Give Tony Stark the right materials and five minutes alone, and he will build you half a prototype that he'd taken out of his head, but put him in a kitchen without assistance, and you'd come back to him just sat down waiting for whoever would deliver his food to arrive. He had never learnt how to cook, and he never really intended to…
Until today.
Today was Valentine's Day, and he had set up the perfect pampering afternoon for Elizabeth, and it was supposed to be sealed with a perfect home-made dinner, cooked by himself.
He had decided on an easy recipe: Steak with creamy mushrooms and spinach. It should only take 35 minutes and be very easy. He didn't really understand what people would define as easy in this area.
"Sir, don't forget to stir the mushrooms," FRIDAY warned him, and Tony waved a hand over his head.
"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, trying to find the right size for the slices of steak, but the knife didn't seem to be the proper one, so he just walked to the knife collection, frowning at them. "FRIDAY?"
"The third one to the left, sir," the system answered.
"The higher one?"
"The one under that."
He nodded, picking the knife up and walking back to the board, and trying to slice the steak in the way the photos said, getting at least a little bit satisfied.
"What now?" he asked.
"Return the frying pan to medium-high heat," the system answered. "Add the chopped garlic and rosemary and stir until fragrant."
Tony nodded.
"Shit," he hissed, feeling the heat from the pan just as soon as he touched it.
The oven mitt. He had forgotten the oven mitt.
"Sir?"
"I'm okay," he moved to the sink, putting his hand under the water. "I'm okay."
He followed the steps right after, breathing in the scent of the cooking food. It was kinda good if his experience as an eater was to be taken into account.
He should have asked Vision for help, he was always good at following recipes closely.
"What now?"
"One tablespoon of Dijon mustard and half a cup of wife," FRIDAY instructed. "Stir until thickened."
Tony hummed a confirmation, adding the mustard and reaching for the high alcohol dry white wine and looking for a glass, frowning when he realised he didn't have anything to measure it over, shrugging and just opting to pour it over.
That was where things went wrong.
The frying pan was slightly off of its place, and he hadn't calculated that in his movement, and when the wine poured over the fire and the pan, both caught fire, scaring him and making him drop the bottle, with spread wine and fire all over the oven and counter.
"Oh come on," he hissed, jumping back, but not quickly enough. A bit of the flame had reached his shirt, and if the heat against him was an indication, the cotton was burning.
Today was not his day.
"Don't turn on the…" he tried to protest, seeing as the frying pan was not on fire any more. Dinner could probably still be saved if the sprinkles didn't turn on.
He sighed in frustration when water fell over him like rain, and the fire on the counter was extinguished, as well as the one on his shirt, making him groan in frustration. The cream was ruined, the wine was wasted, he was soaked, and the steak was wet.
"Great," he mumbled.
"Tony?" his partner's voice sounded behind him.
Her boyfriend turned to the blonde, surprised. He didn't know she was home already, she was supposed to arrive later!
"What is going on?" Elizabeth asked. "What happened?"
"I…" he swallowed down. "I set fire to the kitchen. Well… almost."
Her eyes moved up to the sprinkles.
"Well, the sprinkles make sense, then," she pointed out. "What were you doing?"
Tony felt his cheeks warming up, not even believing that he was fucking blushing – and cleared his throat.
"I was cooking."
The sprinkles stopped, and her face changed from surprise to a sweet smile.
"Oh, Tony," she walked to him, touching his face.
He lowered his eyes, sighing.
"I wanted to surprise you," he confessed.
"Well, consider me surprised," Elizabeth cradled his jaw in her hands. "Thank you."
Tony frowned. Why was she thanking him?
"I fucked it up," he reminded her.
"But you didn't mean to," his girlfriend pointed out, "You tried and that's important."
He smiled a little, and she kissed his lips.
"Lucky for you, your favourite pizza is delivering tonight," she told him. "What do you think?"
Tony nodded, and she pecked his lips again.
"I'll can them," she decided. "Happy Valentine's Day."
"Happy Valentine's Day, honey."