AN: Hello lovely people!
It's been a while since I've posted anything, and I know I'm a bit late to the party but this is my challenge fic for April. My schedule is a little less busy so hopefully I'll be able to write a bit more in the upcoming weeks! Shout out to all the amazing peeps on Discord, I love you all! 3
Something Just Like This
It was barely past seven in the morning when Teresa Lisbon awoke to the pitter-patter of tiny feet running down the hallway toward her bedroom. Before she had the chance to think, the mattress dipped down next to her.
"Mommy!"
"Good morning, sweetie," she said, rolling over. Patrick Jane was standing in the doorway, wearing a stained apron and an apologetic look. "Someone's up early."
"I tried to stop her from waking you up," Jane said. "But she was too excited. We made pancakes."
Lisbon smiled at her daughter. Mira had just turned five a few months ago, and she was already so smart, just like her dad. She had Jane's strikingly inquisitive eyes, and Lisbon's wavy dark hair.
"Is it time to get up, Mommy? Daddy said I needed to let you sleep, but the pancakes will get cold," Mira explained.
"Your mommy needs all the rest she can get," he said.
"Oh, yeah! I almost forgot." Mira leaned down to press a tiny kiss to her mother's belly. "Good morning, baby."
They hadn't been expecting to have another child after Mira, but life moved in mysterious ways sometimes. Both parents were exceptionally excited, but Mira had been over the moon happy when she found out. Apparently, one of her friends from school had a younger sister, which naturally made her want one too.
Lisbon rubbed her belly, yawning. "The baby kicked me," she said. "She knows her older sister is here."
Jane scooted down the bed so he was at eye level with her stomach. "I love you very much," he said to the baby. Then, a mischievous twinkle shone in his eyes. "But you could give your mom a break from time to time. She works hard enough as it is."
Lisbon laughed then, a full laugh that Jane loved. "The baby doesn't know any better. It's not like they can control it. For now, maybe I should just settle for a nap in the afternoon."
"Naps are very good," Mira said sagely, chestnut curls bouncing as she nodded.
"They are. But it might help if you didn't insist on waking Mommy up so early," Jane joked.
"It's not early!" Mira insisted, standing to jump on the bed. "The big hand is on the three and the little hand is on the seven, so that means it's time to get up!"
Before Mira could get more than a couple of jumps in, Jane swooped in and grabbed her. "Come here, little monkey! No more jumping on the bed." He tickled her, smiling as the little girl laughed and shrieked.
Lisbon lay next to them, still propped up on her arm. She watched the scene in front of her with misty eyes. Damn hormones. She lifted a hand to move the hair out of her eyes, noticing the way the sun glinted off her wedding ring. Married. She married Patrick Jane and had a family with him.
It all felt so natural, although she couldn't explain quite how this could have happened. They used to always be at odds with each other, disagreeing on some situation or another. But now, as she watched him playing with their daughter, she realized just how lucky she was to have him around.
He was such a great father, the best that their kids could ask for.
Lisbon remembered that before Mira was born, he was in a state of constant anxiety. His worries about not being a good dad or not being able to protect their daughter had come back full force, even though they knew Red John was long gone. She would never know what it was like for him to find out he was going to be a father again, but the moment Mira came into the world, it was almost as if a sense of calm washed over him.
Mira was older now, but Lisbon would never forget the look on his face when he held her for the first time. Telling him she was pregnant the second time was a breeze. She had gotten Mira involved, and they baked cupcakes together as the announcement.
Lisbon's attention was grabbed once again as she noticed the giggling had died down, and Mira was whispering conspiratorially to Jane.
"What's going on over there?" Lisbon asked, sitting up.
"Come on, daddy! Don't tell her the secret!" And just like that, Mira was gone, dashing out of the room again.
"She's just full of energy this morning," Jane sighed. "I wish she would take more naps."
"You and me both," Lisbon agreed, laughing. "But I don't mind. She's a great kid."
"She is. And I just know our other little one will be too."
"I can't wait to meet her," Lisbon admitted. "I don't mind being pregnant, but I'm really looking forward to holding her."
"I am too. Mira's going to be a great big sister."
Lisbon nodded. "She already volunteered to help out today."
"Really?"
