Ed sat bolt up right in bed with a start the sheets pooling around his waist the graphic images still playing in his head, gasping for breath his body was dripping in sweat, his heart beating so hard he though it was going to burst right out of his rib cage.

All of a sudden a warm body was kneeling behind him, arms wrapping tightly around his chest a head resting gently on his shoulder, and a soft calming voice cutting through the fear and panic whispering in his ear, "That he was okay, that he just needed to slow it down, slow it down and just breath."

Leaning back Ed nodded and did as he was instructed, closing his eyes and steadily getting his emotions under control enough so that he could actually form a coherent answer to the question he had just been asked.

"Accident?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," Ed sighed wiping the sweat out of his eyes, "Yeah … yeah it was, how'd you know?"

"You were shouting like before, and the anniversary is in a few weeks time so it's obvious that it will be in the background at the moment," there was a slight pause, "Wanna talk about it?"

Weighing up his options and reminding himself of the progress they had already made with this Ed began to talk, "I thought I had a handle on it, some form of acceptance," Ed took a long deep breath in an effort to stop his voice from breaking, "But there I was watching the truck coming towards us and not being able to do a damn thing about it, watching in the aftermath of her slipping away. Jesus I have never felt more useless and alone in my life."

"Whoa... wait we've talked about this, you're not to blame," suddenly the voice became a little firmer, "Hey look at me you're not alone anymore, you have me for as long as you want me and this, I told you I'm in this for the long haul."

Turning slightly to look at the person behind him Ed felt a hand touch the side of his face and a thumb gently wipe away the single tear that he hadn't managed to stop from falling.

"You are not to blame, and you know she wouldn't want you punishing yourself like this."

Ed took the hand from his face and placed a kiss against its palm before speaking again, "I know this situation is bizarre and me falling for you is so far out of left field that to begin with it scared me to death, but I want this, I want you, I want this relationship with you more than you could ever know, but I can't help feeling guilty that I survived and she didn't. I should have protected her," Ed desperately replied.

"Eddie, it was an accident pure and simple, a moment in time that now no matter what you cannot change, you barely survived yourself, so you have to live it to the fullest and carry on, believe you survived for a reason, and one of those reasons is Clark."

Ed smiled at the mention of his son's name, he had tried his upmost to keep it together to some degree for the sake of his son during those devastatingly dark days, holding him and reassuring him when he broke down in tears, just standing and taking it when Clark was so mad at the world and everyone in it that the only person he had to scream and shout at was him.

It was only when no one was around to see that Ed would let himself fall to pieces, but someone had seen him at the worse possible time of his life, and from the most surprising source came a offered hand of friendship and support, and had in turn over a year later with some major doubts, apprehension and a whole load of hard work ended up with them sharing his bed in the most intimate way possible.

Ed was brought out of his thoughts by the tugging on his shoulders, "Come on it's late and I know we're off tomorrow, but we still need to try and get some sleep."

Laying back down Eddie slipped his hand into the hand of the person laying next to him and entwined his fingers with theirs giving a gentle squeeze, and in a barely audible voice whispered, "Thank you."

Even though it was dark Ed could hear the person next to him was smiling when they spoke, "You're welcome, glad I can help and I'm sure you'll be returning the favour in time, we've known from the beginning that this is going to be an ongoing element of our relationship, but we'll get though these nights together, I promise."

Ed turned onto his side so he was facing the person next to him, and reaching out he lightly traced his fingers over their stomach, smiling as a sharp intake of breath broke the silence, gradually moving his hand up he stopped to feel the rapidly beating heart beat.

Ed was surprised how quickly he had gotten used to doing this, touching someone's chest and having it be all hard and define muscle instead of soft, he wasn't going to lie this situation had totally freaked him out, but as time had gone on and they had become closer Ed knew that this was good for him, for both of them and that they could be happy and make it work, and with that his final decision had been made.

"It's time we came clean and told Clark," he blurted out with a little more confidence than he felt, "It's time for everyone to know about us."

There were a few minutes of shocked silence before a soft reply was forthcoming, "Eddie are you sure?'

Releasing the breath he didn't even realise he had been holding Ed lent over and made direct eye contact, "Yes Sam I'm sure, I'm terrified but I'm sure," then he crushed his lips against Sam's pushing his tongue inside kissing him like his life depended on it and having Sam return in kind, having to break apart a few minutes later for air.

"When are you thinking of tell him?" Sam hesitantly asked.

"He's back tomorrow, so there'll be no time like the present, and I've waited long enough, and I'm grateful that you have been so patience with me over it but I'm not prepared to run away anymore, this is too important to me ... you're too important to me."

Although Sam was a little apprehensive it gave him a warming feeling of affection that Ed was now ready to take this step, so he just nodded his agreement, "Ok I'll be up and gone before he gets home."

"Ok, yeah that's maybe for the best, but please don't go far cause I know I'm gonna need back up depending how he takes it," Ed countered nervously.

"Hey always, I promised remember?" Sam reassured him.