kurt felt his world crumbling down around him all over again. He hadn't been to Lima for more than a few weeks in years, and couldn't believe this was the reason he was taking a leave of absence from work for who knows how long. Carole's voicemail looped in his mind.
Kurt, honey...It's your father. He's had another heart attack. One of the guys at the shop found him in his office. I'm on my way to the hospital right now.
Her sniffles made the words nearly indistinguishable, but Kurt had had enough nightmares about this to know exactly what she said. He booked the earliest flight he could and emailed Isabelle on the plane, telling her that he needed time off and didn't know for how long. He tried listening to a podcast on the plane, but his anxiety was louder than anything else. Eventually, he settled on staring out the window, just as he was now.
The bus screeched as it arrived at the Lima stop and Kurt thanked the bus driver before walking out into the crisp Ohio air. The feeling of his home state should have comforted him, but he felt far from comfortable as he waited for a cab. The ride to the hospital was the longest five minutes of his life.
Hospitals had always creeped him out, but as Kurt approached the building, all he noticed was how still it was. There were no ambulances. No families going in or out. Just Kurt and the sound of his footsteps on the pavement echoing against the concrete walls of the hospital. It wasn't quite creepy, it was...eerie. The whole place felt wrong.
"Hi, I'm looking for Burt Hummel's room," he said to the nurse at the reception desk, hoping his voice wasn't trembling as much as his body was.
"Are you family?"
"Yes, I'm his son." Kurt tapped his fingers nervously on the desk as the nurse looked up the room number on her computer.
"He's in room 104 in the ICU," she replied, pointing to a hallway on the other side of the lobby. "Second door on your right."
"Thank you."
Carole was sitting at Burt's bedside, her head propped up both hands with her elbows on the bed. Her eyes were closed, but she was awake. As Kurt shuffled further into the room, her eyes fluttered open.
"Hi, honey. How was your flight?" She stood and opened her arms to hug him.
Kurt accepted the embrace gratefully. After a long and stressful day, he felt safe and warm in her arms. "Oh, you know…" he trailed off, not having the energy for mindless small talk. "How is he? What happened?"
Carole pulled the other chair up to Burt's bed and gestured for Kurt to sit. "Well, they said he'd probably only been unconscious for a few minutes when someone found him, and we're lucky they found him when they did."
Kurt sighed. "I just don't understand how it happened again. I thought he was being so healthy."
"Apparently having one heart attack puts you at greater risk of having a second one." Carole looked at her husband with loving eyes. "I guess being a congressman made it harder to take time to be conscious of every little thing he ate. Not to mention the stress it put him under."
It pained Kurt to think that the thing that made him most proud of his father was putting him in so much danger.
There was a soft knock on the door and a doctor walked into the room. "Hey, guys," she said, barely above a whisper. "I'm Dr. Liu, I'm a cardiologist." She reached out to shake Carole and Kurt's hands and they stood to greet her. "So, unfortunately…"
Kurt's heart dropped.
"...We detected some abnormal rhythms on Burt's EKG when he was admitted, so we're gonna keep him here for observation and run some tests." Dr. Liu turned to Carole. "You said he's been losing some weight lately, right?"
"Yeah, he has," Carole returned nervously. "He hasn't made any changes to his diet or exercise, though."
Dr. Liu picked up Burt's patient chart and flipped through the pages. "Okay, that's good to know, thank you. We'll keep you guys updated. You're welcome to go home if you like, we'll call you if anything changes." She smiled softly before turning and leaving the room.
Kurt and Carole stood in silence for a few moments, processing what they'd just been told. Carole sighed deeply. "You should go home, Kurt. You've had a long day."
"No, I'm staying here," Kurt protested. "I want to be here if-"
"Honey. Go home. Sleep in a real bed. He'd want you to be comfortable. I'll call you immediately if something happens." She rubbed his shoulders and gave them a light squeeze before gently turning him towards the door.
Kurt stubbornly picked up his bag and dragged his feet towards the door.
"Wait." Carole dug through her purse and pulled out her keys. "Take my car. It's parked near the main entrance."
"Thank you," Kurt whispered. He smiled once more at her and cast his unconscious father one last glance before leaving the hospital.
Kurt had barely stepped foot in his childhood home before he was overwhelmed with memories. He could hear Finn and his father shouting at the TV over a football game while Carole chatted mindlessly with Blaine in the kitchen. Every Friday night during high school, Blaine would come over and have dinner with the Hudson-Hummels. After they ate and brought dishes to the kitchen, Burt and Finn would excuse themselves to the living room to watch whatever sports event was happening that evening, while the other boys would join Carole in tidying up the kitchen. It was good bonding time for all of them. They became a family.
Kurt stood alone in the silent house, staring at everything and nothing. He should have felt safe there. But knowing he was about to sleep in an empty home and that his family could shrink even more was just too much. Kurt couldn't even make it up the stairs to his bedroom. He collapsed on the couch and sobbed himself into a dreamless sleep.