"Mhmm. She said she wanted to help paint the nursery walls, but I'm not sure if that's a good idea." They had been planning on starting the nursery for a while, but things kept coming up at work and getting in their way.
Most of the furniture was ordered already, but they had to paint the walls before moving anything in. It had been an ongoing debate of how to paint it. Lisbon had wanted gender-neutral colors, but Jane wanted to do a theme. In the end, they decided on a space theme, with a navy blue accent wall. She couldn't quite remember how they came to that decision, but she was certain Jane had talked her into it.
He had already come up with a plan to paint some constellations and planets on the blue wall, and the rest would be gray. Jane was so excited about it, and Lisbon thought it was adorable. He had gotten Mira involved in the planning, and she had helped pick out some of the things that would be going into the room.
"You could just let her paint a little section," Jane suggested. "Something to keep her busy for a while. Besides, I think it's sweet that she wants to help."
"You're right. We can mark out a section for her to paint with colors, and maybe we can put a frame around it when she's done. That way, the baby has something in there that was made by her big sister."
Jane grinned, cupping her cheek and pressing a kiss to her lips. "Now you're thinking creatively," he teased. "But in all seriousness, I think Mira would love that."
She kissed him sweetly, savoring the softness of his lips against hers. "Speaking of Mira, you may want to go check on her. I'll be down in just a few minutes, okay?"
"Sounds good."
With that, he rolled out of bed, readjusting his apron so it was back in place. She watched appreciatively from her place on the bed, listening as he went downstairs to start a pot of tea.
She had been drinking more and more tea ever since she got pregnant again. Having to give up her morning coffee hadn't been fun at first, but it was definitely worth it. And besides, Jane had introduced her to several different kinds of tea that she really liked. Much better than those flowery types that were always laying around the CBI offices.
She looked at her clock, trying to remember what they had done for the nursery the weekend before. Everything seemed slightly fuzzy, a technicolor haze over her. They had ordered the furniture. That's what it was. Even though she wasn't out in the field, she was called in at odd times for work, and used every minute of extra time trying to get the nursery set up.
Stretching and standing up slowly, she made her way over to the closet, searching for an old t-shirt that she wouldn't mind getting paint on. Tugging an old pair of overalls on over it, she fastened the strap over her shoulder and headed downstairs.
"Good morning, love," Jane said, pushing a cup of tea into her hands and returning to his position flipping pancakes.
"Good morning." Mira clung to her leg and Lisbon ruffled her hair. "And good morning to you too!"
Mira beamed. "Daddy said I can help you paint today!"
"He did?"
Jane shrugged. "She asked."
"Well I think that sounds perfect! How about I give you a section of the wall and some colors, and you can paint a picture for your baby sister, okay?"
"Yay!" the little girl cried, throwing her arms around Lisbon. "Thank you, Mommy!"
Before long, Jane called them over to the stove and flipped pancakes on to three plates. Slicing up strawberries, he dumped some on Lisbon and Mira's pancakes, but left his plain. His daughter truly was like her mother, he thought. Even down to the favorite fruit.
Breakfast was a jovial affair, but Lisbon couldn't help but notice something was wrong with Jane. He didn't seem sad or upset, just slightly subdued. It was odd, she hadn't noticed it earlier. He may have been a mentalist, but Lisbon could read him fairly easily.
He made less jokes than usual, picking and stabbing at his pancakes instead of just eating them. They had made a point when Mira was a toddler that they wouldn't argue around her, but this seemed less like a fight and more of just general moodiness.
She was having a hard time recalling exactly what he was like when Red John was still a part of their lives, but if she had to guess, this mood was somewhat familiar.
"Patrick," she said quietly, noticing that Mira wasn't paying attention. "Is everything okay?"
He forced a smile at her. "Everything's fine. Why?"
"You seem sad. Do you want to talk?"
"Teresa, I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me."
Lisbon frowned. "Okay. Just figured I'd make sure. I love you."
He didn't say anything, just cleared their plates and washed up.
"Mira, let's go find you some painting clothes, okay?" Lisbon asked. "I don't want you to get any paint on your new jacket." She led the girl up to her room, rifling through drawers in search of an old shirt. "How about this?"
"It's very pink," Mira said, eyeing it carefully. "I don't wear pink."
"That's not a bad thing, Mira. Pink is a color for everyone."
