"(...)from the Edo period to the End of the Millenium, an infinite number of realities were created. All of them different, all of them unique (...)"

(Unknown)

Shinji lifted his cup to his mouth, savoring the bitter black liquid for a moment, before slowly placing it back on the table. He twisted his lips, the unpleasant taste lingering on his tongue.

"Coffee not to you liking?", his friend asked, the humour almost palpable in her words.

"I don't know why I even bought it. I always preferred tea", he replied, closing his eyes and leaning back on the chair with a sigh.

"I think I know why."

He opened one of his eyelids, glancing at her. "Hm, here we go again."

Mari supported her elbows on the table, smirking at his longtime friend. She had tied her long brown hair in a bun to prevent it from falling on her own cup of coffee and rolled up her sleeves so her beige suit wouldn't get dirty with the sauce she had poured over her croissant, the delicacy half forgotten as she stared at Shinji with a glint on her eyes.

"You're scared", she told him, making the man sigh again.

"I'm not scared. It's not about that, and you know it", he replied, lifting a brow. "And what does the coffee have to do with anything?"

"Because you need some pick-me-up before entering the lioness' den. Don't try to deny it, Shinji-kun: I know you like the palm of my hand", she mocked, tracing a finger over the aforementioned palm. Shinji found himself unable to deny her words: it was scary, the scariest thing he had set himself to do ever since Back Then.

For a moment, facing the end of the world seemed easy in comparison.

"How… how was she? When you met her, I mean", he dared to ask. "Does she…?"

"No, she doesn't, unfortunately", Mari told him, pouting in disappointment. "She's the same as always, though: nasty temper, dirty mouth, thinks she's the center of the universe. Ah, and her butt is still cute: I missed that."

"Mari!"

Mari snickered, picking up her lunch and resuming her breakfast. "What? I missed her too, you know! It's been a long time coming", she continued, her mouth stuffed. She chewed the food and swallowed. "And here I thought I would never see her again. Guess the universe can be benevolent sometimes, eh?"

Never had any benevolence twisted Shinji's stomach into a knot, made his palms sweat and his legs shake. Well, maybe some did, but not to such extent.

"Maybe I am a little scared, okay?", he admitted, glaring towards Mari. "How couldn't I be? Back Then, I thought that...that…"

His words trailed off, the man not sure of what to say.

"That it was all over? That you would ride into the sunset like a cowboy and you would never hear of them again?", Mari offered, now focused on the conversation. Her words weren't intended to bite, only nudge him into talking.

"... something like that", he quietly replied.

Years ago, they had met Rei: her small flower shop was something of a secret spot for botanists and gardeners in general. Her quiet but friendly demeanor, along with the care she put into every single plant she owned, had pleased Shinji immensely when he first visited the place, and he had struggled with the urge to hug the girl with all his strength. She had no memory of Back Then, of course, but there was something almost natural in the way they talked, as if they had done it thousands of times before. Perhaps because they did.

She seemed so different, but at the same time it was like nothing had changed. To Shinji, that was enough.

Toji and Kensuke he met back in highschool, the friendship between the three stooges forming as quickly as it did every time. The two still slacked around during class, proving that some things never change, but managed to get good scores all the way to graduation (partially thanks to Ms. Misato's, their substitute teacher, constant smacking of their heads whenever their attention wavered away from the classroom).

"Why can't you two be like Shin-chan? He studies hard, cooks well and is a perfect gentleman! No surprise the girls only look at him!"

"Ms. Misato!"

Kaworu appeared in his life at college: his junior, to Shinji's surprise, as being called 'senpai' by him was not something he ever expected to happen. His ever present friendliness made the two quick friends, even if Shinji could notice the glances the grey haired young man would throw him when he thought he wasn't looking. 'Maybe in another life', some would say, but Shinji knew it wasn't the case.

As the years passed and they grew up, Shinji's mind couldn't help but bring up memories whenever he saw his friends: Kensuke, calm and mature as he remembered from Back Then, the friendly man that had been a supportive figure to her, something that Shinji had come to envy sometimes, at his most introspective and pensive moments. Toji, the responsible and caring man that had started a family of his own along with Hikari, a man that chose the profession of selflessness and of helping others, and the same man who teased him about Sakura's crush on her brother's friend.

