A/N: This story does not take the comics into account as I haven't got a chance to read them yet, so this will only take what happened in the TV series into account.
"Give it up, buddy. She's a lost cause. It's been two years and she still hasn't changed one bit!"
"I'm blind as a bat and I can still see that she's the same nutcase that she was back then. Why can't you see it!?"
"That witch did…things to me while I was in prison…and my friends. That merciless woman deserves far worse than what she got if I have my ways, I'll tell you."
Zuko shook his head, trying to drive away the voices trying to convince him to give up on what he's doing. Ming, the guard who was leading him down a spiral staircase with a tea tray in her hands, turned to look at her master with a concerned expression. "My Lord, is there something wrong?"
"It's alright, Ming," Zuko shook his head again, this time much gentler, to reassure the young lady, "Just…thinking about the things my friends have said."
As he was speaking, Zuko noticed that aside from the concerned expression, Ming's face was a bit paler than usual, and he was quite sure that it wasn't because of the lightning or fever. The tight grip on the tea tray also gave away the fact that she was feeling extremely uncomfortable, as if she didn't want to be here. As if she was afraid to be down here, and for a good reason.
Zuko was all too familiar with this feeling. He had to live with it for a large part of his life, after all.
"Look, Ming, why don't you take a break for today?" Zuko offered with a friendly smile, "I'll take care of the rest from here."
"I-I'm still fit for duty, my lord!" Ming replied almost immediately. As diligent as ever, even when she's scared out of her mind. Zuko thought. I really have to give her a raise.
After making a mental note to reassign Ming to another duty that is less…stressful later, Zuko gently took the tea tray from her hands, "I just remembered that Lady Mai has been asking for a few more pairs of hands to help her decorate the eastern hall. You could go help her if you're feeling able. I can handle a few flights of stairs, Ming. Don't worry about me."
Ming hesitated for a few seconds, then she bowed respectfully with a relieved smile before stepping aside to make way for the young Fire Lord, who nodded in approval. At least she's feeling better.
"Thank you for your service, Ming. Oh, and please take care of Iroh when he arrives until I get back, okay?"
"Absolutely, my lord!"
Ming immediately nodded enthusiastically. She had always liked the retired general. Zuko learned this when his uncle told him about how she kindly took care of him during his stay in the dungeons, often going behind the warden's back to do so. Uncle Iroh would appreciate the young guard's service once more, and she would be more than happy to provide it.
Zuko continued descending down the stairs with the tea tray in his hands. Before long, the voices returned again. The earlier talk with Ming managed to drive them away for a short while, but now that he was alone with his own thoughts once more, they came back louder than ever.
"I'll never forgive her for what she did to me and Mai. After everything we've been through together…ever since we were kids! I thought we were friends, and yet…she still threw us away…"
"There's a reason why your uncle gave up on his own brother, you know? I'm sorry, but she has too much of him in her."
"Some people just can't be redeemed, Zuko."
The tea tray in his hands started shaking, to the point that Zuko had to slow down a bit to prevent the tea from spilling out of the pot. Why must these words continue to torment him even as he's trying to do the right thing? Especially when came from his own friends and allies?
What is so wrong with trying to help someone who had lost their way, just like he once did? Someone who, aside from Uncle Iroh, is the closest family member he still had left?
Zuko was almost thankful that the tea almost spilled. It got him thinking instead about the numerous times Iroh talked about it. The old man just won't shut up about tea if a moment presented itself, which is statistically about every five minutes (he counted).
As long as it gets him to think something else besides the harsh words his friends have spoken to him, then he's fine dealing with Iroh's nonstop tea talks for the time being.
A few minutes later, Zuko was where he wanted to be.
A tailor-made dungeon three-storey underground designed to hold a particularly dangerous individual that is deemed too risky to be kept even at the Boiling Rock. Its former occupant was supposedly a Firebender who was a rogue member of the Order of the White Lotus and was killed in an attempt to break out, according to what Iroh told him. The prison has had a new prisoner since then, and one who shared a very personal connection to him.
Former Princess Regent Azula seemed to be even thinner than when he last saw her a month ago, if that is even possible. Her once beautiful, tidy dark hair was now a long, tattered mess that reached as far down to her abdomen. Even after everything, Zuko regretted having no choice but to put her here. The asylum couldn't handle her, and regular prisons couldn't hold her. In spite of his efforts to help, Azula was just too dangerous to be let loose, so he decided to keep her under a close watch.
