–A endless storm
With a hesitant breeze, the room thoroughly cold, clouds covered and hidden amongst the sky.
Droplets of water touched the ground, certain streets were flooded, and many others weren't.
Currently, 5:34 AM.
Inevitably, a boy slept, even throughout this vicious storm, layered and puzzled around clouds, the room frail and frigid. Oblivious to that coldness.
'Goodbye Subaru, stay safe! We love you!' screamed his mother and father, excited to go on vacation. Merely those last words appeased him, tangling his heart in an endless row of doors.
As he slept, conflicted emotions were brought about from within.
His heart ached and relished for comfort, hoping for his parent's safety, not letting go of those last words.
Maybe not the most precious
The window, covered in water, dripping off the side.
–A knock came from the front side of the house, knocking, and knocking again.
Senseless and unaware of the knocks, slowly rolling.
–Smacking against the floor.
"..."
Wide and awake, confused as to what happened, plainly eyeing his surroundings.
A realization hit him, managing to fall off his bed which caused him to awake.
Signing in annoyance, and pain, this day could only get so bad, he was glad to know this would be how his day starts.
Arising from the floor after his dubious collapse.
–Knock, knock the numerous knock's kept coming. Never-ending nor stopping, whoever knocked was desperate to convey, rain pouring outside making it harder to hear. But the subtle little squeak caught Subaru's attention.
"...Sorry– I'm coming! Just wait a little longer!"
Rushing to his closet, seething throughout the various shirts. Picking a random shirt out of the many that were held up.
"–Just a minute!"
Dashing outside into the halls, the compact and vivid halls covered and filled in many photos of the 'Natsuki Family' feeling slightly prideful amongst the surname 'Natsuki'
As he ran to the door.
Twisting the knob, hearing the small crease between the door and the open world that expanded out into the beyond.
The cold weather sent a chill throughout his skin, all the hair on his body arose as the harsh weather made its way into the house, caressing his flesh as if it was a physical object, so cold…
"–Hello Sir!"
The man pulled down his cap, nodding to the boy as he kept his original posture, staring at Subaru.
"...Hello!"
A bit queasy, usually police being at your house or front door wasn't a sign of 'you did something good' or that could be his own opinion, who knows?
"Unfortunately Sir, two people have been reported dead."
The officer's eyes narrowed, looking down as if he was upset, this wasn't any of his business between this young man and his now-deceased parents, but he did feel upset for him.
"–Mr. Natsuki and Mrs. Natsuki were later found dead after a fatal car incident at an intersection in Kyoto around 2:47 AM."
Nodding his head to the frail boy.
Noticing something.
"Ahh…"
Absorbed by fear, blinded by truth, disregarding the answer he heard. But what if it was true? No, he wouldn't believe it. His parents are alive, right? They're still breathing? They're still kicking and enjoying their time right?
Right?
Believing those words were absurd, his parents couldn't die, they wouldn't. They wouldn't leave him alone in this world. He only had them, he couldn't afford to lose them.
Unaware, his legs trembled as questions wrung out, this isn't possible! No, this couldn't happen… no it couldn't, it couldn't, it couldn't right?
As his eyes distinctively looked up, not being able to acknowledge what he was hearing, finding it impossible, his parents weren't no 'gods' or anything like that, but he wouldn't believe they'd die and leave him alone in this world.
"–huh?"
The soft warm touch of someone's finger collided against his shoulder, the essence brought relief and letting him relax.
"It'll get better soon son."
As the rain poured upon the two, another man arrived, standing behind him wearing the near same outfit as the other officer covered in more badges.
"We need to go– another issue has appeared on a different intersection." hesitantly speaking, knowing the troubles of the young man ahead of him, yet not being proficient enough to understand those very feelings he felt.
The shorter man, nodding his head in agreement.
"–Forgive me for not being able to stay long."
Shaking his head up and down as a rhetorical sound took place as the rain flew throughout the sky touching both the officers; the boy was broken and destroyed, yet the man couldn't help, it wasn't something he could… Nor he had time for.
He stood from within the house, shocked by the words, left by surprise and loneliness.
"We'll be going now."
Saying their final goodbyes, the men turned around and made their way to the water-soaked doors of the truck.
"..."
"He– uh–"
Wanting to converse, speak those very words he held in. Only appeasing the empty shadow from within as if he was mere entertainment for the 'devil' only to be used and thrown away, just like a toy that breaks and can't be used anymore.
Surely a toy could get repaired?
Surely there's a way to fix it right?
It's not hopeless… You just have to try… You have to push… You don't want to be in the dark right?
You don't want to consume yourself in loneliness, locking yourself behind imaginary bars believing that's the only way you truly feel safe.
Eating yourself, absorbing into nothing but an empty shell, an empty shell that hollows out yourself, and visibly covers your feelings directly from others.
Using that as a self-defense mechanism right? Cause it's the only way to protect yourself.
You want to keep yourself protected right?
So you cover your heart in an endless puzzle, an endless maze– so, nobody can hurt you? You're invincible. But that isn't how you feel? People see you on the outside as some 'cool guy' or a 'hero amongst people' but it isn't that.
Hiding and covering yourself, you're truly 'amazing' – 'you're so awesome, man!! I want to be like you someday!' isn't that an interesting way to feel?
Isn't being cared for a nice thing?
Even when you're alone, having someone alongside could bring you up, slowly your ego arises, and you become a bragger or a foolish idiot that thinks he's cool.
But isn't that shown? It is always what the people see right?
They never see the 'boy' hiding from within the mask, something so inevitable, so unreachable that you shove yourself into a four-dimensional box, no not a box, a prison cell, a never-ending nightmare where you're trapped alone. Conflicted by every thought that reaches you.
