Secret Shame

By Spunky0ne

(I know it's a couple of days early, but IT'S NEVER TOO EARLY FOR AIZENMONTH! MUAHAHAAAAAA! Don't worry, there's more Aizen on its way as April ends and Aizen's birthday month arrives. Love to all, Spunky)

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The gentlest of souls is betrayed by the most wicked Shinigami. Who would have thought that the result would be the one soul that can save everyone…M/M, mpreg…Aizen/Tetsuya, Renji/Byakuya, Kisuke/Ichigo

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Chapter 1: No Promises, No Lies

Echoing footsteps sounded in the darkened hallway outside the Central 46 meeting chamber and a moment later, the chamber door creaked open. Aizen Sousuke looked up from the place he occupied, near the slaughtered body of the fallen Grand Councilor that laid on the floor, where he had collapsed after having his throat neatly slit in front of his hypnotized peers. The sages and judges, equally lifeless, slumped in their seats, some with eyes closed and some with the looks of confusion still in their rounded eyes. A number wore looks of complete horror…those the killer had chosen to allow full awareness in the last moments of their lives.

"So, it's time now?" inquired the man in the open doorway, "You're going to make your grand exit?"

"Yes, Gin," Aizen confirmed, "It will take place in two hours. I will need to take care of a loose end first."

"Oh?" Gin mused, smirking, "Do you mean that charming young Kuchiki you've been secretly romancing? Kuchiki Tetsuya, is it? I was getting the feeling that you really liked him…as often as I saw the two of you having sex. Or, was he even aware you were that intimate?"

"Gin," Aizen said in a chiding voice, "Kuchiki Tetsuya is not merely a lovely and charming young man, he may be the most talented healer I have ever encountered, a truly gentle soul whose only reason for ever resorting to violence is in the protection of other's lives. If there is evidence of the noble families having any shred of decency, anything that makes me think even one of them is worth saving, it is that young man."

"Hmm, but he is only half noble, right?" Gin countered.

"Yes," Aizen sighed, "so while his beauty and his power reflects the poison that his noble father poured into his veins, I believe it is the lowly blood of his mother that gave him his heart."

"So, are you going to bring him along with us?" Gin wondered aloud, "Do you think he would come?"

"Tetsuya?" Aizen said wistfully, "No."

He paused for a moment, studying the dead faces of the decaying councilors.

"Tetsuya is too gentle and too loyal to Byakuya…something that made him the perfect source of information, but which also eliminates the possibility that he would agree to join us."

Aizen's calm features hardened and his eyes narrowed.

"In addition to that, he would be a liability, someone close to me who could become a weakness to be exploited."

"Ah, so you are going to send him to the same cold fate as these?" Gin asked, indicating the dead men all around them, "Tell me, Sousuke, will you let him see you as you truly are as you deprive him of his life? Can you really kill him that coldly?"

Aizen let out an amused breath.

"There is no need to be cruel, especially not to him. No, Tetsuya will die as gently as he has lived, happy and looking into the eyes of his lover as his life fades away. I will protect him to the very end. Truly, it is a better fate than seeing him throw himself on a sword for his bastard cousin."

"Ah," Gin chuckled, "though I wonder if Tetsuya would agree with that. Still, are you sure that you wouldn't rather take him as a pretty hostage? You might get lonely out there in the desert, surrounded by only the hollows and me."

Aizen looked at his smirking comrade out of the corner of one brown eye.

"Why, Gin, it sounds as though you might actually want Tetsuya to live," he commented quietly, "You enjoyed watching us? Did you want him for yourself?"

"No, I value my life. I think if I had touched that young man even once…if anyone had dared, the fool in question would have been dead before even kissing him."

"Did I seem so possessive?" Aizen teased.

"Weren't you?" Gin huffed softly, "I think it's probably wise that you're going to kill him. I see now why you've told all of us to follow you, but not to trust you. You are truly the most dangerous man to walk the known worlds, Sousuke."

"Why Gin," Aizen laughed, looking pleased, "thank you for the compliment."

Gin watched solemnly as his fellow traitor walked out of the meeting chamber, leaving him alone with the ghosts of the dead men all around him.

"Maybe it is better for Kuchiki Tetsuya to die tonight," he breathed regretfully, "A good kid like that doesn't need to know how he's been used so badly. It's sad, but I can't save him anyway, not without exposing my true intent…but if it will make you any happier as you die, Tetsuya, I'll be sure that your killer's days are numbered. He will pay for making Rangiku cry…and he will pay for taking your innocent life too."

