This is a sequel to the story 'Feelings' by Ryu-Amio on DeviantArt. I suggest you read that first.

English isn't my first language, so there could be mistakes here and there. The story is from Donnie's POV.

Contains: angst, reference to tcest, violence, character death.

I don't own any of the characters.

Feelings - The Aftermath

'Michelangelo, Donatello, leave us.'

I'm going to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee, while master Splinter's words ring in my ears.

'…I do not want you witnessing the severity of their punishment. Now go.'

While holding the cup, I realize that my hands are shaking. I want to go to the lab and work on something, anything, to get my mind of things. But the need to stay close to the dojo is stronger.

"Donnie, what's going on? What did Leo and Raph do this time?" Mikey asks as he enters the kitchen.

I ponder for a moment how much to tell him and decide that it's best for him to know the truth. Even if I don' tell the whole story now, he will find out eventually.

"Have you noticed anything unusual in the way they interact with each other lately?" I question.

"Well, the weirdest thing is you asking all those questions about Leo. Why not just ask him yourself? But, I did notice the lack of fighting between those two and that they go who knows where from time to time..." Mikey aswers.

"Exactly," I respond, while ignoring the part about the interrogation. "And then Leo tells me that he went to retrieve Raph after a fight they had, but there was no yelling or anything to suggest that they even fought before. It's like they've reached a mutual decision to leave the lair."

"So, they're getting along all of a sudden?" Mikey asks curiously.

"That's what I wanted to find out by asking all those things about Leo. And, to my amazement, there's always that one person who knows our brother better than any of us, even better than master Splinter."

"Raph?" my younger brother guesses.

"Yes, Raph. But, that's not all..." I pause to gather my thoughts.

Mikey beckons for me to continue.

"I've talked to Leo earlier and pressed him to reveal the truth. What I found out is that... Leo and Raph are actually lovers" I tell him, disgust seeping in my voice at the last word.

Mikey stares at me, mouth agape. "Dude, WHAT!?"

"Yeah, I can't believe it either..."

"And you told master Splinter?" Michelangelo asks in disbelief.

I bow my head. "I did, but I regret it now."

Mikey is silent for a while, then whispers "What do you think will happen to them?"

"I don't know..." I answer honestly. I don't want to think about it, but sensei's angry face and words come to my mind.

'…I do not want you witnessing the severity of their punishment. Now go.'

I shouldn't have gone to master Splinter, but I was too shocked to think clearly. Wasn't I supposed to be the smart one of the group? I should have thought things through before deciding what to do next. I should have talked to Leo more and explained to him how wrong their relationship is. Maybe it's just a phase that will pass in time. I should have paid more attention to their interaction since that incident when Raph beat Leo up. I should have...

"No sensei!"

Leo's cry wakes me from my reverie. What was going on? It was relatively quiet until now. We stare at one another for a second, then run towards the dojo.

"Fool! A ninja never discards his weapon!" I hear our father as we get closer.

We arrive in time to see our leader dragging Raph's body towards the entrance of the dojo. I freeze when my eyes land on our hot-headed brother. His body is covered in bruises and a trail of blood has formed behind him. Leonardo's weapon is laying on the floor; there are spots of red liquid on the blade. Has sensei ordered them to fight each other?

"How dare you!?" Master Splinter draws his blade and approaches Leonardo as he struggles to carry Raphael towards the exit. I keep starring at my brother's broken form.

"This is the last act of defiance you will ever show in this Dojo Leonardo…"

I recover from my stupor and face our father.

"That's enough Sensei!"

"Chill out Splinter!" Mikey demands.

Leo gives us an astonished look as he passes us while carrying Raph.

"What is this?!" Splinter roars and halts as we block his way.

I tell Leo to take Raph out of here. He gives me a grateful smile and runs towards the exit. At the moment, a thought crossed my mind: that I might never see my brothers again.

I push that thought away and focus on the current situation.

"Master Splinter" I begin "please, let them go. They were punished enough."

"Yeah, even if you don't approve of what they do, you can't just kill them! We are a family!" Mikey yells.

"They have brought dishonor to our family with their actions! I will not permit the Hamato Clan name to be defiled! Now, step aside before I finish you as well for siding with them!"

"Please, sensei! If you'll kill us, there will be nothing left of the Hamato Clan!" I try to reason with our angry father.

My younger brother and I stare at our master, both with our weapons raised. Whatever will happen, we will protect our brothers until our dying breath, even from our own father; because that's what brothers do. Unlike sensei, I still consider them family, even if their relationship has evolved into something I can't comprehend. But I am to blame as well for this situation, for I am the one that told our father about their affair.

