Roman leaned over the armchair to see what had Dean so caught up on his phone. Roman shouldn't have been surprised to see Dean scroll through the pictures of the woman with the dark ocean blue eyes and the pink dyed hair that reached just below her ears.
"You need to move on," Roman said.
Dean jumped in the chair and placed his hand on his heart.
"Fuck, you scared me," Dean said.
Roman handed Dean a bottle of water before sitting down on an armchair across from his friend.
"Don't fucking sneak up on people like that," Dean continued. "You could have given me a heart attack."
"Dean," Roman spoke calmly. "You need to give up on the idea of her and move on."
"What? I didn't even know I still had those pictures. I was looking for a picture of a swan I took the other day," Dean said.
Dean's voice was slowly rising in volume. Clearly he was ready to fight his way out of having been caught.
"Dean," Roman kept his voice calm. "Don't lie to me."
"I'm not. I swear that... That..." Dean sighed. "Fine! Fucking fine, Roman! I miss her. I still love her. I want her back. Are you happy now?"
"No," Roman said. "How can I be happy when you're not happy? But you know it's not happening. You fucked it up."
Dean mumbled something under his breath. He knew just as well as Roman that he had fucked it up.
"You cheated on her multiple times," Roman said.
"I don't need you to keep reminding me of what a fuck-up I am!" Dean growled.
"I think you do," Roman smirked.
"She cheated on me too," Dean said.
"When, Dean? Remind me again," Roman said.
"Fuck you," Dean said.
"By the end after she caught you yet again. You kept pushing her until she snapped and decided to show you how bad it hurts," Roman said.
"And I am fucking hurting!" Dean snarled.
Dean swallowed down half the bottle of water. He sighed and looked over at Roman again.
"She left me for him," Dean said.
"I know," Roman said.
"I would have forgiven her. I mean, I couldn't exactly be mad at her for doing what I usually did. I am mad. Don't get me wrong. I'm mad but I don't get to be mad. I know you understand," Dean said.
Roman nodded. He understood. Etta had done to Dean what he had done to her so many times. Only in her case it turned out to be the only and final time she would ever cheat. She fell in love and moved on.
"I'm still friends with her. I'm not gonna pick sides," Roman said.
"I know," Dean nodded. "I would never ask you to."
"Good, because neither does she," Roman said.
Roman's phone beeped. He looked at the text and smiled.
"Speaking of," Roman waved his phone in the air. "It's her."
"Ask her..." Dean started.
"Ask her what?" Roman asked.
"Ask her if she would take me back if I change. I'm done with cheating. I never cared about any of the others anyway. I just want her," Dean said.
"Dean," Roman sighed.
"Just ask her!" Dean snapped.
"Fine, I'll ask," Roman said.
Roman sent a text to Etta. It didn't take long before he got one back. Dean leaned forward in the chair. He suddenly felt nervous.
"What did she say?" Dean said.
"She says that she'd rather fuck a cactus," Roman said.
"Damn it!" Dean muttered.
"Let her go," Roman said.
"I'm done talking about this bullshit," Dean stood up. "Let's go shopping. We need to buy food before the others arrive."
Roman had lost track of Dean in the supermarket. He paid for the food and went to stand by Dean's car. Dean came out two minutes. Dean was whistling, but Roman was looking at the cactus in Dean's hand.
"Don't do it," Roman said.
"Do what?" Dean asked innocently.
"You know damn well what I'm referring to," Roman said. "Don't fucking do it!"
Roman closed the trunk to Dean's car and looked around. Dean had been standing there just seconds ago. Now Roman couldn't spot Dean. Roman stepped away from the car and heard it lock. He turned to see Dean in the driver's seat. The window was just cracked open enough for them to be able to talk to each other, but Roman would never be able to get his hand through it to unlock the door.
"What are you doing?" Roman asked.
Roman walked to the window and leaned down. Dean was holding the cactus, slowly turning it around in his hands. Roman started to feel nervous. When Dean got hurt or angry enough, he sometimes lashed out in cruel ways.
"Dean!" Roman raised his voice.
"What?" Dean moved his eyes to Roman. "She said she'd rather fuck a cactus so I'm gonna fuck her with it."
"Dean!" Roman yelled. "Get out of the car right fucking now!"
"I'll be back soon. Fire up the grill and start on the food," Dean said.
Dean started the car. Roman tried the door handle but it was still locked. Roman banged his fist on the window but Dean backed the car out of the driveway and drove away. Roman found his phone and tried calling Etta. She didn't pick up.
"Fuck!" He yelled.