Even so, not all things were the same, of course: this time, Hikari had given birth to twins, to Toji's despair and absolute happiness.

And for a long time, Shinji enjoyed the warmth of their friendship, of their camaraderie and their happiness, not once questioning his own fortune.

And not once he had met her. Not a single time.

He questioned himself why, many times over the years. She was German, and in a world without Evangelion, there had been no reason for her to be in Japan: that was the most logical explanation. But the faint memories Shinji had in the back of his mind contradicted that logic: every single time, in every single life, they would meet each other.

Sometimes it hurt.

Sometimes it felt unbearable.

Sometimes they fought, and hated each other.

But sometimes something else happened. His memories of such times were the faintest, but he knew that those memories were the most important of all.

"Why did it take so long?", he suddenly asked, making Mari lift a brow in confusion. "To find her, I mean."

"Well, how would I know she was working at the same company I am, only at a different branch? And that she transferred to Japan only recently?"

Shinji frowned. "That's not what I mean, Mari.

Mari drummed her fingers on the, thinking. "I don't know. She's from Berlin, and without the Evangelions, no reason for her to be here beyond her mother's heritage. There's the matter of distance and, also, it's not like you ever tried", she jabbed, making Shinji embarrassed. "But maybe… maybe there's a reason. An actual reason."

"What do you mean?"

"How long did it take us to find you up there? Back Then?"

Silence reigned on the table, Shinji pondering on her words. Mari dropped a cube of sugar on her coffee, using a small spoon to mix it.

"Do you think that's why?", he asked, his voice low.

"As I said: I don't know", she repeated, like a gentle mother teaching her child something obvious. "But it makes as much sense as everything else, doesn't? The universe has a funny way of working things out, after all."

Seeing that he didn't get her point, she continued:

"You've said it yourself, Shinji: time and time again, it's you and her. Sure, it wasn't always pleasant, but you were always there, and so was she", she explained, a smile now adorning her face. "You don't think there's a reason? You thought this time would be different? Hell, I can't even wrap my head around that stuff most of the time, you're the one who's supposed to be the expert!"

Shinji snorted. "On what?"

"Dunno. Being god for a while? Remembering past lives or some shit like that? Spooky", she snickered and stopped stirring her drink, lifting the cup to her lips. "We came to this world together, Shinji, but I'm just some cute girl with big tits: you're the transdimensional master around here. And if the princess is here again, that's good, isn't it?"

Shinji intertwined his fingers, looking at the table for a while. Mari, patient as ever, waited for his response.

"Do you… remember? The last words I said to her?"

Thank you for telling me you liked me. I liked you too.

Mari smiled, remembering the heartwarming scene she had watched from the sidelines.

"I do, like it was yesterday", she replied, winking at Shinji. "I had never seen her blush like that, let me tell you. That was the moment you stopped being a puppy in my eyes: a very manly thing to say."

"I…", Shinji started, but paused. Mari was not sure why: perhaps the blush comment? "Thank you, but that's not what I mean."

"What is it, then?"

Shinji once again paused to gather his thoughts, licking his lips.

"Those words, those words I said to her: they were supposed to be my goodbye, Mari", he explained, lifting his head and looking at Mari with his puppy expression, something she hadn't seen in a long time. "Back Then, it was supposed to be the last time I would see her. I knew that, I was ready for it."

Shinji thought about her: the deep blue eyes, the perfect face, the pink lips and the fiery mane flowing with the wind. There was a ship: sometimes at the sea, sometimes floating in the air, but there was always a ship. His world was always thrown upside down by her, without fail, and the succession of feelings she brought alongside her.

Anger.

Jealousy.

Warmth.

Rejection.

"Idiot Shinji."

Wet lips over his own.

Resentment.

Longing.

A caress.

The cell shaking as the glass cracked.

A question:

"Do you love me?"

An answer:

No.

Yes.

Fear.

"You won't hurt him! I won't let you!"

Safety.

"How disgusting."