Master Splinter regards us for a few moments, then lowers his blade.

"Very well," he says. "But you both will be punished for your disobedience. On your knees!"

What followed then were a series of blows with his cane.

A few days later

Five days have passed since the day our two brothers left and I can still feel the pain, both physically and mentally. The blows where harsh, about thirty, I think. We suffered through the whole ordeal and crawled to our rooms after our sensei finished 'disciplining us.' At least he gave us two days to rest before starting training again.

After training I go to my lab and Mikey goes to watch TV, while sensei remains in the dojo to meditate. Meal times are quiet affairs; we thought it best not to mention our brothers' names in front of our master.

I often wonder where Leo and Raph are now. I told our big brother that I know about their hideout, but it isn't entirely true. I assumed that they were meeting somewhere but I don't know where that place is. I hope they are well, wherever they are.

I begin to think about our enemies. What are we going to do next time they will cause chaos in the city? Will we be able to stop them? Just the two, or three of us, in case master Splinter joins us? Will Leo and Raph fight as well, but as a separate team? We each played a role in the group: the leader, the muscle, the wild card, and the brains. The older brothers are the strongest of the bunch, but will they manage on their own? Will any of us manage?

"Hey, bro. Whatcha doin'?"

I take my eyes from the computer screen to glance in Mikey's direction. "Nothing much. Just reading some articles. What about you?" I respond.

"I'm bored! There's not much to do here since, you know…" he pauses and looks sad for a moment, but his eyes lit up as he comes with an idea. "Wanna go out? Maybe visit April?" he asks hopefully.

I look at his smiling face and think that it's not such a bad idea. We haven't seen our human friend for a while, and the fresh air will do us some good. She probably doesn't know that our family has fallen apart, I think to myself. What about Casey? He will want to know as well. He's Raph's friend after all…

"Sure, why not? Let's ask master Splinter first, then call April to see if she's not busy" I answer while giving a tentative smile.

"How could master Splinter do such a thing? Making them fight each other? Then trying to kill them HIMSELF?"

We are at April's house. Casey is here as well. Said person is pacing back and forth across the living room, while April is questioning us about what happened that day.

I groan as I feel a headache coming. "Yes, April. That's what it looked like when we arrived there. But we managed to hold him back to let our brothers escape."

"I can't believe it! To do that to his own sons… and I don't care if their relationship is different, that's no excuse for what he did" April adds.

I grimace but remain quiet.

Casey stops pacing. "Raph must have known that it was gonna happen sooner or later" he says.

"What are you saying dude?" Mikey questions.

"He asked me to help him prepare a room. Never told me what for, but it looked like a home away from home. One day I found Leo there as well. I think they were already together back then and he was preparing for the worst."

I stare at him in surprise. "You know where they are?"

"Really? Casey, that's great! Can you take us there?" my younger brother asks enthusiastically.

"Wait, Mikey... I, don't think they will want us to know where they are..." I say.

My brother gives me an incredulous look. "What!? Why not?"

"Well, they had to leave their home. They have a new place to stay, for now, but what if master Splinter finds them? We didn't exactly part in the best conditions."

"Master Splinter doesn't have to know! We can keep it a secret!"

"Mikey, how good are you at keeping secrets?"

"Much better that you! I don't go knocking at sensei's door when someone tells me something personal! Now they can never return to the lair!"

"Mickey! Donnie didn't mean to do it!" April intervenes.

"It's OK, April. He's right. I shouldn't have gone to master Splinter..."

"Damn right, you shouldn't have!"

"Look, guys. I think Don is right. Maybe we should wait for things to cool off. I can visit them to make sure they're OK and bring them supplies they'll probably need. Maybe master Splinter will regret what he did and will want them to come back eventually."

I'm grateful for Casey's suggestion. Not sure about sensei wanting them to return, but there's no point in thinking about it. "That's a good idea, Casey. We can bring some things from the lair."

"Oh! We can give them movies and games to play! And comics and, do they even have a TV?" asks Mikey.

Casey scratches his head "Eh, the place is kind of bare, but we could arrange something…"

"I can bring some things as well" April speaks.

"Great, when can we bring everything?"

"Tomorrow is fine. The only thing I have to worry about is that it could be too much to carry and I'll probably have to make more than a trip" says the vigilante.

"No problemo, dude. We'll help you. Just tell us where to go and we'll carry the stuff. And if you don't want us to know where Leo's and Raph's hideout is, we can leave it someplace near and we won't ask any questions" Mikey proposes.