Could you truly escape?
Is there a way to truly escape?
We are humans, it's wrong to say 'this is our nature' but being cared for, loved for, believed for, that could truly help someone. What if nothing was wrong though? What if you were the problem? What if you couldn't cope or fit those expectations? Where will you go from there?
Greed, the greed of wanting to be loved and cared for. Could drive people to this, sick ideologies or twisted beliefs, all because they wanted what you have, all because 'you're so good at this – 'you're so amazing!! I'd love to be like you!' the satisfaction of stomping on how those people feel only to make yourself feel higher to any degree.
"..."
Watching as the men walked away.
Closing the door, without time to think, without anything to ponder on.
Slowly falling alongside the door as his feet touched the floor. The cold embrace that submerged from outside, and from the door only set his feelings ablaze, scattered and distorted as it was a 'Child's melody' but warped.
Hands raised.
Trembling. Crying– he couldn't accept it, his parents wouldn't die, would they? Diverse thoughts collapsed and became one.
The truth existed and was shown to the boy.
It isn't acceptable, he couldn't believe it, revealing the thick childish layer that covered his heart, protected him, kept him safe from the world.
As long as the shell that displayed over his heart, body, and soul, he was conserved with that… He didn't need to worry? Or hurt?
So why does his heart feel so empty?
Tears…
Leaking alongside his face, his eyes welled up into distress.
He wanted to scream, yell out to the world about how much he hated it.
–This story isn't about a boy achieving a 'harem' or anything like that, it's about a child achieving happiness, and leaving the distorted state he's in.
4 months later…
[Trip to Texas!]
Currently, 2:57 PM Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport
Strolling down the stairs, a long trip ahead.
The plane eased down as the many passengers wandered throughout the open space within the Airport, wide and new, something he's never seen.
A new destination, just like a video game, attaining a new 'level' or 'map' showing you've arrived somewhere anew.
"My first time in Texas, or America in general– this place is beautiful though!"
He spoke loudly, ignoring the many passenger's eyes, this was his first time here, behaving like he was a child seeing a toy for the first time.
Hearing a sound, batting an eye as his attention panned on the mechanical noises coming from the escalator.
Slightly dashing through the white neat floors, cleaned in every way.
He hadn't seen something like this in Japan. This was far too interesting.
'This is cool' as if his eyes lit up, the gleam of a child hidden within him, an incoming sound of the gears swirling and twisting.
The escalators happened to make numerous mechanical noises, inspecting it as he found it to be interesting, not minding the endless oncoming crowds of people trying to exit the Airport.
"Well, I should be going now."
Sighing hindered his words, finding the escalator notable for his trip to Texas.
Standing upon the machine as it lifted him to the next level, a sign appeared over the endless lift.
'EX… IT?' having a bit of trouble understanding, realizing it meant he was getting closer to the outside world which was concealed from his eyes.
pulling out his phone from the tucked-in pocket, he happened to receive a few messages from someone.
Currently, 2:54 PM Message received by Uncle Flugel
Ahh, Subaru there's a little gift at home for you! Also, kid, I'm sorry for the loss of your parents and my dear brother. I can't see you yet, but I'm hurting too. So– how about we meet sometime? Once I'm free from all this work and bullshit*
Closing his eyes as he finished the text.
'Uncle Flugel is a weird man, especially when it comes to emotion– I've never really spoken with him throughout the years so our relationship is wanky and distorted.' thinking to himself.
'Though it's hardly noticeable, Uncle Flugel does care, even when it doesn't seem like it, that feeling does exist.'
A minor smile crossed his expression, this was the first time he managed to pull off a smile, even if it wasn't so big– it existed so it doesn't matter.
A ring came from his phone, leaving his ringer on, forgetting the effects it could cause. He wasn't a fan of loud noises or anything irritating like that.
"Hmm."
His iPhone 12 Pro Max, majestic, and beautiful as it was with the silver-edges, and black behind. It was quite a sight to see! Well, that's what he thought, overly, it was a personal opinion, one he didn't hold very highly. But one that kept him intrigued.
Trembling.
His fingers trembled.
Receiving a message that he didn't expect at this hour, This, response was quite shocking, yet saddening.
"..."
Subaru-kun why aren't you at school?*
"I… –I'm sorry Rem."
Using the top right pad, instantly closing his phone so he didn't have to stare at his messages anymore.
"I'll text you later Rem, same with the others."
"Rem, Ram, Priscilla, Crusch, Reinhardt…" he spoke in a low tone.
Naming only those few people, he could go on for more. But he didn't have the time.
Suddenly, he received another message.
"Again?!"
Slightly annoyed, opening his phone and checking it once more.
I forgot to mention kid, I booked you a room in a hotel around your area, it's called Fairmont, a nice place with good cuisine!*
Sighing as he hadn't entered Dallas yet, and he already had somewhere to be, truly invigorating to him, abstract and annoying.
Swiping up the lower middle screen, sending him back to the main 'menu' or main screen.
Checking 'maps' usually rarely ever using the provided app from Apple as he didn't go out much. But this was his first big trip, not essentially a 'trip' but a mental recapture, a way to relax.
So why 4 months later?
Well, the stress could only go so far, Uncle Flugel soon started to notice that, so he planned for Subaru to take a trip to Texas! A new place he hadn't ever been, it's a good place to relax for the time being.
Typing down 'Fairmont Hotel' as a hotel picture dropped down with pricing, and a vivid picture, showing the beautiful insights to behold the boy.
"–This place isn't so bad." quickly looking around as he stood outside on the street by the entrance of the Airport.
Unexpectedly a taxi drove by.
