"Was it ever good that I was born?"
Twenty
He never fears death.
But even if that is the case, Portgas D. Ace still dies with regret.
Gunshots, swords clashing, cannons booming and people's shouting are the sounds one can hear in the middle of a battlefield. Everything is in complete chaos. It was a battle between two different factions; Marines and Pirates. All because of a young pirate that has to be executed because of his heritage.
Amid the battle, an older brother is saying goodbye to his younger one.
Dying surrounded by the people who love you is not that bad, Ace thought. These are the people who cared for and supported him till the end. He wants to shout and tell them how much he appreciates it but he cannot. Only one person is beside him at that point.
"Oyaji, everyone! And you... Luffy. Even though I've been good for nothing my whole life, even though I have the blood of a demon within me… You guys still loved me! Thank you so much!"
He dies with a contempt smile on his face.
At twenty, Ace finds the answer to his lifelong question seconds away from dying.
Nineteen
"I'm just glad that I found a family…" Ace murmurs in a soft tone. He takes a sip quickly on the cup with booze.
Thatch stares at him with sympathetic eyes. "You know, Ace. You deserve love, too."
Thatch and Marco catch Ace at the figurehead of the Moby Dick. Both of them are the watchmen for the night. Ace knows how much his friends love drinking with deep talks and that is what they are doing at that moment.
Ace's breath stills, looking at the sea. "Do I?"
"I don't understand you, yoi." Marco responds with a heavy sigh. "But always remember that we're here if you want someone to talk to. You obviously need it."
"My father is the Pirate King."
If Marco is surprised, he does not show it in his face. Thatch, on the other hand, has his eyes wide open and mouth agape. They remain silent and it makes Ace more anxious. Ace bit down his lips, trying to calm down his fast-beating heart.
"So?" Marco simply raises his eyebrow.
"Okay, that's a shocker." Thatch smiles, putting an arm around Ace's neck. "But honestly, who cares?"
Ace laughs gently, putting a hand on his lips. "Damn it, guys. I need a better reaction than that."
"Because it's not a big deal, Ace." Thatch comforts.
"Once you take Oyaji's mark, your past doesn't matter anymore, yoi." Marco explains, crossing his arms. They continue back into drinking, dropping the subject.
At nineteen, Ace opens his heart to his new family.
Eighteen
"Become my son!" Whitebeard says, offering his hand to the young pirate captain defeated on the ground.
The blood rushes in Ace's head again. He has suffered a great defeat through the hands of one of the Emperor of the Sea; Edward Newgate. As if that defeat is not enough, the old pirate even wants to treat him like a little child.
The mere thought of a father angers Ace. He is an abandoned child, raised in a world where everything is in chaos because of the King of the Pirates. Everything is his fault.
And now, his nemesis is staring at Ace with a genuine smile on his face, trying to recruit him in.
"No way!" Ace screamed in utter defiance.
At eighteen, Ace finds a man who is willing to accept him.
Seventeen
"I am going now, Luffy!" Ace exclaims, waving his hands excitedly.
Today is the day he starts his new life as a pirate. There is a different kind of stimulation that arose inside of him. He is waiting for this day for the longest time. Ace will take another step closer to his dream.
"Take care!" Luffy bids, waving back.
They did not say their goodbyes. Because deep down, the two brothers know that they will meet again at sea. And once that happens, both of them are formidable pirates of their own right.
Ace gives his brother his widest grin. Luffy still has three years so Ace will not see him for a while. He still worries about the preteen. Luffy is a magnet of trouble, always distressing Ace. But Luffy's dream is to be the King of the Pirates. Even though he is Luffy's older brother, Ace cannot hold his hands forever.
At seventeen, Ace is determined to make a name for himself.
Sixteen
"Next time, Lu. Don't go attacking hoodlums without me, okay?" Ace scolds his thirteen-year-old younger brother. "You can be really stupid sometimes, tch."
"Ow!" Luffy cried, feeling the discomfort as Ace cleans his new bruises.
