The gunshot and the noise of shattered glass was still loud into his ears as he exited the car. His feet touching the ground made him sick to his stomach, knowing that once again he got into Meridian's territory wearing one of their uniforms. He wasn't one of them today, he never actually was; he had always worn an uniform that didn't suit him, he served people that didn't deserve to be served, made horrible things, but now it was different. He might have been wearing their uniform but he was there to defeat them, once for all. His first thought went back to Emily, she had left him in the middle of nowhere to find Nick, which was totally fine for him. He made the mistake to keep things from her, he didn't even know why he did it. He could trust Emily, as she had said she understood him, and he understood her too; he really believed that it was what brought them near, being similar. They both went through hell and back, him emotionally, her also physically, they made bad things, but now they had tried to move on with their lives and he felt so happy with her. Saying he wasn't in love would have been a lie, he had been falling for her since Moldova and once they got back his feelings only grew stronger. He should have told her, he should have just opened his eyes and told her he loved her back, but he was scared. Scared that if she would have known everything about him she would have run away, like everyone else. He wasn't innocent, he had to be honest with himself, he still felt like he was a monster even though he had put a wall around that part of himself. He had told her the worst part of the story and he was now a better person, but there were still a lot of informations to share with her, some of them came up in the car, and she had all reasons to make him step away. He knew she wouldn't have shot him, Emily Byrne was not able to miss a shot, she just wanted to scare him and let him step back.
He looked around, seeing a lot of men in a uniform and some other people dressed normal, they must have been refugees, what was this all about? As he was about to enter the building he spot a man, he recognized him instantly, it was Armstrong. He tried to follow him with his eyes, trying to be natural. A sudden anger raised inside him, he needed to get his revenge. He wouldn't have killed him maybe, but had beaten him up for sure. He felt like the wall he had built up around him disappeared, freeing the monster he always thought he was once again. He got near him, his eyes burning, his hands tight in fists. He saw him disappear under a closed door and he suddenly took control over his body again. What was he doing? He had to act normal otherwise someone would have found out.
He saw one of the guards watching him, suddenly walking away when their eyes met, entering the building. Damn, he was already screwed. He followed him, taking him onto one of the closed doors of was looked like a storage and then hit him in the head. He would have never knew if he had killed him, but that man was out for a while, which was good. He actually didn't even want to know if he had added another name to the list of people he had killed, he had to breathe, and knowing the list might have gotten longer didn't help.
"She is here, we don't really know here but that bitch is here" he heard a man's voice saying as he was walking on the corridor and he slowed down.
"Are you talking about that FBI agent?" the other man asked.
"Yes, the boss said they got her, I guess she is gonna open that mouth or either he will make her" they were talking about Emily.
Suddenly his rage disappeared, if Emily was there it meant she was in danger. He knew she could defend herself, but at the same time if they had somehow captured her and they needed informations they would have tortured her, she wouldn't have talked for sure. He couldn't let them. He couldn't stay there knowing that Emily might have been going through torture again. He saw a knife on one of the boxes laying there, it might have been used to open them due to it's small size, but it was perfect to be hidden into his sleeve. He knew that the armed guards could have just shot him sooner than he could even pull out that knife, but he could use it easier with the non armed ones. A kife was definitely more silent than a gun and he could always stab them in the leg. Once again, he didn't have to kill them to make them step away.
He soon understood that the ones without a gun where just in charge to control some places. He found a corridor with a big room at the end. Entering it he could see tons of plants around, what kind of maniac even built a room to keep plants into a refugee camp? He soon heard a voice, it was her voice. He had to do something. He could clearly hear another man talking, he didn't know who he was and he couldn't see him. When he took a step forward he immediately saw Emily pointing the gun at the man in front of him, but suddenly their eyes locked.
Hurt, sadness, betray, they were all feelings he could read into her eyes, no one of them was positive. He shook his head, he knew what she was thinking about. She had left him the middle of no where and now he was there, still wearing the uniform he put on to save both of them from being captured, but it hadn't been enough. As she furrowed her eyebrows he saw her falling on the ground and his eyes widened in shock. He saw the guard who hit her picking up her unconscious body and heading toward another room.
"Good job, now let's wake her up and make her talk" the tall and slim man said said, cleaning his hands with something that looked like sanitizer.
Once again it was his fault. He tried to hide his shocked eyes and his anger when he told him to follow the other guard toward another room. It took him a few minutes to recollect his thoughts and emotions, standing in front of that closed door with other two guards. He had seen who he assumed was the boss getting into the room with another guard and he couldn't really see what they www doing. The door only had a little window at his eyes height and giving the fact that Emily passed out he assumed they were on the floor.