Zuko took a quick glance at a food tray set aside at the corner of the cell, still filled with barely eaten food. Even though he had already anticipated this, it still didn't make him feel any easier to see his sister like this.
Zuko stared at the dishevelled state of his sister with pity in his eyes. He couldn't see her face clearly thanks to the darkness of the cell and her own messy hair covering much of it, but he can at least notice the empty look in her eyes as she stared back at him. Then she summoned the strength to give him the slightly mocking smile that he knew so well.
"Back for more, dear Zuzu? Feeling something missing now that your little sister isn't there to make your life more interesting?"
Azula said weakly, something that Zuko took notice as he placed the tea tray down on a small wooden table in front of the cell and sat down. Even like this, she was still trying to mess with his mind. She just can't help it. It's the only thing she knows how to do.
"Nice to see you too, Azula."
Zuko's reply was short. He won't play Azula's game. Not anymore. He learned to know better ever since their Agni Kai on that fateful day two years ago when Sozin's Comet arrived. Azula was beaten not because he was stronger, but because she finally lost her control over him and fell victim to her own emotions.
Zuko poured the tea into the two cups on the tray. He picked one up and reached through the metal bar, offering it to his sister as a friendly gesture. At least he hoped that she'll see it as such, anyway.
"White Dragon Tea. I brewed it myself," Zuko spoke, trying to lighten the mood, "Uncle Iroh told me once that it's so heartbreakingly delicious. It's actually so hard to find a white dragon bush in the wild, it's often considered a high honor if one has a chance to drink a tea made from it."
"Also easily confused with the poisonous White Jade," Azula interrupted, "Can be fatal if not properly prepared by professional herbalists. Due to its many similarities with the white dragon, it proves to be a very effective tool to assassinate guests who didn't know better in social gatherings."
"I…may have heard something along that line, yeah," Zuko admitted, resisting the urge to chuckle a little. After all, he did witness first-hand the effects of the White Jade when his uncle mistakenly consumed it at some point during their travels in the Earth kingdom together.
"Consider it a free hint, so you won't get yourself poisoned like an idiot. Imagine how embarrassing it would be for the rest of us if the Fire Lord himself fell for such a childish trick like that."
"I'm touched." Zuko said before taking a sip from his own cup, "I can assure you that this is definitely the White Dragon tea, though. Believe me, I spent hours in the royal kitchen trying to get it right."
"Of course you are." Azula chuckled, though she still did not reach for the cup, leaving Zuko mildly disappointed. So that's how Iroh felt when I refused to join his teatime back then.
"Shouldn't a Fire Lord have something better to do than be here in some dungeon?" Azula continued, "It's not like he has to worry about his favorite prisoner going anywhere again, is he?"
"Nowadays, I try not to worry too much about anything. Makes it easier to concentrate my own thoughts," Zuko replied. Not entirely true, if the voices that still rang in his mind meant anything, but he did his best to hide it, "Besides, what's so wrong with a brother simply wanting to check in on his sister and see how she's doing?"
"Oh, spare me your pity," Azula sneered, "You've always hated me, just like everybody else."
"Yes, I did really hate you, once upon a time," Zuko admitted, "A part of me still does, really, but it's now mostly because you're not making this easy. I tried to help you, Azula. To make amends and start over, and yet…you put me into a position where I have no choice but to put you in here."
"How tragic. Poor Zuzu went through so much trouble to reform his wayward sister who doesn't reciprocate and cruelly crush his hope of reconciliation," Azula continued in a mocking tone, "You took my throne away from me. My birthright. My home. My companions. Everything. If you think that you can come in here, say a few words, and suddenly everything is back to how it used to be, then you're so unbearably naïve, it's a wonder how you even made it this far in this family."
Zuko sighed, "Even now, you still try to mess with my head. It's as if it's the only thing you know how to do, Azula. Why is that?"
"Because I am a monster, remember? Even our mother could see it."
Strangely, Azula avoided Zuko's gaze when she said that, something that Zuko definitely took notice. Azula has never been one to avoid looking into someone's eyes when she is addressing them unless she feels that they are beneath her and not worth paying attention to, and even then, there would be a smug grin she often gives to show her superiority over them. Azula was definitely not grinning right now.
