It took a moment to register that she was looking at Kathy Stabler being lifted on to the ambulance before her mind could process she heard him,
"Liv," he yelled. In complete shock she turned her head to see Eliot Stabler walking towards her.
"Elliott, oh my God."
She could barely will herself to move her legs to go towards him but somehow there he was standing before her. He was talking but what he was saying wasn't registering,
"They tried to kill her. They tried to kill Kathy,"
All she could do was stare in disbelief that he was right there. She wasn't quite sure how her feet managed to transport her to the hospital. Everything remained a blur, an out of body experience that she just happened to be witnessing, but the throbbing pain in her heart reminded her that the wound she had long since declared healed, was anything but. For all of the anger she felt inside, the friend in her always trumped her feelings and the friend in her kicked in to supportive mode. Temporarily tabling their multitude of unspoken and unresolved issues.
She knew it would be a mistake to let him in the interrogation room, and it was. Her innate loyalty to him always provided grace where it wasn't always warranted nor deserved. To no surprise, he acted in the very Elliot way that always required 'handling', a job that she had never asked for nor wanted, but had all the same.
The argument on the rooftop that followed was familiar and reminiscent of their period prior that led to her request for reassignment. They certainly never wavered from challenging each other, both equally equipped on how to wound and build each other up, all the while conveying the somewhat unspoken unconditional love they had for the other.
"It's like old times, you two, always in sync…" Kathy breathed out.
"You really didn't talk for ten years?" She questioned out loud. Olivia willed herself not to look at Elliot and focused on Kathy,
"I didn't even know he was back on the job," she replied.
Whilst nonchalant was what she was aiming for, Elliot heard the hurt in her words. But he never had to hear the words, he didn't even have to look at her. He felt it. Down to his very core his heartbreak was the heart break he inflicted upon her by the seeming disregard for their partnership and their friendship. He knew that feeling because he caught a glimpse of that feeling when she asked to be reassigned. He remembers the anger, betrayal and resentment he felt even though he knew he was partially if not fully responsible for her request to be separated from him.
That was a short period, this was ten years. How she must hate him, and he couldn't and would never blame her. He willed for her forgiveness. Hoped and prayed that their friendship could be salvageable, and if nothing else she would give him the opportunity to tell her how sorry he was, that they weren't a lie, that 'they' meant as much to him as he knew 'they' meant to her. That their 12 years was not a waste, even if the 10 years apart would have screamed exact the opposite. He shook his head in attempt to stay focused on his wife as Olivia unceremoniously let herself out.
"She's asleep," he stated as he walked towards where she was casually leaning against one of the chairs, not fully committing to being there, poised to flee at any given moment.
"Okay," she replied not really knowing how to respond, questioning why she was even there inwardly berating herself for not being able to leave him. After all, she owed him nothing.
"You want some water?" He asked,
"No, I'm good thanks. She said rising to her feet, only to sit back down.
"Back at the station, I put you in a bad situation," he began as he poured himself some water before sitting down beside her,
"I know it's not like it was back in the day, where I had free reign of the place.. It's your house now,"
"Thank you, I appreciate that." She replied as she stood to her feet needing to not be so close to him.
"Liv, I'm sorry." His voice broke as he apologised, his words heavy with emotion as he watched her back,
"Eliot, we don't have to do this." She replied not quite able to look at him. As she finally met his gaze, she read the silent plea written all over it.
"Okay," she breathed with a shake of her head forcing herself to sit beside him allowing him the moment he's requesting,
"You want to do this now? Are you sorry for leaving? Or are you sorry for walking…for not giving me the courtesy call of telling me?"
"Both," he said with a nod,
"I think I thought if I talked to you about,"
"You walked away," she interrupted, her voice conveyed the emotion she carried,
"Because that's what you did Elliot." Her tone shifted to anger,
"I had to find out from Cragen," she continued as she looked at him wanting thin to see how much that hurt,
"Olivia," he says, as an apology, a prayer
"Elliot," not allowing him to continue, with a shake of her head as if buying a moment to compose herself before looking at him in eye before delivering the words that haunted her for a decade,
"You were the most, single more important person in my life,"
"Olivia," he tried to interrupt not wanting to hear what he knew to be true, and what damage his walking away had,
"And you just disappeared," she finished looking at him right in the eye,
"I know." He said swallowing, his eyes dropped before he raised them again to meet the gaze she held,
"I was afraid, that if I heard your voice. I wouldn't be able to leave," Olivia tore her gaze from him and before she could reply, her phone rang. Standing to her feet she tells him she has to go. Their conversation leaving her disoriented unable to focus.
"Hey, how's it going," she answered. She hears his voice. He tells her that Kathy is gone and she's on her feet and before long she was walking through the hospital halls once more. He s has his back to her as she approached, staring at the now empty room that held his wife only minutes ago. Now she was gone. Now he was alone. Olivia stood there for a moment watching him before slowly walking towards him,
"Elliot," she said quietly. He turns, his eyes filled with tears that threatened to pour out once more,
"I'm so sorry." She said sincerely, tearfully feeling the grief written all over him. Elliot leant into her, Olivia's arms immediately enveloping him. She hears him gasp and he buries his face into his shoulder. She holds him tighter, momentarily closing her eyes trying to transfer as much strength into him as she could.
"I'm so sorry," she murmurs again.