Ace's anger is unexplainable. Earlier that day, Luffy decided that he would go to Gray Terminal on his own. Ace knows that Luffy can handle himself so he let him go. But it is a grave mistake. A group of men attacks Luffy, hurting the young teen.
His remaining brother who he promised to protect with his own life, comes home with horrible injuries. Ace immediately seeks out to avenge his younger brother. How dare they do that to Luffy?
"Did I worry you…?" Luffy whispers, bowing his head.
"Yes," Ace responds before sighing. "I promised Sabo that I will protect you. Just be careful next time."
"Nn." Luffy nods. "Sorry, Ace.
At sixteen, Ace will do everything to protect Luffy, even if it costs him his own life.
Fifteen
One day, Ace finds himself weeping quietly.
Today is the day of Sabo's fifth death anniversary. Ace thinks that no matter how much time passed by, the wounds will never heal. They still hurt as much as they do when it first happens.
"Are you crying...?"
Ace hears Luffy's concerned voice in his back. He grits his teeth, not wanting his younger brother to see him in that state.
"Go away, Luffy."
But Luffy did not do that. He sits down next to Ace, crossing his legs. "I miss Sabo, too..."
Ace wipes away all the tears. His sobs slowly dying down. "I-I do want to honor him."
"Honor? How?
"Through a tattoo, I guess." Ace mumbles, sitting up. "I'll ask Dadan about it later. What do you think?"
"I'm sure Sabo will like that." Luffy smiles in agreement. He hugs Ace, wanting to comfort his older brother.
At fifteen, Ace still misses his dead brother.
Fourteen
Ace stares with wide eyes as crimson blood oozes on the ground.
It was the first time he killed someone.
The man had a quick but painful death. Ace had hit him straight in the skull, smashing his head like a tomato. The man slumps in the middle of the tavern. Blood is everywhere, in Ace's hands, shirt and cheeks. Even if he washes it, the mental image will still remain.
The shivering of his body does not stop. He breathes in and out, trying to calm his nerves. His heart is pounding unmercifully. Dread washes him, the same one that haunts him for years to no end.
"Y-You're a killer!" One of the acquaintances of the dead man accuses. He points a finger at Ace, eyes twitching in horror and disgust.
Without any second thoughts, Ace runs away. The scene will forever haunt him. It will not be the last time he will kill
His life never matters so why do others who insult him do?
At fourteen, Ace realizes that a person's life is so easy to take.
Thirteen
"The Pirate King's son deserves death! Just like his shitty father!"
Ace silently listens to their berating laughter. He is frozen on the spot, looking at the floor. He tightens his fists, ready to strike any moment to relieve the hatred he is currently feeling.
These drunk men talk about Roger as if they had met the man back when he was still alive. They do not know anything about him and yet they dared to tarnish his name and legacy.
It is always the same answer whenever Ace questions his worth.
He is a demon that does not deserve to live.
At thirteen, Ace believes that he has no place in this world.
Twelve
"I'm sorry, Luffy!" Ace apologizes, yelling. He grabs his black hair in an attempt to suppress his emotions. "I'm completely worthless!"
Ace is a failure at everything. Even at being an older brother.
He allowed Luffy to take on a bear on his own. Luffy was already begging him for help but Ace paid him no mind. Once Ace reacted, it was already too late. The bear already scratched Luffy's face.
Ace just lost Sabo. Seeing Luffy in the current state that he is in, only made Ace's self-loathing worse. He promised Sabo that he will take care of Luffy but it turns out to be the opposite.
He cries, still babbling apologies to his unconscious little brother.
At twelve, Ace realizes that you will only value someone once you lose them.
Eleven
"Listen, Luffy." Ace says hopefully, staring straight at the sea. "No matter what happens, we have to live our lives with no regret."
Luffy looks up at his brother, tears still glistening in his brown eyes.
"Once we turn seventeen, we will be pirates!"
Ace has never lost someone close to him before and he hopes it will be the last. He will do everything to not experience the same pain again. They need to train harder to become strong enough to never lose each other.
