Sunny didn't like his new house much. Living in the city felt exciting to him at first, but it was just too busy. Between the roar of cars on the highway late at night and the absence of stars in the sky, he couldn't feel truly at home. It was almost summer, and he would be returning to Faraway Town for a time soon. He couldn't help but be excited to be returning to his hometown soon.
Sunny was seated on his bed, his CD player quietly humming Hateful of Hollow. Sunny had gotten into music this last year. Not playing, but listening. He had begun amassing a small CD collection. Linkin Park, Blink-182, and Coldplay filled his shelf. It was something that made him happy. On his desk sat a bulky PC, and a small monitor beside it. He didn't use it for much, aside from schoolwork and his own personal writing.
His desk was littered with clutter, but amongst it sat a bright green cactus. Basil had given it to him before he went away, and he promised to take good care of it. Sunny had no intentions of breaking any more promises and he did his research on taking good care of plants. In fact, a hefty book sat on his bookshelf about caring for various kinds of flora. Basil had recommended it of course, and he made sure to read it front to back. Though, some chapters were pretty boring.
On his nightstand was a sketchbook, with various doodles in it. Some serious, some not. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he was getting better art. It proved to be a good escape for him. He still had a hard time being alone and confronting his reality. Drawing provided a safe outlet. A realistic face seemed to peer at him, and he shut the book before standing up. It was 2 AM now. He was still staying up too late. Old habits die hard, he supposed.
His chest felt tense as he saw the time. Being up late always stressed him out, but he couldn't seem to force himself to sleep earlier. He did the only thing that seemed to make him feel better when he got like this; he picked up his Nokia.
(2:33) hi. are you still up?
It was a long shot, but Basil was a few hours behind. It's not impossible Basil was having a late night.
(2:34) I am. Why are you, Sunny? Are you okay?
He was always worried about him. A small smile visited his face for a moment.
(2:34) im okay, sorry to worry you. trouble sleeping is all. you should get some sleep soon too, midnight is late for you.
(2:34) I was about to, don't worry. Are you sure that you're okay?
(2:35) i just wanted to check in is all. hows your new plant?
(2:35) Great! Here, look!
There was a small pause before a barrage of pictures came through. Most were blurry, but a few of them you could make out details, although his room was dark. It looked like a flower had grown out of the plant.
(2:36) It's spring, so it's blooming, as you can probably tell! It's only going to get more flowers as it grows.
(2:36) thats awesome basil. i can't believe it bloomed already.
(2:36) I know! Me neither!
(2:38) :)
Sometimes Sunny didn't know how to keep a conversation going. He hated it; he loved to talk to Basil. He just had a hard time talking over text. He initiated the conversation! Why is he letting it die?
(2:40) Anyway, Sunny. I should be getting to sleep. It was nice talking to you. Please text or call me if you need me, I'm always here. Goodnight!
(2:40) goodnight, basil. thanks for talking to me tonight. :)
Sunny sighed and put his phone down. Took him too long to reply. Regardless, talking to Basil always helped him feel better, though he missed him already.
He didn't talk to his other friends as much. Sometimes Aubrey and Kel would reach out to him, but it felt forced. Maybe it wasn't, but he didn't trust them enough yet. He felt like they hated him.
Secretly, he hoped that they would all keep the promise that they made that day, and never let anything come in between them again. Still… they never could have known just what was coming.
Hero still hasn't contacted him, so he knew for a fact he hated him. That's okay. He deserved it.
His therapist told him he wouldn't deserve it if he was hated, but Sunny didn't buy that. Surely what he did warranted hate.
He started getting therapy shortly after he moved into the city. His mom said that it would be good for him. Most of his time spent out of his house was with his therapist. It took a few different ones, but he finally found one that he felt kind of comfortable with. He didn't tell her too much. She knew the basics of everything, but Sunny mostly just used her to talk about whatever was on his mind. Missing his friends, what Basil told him that day, what he had for dinner. It was kind of like having a friend that was being paid to talk to him.
That's depressing.
He swallowed, his throat felt rough. He needed water. He opened his door, and slowly crept through the house towards his kitchen. Walking through the hall, he came face to face with an old family photo. Just him, his mom, and Mari.
His skin felt cold, just as it always did seeing her.
His mom had known all along. Or, at least had suspected something. She forgave him, and loved him still. She said she had forgiven him a long time ago. Dad was a different story. He missed him. He missed Mewo too; his dad took her away with him. Sunny figured he didn't deserve Mewo anyway. She wouldn't forgive him.