The thin breeze and random commotion happened to make Subaru tumble backward on the floor.
Landing on his ass with an unpleasant glance.
"–dammit!! Why the hell did you do that!"
Annoyance and clear anger in his words; the man could only look at the young boy with a tiny smirk.
"Eh– brat, would you like a ride?"
Still pissed and infuriated, knowing the man purposely drove right by him to cause a commotion.
The clear man staring at him with a wide smirk, sitting within the yellow taxi.
"I guess." sighing as he stood himself back up, a bit distraught by his sudden collapse.
'I'm not fluent enough in English, I know a decent amount though.' he thought to himself as he looked at the taxi driver.
Breathing in.
"Could you take me to Fairmont hotel?" inquiring a question to the driver as the bearded man grew an off-putting smile.
"Sure kid." treating the boy as if he was a complete child. A mere child requesting the aid of a fellow adult.
Sighing as he gazed down, observing the concrete.
Entering the vehicle; the man started up his taxi as they started to drive on the road. Subaru felt a little tired. So, he decided to take a little nap for the time being.
Time passed by…
The heat of one's breath edged closer.
A gentle knock to the chest, awoke another's hesitant energy, emerging from their sleep.
"Aye– boy, we've arrived at your destined location or whatever."
The man spoke without a care in his words, only conveying a strict message to get Subaru out of his car.
"..."
"Brat, Wake up!"
Striking at his chest once more.
The awoken boy grunted in pain, and hatred, compiled with a bit of gratitude.
Not having the energy or will to argue, hardly moving upon seeing the bearded man's ugly and crooked grin.
"Ahh– thanks."
He kept the conversation quick, not having a lot of time. Well– he had all the time in the world, realistically that wasn't true. But, he didn't want to stay here, especially with the old man being an asshole.
As he relieved tension, easing down in the car seat; the old man gave him a whimsical look of irritation.
"Alright, I'll be going now!"
Speaking as he tossed down fifty dollars, strolling into the entrance of the massive hotel as the bearded man grabbed the cash with a toothy smile and drove away.
The door's mechanical system, or initially the machine mechanism opened the door as Subaru roamed inside with a childish glance.
–bizarrely, the young boy eyed every aspect of the hotel, merely only in the main room. But even so, this was a splendid sight, terrific and beautiful.
"Sir, can I help you?"
A woman mumbled in a low tone, raising a question to Subaru for his odd actions, the voluptuous and vivid lights, expanding beyond that with the bright glistening white floors.
"Eh, yeah, this place is beautiful though, so– my uncle ordered me a place here, a place for 'Natsuki Subaru' right?"
Inquiring a question, as he hurried towards the main desk, eyeing the black-haired woman, who wore a semi-black dress coated in white, finding it gorgeous to look at.
The woman gazed down, filing throughout many files.
"Natsuki Subaru, Room #138, floor Level 3."
She didn't intend to speak much with him.
Only handing him a key to open the room, respectively, feeling grateful for the woman's kindness even when she didn't speak much.
Nodding.
Her confusion arose as her eyes glued themselves to the man that was full-on nodding before her, usually, the people she met wouldn't end up doing this.
After a long grueling walk up the stairs…
"I've made it!"
Collapsing on the floor as he was tired, now noticing the elevator…
"It was there the whole time…"
Sighing as he stood his miserable self up, sauntering towards the endless isle of doors and the vividly textured floors with intricate designs.
Ignoring the faint fact that he wanted to throw up, only wanting to fall over and spew his guts out for he officially deemed himself 'tired' and wanted to fall over.
Managing to find his door with the exact numbers of 138, holding the key as he opened the door.
Locking the door behind him as he intruded into his new open hotel room for the time being.
Falling into the room, smelling the fresh aura that brewed around the massive chamber.
"This is nice."
Shortly stumbling asleep. This trip had already been rough or well not really, it was a seemingly easy hassle to get here.
"..."
Drool leaked from his open mouth as if he was a drunken man that happened to fall asleep on the floor after drinking bottles for hours.
Abruptly, his phone started to ring.
Tensing up a bit, moving around on the floor like a child, only to open his eyes with a morning gaze, even though it wasn't morning but midnight.
"Uhh…"
Shaking his head with uncertainty, a broad conclusion came to mind as he slowly stood himself up.
"I didn't even sleep on the bed!"
Complaining to himself as he stepped throughout the room, considering how the office looked, not expecting this. The room was elegant in every way possible.
Walking deeper into the room as he saw two beds with a TV on the left side with a glass door in the back.
An intriguing thought hit him, like a rush of moving water, colliding against his face. But that was only rhetorical, it was only an idle illusion to hide his loneliness.
That illusion lasted long, protecting him in every way possible, his shield to Walt off and do anything. Knowing it wasn't infinite yet wanting it to be eternal, even though that was a dream on its own.
"I wish you could see this with me, Rem…"
An insignificant feeling fogged his thoughts.
He missed Rem, he missed them all. But it isn't time to see them, no, he couldn't go back not yet.
Desperately wanting to see Rem's cerulean eyes and hair, or to hear laughs and giggles or even cries, as long as he could hear her…
"I wonder… If I were to tell you Rem... Would you take my hand? Would you walk alongside me? Maybe– we would be alone, that would be peaceful though… Isn't that what you want Rem?"
Unwary self-conflicting doubt, merely wanting to grasp her existence, feel her physically, 'a teen in need' an odd way to put it. But he was a high school boy in need of such activities.
Less about lust, more about attention, love, craving for it all, he had friends. But that seemed like it wasn't ever enough.
As if his heart was an empty unfathomable pit.
Never-ending hole. Would that hole ever be filled? The deep withered pain that he held inside.