He had to hold tight the knife hidden in his hand to prevent himself from thinking about whatever they were doing to her; but it only lasted a few minutes. Soon he saw Emily rise on her feet, spotting he head and her opened eyes through the little window. He saw her standing there, saying to that man words that he couldn't hear. She seemed angry, a bit lost, definitely tired and sad. He felt so bad for giving her another burden to carry, she trusted him, she loved him. She must have felt devastated seeing that message on his phone.
Their eyes met and he could see she was even more hurt in seeing him wear that uniform and standing there again. He wanted to kill every guard, take her away, to someplace safe and tell her he was sorry. Could he? There were two guards outside, plus one inside with both Emily and that man, he knew that the man wasn't armed, but the guard inside was. He could kill the man in front of him, take his gun and kill both the other guard and the one inside, but he couldn't kill the man who ruled the whole place, if he had informations they needed him alive. Moreover killing two guards with a gun would have raised suspects and a lot of backups would have come for them.
He saw Emily hitting the man and he gave a command to the guard inside. He couldn't act, he felt so useless, her gaze was killing him inside as he remembered their previous night together. He loved her so much, he wanted to tel her, if something would have happened to her he would have never forgiven himself. She needed to know.
"And find Nick Durand" he said exiting the room.
As soon as his eyes locked with Emily's again he saw all the anger, sadness and broken trust she had. But what made something inside of him click was the other man's hands starting to undress her. He didn't know what the order was, maybe they had to search for some kind of evidence, but he couldn't look anymore. With a sudden movement and without even thinking he stabbed the guard in front of him, once, twice, thrice. As soon as the other guard noticed it was his turn, he left them both in a puddle of blood, looking around. It looked like no one saw him, but he heard some voices, he had to be quick. He took the gun and entered the room. He saw her almost naked, that guy looking into her clothes and touching even more than he should have. He didn't even had time to notice him, he didn't want to shoot, so he just slammed the gun on his head.
Time seemed to slow down, he looked up and met her eyes. What he found on them was just shock, mixed with fear. He couldn't stand her gaze, couldn't stand the fact that he was the reason behind those dilated pupils, far different from the ones he looked into some nights before. He slowly lowered his weapon, putting it on the ground and heading through the door to lock themselves in.
"I know I'm the last person you wanna see, but I swear it's not how it looks like" he talked softly, getting closer to her who was still standing still, slightly trembling, her clothes half opened.
He slowly covered her again, looking at her in the eyes. He knew he had already seen her with definitely less clothes on, but it happened once, they never really talked about it, so he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. She pulled up the zipper of her clothes, looking into her eyes again.
"Then what is it Cal?" she finally talked, her voice shaking.
She was hurt, seeing him there, wearing Meridian clothes made her heart sank. She felt broken. Silent tears started to flow on her face. Was it all real? Was he really involved in all that or not? She hoped he wasn't. That morning when he had asked her about the files she had seriously thought he had slept with her just for that. But then he helped her again, when they reached the place where they kept the bodies there were guards, if he had been one of them he would have just taken her with the help of those people, if he had been one of them he wouldn't have killed the other guards. He might have been right, maybe he was just trying to help her. She never questioned him if Gunnersen was talking about her, or if he had told her the truth, told her where she was or if he had shared informations with his boss.
"I'm here to help you, I killed two guards outside and one here, they're gonna come for us. You should find that man and get as many informations as you can. I guess you left my phone in the car so I can't call anyone, but if you find a way, please call for backups" he gave her the gun on the floor, now they were both armed, but he still had his one lowered toward the floor.
He looked into her watery eyes. He felt his heart break completely She looked so small. He knew she was a strong woman, maybe the stronger he had ever met indefinitely stronger than him. He had always felt small next to her, knowing she survived six whole years of captivity, of torture, carrying the burden of a probably lifetime long post traumatic disorder. He had a scar, but she had more, if he had felt broken through the years he couldn't even imagine how bad she would have felt. She was found over a year before and from what he could see she was pretty great at dealing with whatever crossed her path.
A sudden scream of help brought him back to reality. He looked at Emily, who was now meeting his gaze with wide eyes. Someone had found them, or at least the dead guards. The scream had been far away, so he quickly held his gun tight as she gave him a nod. Exiting the door they were met by at least five guards, they couldn't see all of them.
"Put down you weapon, or we shoot" one of them screamed.
Cal knew they wanted her alive, they couldn't shoot her. Their plan was to get informations, they might have tortured her for sure, but she needed to stay alive in order to talk.
"Then do it, you need me alive and you know it" Emily shouted, suddenly finding her voice again.