"Alright," Casey agrees. "We'll meet here tomorrow evening and I'll give you more details then, OK?"

We all answer in the affirmative.

The next day

I'm in Leo's bedroom, contemplating if it's wise to take the sword that's near the bed.

Mikey is in Raph's room, looking for other things to bring to our brothers, and sensei is meditating in the dojo. We've waited until training was over to start with our plan because we can work undisturbed for at least an hour without our father finding out what we are doing.

So far I've gathered a few blankets, books, pizzas, a medical kit and two T-Phones with chargers. I want to bring their weapons too, but I don't want master Splinter to figure out what we are doing. A while after Leo ran away, he went in here to put the sword back in its place. The twin must be in Leonardo's possession. I finally come to a decision and take the sword.

I go into the other room to find Michelangelo looking at the cover of a magazine and snickering.

"Hey, Donnie! Did you know Raph has a magazine about gardening? Didn't know he was into that."

"Mikey! We don't have time to be fooling around! Just take whatever is important and let's move!"

He signs and puts the magazines on the bed. "You're taking Leo's sword?" he asks when he sees the object in my hand.

"Yes. And the sai. It's better for them to have their weapons back."

"But won't master Splinter notice that they're missing? We aren't taking much, but the weapons are a dead giveaway."

"Leave it to me. I'll think of something before that happens" I reassure him.

"OK, bro. If you say so…" he replies unconvinced.

We hid the objects in the corner of a dark tunnel outside the lair and waited for evening to come. After master Splinter gave us permission to go outside, we collected the stuff and went to April's.

Casey has brought cans of food, bottles of water and a microwave, and April some blankets and a small TV that she didn't need any more, but was still working. We put our things next to theirs and waited for the vigilante to tell us what to do next.

"Alright, guys. I have something to tell you. I went at noon at the hideout to make sure Leo and Raph are still there. Raph isn't in good shape, but he's healing. Leo told me that he had to treat his wounds with whatever he found and was afraid that he wouldn't make it. But he's out of danger now."

We all gasp at the news. Raphael could have died?

I look at the medical kit lying on the table. If only we knew sooner...

"I asked them if it's OK for you guys to visit and they said that they need some time before they allow anyone else to know about the place. Sorry guys." Casey continues.

I expected it, but it still pains me. "That's understandable" I respond.

"Didn't tell them anything about bringing things. I want it to be a surprise."

"OK, dude. Are we ready to go now?" Mikey asks and we all nod.

"We'll take the things that aren't that heavy, for now. The TV and microwave will be the last to carry."

We each take a few items and wait for Casey to lead us.

"Follow me."

A few days later

We've started to sent messages to our brothers after they received their T-Phones.

Firstly, I apologized to Leo for going to master Splinter after finding out about their affair. It took a while for him to reply and I was getting nervous, but he send me a text in which he wrote that he forgives me. I breathed a sigh of relief and asked him how they are doing. He wrote that they are better and thanked us for the gifts. Then he asked about us.

I tell them about the life in the lair. How master Splinter spends more and more time meditating and becoming colder towards us, how Mikey becomes more depressed and only smiles after seeing that he has received a text from them. As for me, I spend more time in the lab than never before.

At one point he asked me if we could go patrolling like we used to, but after Raph is strong enough to venture outside. I gladly accept.

A few weeks later

Mikey and I return to the lair after another reunion with our brothers. We even kicked some bad guys tonight. There haven't been many crimes in town lately, just some Purple Dragons doing ruckus. Raph is completely healed, Mikey is becoming more like his usual self and I am almost content. My relationship with Leo is a little strained but I'm glad that he's still speaking with me.

We used to talk about anything in the past. He would come to my lab with coffee and we would spend a few hours discussing about different topics. I think we got along the best of all the brothers.

And then we started to drift apart from each other.

I say goodnight to Mikey and retire to my room.

"Stupid, Donnie! You are so STUPID!" I yell as I enter the lab. I sit down on a chair and put my head in my hands, trying to refrain from crying.

Earlier I found out that April has started dating Casey. It was about to happen eventually, but I was still clinging to the false hope that she'll like me more. We were gathered at her place when she told us. I smiled like the others, but I could feel my heart breaking. I couldn't wait to get out of there.

"Donnie, are you in here?"

Go away Mikey.

"Bro, what's wrong?" my younger brother asks and comes closer. I don't respond.

"Is it about April?" he guesses.

"Yeah..." I finally answer. "It's stupid, I knew they would end up together..."