It was wrong of him to think like this… Right? Wanting to see Rem and touch her… It's wrong, right? Wanting to say you're happy that you have her… The only person that only ever cared about until now. Doesn't she deserve him? She is entitled to his heart… Right?
She loves me…
I love her…
She only gave, gave, and gave, all the boy did was nothing, nothing but taking up her time, attention, money, and other things.
As a waste of space, he shouldn't be around Rem, all she did was treasure him, loved him, protected him… He was the child and the mother was Rem.
He didn't do anything, only ever causing trouble for her, even– even when she tried her hardest, he was only in the way.
It was wrong to think like this…
Wanting to feel her smooth skin, soft plump breasts, thick thighs…
He wanted to hear her moan….
Call out his name as he held her down against the wall and railed her…
'Subaru-kun!! Subaru-kun!!'
Merely imagining that possibility, coating his lust with all the faulty things he's done.
But there was no stopping, this abhorrent emotion strived in him, guilt, lust, and his pathetic levels of self-esteem.
"Rem…"
Touching his lips, moist and lonely, wishing for attention, yet the only woman that could give him that was gone.
Not gone. But not around, his eyes couldn't see her in the distance, nor was she around him at all.
So, it was all a dream. But his desire to have Rem wasn't, he felt wrong, practically guilty.
Before he could indulge in his lust, a ring from his phone rang in.
Grabbing his phone intensely, passing by his lock.
Typing… Code: 5634
Pressing upon text messages.
What he saw could only amuse him, attracting immense attention.
Subaru-kun… Hello?*
Hey Rem.*
Looking at the time.
Currently, 9:03 PM
Current Location: Fairmont Hotel.
It was a night for him, and morning for her, their hearts separated. But the love existed, merely their love was split into two, like hearts but broken.
Notoriously this was to be expected, they were far too all over the place to condense and compress their feelings.
Well– truly missing her and she truly missed him. But he kept himself notorious and hidden, he wasn't ready to express his love or feelings or even the way she makes him feel.
After his parents… she was the only thing he had left, same with Ram. But Ram didn't show much care unlike Rem… Rem was something else…
Something that made his heart turn. He didn't have a number 1 or 2 or even 3, his heart wasn't taken away nor was it satiated.
His heart was a pile of the embossed black cup, and what was in that cup you may ask?
A diamond-like heart, matching the look of one. But cold as ice narrowly woven and driven into a past descent only to be destroyed and rebuilt to be charged with the struggle and essence of life.
The black cup that held his heart together seemingly was cracking, tick, tock…
The heart, the most fragile out of them all. But what if his heart died out? Was he afraid to die? Or was he afraid of leaving the world alone? Without someone to love? Without someone to hold dear to him in his time of need.
Essentially, his thoughts were outrageous. But those fragmented thoughts held him together, his body was being rebuilt, after being destroyed, harmed, plastered, and stabbed.
That unflinching pain. Those dark lonely nights where he felt the cold would be enough to kill him.
His pride was great and mighty! Taking on the world itself! But he would crumble before the weakest of people because he is 'Natsuki Subaru' emblazoned by a title he never wished for.
Yet for his parents… he would carry on this 'burden' carrying on the weight, destiny, and legacy they held for him.
He wouldn't consider himself the son of the Ol' great Mr. Kenichi and Mrs. Naoko without accomplishing what they gave him.
They birthed his existence, the meaning of hope.
He's their light, a knight shining in armor, a hero amongst people!
They don't expect him to be the best in the world. But they expect the best he can be.
Now they aren't here to speak. But that won't change him, he'll carry on their legacy and punch any bastard in the face who dares stomp on what his parents gave him.
He'll laugh in front of the fools that think they can steal or take his dream, no matter what, his parents will always be his number 1.
Subsiding those feelings, time to commence back to Rem, or well focus his attention back onto her.
–———–—————————————————
The halls, somewhat vague and empty. A girl sat upon a toilet with the door closed on her phone, texting a certain someone.
"Subaru-kun…" awaiting an answer.
Only getting the bitter silence that left her upset.
Wondering if she should give up on texting Subaru, it was near lunchtime for the school, so– she was technically free to do anything.
As she stood up.
Truly giving up on waiting for his response.
A ring came through. That bitter silence turned into a girl jumping for joy, and happiness.
Sitting back down on the toilet as she saw his message.
Hey Rem.*
Excitement and all sorts of emotions clouded her heart, he managed to respond to her which made her mood slightly lift.
The messages went slightly silent, it was like they decimated the talk before it started.
But suddenly Rem wanted to tell him how much she missed him, though she felt their conversation wouldn't last long.
Eventually, a dire message came through.
A message that made even her heart swirl, dancing in the night as if she was a masked dancer.
That was an illusion. But a satisfying one at best, an intriguing idea that would be disregarded for later events.
Maybe, it wasn't so romantic. But more along the lines of platonic densely packed with emotion of care.
But this care struck deeper than she ever thought, those mere feelings seemed platonic but weren't.
I miss you.*
Her heart oozed with love. Practically moaning at this point.
"Subaru-kun!" she yelled out.
Though her voice didn't go far, she was safely hidden inside the bathroom.
Vigorous to all the dirty intents she held. This was only the final step to her lust.
Her legs slowly started to open as a liquid dripped down from between her thighs.
"Subaru-kun…"
Making her feel special, even though he hadn't done much, this was her way of conveying feelings, through lust and physical contact. But even words were enough to make her wet.
She was a beautiful girl. But you'd be mistaken to think she was pure, her heart was only for one person.
Her love never drained.
Bound by the boy, holding upon her heart valiantly, never letting anyone touch her heart. It merely wasn't his, nor did he act like it was. All he did was protect it.