Sabo is gone and that is it. Everything about their brother is memories now. They will never go hunting, eating, or fighting as a trio again. Gone is the brother who is the voice of reason. Gone is the brother who likes to teach them. Gone is the brother who loves them.
Sabo died not attaining his freedom.
It leaves Ace and Luffy alone against the world.
At eleven, Ace lost someone irreplaceable.
Ten
"You want me to live…?" Ace questions, not meeting Luffy's gaze. He is no longer angry at the boy, just merely curious.
"Of course, I do!" Luffy immediately answers.
Ace is not expecting that answer. But still, the seven-year-old boy that his grandfather brought him is unusual.
He relaxes after hearing those words. It is the first time he hears it from someone other than Sabo. He yearns for it for years and now that he has gotten that answer, it leaves the freckled boy with mixed feelings
The way Luffy had said those words, made Ace hopeful. Maybe, there are people out there like them who want to be with Ace. He just needs to look at the right place and time. And then, he will find an answer.
For now, Sabo and Luffy accepting who he is, are enough.
At ten, Ace considers their brotherhood as his greatest treasure.
Nine
Gol D. Roger casts a shadow and his son Ace lives on it.
There are things in this world that Ace cannot change. He cannot change his blood. He cannot change the view of the world over the Pirate King. In the stories they will tell for generations to come, Roger will always be the bad guy who started the Great Pirate Era.
But Roger was long gone now but his son isn't. Ace curses his father. Why does he have to suffer for the crimes his father committed? Ace never even met the man. His father had abandoned him alone in this cruel world for everyone to freely hate him. Because the world shares a common understanding that Roger's bloodline needs to be eliminated.
And the scary part is, Ace truly believes their words.
Ace is living on borrowed time. Once the government finds out who he is, he will be executed immediately for everyone to see and ridicule. All because he is related to that man.
At nine, Ace blames his father for everything.
Eight
"What were you doing in town, Ace!?" Dadan barks after chugging down the bottle of booze. "The street thugs down there were raising all kinds of hell, saying a young boy nearly murdered them!"
"Shut up!" Ace screams back. His jaw tightens, glaring at the drunk Dadan. "If I had the power, I would have killed them all!"
"Tch, that's why no one wants to deal with a devil's child like you."
Ace's eyes widened for a moment. He wants to say something but no words come out of his mouth. Dadan continues back into drinking as if nothing happens.
Ace goes to his room one step at a time. Numbness is all he feels, a dark aura resonating. He lays down in his bed as bad memories flash through his mind making him sleepless.
At eight, Ace realizes how much words can affect a person.
Seven
"Let's be pirates." Ace said, looking at Sabo with a small smile. "That way, I will be able to prove myself to the world."
"Pirates are free to do whatever they want." Sabo breathes in before smiling back. "That sounds nice. This place can be exhilarating and I do want to leave."
"We'll raise money first then we'll set sail together." Ace said in determination.
"Sounds good to me." Sabo chuckles.
At seven, Ace has a dream he wants to fulfill with a dear friend.
Six
"You know, I hate my father, too," Sabo replies after Ace reveals his darkest secret. "Our fathers don't define who we are. It is up to us, don't you think? That's why we're yearning for freedom, Ace."
"You're the first person I have ever told you 'bout it…" Ace mumbles. "Are you not going to call me a demon, too?"
"Why would I?" Sabo asks, scoffing.
Ace shrugs his shoulders. "I dunno. Everyone seems to believe that I am one."
"You're not, idiot." Sabo laughs lightly. "Well, do you want to be?"
"Uh… No?"
"Then you're not," Sabo repeats, grinning widely and showing his teeth. "You're Ace."
Ace looks up at him in confusion. Sabo's smile didn't falter. They have known each other for a year. Sabo always got Ace's back and vice versa. They respect each other and made names in Gray Terminal as the terrible duo. Ace didn't realize it immediately but he fully trusts Sabo.
At six, Ace finds the first person who truly accepted him.
Five
"Only time will answer that question, Ace..."
That is all his adoptive grandfather, Garp, has answered him. The more Ace thinks of that question, the harder it is to find the answer.
