Eren stood in the small shower stall. Leaning against the cold tile as he let the icy spray pelt over heated skin. Today had been difficult one of the other cadet had spilled something on Captain Levi and he went to go change. Eren had been sent to go ask him something. The vivid memory flashed into his mind.
-flashback-
Eren had just knocked on the door.
"come in".
Eren had opened the door to see a completely shirtless Captain standing in front of the dresser. Of course this wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't for the fact that he was harboring the biggest crush on cold and calculated captain. Eren felt his face heat up as he stammered out his question.
"S...sir, Eld was wondering if it would be better to do hand to hand training tomorrow instead of the ODM gear as I use predominantly hand to hand given my titan form."
Levi looks at Eren before approaching which made more heat flood Eren's already red face.
He seemed to be trying to read Eren.
"That is a good idea. Though are you feeling alright? You seem a bit red."
"I...I'm fine sir. I...I'll go inform Eld then."
"Alright".
Eren leave as quickly as he could before his mind could torment him with less appropriate scenarios.
-flashback end-
Eren groans in annoyance, the cold water was doing nothing for his straining erection or the thoughts in his mind. Turning off the water he drys and quickly dress in his night wear. Trying his best to ignore the painful throbbing between his legs. He makes his way down to his cell only to see the Captain sitting on his cot.
Eren was startled and glad he was already holding his towel in front of himself.
"S...sir? Did you need something?"
Levi seemed to stare at Eren making him turn red again under the intense gaze.
He steps forward and Eren instinctively stepped back feeling a bit to much like prey.
"Your still red, are you sure you're not getting sick brat?"
"I...I'm fine. Really. J...just tired."
Levi did not look like he believed him at all but let it go.
"Hand to hand training is going have to wait. Erwin wants me and you go into town for a few days. He is only sending me and you. We will be staying at an Inn."
Eren tried to keep his face black, calm. But even still his blush darkened.
"What for?"
"No clue he wouldn't tell me, just said he needed the two of us out of the HQ for a week. He already made the arrangements."
"R...right ok S...sir".
Levi strolls out and heads up the stairs leaving a now very panicked Eren behind.
"So I heard all that."
Eren turns to see an amused Jean.
"Yeah what of it?"
"Dude...for once I'm not trying to be a dick. It's clear you got feelings for the man. Had no clue you were gay but it is what it is." Eren groans as he sits on his cot and puts his head in his hands.
"Is it really that obvious?"
"The only one who hasn't figured it out is the emotionally stunted captain himself. Honestly there is a bet going on how long it will take you to snap and tell the captain your in love with him and how you'll do it. Armin and Conny thinks you'll tell him when alone in his office in about two weeks. Mikasa and Sasha thinks you'll blurt it out in front of everyone in about a month. Hanji thinks you wont say anything and you'll just kiss him she gave you five days. Erwin thinks you'll probably do a romantic long winded speech. He thinks about two months
"And you?" Eren asked dryly and Jean smirks.
"I think you'll write him a note. One week."
"Do you truly believe me both suicidal and a masochist or something? Really. I'm not going to tell, show or write, him anything about my feelings. I value not being beaten to death thank you".
Jean chuckles at the reaction.
"You never know he could like you too and not know how to show it."
Eren looked at him blankly and Jean shrugs.
"Well you have a week alone with him for whatever reason. Now would be a good time to find out."
"Never going to happen" Eren muttered as Jean walked out leaving Eren to his thoughts.
The next day Eren after a night full of erotic dreams featuring the ever serious captain. He was woken up by said Captain.
"M...morning Captain" Eren mumbled awkwardly as he stands and grabs his clean uniform.
"Brat? Are you hurt?"
"What no why?"
"You were moving around a lot when I came in here, and it looked like mumbling or groaning."
Eren wanted to crawl in a hole and die right at that moment from mortification. Though he knew he would have to give an explanation or something.
"D...don't worry about it. I'm fine. Not in pain."
"Then what was that about?"
"Nothing important honest um I'm going to go shower and such."
Eren rushed out of the room quickly passing the others who just watched with amusement at how red Eren was. Eren showered, another cold shower thanks to his dreams the night before. After he was dressed and ready to go he met the captain in the stables. Eren was unusually quiet and it was actually a bit unnerving to Levi who was use to the constant annoying chatter. Levi could tell Eren had something on his mind. He seemed twice as skittish as normal. Levi watched as Eren got on to the horse and had to fight to keep a neutral expression because damn the brat was hot. The dreams alone were enough drive him insane.
'Wait dreams...Moaning...oh...Was Eren having a sex dream? I wonder about who? He showed no interest in anyone as far as I could tell.'