"Subaru-kun… touch me."
Moaning out as her juices leaked from between, the white seen-through liquid that dropped onto the inside of the toilet.
Wanting to feel him physically, thinking of his hands caressing all over her body. This humane feeling, the touch of another's hand.
That warming embrace, such an elegant touch, it would make anyone desire more.
Such a calming sense, maybe– love wasn't the aspect. But it was a core figure.
Love was needed.
Pouring into the hearts of one and another, love was bliss. It was a gift given to another, even platonic or romantic.
The love existed, this world needs love with love a lot could change. But that isn't the point. Affection between wannabe lovers.
They weren't lovers though. Only in the slow birth of such things. Reckless teenagers only doing reckless things.
A smile happened to appear.
She loved him, and she didn't know about his feelings. Usually conflicting if he loved her. But she never could figure out that answer.
It was a layer briefed upon a maze.
Thick and thin, a clear path ahead. But she was stuck. Never finding a way out into where he existed. Where she could find him. Where she could grasp the edges of his heart.
Bright and blue, glowing with a golden edge. Her heart was that of a queen's, a man would fall head over heels for her. But wasn't that an exaggeration?
She was wonderful, incredible, even an outstanding woman.
Her lust was major, her love was unfathomable, even unreachable.
But her heart was low, stripped from its original balance. Ripped and shredded into a destructive state.
There was no equilibrium, stability, or even control, yet she could form a smile.
A big smile for him and her sister. Even at times– she wanted to cry, wanted to fuck over the world and leave it alone. Grabbing her sister and Subaru and walking off into the endless nightmare known as reality and the world.
"..."
She kept silent in her delusional illusions known as ideas.
Speculating ways Subaru would make her feel, his fingers rubbing his breasts, him relieving himself against her body.
"Ahh– Subaru-kun…"
Her fingers leeched down. Moving alongside her stomach and pushing down onward to something wet and covered in clothes.
Arising from the toilet as she pulled down her pants only to sit back down and widen her legs.
The wet dripping juices seethed throughout her clothes if she had been quicker she could have stopped it. But she was intent on her lust so she didn't care.
Rubbing her clit.
Vigorously with immense speed as she leaked more into the toilet.
"Subaru-kun faster!"
Imagining a visible and clear idea.
'Don't you love this Rem?'
The clear thought as she imagined him pounding her onto the floor, rearranging her body with haste and enjoyment.
Eyes starting to roll back. A soon-to-be orgasm, even though not her first. She had done this multiple times.
His image, and figure couldn't escape her mind, she would do anything to gain his love and affection.
Legs starting to tremble in pleasure. Only rubbing quicker– essentially her body couldn't handle it anymore.
Slowly flowing out…
"Ahh!"
She squirted out. Her juices spewed into the toilet and onto the walls, flying everywhere. This was only an aesthetic feeling of ecstasy and happiness.
Falling back onto the wet toilet, wet and filled with her love.
Breathing heavily as her eyes were still rolled up. All she could do was hold a lustful gaze with drool dripping from her mouth.
Until a certain voice cut through the room in an instant.
"Rem– are you okay?"
"..."
Unease– with quick speed, using toilet paper to clean up the small ripples of her juices scattered all over the floor.
As she stood up to pull up her long black thigh socks. With a quick glint and a smile, ready to proceed onward with her day.
"Subaru-kun~ I'll be back soon~"
A blush, and a flurry of emotions, wild in across the air.
It was time for her to go. But before she could, she washed her hands with soap and cleaned her hands with paper towels.
"I'm coming, Frederica!"
The woman sat outside the door, eyeing her with the green gleam in her eyes.
Giggling a bit as she awaited her friend to make way outside the restroom.
Rem ended up running out into the hallway. Approaching where Frederica was as she smiled, and the women carried on with their day.
Walking off into the direction of where the lunchroom was.
"Bye, bye Subaru-kun I love you~"
Muttering under her breath.
"Did you say something?"
Looking over to her friend, inquiring a question with confusion.
"No."
She spoke with a smile, eyeing her blonde-haired friend as they both strolled into the lunchroom together.
——————————————————–———
Beating.
His heart beat rapidly, awaiting a response to never come. Though– this could happen. But only after hours upon hours.
The wait was invigorating. But this was to be expected as it was getting quite late for the boy.
Currently, 9:22 PM
it had hardly been 19 minutes, though this was odd to him, expecting a quick response. But only left to wait.
Breathing in.
Attaining a better composure and posture, relaxing down a bit, was a good way to calm down.
The boy found it soothing.
Inhaling and exhaling the excess air from within his open mouth.
His stress could only pile up so high as if he was staring upon a kingdom mighty and high, clouding above even the stars.
Even space itself, like an endless tower, never-ending. Yet finding it fascinating, a tower he couldn't crash or wreck over.
Somewhere he can't go no matter how hard he tries. Space, an open galaxy, this was amazing!! Gorgeous!! The Pleiades was a place of hope, dreams, and interest.
But this empty glass, empty galaxy, the first-ever heartbeat meaning empty world was only one thing?
His mind.
The self-delusional world. A dream anyone and everyone would love, eternal, this world was eternal. Existing forever and ever.
Unexpectedly jumping on the white-coated bed, perfectly made for the next guest to sleep on it.
Ignoring all his false pathetic thoughts.
Taking off most of his heavy clothing that covered the outer layers of his skin so he could relax a bit better.
He wasn't a child. But it was time to sleep even to him, he had no reason to stay up this late, nearly 10:00 PM, so– there wasn't any reason to be up.
Laying down.
Covering the thick sheets all over his body, feeling the slight sensational emotion it brought him, the warm fuzziness was remarkable.