"My Shinji…"

"I'd rather die than to be with you!"

"My idiot Shinji…"

Shinji placed his hands over the table, that table inside a small coffee shop at the ground floor of the building, where people passed by them without a glance as the two discussed matters beyond what any of them could even imagine.

"I am scared, Mari. I really am", he admitted once again, tears forming on his eyes. A broken smile formed on his face as Mari watched the man pour his heart out, and she brought his hand together with her own as he spoke. "But I'm not scared of meeting her…"

"I… I remember, Mari. Everything that we were and everything that we were not. Every time she called me an idiot. Every time she held my hand. Every time she ran away. Every time I ran away."

"Every kiss that we had. Every slap that she gave me. Every time that she cried. Every time that we hurt each other so deeply that we couldn't even look at each other anymore."

"I remember the Over the Rainbow. I remember the Wunder, the look she gave me when you guys rescued me. I remember the Fifteenth, when I did nothing. I remember when we held each other in that balcony, and we stood there for what it felt like ages. I remember when we came back from the sea, once, and for months all she did was beat and abuse me, for something horrible I had done to her."

"I remember our daughter, our beautiful daughter. I remember her smile, the wicked and the sad ones, both so beautiful I couldn't even look away."

"When I promised I would not look at another woman, would not speak to another woman and would not even think of another woman. When she called me an idiot and said that it was impossible, before she kissed me."

The tears ran free on his face, dropping on the table as he squeezed his friend's hand, looking at her with a miserable smile.

"God, I remember everything, Mari", he said, sniffing. "And none of our friends do, not even a single memory of Back Then. Only the both of us do. That's why I'm scared."

"I'm scared because she won't remember anything. Not the bad, not the good, not the horrible things that happened, not everything that we built together. All that pain we suffered, and all the things we went through, just the two of us. None of it. Like it never happened."

He swallowed, rubbing his face with his hands. "And I can't stand that, Mari. I can't look at her and simply pretend that we just met, that we never saw each other, that I never held her hand and told her that I loved her smile, her attitude, her smell, how soft her lips were, how happy she made me, how far she dragged me only so I could stand up again a stand besides her."

"Out of everything that happened to me, to us, in every possible reality… this is the one which hurts the most."

Shinji went silent once again, and Mari watched him for a long time, mulling over his words and confessions. Not a word was said, only two friends looking at each other and feeling empathy between them. Mari sighed: she understood how hard it was… no, actually, she didn't. She had never felt anything close to what Shinji had described to her. To remember everything every version of you did, and remember every time you met the person you love more than anything in the world, only for the other person to forget it all like it never happened.

All the experiences, all the setbacks, all the smiles curses, all the happiness, all the hate. Gone.

But if Shinji really believed that there was nothing he could do, that it hurt too much to even try, to even make an attempt…

Then he hadn't learned anything at all.

Finally, Mari spoke.

"I know, Shinji", she said, her words soft. "But it doesn't matter."

Shinji's eyes widened as he wiped his tears, before his expression turned sour.

"What? Are you kidding me? Have you listened to a wo-"

"You listen now", she demanded, making him close his mouth. He had never seen Mari like that. "It doesn't matter, Shinji. I'm not referring to your memories, or everything that you went through. You are the only one who remembers, and yes: it's a shame she doesn't know."

"But Back Then, at the end of everything, you held my hand and I held yours, and we both promised to see this new world we created with our own eyes. A New Beginning, remember?"

Shinji nodded, lowering his head and listening intently. His nerves had calmed.

"And you said it yourself: this is the end of the road. This is it. No more re-do, no more repetition, no more regrets: this is where we live our lives to the fullest, no fear of tomorrow."

"Mari, I-", he started, but she lifted her hand, shutting him up.

"I know she doesn't remember, Shinji. Don't you think it hurts me too? I spent fourteen years fighting alongside her, and all those memories went away like water down the drain", she continued, a sad smile on her face. "But you know why it doesn't matter? Why i'm sure of it?"

She looked at him expectantly, making him sigh before smiling.

"Why is that, Mari?"

