I'm starting this out as a one-shot and y'all let me know if it's good enough to turn into a series of one-shots by reviewing and following/favoriting! I might cross-post this on AO3 too.

So this will overlap with all the movies (except maybe the latest Skywalker saga movies because I couldn't be bothered to watch these a second time), Star Wars Rebels, the Jedi Fallen Order game and probably the Mandolorian as well. Nothing major, just a few Easter eggs here and there.

Correct me if I get anything wrong! Despite being a massive fan, my knowledge of the gigantic beast that is the Star Wars universe isn't as extensive as I would like it to be. I've done some research on stormtroopers but Gods there are so many. I'll try to be as correct as possible though.

Quick disclaimer since I am directly quoting dialogue at some point: iz not mein

This is a short one, in which we catch a glimpse of the troopers this story will be about. It's quick and simple, but might expand should this turn into a series. Enjoy!

LS-038

Man, these uniforms were uncomfortable. At least the helmet was a bit more airy than I thought and hid my discomfort from everyone else.

Not that there were a lot of other people around. It was just me and my older brother LS-005. He'd joined first but persuaded me into doing the same, purely to get some job stability. Neither of us necessarily liked this, but we got paid and had a roof over our heads. And we got to travel quite a lot.

One of the downsides was the uniform. Another was the boring jobs and the morons who assigned us to them. It was someone called Agent Kallus this time. He told us to guard this blue-haired child for whatever reason.

Since a child couldn't possibly escape an Imperial Destroyer cell, Five and I had nothing else to do but rate our superiors from idiot to evil.

"No, no, no, the Inquisitor is definitely not as bad as Vader," Five protested. "I heard Vader killed a whole classroom of Jedi kids."

"I haven't heard anything from him since, though," I said. "The Inquisitor has been hunting kids for ages. And he's been successful too."

He huffed. "Maybe he'll come and catch this kid too. Did you hear how mouthy he got with Kallus?"

I had to grin, remembering him calling the ISB agent 'as bright as a binary droid'. "He's creative with his words. I'll give him that."

"I wonder how quickly Agent Kallus will lose his patience with him," Five chuckled. "He's like a four on the villain-meter."

I snorted. "I'd say six, since he gave the order to kill the Lasats."

I'd been a little squeamish to continue my training when I heard about that. It got very real all of a sudden. Only then did I begin to understand just was I'd signed up for. Luckily, I hadn't needed to participate in something like that so far. But I knew it had to happen at some point. I just hoped I had my brother with me when it happened, just in case.

He hummed, shifting uneasily. "Yeah, that had been a fun day. The Emperor is at the top though."

"Obviously. Can he really use lightning?" I asked him. I'd never met the guy in person, but I heard enough about him to know that I was lucky not to have encountered him so far. A politician who basically became the Sith Lord of all Sith Lords? Allow me to shiver. These Jedi or Siths, or whatever they were, had issues and seemed adamant on involving the entire damn galaxy with their drama.

"I think so. Try not to find out, will you?" he replied, turning to me with what I guessed was either a warning glare or a worried frown.

"I'm not big on having my ass barbecued, thanks," I retorted dryly. I did stupid things sometimes so I knew why he asked. "Besides, the chances that we even get on the same ship as him are slim to none. He doesn't look like the kinda dude who likes to mingle."

Five snorted. "What gave you that idea?"

"I don't know," I snickered. "Maybe because he hides his face every time he gives another one of those doom and gloom speeches."

"That's just to cover up his gigantic nose. And it doesn't really work either," Five said with a mischievous laugh. "I could use that thing to propel myself across half the galaxy."

I burst out laughing at the image. "And you tell me not to do anything dumb," I said, giving him a poke with the barrel of my blaster.

"Yeah, because you actually do it."

I just snickered.

"You idiots are in for a world of pain," a young, muffled voice suddenly came out of the cell behind us. What did he call himself again? Jabba?

"Sure, kid," I called back. "Keep quiet."

"Oh, you'd like that wouldn't you? I'm going to keep being annoying, and you bucketheads are gonna be sorry when my uncle, the Emperor, finds out you're keeping me here against my will!"

I exchanged a look with Five.

"I guarantee he'll make a personal-" cough "-example-" another cough. Five quickly opened the door when the coughing actually started to sound like choking.

All I could think about was our asses getting shot into space if the kid was actually dying or something. If he was important...

Five and I hurried into the cell, which we discovered to be empty. Rapid footsteps behind us made us snap around to see that infernal blue-haired kid sneak out from behind the staircase and run up it.

"Bye guys!" he said with almost an illegal amount of pride and mischief in his young voice, and then he closed the cell doors on us.

I looked at Five, wondering what the hell we were supposed to do now.

"I hate that kid," he stated after we spent a full minute processing how stupidly he duped us. Pretending to die? Seriously?

"You opened the door, you tell Kallus," I said immediately.

"No way, he'll kill both of us," he protested vehemently, trying a push at the door but obviously without results.

I looked around as well for anything helpful but a cell was a cell. There was nothing. All we could do was call it in or shoot the door apart.

"Damn," Five breathed, raising his hand to the side of his helmet. "This is Stormtrooper LS-005 reporting to Agent Kallus."

I rubbed a hand over my neck, which was going to be sliced in half soon enough.

"Kallus here," the lightly accented voice answered after a few seconds.

"Sir," Five said, hesitating, "the... the prisoner's gone."

"What?!" Both of us flinched at the angry reply. "I knew the boy would act as bait but I never dreamed the Rebels would be foolish enough to attack a Destroyer," Kallus growled, his voice a bit further away.

I glanced at Five again, who visibly shrunk. Oh boy, here we go.

"How did they get aboard?" Kallus asked aggressively.

"Sir, the Rebels didn't free him. He uhh...," Five replied before he could tell the ISB agent how dumb we were, another voice started talking on the other end. I couldn't hear what they were saying and Kallus didn't say anything anymore either.

"He took that better than I expected," I had the audacity to comment, plopping down on a bench. "So what now?"

"Now," Five sighed, sitting down next to me, "I guess we wait for someone to notice our absence."

"Woo."