Turning off his phone as he ended up turning off the big lamplight which was on the right side of his bed.
Slowly drifting into slumber as he wrapped himself deeper into his blankets and sheets.
"Night."
As if he was speaking to someone that didn't exist, saying his final words as he closed his eyes.
Sleeping peacefully in the night.
15 hours later…
Cold streets, rainy day. The essence of gloom itself. But the poor boy was far used to this by anything.
Strolling on the streets, hearing his feet every time he walked. Seeing various shopping centers, and massive buildings.
This place satisfied his interest, big and incredible. Though this was personal preference, it was a nice city.
Today he didn't do much, just a day to chill, and soften down. No reason to waste excess energy at all or anything.
His heart already felt like it could explode.
The cold tension that iced and glazed around his body like a shield. But this shield existed everywhere, it never failed to do its task.
This was something that kept him protected, ignoring the outside world only to grasp in his lonesome, which was okay. But it wasn't the right way to handle the situation.
He could be somewhere else, he could've been at school or even his job. So– why wasn't he?
A trip of self-reflection.
This was something, everyone needed. But this was something not a lot would enjoy partaking in.
Though this place was lovely, he was alone. Without a friend in sight, and only to sit in his pity, and grimace.
The wet, bitter, and cold air coated his heart. This was… Something amazing… His heart strung up like an open piece of meat only to lay on the cold floor.
A mere illusion. But something that was needed, never forgetting all the issues or problems he caused for his parents.
His foolishness, idiocy, he wasn't the cause of his parent's death surely.
But lingering ideas only could float around.
What if he could be the reason?
The reason his parents died? Would he ever get that close to figuring it out? Or was he innocent?
Tripping up into doubt.
Breathing in.
–Without a second to pass.
Punching the wall with his fists.
"Tch."
"Useless, it's all useless!"
Throughout his mentality, it slowly dropped. But this was clear to the human eyes.
His brain truly felt like it exploded.
Twisting and turning, vessels binding and ripping as if his neck had been twisted 100 times over that pain wouldn't ever stop.
But this wasn't a physical pain or anything like that.
His psyche was broken, like an insect– no, a spider or even a frog that has birthed newly hatched eggs, giving the embodiment of life into another.
If he found a way to fix this, would it all stop? This mental trauma, pain, and everything else.
He didn't want to feel this, it hurt… Badly…
He could scream…
Practically brainfucked, he was like a display as his guts, and brain held outside on display for the world to see as they looked with disgusted and satisfied eyes.
Feeling nauseous. Managing to stumble into a store in which he saw a lot of metallic weapons.
"–Sir, would you like to buy anything?"
The man was rather suspicious, inquiring a question to let time go by.
Freezing up a bit, shaking a little.
"Y-yes."
Eyeing the guns, left and right. A thought came to mind… He wanted to try something. Something that could work possibly.
"Well Sir, you might like this."
Holding out a weapon, a miniature pistol compared to the other bigger one's known as the ARs and shotguns. Though he wasn't fairly interested in them.
"This is the SAR9X, a combat-like pistol, of course– up to date with all new qualities."
The black edges were nice, that was the only thing he found quite interesting.
"I'll buy it."
After a few grueling hours of getting a gun permit, and being allowed to carry one.
Sheer seconds later, entering the shooting range that was located inside the gun building. He didn't care enough to look at the title, he only ever stepped in here to find somewhere to relax.
So his actions up to now we're all out of an odd emotion.
Holding the gun in his right hand as he stuck the clip into the firearm.
Cocking it back.
Breathing in, his first ever gun. But he had ulterior motives to own this pistol. It wasn't visible as to why he bought it nor was it seen as to why he wanted it.
–Firing!
The loud clack sound, slapping against the dummies flesh as it shook a little. But this was only the start.
Firing, firing, and shooting more.
Satisfaction. He couldn't stop, shooting more and more, this was euphoric, heaven itself must have grazed the boy.
Filling him in an embassy of white flowers, gaining a whiff of the sentient heaven that touched him so thoroughly~
It must've been a dream come true, this gun gave him warmth, though the empty void and cold harsh shiver's that trembled within his chest wouldn't go.
–fire… Fire… Fire!
He wouldn't stop, every time he lost a clip, he reloaded and kept pushing, wondering what's inside the dummy?
Will its guts fall out? Will its brain juices happen to scatter across the floor and fill him in ecstasy?
Before he knew it.
The same weapon he used…
Was now directly pointed at his skull, holding the weapon tightly as he wouldn't let go. Death was apparent in his eyes. Nothing to live for. Only to pass on.
Breathing heavily as his heart rate increased tremendously as if he was having a panic attack.
"It's time to go… Isn't it?"
Abruptly his legs shook. He couldn't decide what to do, yet he was afraid as he shook, tears dripped from the right and left sides of his cheeks.
"..."
This is the end? Right? The end of Natsuki Subaru's road… Right?
A conclusion wasn't apparent, an idea was vague, his mind was blurry. There wasn't anything to guide him, anything to teach him. To help him.
He was alone.
In an instant…
Closing his eyes, preparing for the bullet to take his life.
–Click
But nothing happened.
The bullet didn't reach. No, it wasn't that. There was no bullet, no– nothing, absolutely nothing.
Absolute silence occurred in the room.
Until the rapid sound of something being thrown as the gears clashed against the floor as his teeth crashed together.
Falling onto the floor, upon notice his first instinct was too…
"–Ahh!"
Roaring out in pain as his fist punched the concrete floor at high velocity, harming his fist badly.
Leaking blood. But that didn't matter. Not to him at least, so caught up in his anger and hatred. But pathetically trying to hide his pain.