His mom didn't like his dad very much anymore. What happened had completely broken them. Sunny still felt guilty for it, but his mom reassured him it wasn't his fault, and his dad was just an "old douchebag". Her words, not his.
She says if his dad had tried they could have stayed together. Sometimes she admitted that he could have been right about some things. She let Sunny become a hikikomori, while his father wanted him to get out of the house. Sunny appreciated that she let him do that, but understood it maybe wasn't the best for him. Stil, he certainly wasn't in any condition to function in public. He hardly was today.
"Hindsight is 2020", as his mom always says. It's easy to say what's right after it happens. Sunny thinks he turned out okay. At least, okay as possible.
He still hoped he could see his dad again one day. Or maybe he would at least let him see Mewo. He talked to his mom a lot about Mewo. She said that she would see what she could do. Sunny wasn't optimistic. His dad probably didn't trust him.
He took a deep breath, and stepped away from the photo, continuing to his kitchen. It was too late to keep thinking about those things. He was going to spiral. And when he spiraled, he wanted to call Basil, and he could never burden him like that. Sunny would be okay tonight.
He took a glass and filled it from the tap, before beginning his lonely trek back to his room. He kept his eyes glued to his destination, and made it to his room with no distractions. He took a small sip and sat the glass on his nightstand, beside his sketchbook. A pencil rolled off the table and bounced off of the floor with a "clack". He yawned. The day was catching up to him. He pulled his blanket up to his chin, and slowly closed his eyes. He was having trouble sleeping again lately. Nightmares plagued his nights. Because of his bad dreams Basil had sent him a small plush of a dog, and Sunny held onto it tight at night. Basil said it was Hector. Sunny didn't see the resemblance, but he appreciated it nonetheless. Hector still seemed to like him, last he saw anyway. And this tiny version of him definitely liked Sunny, he cuddled him every night.
He had a big day tomorrow. Well, it was a big day for him. His mom wanted him to go shopping to try to find some new clothes, especially since he had a trip coming up. He also had a test to take, the GED in fact.
He didn't want to go back to school, and Basil had told him about the GED, and how he could take a test instead of going to High School. Because of that, he's spent the year on and off preparing. Still, his mom didn't feel comfortable with just that, so she enrolled him in an online school. It wasn't too bad, and he didn't really have to talk to anyone. Except when a teacher made everyone say hi. But that wasn't the worst. He was going to be finishing the school year in a few weeks. He liked learning, and his favorite subject was English. He wanted to write more. He's hoping to go to the community college back by Faraway. As long as Basil goes there anyway.
His eyes shut slowly, almost against his own will. He never feels tired until it hits him all at once. His breathing slows, and his mind starts to drift. Visions of his friends fill his mind, as they do every night. He's going to see them again soon, for better or for worse. He hopes everyone is okay with seeing him. He doesn't want them to hurt him.
Sunny had a hard time finding clothes that he liked, but his mom found some for him. He didn't want to keep wearing the same old vests and shirts he always had. He bought some T-shirts with designs he thought were cool, and some with band logos. Maybe Basil would think that's cool? Sunny didn't really know what was cool. Though he was fairly certain the plain button-ups and khakis his mom picked weren't the coolest.
He did find some black jeans that he liked. His mom thought they were a little "emo", but he thought they were cool. They had small rips above the knees. They were his new favorite.
His mom said that was just him growing up, and he was finding his own style. He didn't have to be "cool", he just had to find things that he liked. She reassured him Basil would like anything that he liked.
While he was out he found a green sweater with flowers on it, which he bought to give to Basil when he saw him. It seemed like something he would like, and Basil always wore sweaters.
He did okay on the test, he passed in the ninetieth percentile, which his mom said was really good. She made him steak for dinner to celebrate. He couldn't believe that he thought she would hate him. It felt like she loved him more every day.
Still, Sunny was back where he seemed to be every night. Sitting alone on his bed, his phone in his hand, contemplating texting Basil. He must be so annoying to him. Today he actually had an update, so he went through with the text.
(12:22) hey! i just wanted to let you know we decided on the day im coming back in town. ill be there in two weeks, the first day of june. im not sure how long im staying yet, my mom says that we'll figure it out. are you still okay with me staying with you and polly, or should i figure something else out?
After Basil's grandmother passed away, Polly chose to stay with Basil as kind of a permanent caretaker. Basil's parents remained absent, so when his grandma died he was left with no one. That was really hard on Basil, Sunny had tried to be there for him as much as he could be while adjusting to his new home. It was lucky that Polly was nice enough to stay with him. Sunny was so grateful to her. His phone buzzed.
