Nathalie hated Caline, okay, maybe hated was the wrong word, they had been best friends for a long time. She was always the crazed one of the group though. When she was pregnant, she insisted it was time for Nathalie and Penny both to get back into the dating scene. Penny and Nathalie were both reluctant to agree at first. Penny had a crush on Jagged Stone and Nathalie one on Gabriel Agreste and Caline knew this. Now they sat at separate tables waiting for their first date of the evening to sit down.
"Ax," he says reaching out to shake Nathalie's hand.
"Your name is Ax?" Nathalie asks and hesitates to take his hand.
"It's Alexander but most people just call me Ax," he admits.
"Nathalie," she introduces herself, "just Nathalie."
"It's great to meet you," he smiles and takes a seat.
"Why Ax? Why not Alex?" Nathalie lets her curiosity get the best of her.
"Alex is plain, a name like Ax sticks with a person more, don't you think?"
"It is certainly an impression," she agrees.
"So what do you do for work?" he asks.
"I work as a PA for fashion designer Gabriel Agreste," Nathalie answers.
"Isn't he the dude that killed his wife?"
"You don't know a thing about him!" Nathalie begins shouting, "he loved her and would never do such a thing! That was a stupid rumor! I can't believe you could believe such a thing!"
"I'm sorry," he immediately says, placing a hand on top of hers, "I won't mention it again."
Nathalie realizes she has the majority of the rented-out restaurant looking at her. Was she just supposed to let him talk about Gabriel like that? Of course not, she couldn't sit by and let that happen.
The rest of the night was boring, much as Nathalie expected, she had meant 15 different men and couldn't tell you a single fact about any of them. She could hardly list all their names.
"Alright everyone, that was the last person you are meeting tonight," the coordinator announced, "we are now going to have some mingle time where you can talk to some potential partners more."
Nathalie looked at Penny who was talking to some guy, who looked almost too similar to Jagged Stone. From his longer dark hair which faded to a lime green and his overall attire which matched the rock star's taste. She wanted to say his name was Victor, she remembers their five minutes because she hadn't even been able to introduce herself, he was talking so much. Rolling her eyes, Nathalie went to leave when a hand on her wrist stopped her.
"Where are you going, Nathalie?" Ax asks.
"I'm going home, I didn't want to come tonight and I don't want to be here now."
"Come on, take my number and we can get to know each other better."
Nathalie hesitates again but hands over her phone so that he can put his number in. He gives his phone to her and she puts her number in.
"I'll text you later, beautiful," he smiles.
Maybe she should blush, maybe she should feel like she's on top of the world because someone likes her, but her mind still lingers on Gabriel.
After some time, she at least thinks she has forgotten about Gabriel, romantically. Her job as a PA always kept her busy, she still does work as Mayura but she makes time for her boyfriend now. They have dates twice a week, usually on Mondays and Thursdays because those days are less busy for Nathalie.
Nathalie, who had become a rather permanent resident of the Agreste mansion, stays in her apartment more often. Ax might as well live there with how often he is over at her place. Even nights they don't go out, Ax is there at her apartment to greet her home from work. Nathalie learns he is a great cook and most times dinner is set out for her. He works at one of the local radio stations and volunteers some time to animal shelters. He really is perfect, Nathalie knows she is lucky as she forces Gabriel further from her mind.
"I love you," he whispers in her ear as they watch the sunset.
Ax had planned a romantic picnic in the park. They ate on top of a hill before watching the sunset. It's beautiful and the moment feels right but the words make Nathalie think twice.
"I love you too," she finally says.
Ax wraps an arm around her and Nathalie leans into his chest. Somebody loves her, it seems impossible because everyone hates how busy she is, it seems impossible because she is blunt and can be cold, but Ax does. She closes her eyes for a moment of relaxation, everything feels right.
"I know you didn't like the whole speed dating scene, but I'm really glad you were there," Ax tells her.
"I am too."
It was perfect, like two puzzle pieces, they just fit. It could work. Nathalie and Ax complemented each other in a way another person hadn't. They brought out the best in one another and accepted their flaws.
When Adrien gets sick, Ax accuses Nathalie of being a liar. Nathalie tries to explain that Adrien is like a son to her and that the sick boy wanted somebody by his side. Ax doesn't care, he wanted Nathalie by his side but instead, she was in the Agreste mansion. Nathalie spends another night in the Agreste mansion, she hopes he gets angry because she has the right to do as she pleases and she wants to take care of Adrien.
Nathalie forgives him when he apologizes for his outburst, what else is she supposed to do? She apologizes for her behavior though she would make the same decision to stay with Adrien one thousand (1,000) times over. She can't break up with him, she can't go back to the way she was before, she can't fall for Gabriel all over again. Ax seems genuine with his apology but says if she wants a son, he is more than happy to give her one of his own. Nathalie explains she doesn't want kids of her own, doesn't want to go through pregnancy, and certainly doesn't want to take all that time off to be a mom. Ax doesn't like this either but lets it go because that's who he was. He was the 'perfect' boyfriend who accepted Nathalie in every way.
Gabriel gets sick two months later. He can barely get out of bed and so Nathalie is more or less in charge. She attends many important meetings with Gabriel's agenda written down. Any spare time she has, she spends in Gabriel's bedroom, making sure he is okay. She doesn't leave the mansion for anything non-work-related.
Nathalie's phone rings night one, she ignores it, she is too tired to talk to anyone else. Waking up, she *almost* regrets not picking it up. She hears the panic in Ax's voicemail and he left too many texts. Nathalie explains the situation and says she won't be home tonight either. Ax pretends to understand but the sentence 'Nathalie is taking care of her boss' doesn't sit right with him.