"Dammit, dammit, dammit!!"
Crying out as his right fist punched the ground once more causing more blood to spill and even vessels to be crushed in the process.
But you couldn't expect much from him… After all, he's only human.
"M-mom… Dad… Why did you leave me…"
The tears wouldn't stop rolling. An endless wave of droplets leaked from his eyes as his sclera became clear red, the mini vessels became red.
"I miss you… Please come back… I need you both…"
He couldn't hold himself in shape without his parents. Missing their comfort, wanting their love, wishing they could push him.
He was their superstar.
But a hero can't be a hero without someone to push them, someone to take their final leap into the world, so– where was that for Subaru anymore? It didn't exist, it was all fake, a fucking delusional phony dream.
A dream, a dream, a dream! As he cried, he laughed.
"He– haha–"
He wasn't blessed nor gifted, a regular human, nobody special but a highschool student.
Knowing he wasn't meant for anything special, or anything amazing, only misery. But this was terrific! Outright fucking terrific,! Beautiful, extravagant, extraordinary!
This was already something he knew. But he ignored it, having faith, having hope. Awaiting a wish, a wish. But would that ever come? Who said even that faint little shit piece of hope existed.
If it did, could he reach out his hand to it?
Would they let him be happy, or would they push him down a dark route until he filled a sick satisfaction for all the twisted ideas and all the destructive beliefs he had?
He only wanted one thing.
To be happy.
But the world wouldn't give him even that, the devil must've had his eyes out for him.
Striking at him every time he tried to achieve happiness, it was taken away from him, ripped away, and eradicated to the point where nothing existed.
Crying like a child on the floor for a few hours. Giving in to his weakness. But nobody was around so he was allowed to do this.
Nobody could see him like this.
The pathetic mess he was, hiding within his parent's house because it kept him safe, where he could hide and cry for hours upon hours if he wished.
A place where he could let out all of the pain.
The immense tension between the vessels in his fists, the injury irritated him to a certain extent as he started wiping away the blood against his jacket.
The burning pain that came from his fingers.
They throbbed roughly, it damaged him approximately due to his idiotic accomplishments. But he couldn't call this agony an accomplishment. More of an individual nightmare.
This was the world he lived in. But the world wasn't so terrible as he made it out to be, it was always worse for someone else.
The poor boy wouldn't open his eyes, behold the truth to the world, fragile, and delicate, his heart was as cold as ice. Nevertheless, there was something there.
Throughout the cold.
As big as Mount. Everest itself, he was an endless void. But he didn't care– though, there were wedges in Mount. Everest?
How many?
Thousands, millions, cracks upon the surface. Possibly even billions, though, how many cracks throughout avalanches that caused the downfall, and death of many.
That number of avalanches. Representing how many times he had fallen, and cracked open like a shell, letting his innards fall onto the snow as his split-open skull leaked his brain fluids.
Even– his brain rolled out as if it was done by human hands, his eyeballs poked out throughout his freshly cut skull, a new trim? A fresh new cut? A fall and break throughout your limbs and a splatter of your skull and it's all over.
He wouldn't mind dying like this or passing on like this, this wouldn't be a respectable death, a pathetic way of running away. But this would save him… Or would it just make it worse?
The little ripples, or well, 'wedges' just how avalanches represent the times he's fallen and broke over and over again.
The wedges…
They represented the numerous times his heart was broken, shattered, and displayed upon the world only for him to be pitied, beaten, and harmed.
He couldn't count the times, he'd been harmed, physically and mentally fucked over.
Though, that person gave him something.
Sensation.
He wasn't anonymous to 'sensations or feelings' but this was something he hadn't felt before. A new sensation, a new craving, this hurt, it was painful. But it was worth the time.
He learned something new, it was grim. Brutal, and unjust. But he learned that day. That he shouldn't do something like that.
His body, ravaged and taken from him. Only to satisfy man's greed, he never deserved it. But the world didn't care, nobody did, so– on that night, he lost something he couldn't ever gain back.
Taken away to never be returned, though even when that happened, it created a wild sensation in him, a feeling he'd never want to feel again, and a feeling that inflicted great pleasure.
He hated them… Wanting to harm them or even torture them, they… Didn't deserve to live… They didn't deserve anything.
But this was his fault, he couldn't do anything, physically incapable of moving. So– he was raided. But they tread somewhere they shouldn't.
On that night, he understood true pleasure.
Though this wasn't how he wanted to feel it. But he wasn't the one making that choice, his mind at the time was all over the place. Far too busy indulging something deep within his body.
He hated it. But he kept going, he wasn't allowed to stop, back, and forth, that flow of motion until something came through, releasing from the aggression only to fall and be destroyed the next.
Never speaking about it.
This had to be kept hidden, this… was something nobody should know.
Unknown to outsiders from the world, this was something that must stay hidden… Nobody can know, yes, yes… Nobody… Nobody. Nobody will know, this is his own space.
His dimensions were his fantasies, nightmares, and ideas associated with each other, processing a reasonable conclusion and answer to everything he did.
"..."
His hazel eyes gleamed at the gun, seeing part of it smashed and partially battered at, the bottom left side had a scrap and some more all over the main body.
"Tch."
Quite furious, yet mildly upset. The weapon clip was empty, which happened to make his rage only raise.
Standing up, wiping away those subtle tears. He couldn't let anyone see how he was acting, a child shouldn't be in a shooting range.
The black little box that sat atop a table, waiting for its owner's usage, the box was made to carry guns.
As grimace, and distaste filled him, ignoring all sudden thoughts, attention beamed on the pistol.
The nasty frown that appeared. Angry at a weapon, it seemed merely delusional, quite absurd even to him.