The travel into town took three hours of painfully awkward silence. Eren refused to even look at the captain whose eyes he could feel burning holes into him. Eren was mildly relieved when they made it to the inn. As the Captain would have to stop staring in order to speak with the check in clerk.
"Commander Erwin called ahead for us." Levi stated dryly.
The check in clerk pales when he sees the infamous Captain Levi and the young Cadet next to him.
"O...oh ...Oh ok...here you are... Room ten."
Eren paled at that and his panicked eyes met the worried clerk. Who gave him a sympathetic look. Seeing the fear in the mans eyes.
Levi stared that the key given for a moment then lead Eren down the hall. Levi stepped into the room first then Eren, Both froze. One bed.
Eren scanned the room and was relieved. There was a small couch on the opposite side of the room from the bed. Eren set his stuff next to the couch.
"Wonder how Erwin managed to screw up" Levi mutter.
'Unless he is trying to win that bet.' Eren thought bitterly.
"Oh well we will make do I suppose."
"So what exactly do we do now?"
"Well what do you typically do when at HQ on your days off."
"Spend time with Armin and Mikasa".
'Take way to many cold showers' Eren added mentally.
"You are awfully quiet today."
"S...sorry sir".
"It's fine, I was wondering if there was something wrong."
"N...No".
"Really it seems like there is."
"I'm fine".
"Right that's believable."
Eren said nothing as he searched the bag he brought for his poetry journal. When a fold square of paper fell to the ground.
Curiously he unfold it and groans in irritation.
Tell Levi.
Eren glares at the simple and neatly written words.
"What's that your glaring at."
"Nothing" Eren huffs and jams the paper into his pocket.
"Sure seems like something brat."
"Nothing that is of any real importance just someone decided to irritate me."
Eren grabs the book he was looking for and sits down opening to a clean sheet.
"What's with the book?"
"poetry book."
"I didn't know you read poetry."
Eren looked up at pulls out a pencil from the bag. Before looking back down at the blank paper and starting to write.
"Oh you write it?"
"Yes".
"Can I read some?"
"I...I guess...I'm not very good at it though".
Eren shifts uncomfortably as his finishes the small poem before closing the book and directing more attention to the watching Captain.
"I mostly do it because sometimes its a good way to vent without ever saying anything. You can get out complex feelings in an abstract manor."
"Odd you never seemed to have issues blurting out feeling."
"No Captain you are wrong. You and everyone only see the surface, the things I allow to be seen. My rage and hatred for the titans and the walls they force us to hide behind. Sadness when a comrade is lost. Happiness around friends. They are the surface. There in the moment reactions. That are expected and understood. But that doesn't mean my thoughts and the feeling that come with them. Or the reactions I sometimes hide in some moments are as simple. Sometimes its even hard for me to fully understand. So I vent this way. Writing poetry."
Levi started a bit shocked at the deep words from the brat. He had to admit he was a bit curious. Which Eren apparently could tell as he holds out the small book
"You can try to decipher the deeper meanings to the simple words. But much like a person. It is not always easy."
Eren lays down on the couch as Levi opens the book to the first page.
Winding, twisting, turning,
the muffled sound of chaos,
Under the crashing waves of the mind,
The echoes of war,
Burning, straining, pushing,
Marching forward.
ignore the pieces of you,
left on the fields
With the echoes of war,
Slicing, ripping, falling,
Wondering if the time has come,
trying to remember who you are,
Man or monster,
Alive or dead,
Is there a difference
in the echoes of war?
Levi reread the somber poem feel pain in his heart at the poem.
"The first one, can you tell?"
"Its about when we are on mission."
"Yes The first part is me in titan form. That's how the world is to me. Muffled as if trapped underwater. Unable to breach the surface. The second verse is everyone that dies and falls to the titans taking a small piece of the soul of those left alive. With the only goal we have is to continue on. To march forward."
"And the third?"
"My thoughts when I'm human, after I'm ripped free from the titan body. Sometimes at random through out the day."
Levi could understand that he supposed but his heart pained at the mental toll this was taking on Eren. He flips to the next one.
seems like eternity,
when I saw you last,
we left it on weak terms,
I told you I wanted to fight,
you told me to leave it for the strong,
Seems like eternity now,
since we tried to pull you out,
Still hear your voice echoing,
I couldn't save you,
He told me to,
leave it for the strong,
It seems like eternity,
Since I made my vow,
Can you be proud of me now?
Levi felt ill and he felt his eyes sting with unshed tears.
"This one..."