He quickly sent her a text that Dean was on his way to her house, and that she better lock the door and pretend not to be home. He could only hope she would read it before Dean arrived. He picked up the grocery bags and walked inside. No matter how nervous he felt in that moment, he still had a barbeque to prepare for. Working a bit might help his thoughts in that moment. There was no way Dean could do what he had threatened to do. Roman refused to believe that.
Dean parked the car and picked up the cactus he had placed on the passenger seat. He was going to get back at Etta. She left him and it was well deserved. He knew that deep inside, but in that moment he was seeing red. He got out of the car and walked up the driveway.
Just as he reached the front door, she opened it as if she had been expecting him to come. She took his breath away once more. Her hair was bright pink and freshly dyed from what he remembered when it shone like that. He always loved that pink color. It went so well with her beautiful blue eyes. Eyes that were staring him down in that moment. It felt like she was looking into his soul. He suddenly felt so small. He knew he was wrong for even being at her house right now.
"I'm sorry," he said.
She crossed her arms and kept staring at him. She didn't say a word, and her silence cut deeper than any word could ever have done. Tears started rolling down his cheeks and he made no effort to hide his pain.
"I'm so fucking sorry, Etta," he said. "I treated you wrong, and I will regret that for the rest of my life."
"Why are you here?" She asked.
He closed his eyes for a second. Her voice sent shivers down his spine. He hadn't heard it for a while now. Too long if anyone was to ask him. Only problem was that no one was going to ask. No one wanted him to stay stuck in his heartbreak that was caused by himself.
"I don't know," he answered. "I came here for the wrong reasons but now I'm leaving for the right ones. I'm happy that you're happy. I truly am. And I..."
He handed her the cactus. She took it from him and cracked the smallest of smiles. Barely there to be seen but he caught it. She knew he had seen the text she sent to Roman.
"A present. For you and... Shit, I forgot his name. Sorry, it's not me trying to be mean. I really forgot. A present for you and him. It doesn't need much watering. Once a month, I heard," he said. "Okay, I'm off now. Take care."
He spun around and powerwalked back to his car. He had to fight the urge to run. He didn't want her to think he was a coward. He opened the door to the driver's seat and was just about to get in.
"Dean!" She yelled.
He raised his head and looked up at her over the roof of his car.
"I forgive you," she said.
"You do?" He asked.
"I do," she smiled. "Whenever you're ready to start dating again, don't do to your next girlfriend what you did to me. Learn from your mistakes."
It felt like a hand reached through his chest and squeezed his heart painfully. He knew it was her trying to help him, but all he took from that was that there really wasn't any hope. She would never even consider being with him again. He had blown the best thing he had ever had. Still he managed to smile back at her. He could pretend to be brave and somewhat okay for a few seconds.
"I won't," he said. "I'll be good next time."
"Good," she grinned. "Thank you for the cactus. It's pretty. Tell Roman I said hi."
"Will do," he said.
He jumped into the car and stepped on the gas. It had been a mistake coming there. He knew that now. All his anger was misplaced. She didn't deserve it. He only had himself to blame.
Roman sighed in relief when he heard Dean's car stop on the other side of the house. The front door opened shortly after.
"I'm in the garden!" Roman yelled.
Dean came walking out a few seconds later. He kept his eyes on the ground. He didn't look good but at the same time Roman could see something had changed. Dean had finally gotten closure.
"Talk to me," Roman said.
"I didn't," Dean mumbled.
Dean raised his eyes from the ground and looked directly at Roman.
"I didn't hurt her," Dean said. "I told her how sorry I am, and then I left. I just want her to be happy."
"She wants you to be happy too," Roman said.
"Maybe," Dean shrugged.
"She doesn't hate you," Roman said.
"That's just it. She never hated me. No matter what I did, she never could fucking hate me. It would have been easier if she could. She should just have kicked me in the balls and left me whimpering on the floor," Dean said.
"I'll happily kick you in the balls if it'll make you feel better," Roman smirked.
Dean couldn't help but smirk back at Roman. Typical Roman to say something like that.
"I'm ready to move on. It'll be tough but I'm ready to let go of her," Dean said.
"Good," Roman smiled. "There's beers in the fridge. Bring me one too."
"Thank you," Dean said. "You've put up with a lot of shit from me but you've never given up on me."
"And I never will," Roman said. "Unless you don't bring me that beer that I crave so badly."
Dean chuckled and walked back into the house to get two cold beers from the fridge. Roman really was the best friend a person could ask for. Not only to him but also to Etta. One day both of them probably would be able to be present at the same places without issues, and it would all be Roman's doing.
"I love you, man!" Dean yelled from the kitchen.
"Beer!" Roman yelled back.
"Coming, asshole!" Dean yelled.
"Asshole?" Roman yelled. "I thought you loved me!"