For the Phic Phight, 2021, Team Ghost.
Prompt by Hollyflash / Currently Lurking. Prompt: Danny Fenton has been kidnapped! Unfortunately for his kidnappers, he finds this hilarious.

Did a couple drabble sets. 704 words including the title.

The Danny Phantom Ransom

—

They didn't know what Mayor Masters saw in the boy, only that the two were very close— so that, in theory, made Danny Fenton an ideal hostage.

In theory.

"How did you get out of your handcuffs?" The kidnapper demanded, after arriving at the warehouse to find the kid loose—again.

Danny tilted his head to the side. "Handcuffs?" he echoed. "What handcuffs?"

Which might've been more convincing if said handcuffs weren't currently hanging from his henchman's wrists.

"Boss?" his henchman whimpered from the corner.

The Boss cursed, vividly. Just who, exactly, had they kidnapped? …The ghost of fucking Houdini?

—

"So what's my ransom?" Danny asked casually, as the Boss handcuffed his wrists and ankles for good measure. "Price-wise, I mean. I'm curious."

"Hundred Grand," The henchman answered, then got smacked upside the head for talking to the hostage.

"That's all?" Danny made a face.

"Might double it," Boss muttered, "Given all trouble you've caused."

"—and they say I'm bad at math. You know he's a Billionaire, right? With a B?"

"And?" Boss asked. "You think he'll pay more?"

"Oh, Vlad won't pay a dime," Danny flashed a vicious smile. "But be honest. I'm worth at least a million."

—

When they handcuffed the kid, he effortlessly picked the lock.

When they tied him up with ropes, he somehow slithered out.

When the Boss finally got fed up and lost his temper, and fired his gun as a warning shot, Danny stood stock still while the bullets—missed?—his leg… And then the kid proceeded to thoroughly mock his aim.

This whole kidnapping attempt was starting to look like a Home Alone sequel - and it was giving him a headache.

"When I call Masters," The Boss muttered, "I'm asking for two million."

Grinning, Danny advised, "Better make it ten."

—

The phone rang twice before Masters picked up. His dry, posh accent sounded irritated, like he'd just found gum on the soles of his shoes.

"This is a private number," Masters said. "Hang up now, or else I'll—"

"We have Danny Fenton."

There was a long pause.

"Beg pardon?"

Finally, someone who was taking this seriously. The Boss straightened his spine.

"Listen carefully. We want two million in unmarked bills by 6 o'clock tonight. That is, if you want to see him again."

A dramatic pause, and The Boss thought, fleetingly, that this might work.

…And then, Masters sighed.

—

The Boss stormed back into the warehouse, fuming.

"You wanna talk to him?!" He snapped into the phone, at Vlad. "Fine. Talk all you want. Maybe then the situation will finally sink in for you two!"

He shoved the phone under Danny's ear, glaring bloody murder.

Danny smiled. "Hey Uncle Vlad," he said.

"…Daniel, what are you doing?" Vlad asked, dry.

"Mmm… Being held hostage, I think."

"You know what I mean. Why are you still there?"

"Sometimes, we just have to let Billionaires get blackmailed," Danny said.

His kidnappers sighed. No amount of money could be worth this torture.

—

"Daniel," Masters said sternly. "You are going to deal with this situation, and you are going to do so now."

"Or what?" Danny challenged.

"—Or I'll send in your father."

Danny's grin faltered. "You'll what?"

"And poor, bumbling, unwitting Jack will realize his precious son is in danger and go barging in, heedless of the armed thugs inside…"

"…Don't you dare."

Masters made a tutting sound. "Will you deal with it, then?"

"…Fine." Danny scowled. He was not pouting. He wasn't.

"Good. Then I'll be sending the police to your location. You have eight minutes."

And he hung up.

—

The police arrived eight minutes later, as promised, encircling the building with cop cars before breaking into the abandoned warehouse where he'd been held captive.

They found the thugs in a pile, tied up and disarmed, and Danny, waiting patiently in the corner to be "rescued."

("Uhhhh—Phantom did it," he lied, when asked.)

His parents, in the GAV, arrived a barely breath afterwards, once the scene was cleared for civilians.

"Danny!" his father boomed, while his mother fussed over him. "Were you scared?"

"…Sure." Danny agreed.

To be honest, though?

This was the funniest thing that'd happened all week.

—