"I suppose the story behind that one is long. I was ten. Having just gotten back from collecting fire wood. Mikasa had told mom that I wanted to join the survey corp. We had a fight and I ran out and yelling. Yes I was a rage filled brat back then too. Me, Mikasa and Armin were near the gate when it was kicked in. Chucks of stone flying, Screaming running to the evacuation point. But all I could think about was my mom, How she was alone and how I needed to get to her. I remember praying with everything in me that she would be ok. But when I turned the corner to where our house once stood. Wreckage was all that was left. Mom was still alive but... she was pinned under the beams of the house. Her legs were broken but even still me and Mikasa tried. Tried to get her out. She was telling us to run. It was when a garasion soldier, Hanson, I snapped at earlier for being lazy arrived. A friend of the family and had pulled my ass out of fights more then I could count. There was a titan coming, he was terrified and on my mothers order took me and Mikasa and ran. I struggled and fought to get back to her to save her but. The titan took her. Ripped her apart in front of me.
Hanson told me I was to weak to save her, and so was he. It was that day I made my vow, swore to destroy them. I still think about her even now."
Levi had no idea that Eren had witnessed that trauma at such a young age. He flips to the next page wanting to learn more about the one who always seemed so chipper.
Lost and cold,
can't see the sky,
made a wrong turn,
got buried underground,
So many trapped,
a man surrounded,
A girl on the ground,
Shouting and screaming,
bottles flying,
small streams of blood across tan skin,
I just wanted to help,
Chasing me around,
bloody drops falling to the earth,
But the sunlight pushed them back,
Wondering still,
are they alright,
Will I remember after the bleeding stops?
Levi's eyes widened in shock jerking to Erens knowing ones.
"Perhaps I should explain that one".
"Yes".
"I was about hm...five, Before I saved Mikasa, I use to explore a lot, I was an adventurous type. I had found a small barely noticeable tunnel just barely big enough for me to crawl through. So I did and ended up in the underground, I was exploring the area, I was upset and confused as why that sort of place existed. It was then, down one of the many streets I saw, A man standing protectively over a red headed girl who laied wounded on the ground. The man stood out to me because even though he was surrounded by much bigger and honestly disgusting looked men. Still stood ready to fight. So I threw bottles and such, anything I could to hit the ass holes to get their focus off the two. It worked but it also resulted in a bottle being thrown back at me shattering and cutting my head open. Once I had their attention I ran, trying to lead them away. They almost grabbed me but I managed to crawl deep enough back into the tunnel that they couldn't reach me. When I made it home, Dad wondered what happened and I said I fell. He was worried about a concussion and even if I'd have memory loss."
"So you were the brat that saved my ass back then. How ironic. The woman, her name was Isabel, she was like a little sister to me, The men you threw the bottles at, they had tried to attack her. They knocked her out but I managed to prevent them from taking her. I was massively out numbered. I was nineteen at that time."
Eren gave a small smile as Levi flips to the final filled out page.
Fear, Desire
Never speak,
not a word,
the truth can't be spoken,
fear of the pain,
my only salvation,
Can't risk it all,
Love and loyalty,
Its a crazy fantasy,
drive me crazy,
the monster inside,
wont let me say a word,
I maybe lonely,
My heart maybe breaking,
but I wont make a sound,
because I love you,
I can't let you know,
I'm just a monster,
Your just a man,
Maybe in another life,
Maybe then you could understand.
cause I know I can't have you,
I know you wouldn't want me anyway.
Levi blinked and reread it.
'Eren is in love with a man, but wont tell him because he believes the man wont want him, because of his titan shifting abilities? But who is it?'
"Who?"
"Hm?"
"This poem who are you speaking to?"
Barry turns bright red and turns away from the captain.
"Not important Captain."
"Fine don't tell me but for the love of god stop calling yourself a monster brat. You are not a monster".
Eren didn't look like he believe him and that was frustrating the hell out of Levi. How could he make this damn brat see that he was not in fact a monster.
Eren and Levi fell silent after Eren took the book back and put it in his bag. Levi and Eren decide to spend the day cleaning to pass time and so Levi could be comfortable. When night fell Eren slipped into the shower where he yet again took a long cold shower before getting ready for bed.
When he stepped out he noticed Captain Levi staring at him again.
"What?"
"Took a really long shower there brat."
"Don't worry there is plenty of hot water."
Eren strolls over to the couch as Levi steps into the bathroom. It was then he noticed it.
'why is the water temp set to ice cold?'
Levi fixed the temperature and showers quickly. Before walking out in only a pair of loose fit pajama pants. He felt eyes on him and turned to see Eren looking away from him, his face bright red. He rose an eyebrow at that but said nothing, Well until he noticed that Eren was planning to sleep on the couch.