Ace does not take that as a proper answer. The young boy sighs in frustration. He stares back at the sea, silently wishing that the day will come for him to find an answer on his own.
Because if Ace doesn't find one, he will lose it.
At five, Ace first questions his existence.
Four
"If Gold Roger had a kid, they should execute the spawn, too!"
"Nobody in this world would want a child like that!"
"What if we let every last person in the world with a grudge against Roger poke him with a needle?"
"Then set him on fire and let everyone laugh!"
For Ace, just being born is a huge sin itself.
Roger was a dead pirate from a dead era. Did he deserve those words just because he reached the last island Laugh Tale? When a man is dead, you can say whatever you want about him.
They do not know Ace and yet they still judge him.
At four, Ace learns what it is like to be the Pirate King's son.
Three
"Go back to sleep, you shitty brat!" Dadan angrily yelled after being disturbed from her sleep. "It's just a dream, grow up!"
Ace gulps before running back to his bed. His gray eyes are wide open, not wanting sleep to subdue him again. Tears spill from his eyes as he whimpers. He wants to be comforted to feel that he is not alone.
Nightmares reveal what you truly fear and for the young Ace, it is the devil inside of him. He just wants the voices to stop and leave him at peace. He wants to overcome it but not brave enough. Instead, He remains a coward, hiding in the shadows.
The nightmare felt so surreal. Ace is laying on the ground with blood oozing out of his chest. He could hear the laughter and relief of everyone around him as they celebrated his death.
The young boy shivers with coldness. The night has brought a new profound fear and he cannot do anything about it.
At three, Ace battles his inner demons on his own.
Two
Ace has no memories of this age.
The only thing he remembers is the story Dadan had told him.
One day, Ace collapsed on the floor because of his injuries. He was exploring the forest earlier on his own. Dadan said something about a tiger attacking him with its claw.
The boy was groaning, panting loudly as his feelings worsened. Crying and yelling is all he did, wanting the pain to stop. His wounds were deep and he already bled a lot.
If the bandits did not act sooner, Ace would have been surely dead.
Dadan likes to remind Ace to make the boy feel grateful. They lost a large amount of money that time because of that incident.
At two, Ace almost dies.
One
It is Ace's first birthday but no one is there for him.
It is the first day of the year. The bandits are too busy getting drunk as they celebrate New Year's instead. Everything is loud and no one hears the baby's crying in the room upstairs. It is as if they forget about his existence.
After all, they are bandits, not babysitters. They are forced to raise a baby they did not want. And not just any other baby, it is the child of the Pirate King. If ever someone hears about Ace's heritage, the bandits will surely be executed just for raising an innocent boy.
Ace wishes that there will be someone with him. He wishes that there is a person who will cook food for him. Who will comfort him whenever he has a bad dream. Who will console him whenever he hurts himself. Who will teach him how the world works. Who will love him unconditionally even if he doesn't deserve it.
At one, Ace is truly alone.
Zero
On the island of Baterilla in South Blue, a baby is born. He bears the name of Gol D. Ace.
His father was long gone, executed by the Marines before he could see the birth of his son.
His mother died minutes after delivering him due to the exhaustion of keeping him for almost twenty months.
Now, Ace wonders about his parents. He was raised without them by his side. One ought to be curious about that kind of thing.
Did his parents ever love him?
How did they meet?
What were they like?
Did his parents love each other?
Did his mother cry when she first saw him?
Did his father plan to have him?
Was his mother the one who named him?
What were her last words to him?
Did they consider him a mistake?
Was his mother happy that his son followed his father's footsteps as a pirate?
Did his father hate the idea of him looking up to his rival?
Were they proud of what he had become?
Would they have been great parents to him?
Or did they regret having him as a son?
His questions will remain unanswered since the people who he wanted to ask have long been gone.
Ace dies tragically at the young age of twenty
It is not easy growing up but as the years passed by, Ace met people who loved and accepted him wholeheartedly.
His life finally has meaning because of them.
Thank you for loving me...
A/N: This is a quick one shot I did after rereading One Piece Novel A. Hope you enjoyed it! Have a good day :)