"Because in every world, every time, you two meet each other", she told him. "And you two hurt each other; you scream at each other; you fall in love with each other."

"None of you remembered: all the time you spent together, all the kisses and baby-makings you did together, all the fights you had. And even so, even with no memory of it all, you two always met one another."

She smiled a beaming smile, winking.

"If that's not the universe trying to tell you something, puppy, I don't know what that is", she said, lifting her hand and ruffling his hair. "Let's meet her, Shinji, like you always did."

He kept quiet for a moment, digesting her words. Mari watched that boy- no, that man, the man who had been her friend for long years, ever since everything changed. The man she had seen grow and assert himself, to stand with his head high and say: 'I deserve to live in this world'.

That man wouldn't disappoint her, and Mari was certain of that as soon as she heard Shinji's next words.

"Like it was the first time", said Shinji, closing his eyes and smiling softly. "I… I understand. Thank you, Mari."

Mari lifted herself from her seat and barked out a laughter. "Crikey! That's the Shinji-kun I know! For a moment there, you smelled just like you did Back Then: like a little baby", she told him, snickering. "You know I used to change your diapers, right?"

"Mari."

She lifted her hands, muffling a laughter. "Okay, okay, sorry!", she conceded, now extending a hand towards the man. "Now rise, Shinji-kun: it's time for your interview. Do you feel confident about your professional skills? Remember: you said all that nonsense, but you're the one who wanted a job here."

Shinji's face became red. "I-I know, no need to embarass me. I understood what you meant", he stuttered, but smiled towards Mari. He accepted her hand, clasping with his own.

"Then… shall we?"

When he heard his name being called, Shinji's body shivered slightly. That was it: she was in there, in that office, no more than a few meters away. A part of him simply wanted to bold out of there and never look back, a part that felt reminiscent of a side of himself that existed thousands of times before: weak, pitiful, cowardly.

And like a thousand times before, he gripped his fists and looked upwards, his expression determined.

"I will not run away", he repeated his mantra, and crossed the door's threshold.

The office looked like any he had seen in his entire life: messy, grey and bursting with people in front of computers. The difference was in the details: a few screamed at each other, orders being thrown out here and there, people carrying papers around in a rush, the atmosphere of the place more lively than any business he had ever worked on.

Shinji stood there, watching the place with morbid curiosity for a while, forgetting about his current predicament and situation. He saw Mari in the corner of his vision, but his wandering attention wasn't fully captivated until he heard a loud yell echoing on the place.

"Takeda, where is my coffee?!"

Shinji turned his head, and the world stopped. There she was.

Her red hair was loose, coming down her shoulders like fire burning towards her body. Her face was a snarl, the demand of coffee coming straight from her mouth as she yelled once again towards someone in particular, who it was Shinji did not care. Her soft features, being lit by the white lamps attached to the ceiling, delineating her small nose, her pink lips, her thin face, her porcelain skin that seemed to reflect light itself.

She turned, and looked at him with that frown, the one which made his legs turn to jelly, the frown which gave him so much fear, so much anxiety, so much expectation. Her eyes seemed to shine even more brightly blue than he remembered, and almost if they had locked him in place with their magic as she quickly approached him, her grey suit (similar to his own) ruffling as she moved with a powerful stride.

She opened her mouth, the mouth he missed so much, and her beautiful voice carried these words to him:

"Who the hell are you, idiot? What are you doing here?"

Shinji noticed that his mouth was open and promptly shut it close. He stammered for a moment, trying to choose the right words, chose what was the right thing to say. The fact that she had no idea of who he was stung, yes, but this time he was ready for it.

The only thing he wasn't ready for, as he never was in any of the thousands of timelines he had remembered, was speaking coherent sentences in front of the woman he loved more than anything in any world.

"Uh… I'm, I… I mean-"

Luckily, Mari slipped between them in time, placing a hand on his shoulder as if supporting his very being from being disintegrated.

"Hey, boss! That's the guy I was talking about!", she chuckled, nudging Shinji with an elbow. "The one you're interviewing? Your new assistant?"

The redhead looked at Mari as if the brunette had grown a new head, before her eyes widened and her mouth formed an 'oh'.

