I know, I know, the concept's weird as hell. All I ask is that you give this tale a chance, plain and simple.
Enjoy!
*Recording translation begins amidst the sound of a torrential downpour outside.*
This thing on?
Good, good.
*a soft, almost defeated sigh*
This is really it, isn't it?
All the apocalyptic events humanity suffered, from the Bronze Age Collapse to the Great War.
All the efforts people put in during the bad times to keep the fire burning just a little longer…
All for nothing.
All thanks to those psychotic 'Imperials' in China who fired the Doom's Day Missile.
Turns out, the damn thing packed a punch equivalent to the dino-killing asteroid from way back when.
Only reason I'm even making this recording right now is because their scientists had a brain-fart when designing the missile's nav system.
Instead of North America like their Emperor wanted, it instead hit goddamn Antarctica.
It's been a damn week since then, and the ocean levels haven't stopped rising alongside the constant Dweller-damned rain.
Frisco, the Boneyard, Dayglow, Boston, and DC.
*a long, drawn out pause*
All swallowed up by the rising oceans within days of Antarctica getting mega-nuked.
From what I can project according to Big Mountain's orbital satellites, it won't be long before the Pacific reaches the Mojave and swallows New Vegas whole.
Another week, maybe two, but no more. A few days after, this facility will become a neo-Atlantis of sorts.
NCR's already hauled ass to the Rockies in the Midwest en masse, same with the Brotherhood out East from what I can tell.
*A bitter scoffing sound*
Fools, all of them.
This thing won't just swallow up the coastal regions and then slowly return to normal.
No no, that would be dire, but ultimately survivable. Humanity managed to live on through America and China's mutual suicide pact via nuclear weaponry, after all.
But when you hit the South Pole with enough force to melt every gram of ice down there, that's when things go from screwed to 'it's an extinction-level event', ladies and gentlemen.
Oh sure, for a long while, people will be able to eke out an existence of some kind in the more mountainous parts of Earth. Might be increasingly Stone Age-y once the tech regresses, but humanity would probably survive at some level.
But the weather effects from this, like the black rain on steroids already in progress outside, or even the temperature swings sure to kick in soon?
Yeah, this is not going to end well for anyone, unless they're still being experimented on in an active Vault somehow.
I give humanity two generations at most before we become all but extinct outside those locations.
And then?
Well...
All the simulations I've had the Think Tank run keep telling me the same thing:
Aquatic-based life will be who inherits the mess which mankind left Earth in.
The sea levels will begin to recede over the next few millennia, with temperatures finding a new equilibrium in a few centuries.
Hell, even the black rain will subside in a century, give or take a few decades.
But by then, we will be long gone like the dinosaurs before us.
However, I do not intend on passively waiting for nature to do its thing over millions of years.
No, not when I can just as easily give evolution a kick in the pants.
If this is truly the end for humanity, then it is my responsibility to ensure its successors are best able to inherit whatever this planet becomes.
*a low, mirthless chuckle*
This might be vaguely Frankensteinian of me, you know.
Saturating the world's oceans with a modified strain of FEV to turbocharge the evolutionary process isn't exactly something a sane mind does at the crack of dawn.
For all I know, the species which arises from this artificial primordial ooze will wind up being even more monstrous than even the worst humanity had to offer.
At a minimum, they'll inevitably screw up along the way just like we did.
But humanity also had those who stood up when we needed them most.
People like the Vault Dweller and Chosen One, who slew dark gods and Old World ghosts.
Or like that kid from Vault 101 out East back in the day, who finished off the Enclave for good.
Or the sole survivor of pre-War America, who fought for the principles which his government had abandoned long before the Great War.
Likewise, there will be those amongst our successors who seek to do evil, who seek to commit unspeakable horrors in the name of ideological brahmin shit.
But there will also be those who will stand against those tyrants, those latter-day Richardsons who get their jollies from exterminating those who don't fit into their worldview.
And…
Maybe.
Just.
Maybe.
They'll manage to outdo us somehow.
Not like that's a high bar to clear given humanity's track record, but regardless, all I can do is give them that opportunity, for better or for worse.
*a creaking sound*
It would be nice, admittedly, to see what they create over the next few thousand years as Earth begins to recover from the Great War and humanity's subsequent self-destruction.
Dweller knows it'll get mighty lonely here in the meantime, and one can only make use of that virtual reality simulation I stole from MODUS so much before it becomes stale.
But that would risk this facility and its technology falling into the wrong hands.
Case in point, the Think Tank and Doctor Mobius, assuming the bio-med gel doesn't dissolve their brains in the next few centuries.
Can't have those wackjobs escape containment, now can we?
*a tired sigh*
Dammit, I'm rambling again. Tend to do that a lot with these recordings, but what else am I going to do, exactly?
Only thing that'll keep my ass sane, relatively speaking.
Still, perhaps before I stop said ramblings, perhaps I should direct it to those who will come after us.
Yes, I'm talking to you, whatever your lot in life may be in this future civilization.
Never stop fighting.
Fight for a better tomorrow.
Fight for the rights of your fellow individuals.
Fight even when the world's against you, even when everyone says 'Oh, it's just the accepted natural order of things, so just mindlessly go along with it'.
If anything, that's when you go all in and really start to shake shit up.
But above all else, find your own path in life and follow that, whatever it may be.
No one, especially not those who deem themselves your betters, should be able to tell you otherwise.
Dweller, I must sound like Ulysses right now.
*a soft chuckle*
Even got the compulsive tape making down pat, now that I think about it.
Well, now's a good time for me to sign off for now; preparations for…
Wait a second, what am I even going to call this madcap plan of mine anyway?
Dweller dammit, I'm going to need to crack open my complete copy of Tolkien's Legendarium again, am I?
*annoyedly groans*
Seeiu, please strike the last few lines from the recording, if you will, then end it outright.
Certainly, Director Dubrovhsky.
*recording terminates here*
Hope ya enjoyed this weird little one-shot. Trying to cross over Splatoon with Fallout of all things is admittedly a novel concept, but I hope this was at least somewhat good.
Feel free to let loose a comment, follow, etc, and have a nice day.
Ciao Ciao! :)