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How can he be so fucking beautiful, but so damned cold at the same time, Abarai Renji wondered as he followed his taicho out of the first division meeting chamber and the two headed back to the sixth division headquarters, There just has to be something going on in his head, he must be having some doubts…

"Taicho?"

Byakuya continued to walk, not answering right away, keeping the silence between them until Renji was left awkwardly wondering if he hadn't been heard or if he was being purposely ignored. He took a breath and started to clear his throat, but the answer came back, stopping him in his tracks.

"What is it, Renji?"

As much as he had wanted to talk, the suddenness of Byakuya's response threw the redhead off balance and he ran his fingers through the ends of his ponytail, drawing in a shaky breath before going on.

"L-look, I don't mean to pry…"

"But you are going to anyway," the noble said solemnly, "It is in your nature to not just speak your mind, you cannot, at times, seem to contain it."

"Yeah," Renji agreed, blushing at the criticism, but stubbornly refusing to back down, "I just…I'm trying to understand, sir."

"What is it that does not make sense to you?" Byakuya asked, his footsteps stopping, leaving the two standing on one side of the road, under pretty plum tree.

"Well," Renji answered, stiffening at the quiet look of warning in the paler man's steel colored eyes, "Rukia, sir. She's your sister."

"And?"

"Ah, I mean, I know that the charges against her are serious, but think about it! Do you really think that what she's done makes it right for her to be executed?"

"What I think is immaterial," Byakuya said stiffly, "My thoughts and feelings about Rukia and about the charges against her do not change the facts of the situation. You should understand that. Rukia broke the law. She has been judged by Central 46 to be guilty of a serious crime and she has been sentenced for that crime. It is not my place, nor anyone else's to interfere with the carrying out of that sentence."

"But sir! The sentence is not fair!" Renji shouted, "If you really think about, you know…!"

"What I know or do not know still does not change the facts," the noble said sternly, "The enforcement of the law and the carrying out of a criminal's sentence is a crucial part of our society. If we, the noble leaders of the Seireitei, do not follow the law and support its application to our own selves and our families, then how can we expect that anyone else will follow the law? It is not a difficult concept. You are simply allowing your emotions to affect your judgement."

He turned and continued walking, leaving Renji standing with his fists tightly clenched, beneath the plum tree. Byakuya ignored the fact that his fukutaicho had not followed, even feeling slightly relieved.

Perhaps he will go take out his frustrations with his friend at the eleventh.

"Byakuya-sama?" spoke the soft, respectful voice of a blue-eyed noble who seemed to appear from nowhere to stand in the space beside him, "Is there…anything I can do? It seems that was a troubling conversation."

"It does not matter," the Kuchiki leader said flatly, "Renji is a fool whose impetuous nature and lack of self control is only going to get him into trouble. If he does not stop in his rebellious refusal to accept what is right in front of him, he is going to end up on the Sokyoku right next to Rukia!"

The younger man's blue eyes met his cousin's steadily.

"You are worried that Abarai Renji's heartfelt convictions will result in harm coming to him."

It was very clearly not a question and it made Byakuya bristle. With anyone else, he would have given a harsh answer and walked away, but for some reason he couldn't fathom, he couldn't be cruel to this young man.

"Yes, Tetsuya. That is true."

It's a hard admission. It's not easy breaking my promise to Hisana, It's not easy having to hear the pronouncement of Rukia's sentence. Of course I don't want her to die, but there is nothing I can do.

His cousin bit at his lips anxiously for a moment, then drew in a shaky breath.

"If it is your wish, I could use my abilities to just…ensure that…"

"No," Byakuya said in a firm, but oddly gentle tone, "I will not have you take it upon yourself to break the law so that we can circumvent its application to another. That would only be piling up crimes, one upon the other. You must see that, Tetsuya."

"But," the blue-eyed man persisted, "what if there is something we don't know about the situation that could make a difference?"

"I am sorry," Byakuya answered soberly, "The sentence has been laid down. From this point, there is no stopping this from happening. Now, I must go to take care of some things at my headquarters. I will see you at home tonight."

Tetsuya shivered with an urge to object, but instead loosed a frustrated sigh and watched in silence as his cousin continued on his way.

This is wearing on him. He knows it isn't right, but he feels trapped. I cannot interfere in a way that breaks the law…

He blinked slowly, still focused on the direction that Byakuya had gone.

But, I can use my free time to go and see what I can learn…as long as none of my actions are illegal.

