Tattoo - A Portrait Story
Chapter 1
Hermione had thought it only fair that she should help take on the administration of the new Department of Mental Health and Welfare for the ministry, after being such an integral part of its creation. It was going to be a project years in the making, but they had to begin somewhere. She transferred after the legislation passed.
Organizing and staffing had been the first issues. Rules of conduct and assurances of privacy were top priorities. No one would go to the clinic if they couldn't trust that the information would be kept confidential. There was also a matter of finding the right locations. They must be spread out in the muggle world as well as the wizarding world. Many of those afflicted had left the wizarding world for reasons that were clear. They were opened in existing hospitals and schools which would be a central point for any community. There were some outlying government offices that would be expanded to share and of course St. Mungos would have the largest facility. There was even one at the Ministry itself.
As for staff, there had been a call for Legilimens and healers to come forward and get extra training to help damaged minds and bodies. The short 6-month course taught by muggle mental health professionals, hired by the ministry, was a start, but the situation clearly called for more experienced personnel with an understanding of curses, dark magic and spells. Because the wizarding world had no experience with psychology, the Ministry sponsored several students to muggle university to get degrees and then return to adapt and teach others. Hogwarts had even implemented a clinic for the students who were either in the battle or had family affected by the war. It was instituted by Headmistress McGonagall after several teen suicides were reported across the country in The Daily Prophet.
Hermione and Luna had attended the opening of every clinic. Speaking about empowerment to the crowds that came. Each one was dedicated to a fallen member of the Order of the Phoenix and then Hogwarts staff and then Hogwarts students. The first being Albus Dumbledore. The last Collin Creevey.
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The Quibler had received so much mail good and bad, after the portrait series. Many of the letters were heartbreaking tales of loss. Souls in pain that needed help. Many were wonderful accounts of someone taking their life back after reading the inspiring articles and realizing they were not alone. Lisa Evergreen was one such letter.
Lisa had been raped and marked by Death Eaters with those terrible words across her back. It was burned into her skin as she was held down by two others. Like Hermione's word it was a cursed mark that would never really heal. She said she had gone through months of depression and was often suicidal. When she saw Hermione's mark and read her story she decided she would reclaim her body and mind. She was a survivor, and to give up would mean that evil had won.
The letter went on to tell how she had gone to a local tattoo artist who specialized in repairing bad tattoos. She explained the words FILTHY MUDBLOOD were tattooed on her, after a drunken night at a rock concert. The artist was suspicious, as it was clear the words were no ordinary tattoo, but she'd paid enough so that he didn't say anything more.
Luna was so struck by the letter she had to show Hermione. The pictures that she had sent with the letter made Hermione gasp and cover her mouth in sympathy. The before showed horrible red, puckered scars in the form of those letters. The after was a wonder. Now, beautiful, three dimensional red roses were woven through the letters and surrounded the words. Green leaves and vines helped to mask the crudeness of the lettering, but covered only the first word completely. Hermione wondered why. She looked at the picture closer to see that there were other words under the wreath of flowers that read, "and proud of it."
Hermione had to speak with this incredible woman. The owl she sent returned with Hermione's letter. Lisa's envelope had a muggle return address, but it was smudged. She would go to the ministry in the morning and look for Lisa Evergreen in the registry. She was not hard to find and Hermione set out for her home the next day.
Lisa's house was a modest home, barely larger than a cottage, in the town of Chelmsford. It was the stereotypical ancient English thatched roof country house with a climbing rose about the door and a cutting garden in the front yard. The strong wards on the door spoke of Lisa's lingering fear. Hermione used the ornate brass door knocker. There was no answer at first and Hermione wondered if she worked during the day. She was about to slip a note in the mail slot when the door opened.
"Hello Lisa." Hermione said gently. "I'm Hermione Snape."
Lisa was a tall, thin woman with waist length, straight black hair and blue eyes. At first glance she seemed fragile, but the hardness on her face told of a woman who would never be taken again. There was suspicion in her intense eyes, and Hermione became a bit concerned.
"Lisa I'd like to talk to you if that's okay." Still no response. "I received your letter with the pictures. You are a remarkable woman. May I come in?"
Lisa took a deep breath and nodded moving away from the door, gesturing her to enter. Hermione looked about the room. It was neat, clean and well ordered. Almost obsessively so. It spoke of someone who had to keep tight control over her environment. Hermione remembered that feeling well. It took Severus' love to make her feel safe enough to make it go away.
She turned to look at Lisa, who still had not said a word, and waited. People who have had that kind of trauma do not trust strangers. It was best to stand very still and let her make the next move.
By and by Lisa began to relax. "I did not expect you to come." The voice was soft and dainty and a complete opposite to the strong woman she expected.
"I had to come Lisa. Your letter was so profound. I wanted to thank you for sending it. I sent a letter by owl, but it returned to me. I work in the Ministry and looked you up there. I'm sorry if I've upset you."
Lisa smiled a little. "No, You can never upset me. It was the portraits that set me free. I am honored that you have come. Would you like a cup of tea?"
Hermione smiled widely knowing she had broken the ice. "I would love one."
Lisa nodded, "I'll be right back. Please, make yourself comfortable." Hermione took a seat on the sofa in front of the empty fireplace.
Hermione heard the china rattle and the teapot being filled. Lisa came out with a smile on her face. "I'm sorry for the way I greeted you. I'm still having issues with… well you know."
Hermione nodded, "Yes, I understand. It took me a long time to be able to allow people in, even my friends. When you're the one experiencing the pain, it isolates you. It's like your mind pulls away from the memory, but that leaves a void. An empty space that can become a chasm. I had a lot of those. Not just from the incident with my arm, but also the rest of the war. The constant fear of capture. Knowing any moment could be my last. Feeling guilty because I survived when so many others, who should have, didn't." Hermione's memory of seeing Tonks and Remus laid side by side.
Lisa was staring off into space as she felt Hermione's words. "What did you do, to fill it?"
"At first I filled it with work and everyday living. I saw my friends, paid the bills. That kept the feelings at bay, but it wasn't a life. Just, making it through." Lisa watched her intensely. "I would be that way still if it hadn't been for Luna. Her portraits project. It gave me a new sense of purpose. Helped me to not pull away from the memories, but accept them, deal with them. When I did that, they lost their power over me. It also helped to know I wasn't alone. There are so many of us out there Lisa. At first it was heart breaking. All those women in pain. But then, there were a few letters like yours. Women who had been able to embrace themselves and move on."
Lisa sat back in her chair. "I don't know that I can say I've moved on. I'm still terribly suspicious and afraid. I jump at loud noises, I still have nightmares. But it's getting better." Hermione couldn't help herself and she reached out to put a hand on Lisa's knee. Lisa twitched but didn't move.
Hermione tried to change the subject. "Getting the Tattoo must have been difficult. I have heard they are very painful and yours is rather large."
Lisa sobered remembering. "It was, but every time the pain got too difficult, I remembered how much it hurt the first time. But now I could stop or start whenever I wanted to. It was my choice to be in pain and it was cathartic in a way. The pain of the tattoo, took the memory pain away. I find the more control I have over my life, the less afraid I am." She hesitated for a moment. "You've come a long way. Would you like to see it? I'm actually quite proud of it now."
Hermione was hesitant at first. She didn't offer to show hers casually. It was such an intimate thing to share. But then she thought of how much of an honor it was for her to be asked. "Yes, I would like to. If it's all right."