One of the guards shot, the bullet ended near her feet, a clear sign that they could have shot if they wanted to. But they knew it was all an act. They entered the room again and they felt the bullets being shot constantly on the corridor.
"Cal come with me, we need to find Elliot so we can leave. I'm calling the backups from there. I had my phone with me but I guess they took it" she suggested.
"I need to take care of something" he answered.
"What do you mean? Cal you need to come with me, they won't shoot me" she explained.
"You're right, they won't shoot you, but they can always shoot me and I need to do something" he said again.
She looked at him confused. What did he have to do? What was more important that saving his own life? He was right though, what if they shot him? Would she have been able to run away and just leave him there? As much as she tried to convince herself that the answer was yes, she knew she couldn't. Deep down inside she wanted to believe Cal was innocent and him not surviving wasn't an option. They needed to talk, she needed to tell him a lot of things, she needed to hear him say a lot of things. He couldn't die.
"Promise me you're gonna run, find Elliot and call for backups, I'll try to join you as fast as I can" he put a hand on her shoulder as he checked for the remaining bullets on his gun.
"What's more important than your own life?" she asked frustrated, she couldn't understand what he had to do.
"Armstrong is here... I saw him" he admitted.
"Cal please... " she understood what he wanted to do, she couldn't let him.
"I need to do it. He ruined my life Emily, I can't- I just can't let him go away without a fight" he explained and she nodded.
Once again, she understood. Just like she couldn't let Laurie go, he couldn't do the same with the person who ruined his life. Maybe he wouldn't have killed him, but she knew the need of facing your biggest nightmare. It might have helped him.
"I have a few bullets. We're gonna face the guard outside this room, then you need to promise me to run as fast as you can. Don't ever look back. How many bullets do you have?" he asked, seeing the fear in her eyes grow.
"Three" she answered sadly after checking.
"Here, take this" he took the gun from her hands and he gave her his one.
"Cal no, they won't shoot me, but they will shoot you. You need this to defend yourself" she tried to give it back to him but he didn't move.
"I'd rather know you're safe while I'm dead than being alive and knowing they got you captured again. You have a son, please, I'm gonna be alright" he hold her hand tight, making her understand he was serious.
She felt her heart stop and her breath stuck in her lungs, he couldn't be serious. She had treated him badly, she had accused him of betraying her, she didn't really think it, but her emotions were just too much and the thoughts in her head were spinning. In that car she didn't have time to figure out if she could trust him, but now she knew he wasn't one of them, or at least she wanted to believe it. Damn she had almost shot him herself!
"Let's go" his words brought her back to reality.
They needed to act, she could hear the hail of bullets stop as he opened the door. They shared a look and she got out first, as they imagined no one shot.
"Put down the weapon" a guard screamed.
Cal tried to get out of the room but one of the guards shot the door. They were definitely trying to separate them... she couldn't let them.
"Emily run, I'll think of something, go call some backups" he told her.
"I'm not leaving you here" she answered sure.
"You will! I can't let them hurt you. Run pease!" he raised his voice, she needed to be safe and if he got out of there he knew they all would have shoot him.
He had three bullets, if she had started to run he was sure they would have gone after her, and he could have shot some of them to save her. If they had been too many he hoped she would have fired too. It was a matter of seconds, he was looking at her and a second later she was opening a fire on the guards. He heard grunts, bullets hitting the iron doors or at least something metallic. He could see the fire in her eyes and soon the noise stopped. No bullets were shot anymore.
"I finished my bullets, I think they are all dead, run before someone else finds us!" she sounded desperate, angry, a mix of emotions in her voice.
"Ok, call for backups and take this" he gave her his gun.
"Cal-" again, he didn't let her finish.
"I have a knife, it's ok. For God's sake Emily listen to me for once and run! Save yourself! I need to go" he almost shouted, unable to control himself anymore, she needed to live.
"Don't you dare getting yourself killed! You and I need to talk, you're not gonna escape that conversation that easily" it came out as a frustrated scream, she could feel the tears starting to form in her eyes as he walked away.
She saw him smile and chuckle, giving her a nod with his head. She needed to go, call for backups, know what this place was about and what Elliot had in mind. She remembered him, she met him in Berlin, but knew about his name just a few hours before, as one of the guards was talking to someone she couldn't quite see. She started to run, letting the motion swipe away the silent tears that were flowing down her face. He needed to stay alive, damn he had given her his gun, twice, just because he thought she wouldn't have been safe, he was out there with only a knife; how could she even doubt about him anymore?
She knew he was searching for revenge. She understood him. Killing Armstrong might have been in his plans but at this point after everything Cal told her about him, she would have killed that man herself too if he had been in front of her.