"I know what I am. It's you who never seem to know what you are, dear brother. Always so confused. So hopelessly lost. That's why you still keep playing this pointless game instead of doing the smart thing and be rid of me like how everybody told you to."
"I thought you like playing games," Zuko replied without missing a beat, "And considering the positions we're both in right now, are you certain that I am the one who's hopelessly lost and not the other way around?"
There was a slight twitch in Azula's eyes as her expression hardened. Then her lips formed a small grudging smile, "That's a good one. You're actually getting better at this, huh, brother? Impressive, but you have to do better than that to get me to crack."
"Once again, you see the worst in everyone," Zuko said calmly, "I'm just pointing out my observation. It's you who assumed that I meant to do otherwise."
Azula didn't reply anything. Her expression remained stoic, but Zuko could detect hostility just brewing up inside. For better or worse, he had hit a sensitive subject, and he knew full well how ferocious Azula could be when her buttons are pushed. Nevertheless, this was the only way he could work his way through her problem. It was what Iroh did with him a long time ago, after all.
"That tea is gonna go to waste if you leave it like that," Zuko spoke as he poured himself another cup of tea, "It's a real shame, too. I did my best to get it right, you know?"
Azula snickered. She watched on quietly as Zuko poured the tea into the cup until it was full…and then he kept continue on…and on…until it started overflowing. The sight of it annoyed Azula to no end. Several questions flew around in her head: what is her brother planning to do? Where is he going with this? What is the point of this entire conversation? She couldn't find any satisfying answer for any of it, and she hated not having all the answers. The tea continuously overflowing from the cup didn't really help as well.
"What are you even doing!?" Azula finally snapped, "I thought you said that thing is precious!"
"Oh…" Zuko spoke absent-mindedly before pulling the teapot away, "I'm sorry. I got carried away for a while."
"That's a blatant lie and you know it. What are you really trying to do?"
"I already told you, am I not? I just want to have a teatime with you."
"You're not fooling me with that sorry excuse. You're planning something."
"If that's what you wanted to believe then suit yourself. After all, you always know best, right?"
"Don't test my patience."
Azula gritted her teeth, fists clenching as anger started to boil inside her. How in the name of Sozin did her brother managed to get under her skin this much? Every time she sees Zuko or even think of him, she couldn't help but getting frustrated, and the worst thing was she wasn't even sure what she's even frustrated about. The fact that he had their mother's love while she herself got none from her? The fact that he had beaten her despite being clearly the inferior duelist? The fact that he took away everything from her on the most important day of her life? The fact that no matter what she did to take back what's rightfully hers in the past couple of years are foiled because her brother won't be swayed by her anymore?
That has always been Azula's biggest fear: to be a failure. Failure like her brother used to be.
The thought of it made her sick to her core, yet there was nothing she could do, no answer that she could find, and it was killing her slowly everyday trying to make it go away.
She couldn't take it anymore.
"…You're right. I am lost." Azula finally admitted, "Isn't that what you wanted to hear so much? Isn't that the point of all these pathetic sessions? To finally get me to admit that you have truly beaten me?"
To her surprise, Zuko's response was nothing like what she expected at all. He reached across the metal bars and grabbed the cup on her side, still full of the precious white dragon tea, before pouring all of it away on the ground. He then did the same to his own cup, pouring the overflowing content away like it means nothing.
"Believe it or not, there was never a time where I see myself as superior to you," He finally began, "You're better than me by a long shot, Azula. Always have and always will. You know how to make others bend to your will. You mastered skills that I took years to get a hang of in just a few months. You took over the impregnable city of Ba Sing Se in a few days without lifting a finger whereas our uncle couldn't have done it in two years with an entire army at his disposal."
"Then why!? Why did I still lose!?" Azula demanded, "Why did I become such a failure!?"
"Because you believe in nothing else but winning," Zuko answered, "That you always have to win, that you'll get anything you wanted, one way or another. It's what you've been taught to believe your entire life. I know this because I was also like you once, Azula. I believed that I am entitled to the honor that was taken away from me, too, and it was why I went to great lengths trying to find the Avatar for our father. For a large part of my life, I believed it was my only purpose, and I single-mindedly pursued it even if it nearly gets me killed several times until Uncle Iroh and the Avatar himself showed me a better path."