Ax has enough of it after night three. In the morning he storms up to the manor. Nathalie lets him in, he deserves it. One of the most unprofessional things she had ever done. She still doesn't regret it.
"You have been here for almost four days now! Your boss is a grown man capable of taking care of himself, you shouldn't be here and you shouldn't be spending every night here! You should be at home, at our apartment, with me!"
"He is ill, if you were ill I would take time off to take care of you," Nathalie isn't sure she would, she can't even remember the last time she took the day off but she's already on her tangent so she keeps going, "but you're not! Also, it's my apartment and I can kick you out anytime!"
"I thought I could do this but I can't," Ax finally says.
"What do you mean?" Nathalie asks.
"This! You clearly love him! From day one it's always been about Gabriel Agreste. You defended him when we first met. Every time you tell a story about work, it's always about him. It wouldn't surprise me if you picture him when you tell me that you love me."
"Ax, that's ridiculous, I don't love him, I love you."
"If you did, you would follow me, you would chase me to the apartment and stop me from collecting my stuff and leaving. You won't, I know you, Nathalie, you want to be here with him because he is your world," Ax kisses her cheek, "you were right, I know nothing about him, but you know everything about him. You deserve it, Nathalie, be happy."
Nathalie watches as he leaves, he was right. She barely has an urge to go after him. Maybe she never loved him and maybe she just wanted to be loved. Nathalie looks down at her watch and knows Gabriel will want his afternoon tea now. Ax was right, even after all this time, it's still Gabriel. Nathalie turns around to go to the kitchen and fetches his tea because it's what she does, it's what she will always do.
"Nathalie, what was all the yelling about?" Gabriel asks.
Nathalie's heart stops for a second, how much had he heard?
"It was nothing, sir, just my ex-boyfriend now."
"You broke up with him at work?"
"No, he broke up with me at my workplace."
"What kind of idiot breaks up with a woman like you?"
Nathalie is surprised by that. He could have said a thousand different things, like pointing out how unprofessional the whole scene was, but instead, he asks why someone would break up with her.
"It's hard to love someone who is in love with another person," Nathalie tells him.
It's a statement she knows to be true herself. She doesn't fool herself into thinking Gabriel will ever love her, because with him it's always been about Emilie, it always will be. Nathalie knows she wasn't fair to Ax and that he never had a real chance. She knows the pain with Gabriel and yet she put another person through it.
"You love somebody else?" Gabriel's voice snaps Nathalie out of her thoughts.
"Somebody who loves someone else," Nathalie clarifies.
"Doesn't that hurt? Never being put first?"
"It does, that's why I started dating Ax, it felt nice to be first but it made him feel the same pain I did because I wouldn't put him first."
"Who do you put first?" Gabriel asks.
It's a dreaded question for Nathalie, she doesn't want to lie but at the same time, the truth feels worse to her.
"I- I don't think you would know him," she says settling on that lie.
"You deserve to be happy Nath, you're always here. If I didn't know I would say you're in love with me."
Nathalie's breath hitches and she hopes Gabriel doesn't notice. It almost feels like he knows and he's just trying to get it out of her. She knows it can't possibly be true. She can't let the thought linger though or else she might convince herself that he wants her to confess.
Nathalie leaves his room and Ax's words flooded back into her head. Everything had been about Gabriel just like it always had been in her life. She could probably still catch him and beg him to stay but that's unfair, she knows that. He deserves more than a woman who just wants a distraction.
A month later and even though things have returned to normal, a word which Nathalie hates, everything feels different than how it was before.
"Do you still have that guy on your mind?" Gabriel asks when Nathalie had zoned off.
"The one that will never put me first? Yes."
"Tell me about him? What's so great that you won't give him up?"
"Everything," Nathalie decides, "he is incredible, his blue eyes pierce like steel but it makes my heart stop every time. He is really cold but once you get to know him there is this softer side."
"Have you ever thought about telling him how you feel?"
"I've thought about it, I just don't think he likes me."
"You're never going to know if you don't tell him."
Nathalie wishes it were that easy. Confess your feelings to your boss, super easy.
"If you're not going to tell him I doubt he's worth your time," she hears Gabriel's voice.
"You're worth way more than that," Nathalie mumbles and covers her mouth realizing that she said you and not he.
"Am I now?" Gabriel smirks.
"I-"
"Am I really why Ax broke up with you?"
"Yes, he wasn't happy when I was here for the week taking care of you. He said it went all the way back to our first date when I defended you when he brought up the rumor that you killed Emilie."
"You've always been there for me Nath, haven't you?"
"Of course," loyalty had always been one of Nathalie's more favorable traits.
"Come here then."
Nathalie follows his command, as she almost always does. She steps closer to him, she doesn't know what to expect and that frightens her a little bit, but maybe she is all too used to being unsure. She stands in front of him and refuses to let her nerves show through. She expects to hear the words 'you're fired'.
Instead, Gabriel kisses her and Nathalie swears her heart stops. She doesn't understand why he would do such a thing because she has never been put first. Nathalie can hardly remember the last time she put herself first.
"I promise to put you first more often," Gabriel tells her.
Nathalie knows better. Nathalie knows she should walk out the door like she was originally planning to. She knows where all her things are, she could gather them quickly and go. It doesn't matter what else she knows though because Nathalie knows she will never just like Ax knew she would never leave. At the end of her day, it always comes back to him, the one man she has always put first.
Nathalie hopes for once she doesn't know him. The man she knows would never put her first because everything he did was always for his late wife. Maybe people change and maybe there's a different side she has yet to see. The way Gabriel looks at her though, she knows she's with him because that's the one thing she knows about herself.