(A/N I own nothing.
I realized some new content was out and watched all four episodes and the Shanghai movie in one day. Had to write this bc it wouldn't leave my head.
Hope you enjoy!)
I know I'm being reckless. I know you don't approve. I calculated the risk and I'm taking it. You know I'm still a kid and I just… I just need this, okay. They need it, too. Stop thinking of them as weapons and consider them as the sentient beings they are.
Her voice was calm through the voice-mail, but she still felt she was being a bit passive aggressive. Looking at Kaalki she decided she didn't care.
She glanced around her room and made eye contact with most of the Kwamis.
"I don't do this often, but I know some of you will get distracted. So I am ordering you to stay within five meters of my person. Understand?"
They all gave a quick nod.
"Good. Tikki, spots on."
She and a dozen glowing lights raced across the rooftops. She made it to the spot where Chat had planned his romantic dinner and collapsed. She lay on her back amd watched the Kwamis zoom around looking at the city and playing as she pulled out her yoyo to make another call.
"Please tell me you're out tonight and can meet me."
She left it at that. He would come or he wouldn't.
And she would break his heart again.
Would he know how much of her had broken as well?
It felt so good to tell Alya that she was Ladybug. They hadn't even gotten into everything else that had been happening in the mess that was her life, but just having her friend held her as she cried and that friend knowing and understanding what caused those tears was enough for now. The rest could wait.
But Chat Noir couldn't.
He was supposed to be the first, and likely the only, to know.
Bust she messed up.
She didn't regret it, not yet, but she was afraid of his reaction to her confession.
There was no Ladybug without Chat Noir, and there was no partnership without trust.
"Ladybug? Are you alright?"
She turned to look at him and felt the tears displaced on her face.
She hadn't meant for him to find her crying.
Luckily, she had plenty of time to clean herself up as the kwamis swarmed him, happy to see him again and ask how he and Plagg were and generally harass him.
The fifth time she heard them ask about Plagg she waved Chat over and motioned for him to sit.
"LB, what's going on?"
She didn't quite trust her voice to answer so she just maneuvered so they were back to back and leaned on him.
"Mi'Lady?"
"Spots off." She could feel him tense, and Tikki gave her a hard look.
"Isn't this...dangerous?"
"Yeah, but they wanted to see Plagg, and I… Well, I have something to discuss with you."
He hesitated.
"When did we first confess our love for each other?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Ladybug."
"We haven't- We aren't- I mean you- But-"
"Okay. I just… I needed to check."
"Check?"
"You know, that you're you."
She started laughing, and somehow it turned to crying. It was too much. He didn't trust her. This was stupid. Why couldn't she just cry into a pillow and forget the world ar-
A bright green flash of light filled the darkness and she stilled, her eyes landing on Plagg as the Kwamis all cheered at the arrival of their brother.
"Hey, P-" he scowled. "Please don't hurt my kitten, yeah?"
She gave him a watery smile.
"I've got a couple of reasons for asking the two of you to come."
"They're one?" Plagg indicated the Kwamis rushing around the rooftop. Four kept their eyes trained on him.
"Yeah, they missed you. But you and Chat need to talk over if you want to tell the guardian your identity. He… He doesn't trust you, Plagg, and by extension Chat."
"So you advise we don't because he'll try to separate us?" Chat asked.
"Again," Plagg said testily.
"If something happens to me I would like you to be the next Guardian." She felt him shift behind her, undoubtedly wanting to declare nothing would happen to her. "But he knows who I am and would likely have the box immediately." He didn't respond. "So I thought you'd like his contact information so you two can make your own decisions. You said before- You said you'd do as I told you. But I can't make the decision for you. Here," she handed Plagg a scrap of paper with the guardian's number. "He's trying to figure out the modern world."
She could feel Chat's breaths against her back as Plagg passed the note over her head.
"This is all well and good and all, but I'd rather know why you were crying when I got here."
"Right." She could feel herself tremble and he pressed his back into hers a little. Plagg zoomed off to see his siblings.
"I know something has been off for a while. I know you've been hurting. And I know you can't tell me anything that will compromise your identity. But what can I do to help," he pressed.
"You can forgive me," she answered in a broken whisper. "It's the lies. All the lies, all the time. My parents, my friends, my boyfrie-my ex boyfriend. All the time. It makes me sick. And acting as guardian. And just being Ladybug. And school, and projects, and-" She took a breath.
"There's nothing for me to forgive there. We are in exactly the same boat."
"One of my friends," her breath hitched. "One of my friends was, well, acting like you. Being there for me. And I tried to push her away. I tried to push them all away because they almost found the Miracle Box. But she told me, she said 'above everything, I am your friend.' And I- And I told her. I told her Chat, and I'm so sorry."
"Ladyb-"
"This is how it was supposed to be. You and me. Here. No masks. When I finally broke it was supposed to be you. And you were there. You were trying to help me. I just… I just don't know how to tell you this. I don't know how to tell you… How to tell you I'm… I'm-"
"Ladybug. You are Ladybug. And you're not ready to be anyone else to me. You needed someone and your friend… your friend fit the bill. Don't push yourself to do something that will hurt you. Tell me when you're ready. I'll wait for you."
She let out a laugh amid the sobs that had started.
"How do I end up surrounded by such wonderful people?"
"Because you're a wonderful person."
She laughed again and bumped her shoulder into his.
"What about you? How has your life been?"
"Well, I broke up with my girlfriend for exactly the same reason. I was never there and had to lie all the time."
"I'm sorry." She felt him shrug..
"But my father has been acting a bit better recently."
"That's something."
"Yeah." He sighed.
"Chat?"
"Just wishing I could help you with the Miracle Box."
"We do work better as a team," she chuckled.
"It's because humor is one of my top three qualities."
She burst into red-faced, full-bodied laughter.
"Oh my gosh!" she gasped. "Let it go!"
"Sure, sure. When the world ends." He said it jovially, it was a simple joke, but she tensed. "Mi'Lady?"
"Can you promise me something, Chat Noir?"
"Of course."
"Never take off that charm. Never expose yourself to akumatization."
"Of course. What's wrong?"
"I can't do that again."
"Ladybug, I've never been an Akuma."
"Not in this timeline. It's… one of the reasons it's so hard to share my identity with you."
"Because you think I'll be an Akuma. Wait, what other timeline?"
"It's a long story. The timeline got messed up and Bunnix had me fix it and you were Chat Blanc and the world had been destroyed."
She heard choking sounds behind her.
"Excuse me?"
"I… You knew who I was. You called me M- my name. I don't know what happened, but I still have nightmares."
"I will never hurt you."
"But how badly did I hurt you?"
"Ladybug. Don't do that to yourself."
She just sighed and looked at her phone.
"It's getting late."
She felt him nod reluctantly.
"I said I'm willing to wait, and I stand by that, but do you think you'll ever be ready?"
"I hope so. I have got to know what kind of monster calls such awful puns funny."
"Apparently you do." He laughed before calling on his transformation. She followed suit and the Kwamis all visibly deflated, knowing it was time to go home.
Ladybug and Chat Noir stood and faced each other for a moment before she threw her arms around him in a bone crushing hug.
"You'll talk more?"
"Yeah. Thank you Chat Noir."