"A coward's path, more like," Azula sneered, "You lacked the strength and the motivation to beat your opponent, so you decided to join them instead. You were so hopelessly lost, you needed someone to hold your hand and guide you through all your personal demons like a helpless child. You couldn't do anything on your own without relying on someone for help, because you're weak."
"And for that, I am thankful," Zuko said calmly with a smile, "I am thankful that I managed to realize that I can't do everything on my own before it's too late, and there is nothing to be ashamed about that. It's our father who taught us to believe otherwise, because he's incapable of seeing anything beyond strength and power."
"Don't you dare disrespect my father. He's infinitely better than what you or my traitorous uncle could ever hope to be. He would have led our nation to its greatest glory since the days of Sozin himself until you and your precious friends stopped him."
"I will not deny that our father is a strong man, Azula," Zuko explained, "My point is that being strong alone isn't enough, you have to also realize that there are other ways you can achieve your goals without resorting to cruelty and violence."
As he finished, Zuko finally poured himself yet another cup of tea, before doing the same to Azula's cup as well. He took a quick sip from it before he continued, "You have to learn to empty your mind and take on new concepts that are completely different from what you believed in. Uncle Iroh taught me that. Until now, you believed that strength and power can win you anything in life, so when for once they didn't work out, you have no idea what to do with failure."
"I failed because I couldn't think clearly, not because I am weak!" Azula retorted, "If I was in a clear mind, you and that waterbender peasant wouldn't have survived my fury."
"And why do you think that happened?" Zuko asked again, "Why didn't you have a clear mind when you fought me that day, Azula?"
"I…"
For once, Azula didn't know what to say. She still remembered the terrible state she was in that fateful day just before her coronation, even before Zuko and that Water Tribe girl showed up and ruined everything. She was still furious that her father had decided to cut her loose and basically treated her no different than how he treated Zuko. She was furious that Mai and Ty Lee, lifelong companions who were supposed to be completely loyal to her, betrayed her and made her vulnerable. She was furious that despite her best efforts, Zuko and the Avatar still continue to elude her time and time again.
Above all, she was furious at her mother for never loving her as much as her disgraced brother.
But she could never bring herself to admit that out loud. Better that she be dead than showing weakness in front of her brother.
"There was a lot going on in my head," Azula finally admitted, "And that's all I'm gonna say about it. They aren't relevant and I'm not about to humor you with my sob story."
"Maybe you should. Those thoughts are clearly what's troubling you, even right now," Zuko advised, though he knew better than to dig into them further, not when Azula was still unwilling to share them, "Avoiding obvious issues you're having isn't going to help you find the answers you're looking for, but you can't do that if you aren't even willing to accept that you have issues in the first place."
"What, like you did that night on Ember Island?" Azula chuckled bitterly, "You must find all of this pretty ironic, isn't it? I'm exactly like how you used to be on that beach..."
"The last moment we actually acted like siblings," Zuko added with a small smile, nostalgic at the last happy memory he shared with his sister, "Of course, you probably didn't even care that much and was just trying to probe me on things you could use to mess with my head later, but I didn't care about that. What you, Mai, and Ty Lee said to me that night helped me discover who I really wanted to be, and I'm very thankful for that."
"Get to the point already," Azula interrupted, clearly not wanting to be reminded of one of her most cherished memories, which was shattered to pieces when the three people whom she connected with the most all left her behind not long after, "What are you really trying to say? What's the point of this entire conversation?!"
"That not everyone is out to get you," Zuko answered, "If you can at least learn to accept that, then maybe everything I've been telling you so far are not lost to you yet."
The room fell into silence. Azula didn't say anything in reply, nor does Zuko continue to say anything except enjoying his tea in peace. He had already said everything he came here to say. It's up to Azula to decide for herself if she wants to take any of it in or not.
Eventually, Zuko decided that it was time he finally get back to his duties. Leaving Azula's cup of tea and the teapot behind, he got up from the ground. As he was turning to leave, Azula finally called out to him.
"Wait, Zuzu."
She spoke, which to Zuko's surprise wasn't filled with the usual callous tone he had come to expect from her. He turned back to face Azula once more.
"Why are you still doing this?" She asked in a genuinely curious tone, "I'm not a fool. I know that everyone has already given up on me. Everyone except you."
"Does it really need a reason? You're my sister." Zuko frowned.
"There's more to it than that." Azula insisted, "You go out of your way to help me, even when my own mother has given up on me. And I want to know why."
