Six ways to sunday.
Idiom
Meaning: Thoroughly or completely; in every possible way; from every conceivable angle.
Six Ways to Sunday
Chapter One- The door
She wasn't okay. Not even a little bit. A near death experience will do that. But even more damaging was his near-death experience. With shaky hands she toasts champagne with her team, with her family, but she can't still the erratic beating of her heart. With trembling hands she raises the glass to her lips. She manages two sips without the champagne spilling over the sides of the glass. She sets the glass down not wanting to push her luck. She dips her hands into her pockets to hide it's shaking. She sees flashes of him flatlining when she blinks and her mouth dries up making way for a panic attack. Her throat would probably be sore in the morning from the way she screamed and pleaded to get out chamber.
Any longer in the glass contraption and she would have clawed her way to get to him.
Bozer has already lightened the mood challenging Russ saying, "My British accent was more realistic than yours…"
Everyone burst out laughing and starts Russ' tirade about all the reasons Bozer's statement was 'complete rubbish'.
She can barely smirk at all the commotion. She's tired. More so than she's been in a while. Physically she can take on another mission but mentally she's a fragile vase on the edge of a rickety table.
She tries to remind herself that they are both okay but she can't stop thinking about his none responsive body laying before her. The grim way she began imaging life without him...
The way it made her feel empty and hollow. The desperate way she pleaded with him not to leave her. The selfish way she wanted to grab hold of him when he woke up, and keep him for herself. And the sad reality that she couldn't.
"Guys I think I'm gonna call it a night," she said.
Bozer and Mac's head whip around to face her. Bozer begins to talk her out of it and Mac quietly studies her face. Afraid she would get caught, she offers him a small, tight-lipped smile and he returns it with a small squint of his eyes.
"We have too much to celebrate for it to be an early night…you guys just beat death." Bozer recaps like she hadn't just lived through it.
"Exactly Boze, that takes a lot out of a girl." she said. Mac was still studying her but the others seemed to buy into her words and began murmuring their goodbyes.
"Consider tomorrow an off day," Matty said. "Both of you."
Riley and Mac exchange grateful smiles before she stalks out of the room in calm, collected steps. She's intentional because she really wants to bolt for the door at lightning pace.
She's almost in the clear when she hears footsteps behind her, followed by him calling her name.
"Riles, wait up."
She stops in her tracks at the sound of his voice and slowly turns around hoping she can contain herself for a moment longer.
"What's up?" she said.
He shrugs coolly, "Just making sure you're okay. It's been a long day huh?"
She chuckles bitterly, he had no idea how long, "You could say that. I'll be okay. Just need some rest I think."
He nods, pausing to think of his next words carefully. "You may not be up for it tonight but we do have to celebrate. Since we have the day off tomorrow…skeeball and pizza?"
Her palms were covered in a thin sheen of sweat when she stuffs them back into her pockets because she knows what's going to start happening. He's here in front of her, breathing—safe even but she's terrified. Terrified of what almost happened. How she thought he had run out of his nine lives and this was going to be it.
She had worked so hard burying her feelings. For the good of everyone around her. For the good of herself. And she thought she was successful. She had to have been. She was fine. They were fine. But some resultant force had plucked all those feelings out from six feet under. And now, she was right back where she started.
He's still waiting for her answer when her anxiety is done toying with her for the moment. She swallows her fear and nods her head.
"Skeeball and pizza."
He grins and backs away with a pep in his step. It seems his near death experience is having the opposite effect on him. When he disappears down the hall, she continues to the exit.
She takes her hands out of her pockets and watches the trembling subside along with her heartbeat. She knows what it all means. She hates it. She even hates herself a little. Because this can't happen. Not again.
She steps into the humid night air and mumbles to herself, "stupid, fucking, door."
A/N: Writing my own season 6 because we didn't deserve this cancellation. I'll be going back and forth with Mac and Riley's POV so next chapter will be Mac's. I know it's short but there's a method to my madness. Caroline Polachek - Door is a great song to listen with this chapter.