"Ah, right", she rubbed her temples, her delicate fingers circling her forehead. "It was today, wasn't it? If only I had… an assistant to remind me", she growled slightly, making Shinji suppress a smirk. As always, being near her was a constant source of fear and excitement.

"Problem solved, boss!", Mari chirped, grabbing Shinji's jaw and lifting it up as if he was some kind of trophy, to Shinji's dismay. "Right in front of you is a puppy of excellent quality, eager to follow every order that comes from your mouth, and even the ones who don't!"

The redhead looked unimpressed, looking at the tall brown haired man from head to toe, judging every centimeter of his body.

"Kind of scrawny. His face looks stupid. His hair is a mess", the woman crossed her arms, twisting her mouth as she criticized him. God, she was wearing red lipstick. How he missed the red lipstick. "Is he really the best you can bring, Makinami?"

"Oh, Boss, you hurt my feelings! Of course I'm sure!", she said as she slapped him in the back, making him jump. "I like my puppies trained, and this one is no different. Give him time and you won't regret it."

"This one? Reliable as they come, Boss", Mari continued, but now with a soft smile adorning her face, throwing a glance towards Shinji. "You two will do very well together: of that I'm sure."

The 'Boss', as Mari referred to the woman, once again scrutinized him with her eyes, staring at her with a pensive frown on her face, judging if Shinji was even worthy of being in her presence. Shinji, on his end, lost himself in that look, not even noticing the dumb smile forming on his face.

"What are you looking at?!", she interrupted his admiring, placing a hand on her hip. "Cat got your tongue or something? Speak up, you idiot! I haven't heard a single word from your mouth: do you want this job or not?"

Shinji swallowed and straightened himself, clearing his throat and hoping he wouldn't say anything stupid.

Oh, who was he kidding? He probably would.

"I-I… I do", he answered, smiling confidently now, a beaming smile that made even the redhead widen eyes in surprise. "What Makinami says is true, ma'am: I'll do everything I can to help you in here, from dusk till dawn and whenever you need me. That's a promise."

The two women stared at him for a moment. Mari threw him a wink that said 'good job', while the redheaded boss kept analyzing him for a long moment, apparently reevaluating him. Finally, a smile adorned her face: it seemed that she considered Shinji a member of the human race after all, not just some maggot she would step on.

"Finally, some dignity from you!", she let out a snort of laughter. "Very well, you will conduct an interview with me at my office, and I'll personally evaluate you. If you disappoint me, you're out: no questions. Got that?", she glared, making Shinji swallow a lump.

"Yes, ma'am", he managed to reply without a stutter. Fourteen years of confidence building and that one particular person threatened to shatter it from her presence alone. Smooth, Shinji. "My name is Shinji Ikari. I'll be in your care."

To his delight, she smiled, one of those dangerous smiles he had always admired in a twisted sense.

"Very well, Shinji Ikari, I'll be expecting great things from you. Ah! I haven't even introduced myself, did I?", she exclaimed, before slightly spreading her legs in some sort of victorious pose and extending her hand towards Shinji, her small hand right inside his reach.

"I'm Asuka Langley. Charmed, huh?"

For a moment, a fleeting moment, Shinji saw her red hair flow with the wind, a yellow dress following in suit as it waved like a flag hugging her small body. Her eyes reflected the sunlight, burning all that stood there with his heat and brightness, and Shinji couldn't help but stare straight at them, those ocean blue eyes full of defiance, hate, love, anger, kindness and strength, those eyes which he learned over many lifetimes to read like an open book, and at the same time hold so many mysteries he could spent eternity solving them.

Those eyes he would freely be blinded by, the red locks like flames he would gladly throw himself into and the defiant smile that he would let devour him without a single thought.

He would do all those things, as long as it was her.

As long as it was her.

He extended his hand and shook her hand, feeling the softness of her fingers that he missed so much, and smiled.

"Likewise."

"(...) but all of those worlds have one unifying rule: in every single one we meet, and we hurt each other.

And in every single one we meet, we invariably fall in love, and connect to each other deeply."

(Unknown)