"It's too girly."
"It isn't too girly. Boys can wear pink too. Besides, this is the only old shirt you have, and if you get paint on it, then it won't be pink anymore."
"Okay. I don't ever see Daddy wear pink though," the girl said, squinting. "If it's a boy color, he should try it."
Lisbon laughed. "You should tell him that. I'm sure he'd do it for you."
As soon as Mira was dressed and Lisbon had braided her hair, they got the cans of paint out of the garage and brought them to the room that would become the nursery. Jane was already there, looking like he was deep in concentration. A carpenter's pencil was tucked behind his ear, and he seemed ready to do some working.
"The paint is all here," Lisbon said cheerfully, stacking the cans in the corner before pouring the contents of one into a tray. "Mira, you can have from the door to the closet to paint, but leave the rest for me and Daddy, okay?"
"Okay," she agreed, pulling out her little set of paints and getting to work.
"Hey," Lisbon said quietly, coming up behind Jane and wrapping her arms around his waist. "Everything okay?"
"Fine," he replied absently, not acknowledging her or hugging back like he usually would.
"Are you sure?"
"Do you want to hear the truth, or the easy answer?" He turned to face her, the seriousness in his eyes taking her by surprise.
He had never given her this option before, not even before they were married. He always chose for her, and it was usually the easy answer. It felt almost like an admittance of trust, but one that carried a serious weight.
"Talk to me," she begged. "Don't shut me out. What's going on?"
"Don't be angry."
"I'm not."
"I was just thinking. I need to go. This isn't fair to you. You deserve a far better man than me, Teresa. And I know that this is all just a way for you to cope with the fact that I won't acknowledge whatever's between us, but it needs to stop. You're only hurting yourself."
"Jane? What are you talking about?"
"This," he waved his hand. "All of it. I'm sorry. You deserve someone better. You deserve to spend your life with someone who isn't hellbent on some sort of revenge quest. You're a good person, Teresa Lisbon. And I'm sorry."
The scenery around her began to go blurry, and she held out a hand to stop it. "No, I don't understand. What are you saying? What's going on?"
"Maybe someday, Teresa. Not now. Not when I'm so close."
And just like that, everything was gone. She was floating in darkness and silence, no more words or childlike giggles. For reasons she couldn't quite explain, Lisbon was suddenly very sad, a lump forming in her throat.
She sat up violently, kicking the covers off of her. Blinking until her eyes were acclimated to the dark, Lisbon sat up in her bed and looked around. The house with the different bedroom was gone. The other side of her queen size bed was undisturbed, as usual. Her clock read 4:38 AM. Padding downstairs to get a glass of water, Lisbon pondered everything that had just happened.
She had dreamed about a family, one with Jane. That hadn't happened before. It was true that they were friends, but she hadn't really given any merit to the idea of them being more than friends and partners. But she had to admit, it was a nice dreamworld to be in, if only for a little while.
Lisbon knew she couldn't have him. He was emotionally repressed, kept his feelings bottled up inside until he couldn't feel them anymore. Not that she was much better. Immediately, Lisbon decided that this dream would have to stay a secret, especially from Jane. She didn't want him knowing about these private thoughts, especially since this one had included him. Dozing off again, Lisbon waited for the sharp buzz of her alarm to pull her out of her swirling thoughts.
That day brought more interesting events, with Jane and Lisbon going to interview Sean Barlow.
She had been paying close attention as always, until Barlow said, "You were lying in bed, thinking of Patrick. You're a little in love with him, eh?"
She froze, not knowing what to say, but almost certain that her silence had confirmed it.
"But he's so secretive and controlling. That's hard, isn't it?"
Lisbon blew out a breath she didn't know she was holding, trying desperately to calm her racing heartbeat. By the time they got out of there, her pulse was back to normal, but her racing thoughts definitely weren't.
"You okay?" Jane asked.
"Oh, I'm fine. You okay?"
"He didn't spook you, did he?"
"Yeah. He didn't spook you?"
Jane didn't answer. "He's a good showman, I'll give him that."
They continued to debate the case, but Lisbon's mind was elsewhere. Desperately, she wished she could return to the life she had in that dream, trying to recall exactly what Jane free of Red John was like. One day, she told herself. Hopefully, one day she would know.