Castiel sighed heavily as he sat in Dean's favorite armchair, staring blankly into the space. Sam and Dean had gone out to hunt, telling the angel he had to stay home and regain his strength. No matter how much Cas argued, their answer remained the same so he gave in and tried to look at it differently. Staying home wasn't so bad. He could… How do humans call it? Oh, yes, he could have fun and relax for a little while. Problems were permanent while peace and tranquility were rare things in his life.
After watching two movies in a row, listening to all the songs suggested by Sam and Dean and exploring the bunker for the 100th time, Cas was left exhausted but somewhat unsatisfied with his day. He felt like something was missing as if he wasn't done with his "fun" yet. He thought about it for a while with a small frown on his face and then sighed. He knew he would regret this but it was worth a try.
The angel placed the object on the nearest table as carefully as he could. It was one of Dean's favorite things so he didn't want to break it and although he didn't really like it, he still decided to be gentle with it.
"I still don't trust you" – He told the object while trying to understand how to make it work – "The fact that I am about to use you doesn't mean I like you. There's still a huge gap between us, just so you know". – He pointed a finger at the thing – "Consider yourself lucky. Dean has a certain fondness for you and that's the only reason you are safe with me. Do you understand?" – Cas scrubbed a hand across his face, realizing how silly he looked. However, once he decided it, he had to do it. No go backs. With one last sigh, he opened the thing only to let out a small gasp of surprise.
A beautiful woman greeted his sight. She was pale with dark black hair, rosy lips and narrow eyes. "Perhaps she's from Asia" He mused. The woman was dressed quite… thinly and she was speaking weirdly, blabbering about the things Cas's mind couldn't comprehend.
"Hello there, handsome" – She said, her voice quite husky. Was she ill? Did she need help? Castiel decided it would be impolite to leave her greeting unanswered so he mumbled a barely audible "hello" in return.
"You are such a big and bad, a very bad boy" – The woman spoke again, lowering her voice which made it sound even stranger than before. Castiel tilted his head in that puppy manner of his, knitting his brows in confusion and offence. Yes, he was hurt and offended. Why was she calling him bad? He had saved the world, hadn't he? Had he done anything wrong and didn't know about it? No, that couldn't be. Sam and Dean would have informed him about it. Then why? Perhaps, this woman didn't know about it all. Most humans had no idea about who the Winchesters were or what they had done for the world. Gathering it all in his mind, Cas decided to defend himself.
"Why are you assuming that I am bad? You don't know me at all, do you?" – He asked, hoping to get a reasonable answer but the woman kept mumbling silly things, obviously testing his patience.
"I think you are hot" – She smiled, giving him a seductive wink. Castiel stifled a small growl of frustration and rolled his eyes, trying to keep calm with all his might.
"My body temperature is completely normal, but thank you for your concern" – The angel told her politely, careful to keep his voice from showing any annoyance.
"Would you like to take off your pants for me?" – The dark-haired beauty continued in a smooth voice, moving her body in a very weird way. Cas had no idea humans could move like that and although he didn't have the slightest idea about what she was doing, the sight wasn't disturbing at all.
"Why? Are they too big for me? Too small? Give me a logical reason, woman!" – He yelled at last, feeling the last ounce of his patience leaving him.
"I really want to see your toy" – The woman whined, a little pout settling on her face.
That's it, he was done. Was she stupid? He was a grown man, not a snotty child. How could she expect him to have a toy? And that too in his pants? Was she insane? Whatever it was, Cas decided to end it once and for all.
"Listen, Miss, I am an adult and as adults don't play with toys, I don't have one and even if I had, I wouldn't hide it in my pants, so stop giving me the references I don't understand!" – He slammed his fist on the table as hard as he could, hoping it would scare the woman and make her stop but she seemed unbothered and in fact started making her strange moves again which looked a lot like dancing but the angel wasn't sure it was an appropriate way of doing that.
"I've had enough. It seems like nothing works with you, so I am leaving and I sincerely hope our paths won't cross ever again. Bye!" – He gritted out and shut the laptop down, closing it with a snap and giving it a long glare before deciding to take it back to Dean's room.
"Stupid computers" He mused on his way to the room "I don't trust them".
And indeed, he didn't.