While obedient to his cousin, Tetsuya was well aware that he had more freedom to act sometimes than the leader of the greatest of the noble clans, so he let himself fade from view and he turned in the direction of Central 46.

I will just keep to the public areas, outside of the actual grounds. From there, I can see and hear plenty.

Hidden from plain view as long as he wasn't in the direct sunlight, the half-noble followed the street he was on to the end, then turned onto a more rustic pathway that ran around the perimeter of the moated fortress. Concealing himself within the trees, he skirted the edges of the fortress, listening for voices and watching the ebb and flow of traffic moving in and out of the highly protected white building. Nothing seemed to suggest anything worrisome until Tetsuya spotted an elderly councilor from his own clan and moved in closer to watch and listen while he conversed with one of his peers. Although the words exchanged seemed innocent enough, there was something he couldn't quite put his finger on.

Their voices have a strange little echo to them and the men look…odd somehow.

He shifted his position, looking more closely and felt an anxious knot forming in his belly.

Something is not right.

Something…

He nearly jumped out of his skin as a warm, familiar voice sounded.

"Tetsuya?"

His protective waterform shattered and he spun around, surprised at having been spotted, though the fifth division taicho had a way, it seemed, of always being able to sense his presence.

"Sousuke!" he gasped, seeking the other man's welcoming arms and indulging in a long, open-mouthed kiss before pulling back and continuing, "You almost scared the life out of me."

"Well," Aizen chuckled, adjusting his slightly fogged glasses, "I don't know why my presence would startle you this way, though, I know you've said to me that most people don't sense you when you are hiding your presence."

"No," Tetsuya said, calming as his secret lover continued to embrace him, "but you are not like anyone else. I can't seem to even want to hide from you."

"Indeed," Aizen said adoringly, taking the slighter man's face in his hands and gazing raptly down into Tetsuya's lovely blue eyes, "and…you must know that there is nowhere you can go where I cannot find you."

"Well, you certainly found me this time," the half-noble agreed, melting into the elder man's touch as Aizen's warm lips caressed his again.

The fifth division taicho started to whisper the activation command for his zanpakuto, but paused as Tetsuya smiled up at him and squeezed his hand.

"Sousuke," he said more softly, "if we could go somewhere more private, there is…something that I need to tell you. I've been meaning to tell you for a little while, but I was…conflicted."

"Hmm," Aizen mused, his eyes narrowing, "this sounds important. Very well. Come Tetsuya."

The younger man breathed a soft command and their bodies lost their color and solidity. They walked quietly through the forest, heading away from the Central 46 compound, then crossing a small meadow before reaching a quiet cottage on the shore of a misted lake, and surrounded by trees. The elder man produced a key and unlocked the cabin, leading Tetsuya inside. He closed the door behind them and Tetsuya's waterforms faded, leaving them fully exposed…and completely naked.

"I see you leave no illusions as to your desires," Aizen purred, wrapping his arms around the younger man and bringing him down onto his back on a large sofa, "Let me assure you, I intend to fulfill every one, my love!"

His hot mouth assaulted one no less eager and his hands roved over the younger man's body, exciting the already erect, pink nipples, then sliding down his torso and invading his nether region, indulging in a slow, methodical preparation. Tetsuya moaned and arched his back, then pushed his hips upward, pressing into his lover's plundering fingers while he panted hard, pleading softly for more of the erotic stimulation. Aizen's probing fingers rewarded him with deeper strokes and he bit and sucked languidly at the half-noble's smiling lips.

A wanton groan escaped Tetsuya's lips as the elder man's palm pressed gently on one creamy thigh, coaxing his legs apart. He spread them wide, moaning his lover's name as Aizen positioned himself, then buried himself to the hilt in slow, measured thrusts. He waited as Tetsuya shuddered and tightened around him, working to catch his breath, then he kissed the younger man more tenderly, tracing the lines of his comely face.

"Tetsuya."

This is the last time, Aizen thought, gazing down at his writhing lover and falling even more deeply in love with him, I'll wait until he climaxes, until he makes that little gasp and his face lights with the intensity of pleasure.

With anyone else, the thought would have caused a little charge of erotic energy, a powerful twinge in belly and loins as he began to move in hard, deep thrusts. But all he could feel as he thrust into Tetsuya's surrendered body…was regret.

This is why, he thought, closing his eyes and thrusting harder, I let myself fall too far, let myself feel too much and I became too attached to him.

This is just what I warned all of my followers about.