(12:24) Of course it's okay! We have a spare room, but you could also sleep on my floor or on the couch or something. Polly said that it's fine! I'm so excited to see you, that's just a little longer!
(12:25) okay, thank you basil! im excited to see you again, ive missed you a lot. texting just isn't the same :(
Sunny liked to use emoticons ever since he learned about them, he made frequent use. Mostly just smiley and frowny faces, but he thought they made his texts a little more expressive.
(12:27) I miss you too, Sunny, it won't be much longer now. I hope you can stay for a while! How did the GED go, by the way?
(12:27) good, i think. i passed anyway. my mom made me steak because of it. i should be able to go to that college now.
(12:27) Have you applied to it? It isn't very hard, and they should still let you in.
(12:28) i havent yet. i wasnt really sure how, i wanted to wait to see you so you could help me.
(12:30) Of course! It isn't hard, I'll get everything all set up for you. Don't you worry about it, Sunny.
(12:30) thank you, basil. you're the best. :D
The smiley face was a lot happier than he really felt, but he liked to think it made Basil happy to see. He didn't like it when Basil worried too much.
Sunny yawned, it was only 12:30 AM, but he was already tired. He had been out a lot that day though, it always took a lot out of him. He would probably be going to bed soon, especially since Basil's spaced-out texts made it seem like he was sleepy as well. He stood up from his bed and began to walk towards his bathroom. He hadn't been brushing his teeth as much as he should be, but he felt motivated today.
He spit the toothpaste out and looked up at himself in the mirror. He'd gained some weight since last summer. He was still skinny, but he didn't look sickly. His face was more full than before. His black hair hung down past his neck. He hadn't gotten a haircut in a while, he should do that before he left. Thick strands of hair fell in front of his eyes, and he could hardly recognize himself anymore. He gazed at his one good eye as it peered through his hair and he felt his heart freeze up. Something was looking at him. He started to shake the more he stared at himself. That wasn't him. He didn't know what that was. He forced himself to turn away from his reflection, and he flicked the light off, before heading back into his room.
(12:37) i dont like seeing myself.
He wasn't sure why he confessed that to Basil. Especially since it was so juxtaposed compared to his last text.
(12:37) What happened, Sunny?
Basil replied immediately. Sunny paused.
(12:38) nothing. i was just looking in the mirror and thought that. its scary.
He looked down at his hands, flipping from the back to his palm.
(12:38) i dont feel real sometimes.
(12:39) I understand that, Sunny. It's normal enough, I experience it anyway. You should try to talk to your therapist about it, I'm sure that he would know how to help. But it's okay if you don't want to, I'm always here to listen to you.
He didn't like to talk to his therapist about things like that, but maybe Basil was right. He would only see him one more time before he left for Faraway town, maybe it wouldn't hurt to try to figure out what's going on.
(12:40) maybe, idk. thank you though. im sorry for bothering you. i think i would rather just talk to you.
(12:40) You're not a bother. I wish you'd talk to me more, Sunny. I worry about you. You can talk to me as much as you'd like.
Basil had enough going on in his life. Sunny knew he must feel much worse than he did every day, but he never talked about it. Sunny should try to make him more.
(12:41) youre a hypocrite you know.
(12:41) I'm okay.
(12:41) i worry about you too. promise youre okay.
(12:42) Only if you do.
(12:42) promise.
(12:42) Promise.
Sunny took a deep breath. He was starting to feel a little bit better.
(12:43) okay. thank you, basil. i think im going to try to get some sleep now. you helped me a lot tonight.
(12:43) Goodnight, Sunny. Sleep well.
It was funny how such a short conversation could help Sunny feel so much better. Basil's promise helped too. Lately, he's been worried about him. Basil does so much for others but he carries so much pain in his heart. Sunny doesn't do enough for him. He hates himself for that.
He lies down again, tucking himself in.
He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the week ahead. He had to reach out to all of his other friends, and let them know he was going to be back in town. He hoped they wouldn't get mad at him.
He stared at his ceiling. Sometimes, when it's pitch black like it is tonight he can see colors and shapes dancing above him. Images of a different world and time. A place that he feels that he's been before, but is always just out of reach. A sense of yearning tugs on his heart as he mourns the world he can't remember. A world full of friends that he has long since abandoned.
He closed his eyes again.
Just two more weeks.