"But it still hurts" he answers. I nod.

"Hey, I know just the thing to cheer you up. A movie with fighting robots!"

"I'm not in mood."

"C'mon, dude. You haven't seen this one yet. It has lasers, and missile launchers! It's gonna be awesome! I'll go and make the popcorn" Michelangelo says and leaves without waiting for me to say anything else.

I sigh and get up from my chair. At least it will get my mind off her.

As I enter the hallway, I notice how quiet and dark the lair is. Especially after our brothers' departure.

I flop down on the couch and wait for Mikey to return with the popcorn. As I'm waiting, I'm thinking about our big brothers. Are they content with having only each other? The four of us gather from time to time, but it's not the same as before when we were living under the same roof. Is it really worth loving someone if it causes pain?

For my curiosity, I've been reading articles about marriages between siblings lately. It seems to date from the time of the pharaohs, but back then it was more of a political move. Nowadays it is frowned upon in many parts of the world. But this applies to humans; what about mutants? Animals avoid it whenever they can, but will mate with their kin if there are no other mates available. But we aren't related by blood, aren't living in a human society, and we are males, so no procreation is involved; should we abide by sensei's and the humans' rules in this case? April and Casey don't seem to mind that Leo and Raph are together...

I grimace when I realize that April comes to my mind again.

"Donatello, Michelangelo, I'm sensing that you are hiding something. Do you have anything to tell me?"

We are sitting on the dojo's floor with our heads bowed, afraid to look at our master. It seems that the day I feared has come. I would have to lie to our father and hope that it goes well for us.

"What do you mean, sensei?" I respond after raising my head.

"You keep receiving messages on your phones. I can't help but wonder from who it could be."

"Oh, we just chat with April and Casey, that's all" I answer with conviction.

"Hmph. Aren't you meeting with them often enough to resort to communication on phone?"

"Um, yes sensei, but sometimes it's easier to transmit information through texts."

Master Splinter doesn't look convinced. "That may be so, but how would you explain the disappearance of your brothers' weapons?"

This is it. Look him in the eye and lie. "I gave them to our friends."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I don't see why we should keep them if we don't use them. They wanted to have something to remember them by, so I gave them the weapons."

Sensei just looks at me. "And you gave them the items without my permission?"

"Yes, sensei. I apologize..."

"I don't remember ever being a time when you would throw something out of the lair without consulting me first. Maybe our human friends aren't the ones that received them..."

Stay calm, stay calm. "Sensei?"

"You were keeping in touch with your brothers. You gave them their weapons back, haven't you?"

My hearts starts to beat faster. "No, I gave them to our f-friends..." I stutter.

"Do not lie to me, Donatello! It seems that I was too lenient with your last punishment. I won't be so merciful this time. However, you can redeem yourselves but telling me where they are hiding."

We both begin to tremble. "Master Splinter, w-we don't know where they a-are. They never told us."

"Is that so? Didn't they tell you after so long?"

"N-No, sensei. They haven't" Mikey speaks.

"I don't believe you. Very well, if you won't tell, we can begin with your punishment. Maybe you will start talking after a few blows..."

"NO! Father, please! We swear, we don't know!" I become desperate.

"ENOUGHT! If you can't go through this with dignity, then you are not worthy to be my sons!"

Then the blows began to fall.

A week later

Dark bruises from the last beating can still be seen on our skin. We didn't want everyone to see us like this, but yesterday they needed our help in fighting a gang of Purple Dragons. They've waited until the fight was over to ask us about the bruises. Mikey tried to convince them that we went through another fight with some bad guys before we arrived, but he hasn't succeeded.

'You should run away.'

'You can stay with us' they proposed.

Mikey didn't want to intrude. I didn't want to leave my lab.

Sensei is getting weaker and weaker with each passing day. Until, at some point, he collapses and no longer gets up. I hear Mikey scream my name when he finds Splinter on the kitchen floor, unmoving. I'm searching for a pulse and find none. He is dead. We move the body to the bed in his room. I start making phone calls while Mikey is crying silently.

We bury him at the O'Neil farmhouse. Our brothers and friends are there to pay their respects.

Raphael is still angry with Splinter; Leonardo still believes that he is to blame for what happened. They will return to the lair now that our master is no more.

As I fall asleep, I see him looking at me accusingly. His mouth is moving, but I cannot hear what he is saying. We are in the kitchen and he's pointing to the tea cabinet.

I'm starting to cry. I regret that it has come to this.

Forgive me, father, for poisoning you.