Something, a pokémon fanfic

«SOMETHING»

Written by ClaudiaDaro, translated by Fox McCloude

A heavy sensation hit her gut in that moment.

Ash hadn't even raised his head to see her. The boy, who usually smiled just for the sake of it now even refused to look at her. Serena tried to ignore this fact, having a blind faith in him, because it was him: Ash, the boy she admired, the personification of the goal she wanted to achieve and, maybe the most significantly sweet of all, the boy she had a crush on since months ago.

Ash was downhearted, that was a fact. He was used —and so was she— to his victories, so having been knocked off his high horse probably hurt even more than expected. He then remained silent and walked away from everyone. Of course, their friends understood he needed some space and said nothing about it when he left.

But Serena was worried.

Ash was not like her. No. He was nothing like her. She'd rather keep her business to herself and solve it alone, but Ash wasn't like that; he was always upbeat and raised everyone else's spirits the same way. Seeing him like this didn't make sense, it wasn't... normal, she thought.

The clock hit another hour and thus she decided to go looking for him, finding him deep into the forest, alone and quiet.

The first encouraging words were said. Him ignoring her was something she tried to bypass altogether. She wanted to show him that she understood.

Of course, Ash wasn't exactly in the mood for pats in the back, let alone from her.

"You don't have a clue how I feel!"

He was brutally direct.

Those words stabbed her directly in the chest. For a moment, she felt her own pupils trembling; Ash had violently stood up and glared directly into her eyes. No matter how sweet and understanding Serena tried to be, he didn't want to hear anybody period, let alone her, who'd never lived a battle like him. She had no idea what it felt, having that adrenaline rushing through his veins until his body ached, and the heavy strain of a defeat that shouldn't have happened, ever.

Serena's own feelings were nothing compared to his. He didn't want to look at her, so he turned his back to her, assuming the situation as finished.

Serena was left speechless. Her initial impression made way to an unusual fear towards him. It wasn't the way he reacted, it wasn't the angry glare he gave at her, not even the fact he yelled at her. No. What really hurt was that she could almost hear Ash's thought: "You can't know how I feel in any way."

"Then tell me about it!" Serena demanded.

Fear made way to a growing anger. He'd hurt her when she just wanted to help him. He didn't know that.

"It's not your business! Leave me alone!"

A new stab into her chest, she wanted desperately that he looked at her. Ash's voice was filled with all those emotions he'd seemingly been repressing behind his aloof expression: Guilt, disappointment, disgust, regret and sorrow. An exhibition of things Ash had never shown since the day they met and set out in a journey together like family.

Serena held back a gasp of disappointment. Instead, she kneeled quietly and gathered snow between her gloved hands. She was in love with Ash, that boy who was always cheery and positive even in the face of hard situation. A perfect ideal to her.

Perfect. Ideal. She couldn't. She just couldn't let it be shattered in front of her eyes, or let someone shatter it, not even himself.

No. No she couldn't. Ash just could not be all that, he couldn't betray the image she'd formed of him. She hated to see this weak yet equally prideful boy in front of her. She felt hurt at seeing that face of defeat. She was disappointed in seeing him not as the positive boy he was. She was shocked to see him not as a leader. But on top of everything, she was hurt to see him give up before the very end.

She felt every part of herself hurting, as she saw how Ash crumbled into an Ash she didn't love. She pressed the compacted snow between her hands, shackled by disappointment.

Serena was not someone who'd enjoy something wrongly done. She was a queen, and she wanted something of equal value.

Unaware of his friend's thoughts, Ash continued to ignore her, almost futilely, as he could perfectly feel she was still behind him. He'd be ready to blow up at her again if she raised her voice again. He was even offended she'd dare to compare a gym battle with one of her performances. But, a part of him internally begged that Serena didn't say anything more; the situation was his and his alone. Was it too much to ask to be left alone?

Ash's hand moved almost immediately when something hit the back of his head, and a wet sensation slid down his neck. He turned to see her, still unaware or in disbelief that the answer to his question was her.

His confused look then met Serena's teary eyes. That only increased his evident puzzlement.

"The Ash I know..."

'Isn't you. You are not him.' The girl's mind was a complete and utter mess, and she let her feelings speak on her behalf. One snowball after another pelted the boy, who still tried to dodge them, unable to process what was going on. The third one hit with a force Ash wouldn't have guessed Serena had, and he fell backwards on the snow, looking at the cloudy sky, as cloudy as his own mind.

"Give me back the real Ash, because you sure aren't him!"

The Ash who lived in her head was a magnet to her, and this one was a repellent. She understood everyone had moments of sadness and sorrow, and Ash could have them too, but the moments of weakness had to be short-lived for this boy. Ash was a human being, but she was subconsciously disgusted to imagine him as one. It wasn't something nice.

Ash did come back to his senses days later. He won his rematch and regained his leader façade, and the high spirits the group needed. His friends gave him their unconditional support, like a family who'd just regained a missing member.

"Thanks, Serena," he said to her with a confident smile, that one she loved so much, and they brought their hands together, showing her some camaraderie along with a silent apology, which she gladly accepted, of course.

"Welcome back."

The usual Ash was amazing and she fell in love with him more every day. Until the end of their journey she stood firm by his side for support, because she knew he needed it to avoid getting weak and feel hopeless.

Serena knew she'd made the right call in looking for him that day, and stop that situation from getting longer than it should have been.

Author's notes (by ClaudiaDaro):

Caprice!Serena surpasses by far Yandere!Serena.

Before you get confused: I'm not trying to make Serena look like a villainess or a yandere. This is an experiment of the difference between an infatuation and a first love. Because, even though both give off the same feeling, there's something that separates them:

In an infatuation, everything's about me. My needs, my illusions, my dreams and feelings. In a first love, it's about both.

I won't give any more explanations so you can make your own conclusions, I just want to prevent Serena from being demonized here, as you can't make any experiments with her without someone insulting you or her. And that's tiresome.

Anyway, thanks for reading. If you see any mistakes, feel free to let me know.

Translator's notes (by Fox McCloude):

Howdy, people! So, to go back to writing activity, I offered to translate a couple drabbles for ClaudiaDaro. I'm usually more of long reads, but she's able to give pretty good ones with fewer words, and I'm a bit envious of that skill of hers, I'd say. Anyway, I found this little take of hers about the (rather controversial) snowball scene in the XY&Z anime pretty good, so I figured I should share it. This interpretation fits nicely with her canon characterization and actually gives her some depth without making her OoC. I'll take note of it for future stories featuring Serena (Amour or otherwise).

Anyway, I have another drabble to post shortly, so stay tuned. See ya!