'His he that scared of me? Or does he think I mind him being in the bed?'
Levi strolls over to where Eren was laid out and picked him up. Startling him and grab onto him to avoid being dropped.
"C...Captain?"
Levi dumps the younger man on the bed.
"The bed is big enough for the two of us, Neither of us really take up much space."
"T...that's not really the p...problem Captain Levi".
"Then why were you tying to sleep on the couch?"
"B...Because I move around a lot in my sleep. I don't want to accidently hit or kick you or something."
Levi raised and eyebrow at Eren.
"Its fine brat just go to sleep."
Eren sighs but doesn't argue as they lay down to sleep. After Eren had fully fallen asleep Levi was barely dozing off when he feels him shift and move. Giving a low moan that had Levi turning red.
"Eren?" Levi called out.
In responds Eren curls into Levi. Then to Levi's shock he could feel how hard Eren was in his sleep. Levi for once had no idea what to do about this situation. Eren moans again softly near Levi's ear making the older man shutter. Levi could feel himself start to harden.
"Levi" Eren moans out wantonly making Levi's eyes grow wide and a blush spread across his cheeks.
He looks over at the younger man to see that he was in fact still asleep. He hears Eren whimper and Levi could hear just how needy that tone was.
Levi willed himself to sleep. It took a while but finally he fell into a restless sleep. Only to wake up the next morning when he feels Eren tense. He pretended to stay asleep, seeing what Eren would do.
Erens woke up clinging to something warm. He tenses and his eyes snap open only to see the sleeping face of the Captain. Eren looks down and cringes, he was rock hard and clinging to his captain.
Slowly and timidly Eren pulls away trying not to wake the man. Then slowly slides out of bed.
"Cold shower" He mumbles tiredly as he stumbles into the bathroom. Once Levi hears the bathroom door click shut his eyes open and he stares at the door.
"Well that explained why the water was set to icy" Levi muttered.
When earn comes out he freezes at the sight of the now awake Captain.
"Good morning Eren".
"G...good morning".
"Sleep well?"
"S...slept fine. You?"
"I slept well".
"Good to hear.
"So we going into town today?" Eren asked as Levi got up and walked toward the bathroom with his cloths.
"Yes.
And that was just what they did. Spending the whole day out in the city before heading back to the inn. While Eren took another shower Levi decides to do pick up the clothes from yesterday. Only for a crumpled piece of paper to fall out of Eren's pocket.
Remembering that Eren seemed irritated when reading it he uncrumple the paper and stared at confused.
'Tell me what?' Then it hit him. The love poem, the blushing around him, last night he had called his name during a clearly erotic dream. Eren was in love with him. Levi gained a small smirk and started to form a plan.
Eren steps out just as Levi hid the note.
Slipping past him to the bathroom brushing against him as he did. He washed up and instead of pants which he did not bring into the bathroom, He wrapped the small inn towel around his waist and stepped out. Hearing with amusement Eren choke on glances at Eren keeping his face carefully blank.
"Something wrong Eren?"
"N...Nothing" Eren quickly ripped his eyes away.
"Are you sure about that because you are red again and you wont look at me."
"Its nothing" Eren stated, willing himself to sound calm even though he could feel himself getting hard again.
'God I want him so bad, This is to much. He is mostly fucking nude, In only a towel'.
Eren feels a gentle touch guiding his face to look at Levi who was now very very close.
"You're not a very good lier Eren. Want to know the biggest give away."
"W...what?"
Eren gasps out a surprised moan as Levi gives a firm stroke over his clothed cock.
"C...Captain!"
Levi chuckles at Eren's reaction before capturing his lips in a lewd kiss. Eren was tense at first but soon melted into the kiss and kissed back the best he could.
After Levi pulls away Eren stares at him in shock.
"Now tell me the truth, is what you feel only sexual?"
"No, Its not. I...I love you Levi".
"Good I love you too. Now how about we take care of that problem of yours."
"God yes, just one question how did you figure it out."
"Moaning my name in your sleep is a bit hard to miss".
Eren turned candy apple red at that.
'Well of coarse I did'.
"Levi you are aware we've been set up right."
"I figured but doesn't matter, I now know you have the same feeling for me that I have been hiding for you and now we have time to get to know each other in a more...pleasurable way" Levi stated with a smirk that screamed hunter.
Eren daringly pulls Levi into another kiss only for him to be laid out on the bed.
"Mine" Levi whispers.
"Yours" Eren confirms.
-end-