But he couldn't be angry at himself or at the beautiful man beneath him, couldn't manage an objection as Tetsuya shifted suddenly and overthrew him, then crawled on top of him to ride him. As Tetsuya's fingers laced together with his and the half-noble rose and fell on his thrusting member, all Aizen Sousuke could comprehend was how he wanted the moment to go on forever.

I have to turn the tables before he climaxes…have to turn him onto his belly and make sure he is fully under my power before…

I don't want him to feel any pain, don't want him to know what is happening. I want Kuchiki Tetsuya to pass into death, panting out my name and smiling like it's any other night like the ones we've spent together.

Let his dream be neverending.

Aizen heard a little gasp and opened his eyes. Still perched astride his thrusting body, Tetsuya shuddered and panted his name as he gave into the heavy throbs of release. His own body reacted instantly, spurred on by the sight and sounds of their lovemaking. He called out Tetsuya's name, but instead of invoking the power of his nearby zanpakuto, instead of removing the knife he had secreted in the end table drawer and plunging into his lover's pure, unspoiled heart, Aizen Sousuke only reached up to pull Tetsuya to his chest and he held the younger man quietly against a warm shoulder.

"I love you, Sousuke."

A little harsh breath escaped Aizen at the sad thought that struck him.

I wasn't supposed to hear him say it anymore. I was supposed to kill him before he could say it again.

"I love you too, Kuchiki Tetsuya."

His fingers played tenderly in the misbehaving waves of Tetsuya's black hair.

We weren't supposed to reach this sated state together, nor to share these sleepy kisses.

Why couldn't I kill him?

"Sousuke," Tetsuya said, touching his face, "are you all right?"

"I am fine," he lied, capturing Tetsuya's lips in gentle kisses as he tried to imagine how he would kill the young man now, "I am quite content."

"Good," Tetsuya sighed, burrowing into his embrace, "because I need to talk to you about something."

"Ah yes," Aizen said, focusing on his lover again, "You said there was something you needed to tell me."

"Yes," Tetsuya affirmed, "Sousuke, I have kept our affair a secret, as we decided, both for your sake and for mine. I know that you are not ready for any kind of attachment, so I will not ask you for one. I…only think I owe it to you to be honest about this."

"What is it?" Aizen asked curiously.

Tetsuya paused for a moment, gathering his courage before going on.

"You know about my history, both as a former inmate of the illegal noble's prison, Itamigiri and as one of the only remaining descendants of the breeder males born out of the war with the quincies a thousand years ago."

"Yes, I know your family was incarcerated for breaking the rules by mixing noble and common blood. I know that you are a breeder male and that you were pregnant when you were rescued from the prison, although the child was lost shortly after your escape."

Tetsuya bit his lip and nodded.

"I was thought to be infertile, though I have never put that to the test. After losing Naoki, I never thought I could bear loving anyone or trying to have a child again anyway. I don't know why it happened, but when we were together one of these last few times, I conceived."

"You…?"

It isn't possible.

I hypnotized Tetsuya and I ran tests on his body myself.

"Sousuke…"

A quick command to his zanpakuto made Tetsuya's words stopped and left the half-noble lying dazed in is arms. Aizen slipped off of the sofa and leaned over Tetsuya's naked body, extending a hand and sensing as he ran his hand over the younger man's slim, seed splashed abdomen.

He can't be…

But almost immediately, he felt the little distortion, the small presence of a tiny spark of independent life inside his lover.

No.

His hand sought the end table drawer and he yanked it out, grabbing the knife as the contents of the drawer spilled out, onto the floor. His teeth clenched at feeling his hand shake as it wrapped around the handle of the knife. He raised the weapon with every intention of ending the lives of Kuchiki Tetsuya and the yet unnamed child he carried, right then and there.

But then, even while held tightly in the grasp of Kyoka Suigetsu's power, Tetsuya's lips smiled and whispered his name.

"Sousuke."

I can't.

I could if I made myself, but I won't.

Still, I can't leave Tetsuya with anything that will be used against him later. That leaves me only one path.

It was a technique that he usually employed when killing a no longer useful informant.

But it doesn't have to kill him.

He laid a warm hand on Tetsuya's forehead.

"I'm sorry."

Ice seemed to fill his insides as he breathed the words of the incantation…and as the power flowed through him, he watched quietly as Tetsuya stiffened for a moment, then lost consciousness completely.

"It's better this way."

The words feel hollow.

But this is for the best.

Tetsuya will be spared the hurt of knowing how he was used and betrayed by me, and no one will know that the child he carries is mine, so they won't try to end his pregnancy.

Yes…this is really for the best.