Why would he do that?

Why would he even think that would be what she could possibly want right now or ever for that matter, their in the middle of a pandemic and what he thinks that them just getting married will sort that good luck with that he should know better than most that marriage doesn't solve anything in fact it just makes them worse in her case.

Never mind that her sister is in hospital fighting for her life said pandemic; leaving them to look after four children. Three of which never stop asking about their mom which all amounts being far too much. At times she thought she could just about look after Scout but her nieces and nephew; she doesn't know how much longer she can keep doing this she loves them she really does but how is she meant to help these children when she's been these children, she know what they are feeling she knows their uncertainty; you would think this would make her good at this but no it just brings it all back making her get stuck in her own head. It's just messy and she's never been good with messy.

She needs Mer to wake up so that her children can see her, so she could see her, so she can kick her into touch. She loves Maggie she is her sister but she's too much of a soft touch sometimes. Meredith gets her, understands her dark and twistiness has the ability to pull her out before she goes too far but she's in a covid comma and the world sucks.

No instead she's stuck with cheery people and people that think that get engaged in a pandemic, like that will solve things god if it did she would get married tomorrow.

Getting engaged or married for that matter won't fix the nagging thought that's been in her head since she had given birth, still not quite figuring out what that thought was yet but knowing that it was there was annoying the living day lights out of her.

But hey keep singing that will solve the problem. Why did he have to propose? Now all the thoughts that she's been trying to stuff down into a tiny box in her head as popped out trying to rear their ugly head. The same ones that she's been having since after Scout was born and then practically the next day she stuck looking after her nieces and nephew.

God, she needed to change these thoughts before she's stuck in them all day.

Making her way to the living room from where she had been ruminating on the stairs, to check in the kids she notices that there's only two playing and not one where's Zo.

"Hey kids where Zo?" always now having a permanent worry for where all of the kids where sometimes that even included Link, what she would do to be able to have a drink right about now.

"she's gone to wake up Mommy. Will she be able to do it Aunty Amelia?" Bailey stated so matter of fact that you could forget they were talking about a seriously ill woman that nothing had worked yet to wake her.

PANIC

Blind Panic that's what this is blind panic "Link I've got to go look after the kids" screamed Amelia as she literally ran towards the door not stopping for anything.

Panic that's all she felt right now grabbing her car keys and making it out the door just as Link on stood on the top step wondering what the hell had just happened as he tried to calm a screaming Scout after his mother had shocked him awake.

Climbing into the car and quickly making her way towards the hospital. If you asked her later on how she made it to the hospital in one piece, her answer would be the same no matter how many times you asked her.

It was simply dumb luck that's all. She doesn't remember parking up or running through the hospital like a woman on a mission which I guess she was. Because in those moments all she could think about was something was wrong therefore, she needed to be there for her sister and niece.

What she does remember though is coming to a running stop outside of Meredith's room. Where all of the doctors were almost holding a gathering around Meredith's rooms window all watching what was happening in there, is that Zola in there? Was Bailey right? Why didn't Maggie tell her? Too many question right now.

"what happened is she ok?" "yes, she's the same" putting her hand on Amelia to try and give her some semblance of comfort.

"what why, why'd you bring Zola?" In those moments, all Teddy wanted to do was comfort Amelia, they have been growing closer through the past year and now every time she sees the woman, she wanted to be closer to her not quite being used to the feeling, as not that long ago she couldn't stand the woman. Right now though a hug or anything else would be too much so she just tried a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"I couldn't think of a better idea". "oh my god". "I can't breathe". In that second Amelia was pretty sure that head was going to explode from all the thoughts and feels that she had just had in the last ten or how ever many minutes it took to get here.

"I'm sorry I should have told you, you were in surgery". "I need her to live". Because Amelia can't keep doing this; she cant. But knowing that as soon as Meredith does wake up there would be a can of worms that really needed dealing with that, she kept putting off due to not having the mental energy to deal with it right now.

Just standing there thinking about all of this and what life would be like without her sister was just way too much to think about.

Wait was that movement, HER SISTER JUST MOVED.

They all made their way closer to the room all having noticed it too that Meredith was actually showing signs of living. All of them coming to Stand in front of the window, someone must have made room for her she thinks. Yes, they did. Teddy, that was defiantly Teddy she would know that hug anywhere after this last year.

This past year one of the few good things has been Teddy besides Scout that is, they really have grown closer well close, closer would be an underestimation with their relationship before having been nonexistent. But now she would consider her and Teddy to be close; not really knowing how to define that closeness anymore just knowing it was another thing she was going to have to think about eventually. Which looking at the scene before her eventually was getting closer and closer.

In this second though, she finally felt content being here in Teddy's arms looking at her sister with her niece interacting, Amelia could feel her brain turn off and, in this moment, here so she did the one thing that felt right to her and pull Teddy in closer, finding happiness where could.

Promising herself that she would deal with this dull ache/fuzziness inside of her later, not wanting to question right now why she didn't feel like this when Link hugged her, but really already knowing the answer.

Right now, though her sister is awake everything else could wait.

Let me know what you think.