That again. Zuko thought. That voice came back to him once again, telling him to give up on this impossible task.
"Some people just can't be redeemed, Zuko." Iroh told him once, "Your father is too far gone down the dark path. Nothing you say to him will make him change his mind, and the same goes for your sister. She is too indoctrinated by him to realize the error of her ways. I am partly to blame for this, myself. I was never there for her like how I was there for you. If I did…maybe things could've turned out differently."
Zuko gathered his thoughts. He had learned so much from Iroh in these past few years, but this is the one lesson that even Iroh cannot teach him. For all his wisdom, Iroh failed to prevent Ozai from falling down the same path his grandfather did. In the end, the two brothers turned on each other just as Lord Sozin turned on his best friend Roku, a curse that have repeated itself with Zuko and Azula themselves, and Zuko vowed not to let it end the same way, not if he can help it.
Taking a deep breath to drive away the voices, Zuko mustered the strength to give Azula his answer.
"Because I genuinely believe that you can change for the better, Azula," He began, "Uncle Iroh may have given up on my father, but unlike him, I will never give up on you, even if everybody tries to tell me otherwise, including you."
"Heh. That has to be the corniest, most pathetic thing you've said so far, and that's saying something," Azula chuckled, "Even if I play along in this stupid game of yours, how would you know that I won't just be pretending to change, waiting for you to let your guard down before taking back what's mine?"
Surprising her once again, Zuko grinned back at her, in a friendly and not even slightly malicious sort of way.
"The fact that you're the one asking me this question instead of the other way around should be enough answer for you, sister."
Once more, Azula was stunned by her brother's reply. Then she shook her head lightly as her lips formed a tiny but still noticeable smile. She won't admit it out loud to him, but she was indeed impressed. Grudgingly, of course, but impressed all the same.
Well played, Zuko.
"Enjoy the tea before it gets cold, Azula." Zuko said his parting words as he walked out of the doorway, "I'll visit you again soon."
Left alone in the darkness of her cell again, Azula turned her attention to the cup in front of her – still full of tea that she hadn't drink yet. It has been a long while since she got to drink the white dragon tea, she had already forgotten how it tasted like.
Finally deciding to take the cup up to her lips, Azula found that the tea didn't exactly taste as delicious as she thought it would be. Must be Zuko's less-than-stellar brewing skill, no doubt.
But she really did enjoy the warmth of it.
Author's note: My first ATLA fanfic! I just had a chance to watch this absolutely amazing series very recently after years of missing out on it, and gotta say that I fell in love with it so much! Almost everything in it is perfect, from characters, settings and stories, the philosophies and messages introduced.
That being said, I felt like the ending could be a bit longer, though, and I felt that some plotlines are left unresolved by the final episode. I understand that those stories are followed by several comics which I don't have a chance to read yet, but from what I've looked up about them, I didn't particularly like some of the plot developments in them, hence why I decided to write this little oneshot as my personal 'epilogue' for one of those plotlines.
Azula is, IMO, one of the most tragic characters I've ever seen in fiction, and I truly have hope that she could get a chance to redeem herself even after everything she had done, and I think Zuko would be the one person who would guide her through it the same way Iroh had guided him. It won't be easy, and this story is supposed to be the beginning of such development, but the idea is that all hope is not lost for Azula just yet and Zuko still believed in her.
The idea of the overflowing tea scene is inspired by an eastern story about a Zen master and a scholar. The scholar comes to the master hoping to ask him to teach about Zen, but the scholar was already full of ideas and preconceptions about what he thinks Zen is like. The master suggests that they should have some tea together. Then, the master just keeps pouring tea into the scholar's cup until it started overflowing and still keeps going until the scholar asked him to stop. When the scholar asked why did he do that, the Zen replied that, like this cup, the scholar was already full of ideas and opinions. If he truly wanted to learn something new, then he should first 'empty his cup' and open his mind to new ideas. I tried to have Zuko and Azula represented the two characters in this story. I'll leave it for you to decide how successful I am at it xD.
Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed the story! I might write something for TLOK as well after this, so look forward to it! ^^
UPDATE: I've released a new TLOK fanfic: "The Lost Princess", which is kind of a follow-up to this story, taking place four years after the end of the series and following Kuvira as she has a chance meeting with a certain someone on Ember Island. You can check it out if you're interested! :)