Sighing, withering out his hatred, malice, and grudge. But that foolishly lasted on an inanimate object. All because it wouldn't shoot, the clip was gone and empty.
But, he wondered, what if it did shoot, and he ended up dying. Where would he be?
With his parents? Heaven? Such a splendid sight. But heaven was another illusion, not quite a dream, well a wish, wouldn't anyone gladly be there?
Soaring above the heavens– the sky itself as you look upon the humans that roam the earth, it would be satisfying, appeasing.
It seemed, even if he was supposedly being chased by the 'devil' itself, somewhere. Throughout desolations, and years, a clear future, perceived by all.
Not visible to the human eye. But destined to those who wouldn't give up. He wouldn't stop. But it was far.
At this point, he was practically begging. However, never succeeding cause was he made to succeed? Or fail?
His future was narrow and grim. But there was a faint belief, a faint urge. Completely uneasy, and wary to this future to behold, it'll come sooner than he could ever comprehend.
Eyeing the black box.
Stepping on the concrete creating an immense sound, varied in with the eccentric feeling of a cold, empty and lonely room.
–Kneeling
Touching the weapon with his cold fingers, feeling the bitter edge, cold, and perfect, it matched him in every way.
As he stood up, it felt like more weight accumulated upon his body, heavy and dangly, he could fall over at any moment. Possibly even nauseous.
"I need to go… I'm tired…"
Walking over to the table which held the box, he was far too tired to do anything, any excess energy shouldn't be wasted. Needing to hurry home as if he would puke.
Home… Japan, where he wanted to be. Only a few more days of self-reflecting, and loneliness. He'll survive, good, right? Yea he knows he can…
He's always been able to survive after all– even in many situations, he'd rather it be him than anyone else. But that wasn't what the world wished for.
Not being protected by the world, nor being loved. It was mixed and unstable. So– this was a new usual. He hadn't grown used to this. Usually, it would take years to develop these feelings. But his shaky persona was all he needed.
Treading onward to a door, releasing him from the 'hell' known as the shooting range.
"I'll be going now, thanks!"
A perfect wide smile, like cheese and a smile from a camera. But this felt a bit too compelled.
Hard to reciprocate a smile, or show it properly due to what happened recently, this was usual. Well, not completely or essentially like this. But a growing issue is only becoming worse.
Though allowing it, and never stopping it, letting it continue, and further on. Continuing this unstoppable cycle.
"You take care, sir!"
Nodding as he headed out into the streets.
Breathing in as he saw his breath before him, an unpredictable day to be so wet or chilly, the rain wasn't expected either. But it came, so that didn't matter.
5 hours later…
Currently, 4:57 PM
Somewhat hungry, nearly starving. He ate yesterday. Wanting to eat more since he didn't want to go a day without eating.
"So where…"
An organized form of thoughts floated around, some didn't help him. But all was in his best interests.
He hadn't explored the 'cuisines' or 'food' Dallas had, so he was a bit out of the mix with all of this.
"Hmm…"
Happening to come by a place known as 'outback steakhouse' though not knowing what it was exactly, or clearly. But his mind was certainly invested in it.
"Should I go there?"
Looking up to see the wall as he thought over the many decisions he had. But he only sees one obvious route or restaurant.
"Ahh– dammit!"
Concluding, he was going– surely to a place he's never been. But it seemed fulfilling. So if he could fill his stomach, satiate his hunger that would be enough.
Standing up as a weird aura hung low around his body, grabbing his phone and stuffing it in his right pocket.
It was time for an adventure! Well not exactly. But a trip to somewhere anew, mission: reach Outback Steakhouse, this was quite childish of him even though he was a nearly grown adult.
Almost a full adult and he was acting like this. But he didn't care, it wasn't important what others thought.
Maybe his way of thinking was a bit wrong, seeing everything as a mere 'child's game' but that was something that could happen.
When the world kicks you away and forces you into a shell.
A prisoner of the world itself. But wouldn't that be for everyone, locked down, and tormented for your existence? Only to suffer something far worse on the outcome.
–grumble
A sound came throughout the bleak room, he didn't comprehend this. He believed he wasn't this hungry, it hadn't been long since he ate last.
Sighing.
Zipping up his jacket as he plopped on his pants, wondering how good the food is.
Drooling in hunger, or wanting to eat something exquisite, glamorous in every way.
But a vivid thought of a beautiful woman came to mind when he represented hunger, he wanted food. But there was something else.
He wouldn't mind drooling for her, even some other things. But that couldn't happen, sadly he was far away from her.
She kept him on balance. Solely, he couldn't get over the cerulean blue hair, the sky blue eyes as if he was looking at an angel. But that angel dyed blue and mixed in with the sky.
He'd love to become one with her. But that would be awkward, he's just your average Joe. An average teenager going to high school throughout the days.
Her eyes and hair were the most attractive to him. But the way she stared at him, lustful with her gaze.
–he couldn't get enough of her– he desired more. But wouldn't reach out. She'd wait for him, though if this kept on, none of them would connect or reach with each other.
Smiling a bit. This was quite pleasant. But he wanted to go eat, so setting aside his emotions, he prepared himself to walk out the door.
"Well, I'll be going now!"
Yelling out loud, replenishing the room with new air, and an empty aesthetic of another person being here.
He was quite excited or well more curious than anything, so– hoping to reach soon, pulling up his phone.
Another time he's using 'maps' but it was very useful to him, and made going places easier.
Typing…
Outback steakhouse. Oddly, he felt a weird sense of interest brew.
He'd never had steak, he knew it was meat though. Being stuck in Japan for quite some time was boring. But he would rather stay stuck in his house.
Unfortunately, his Uncle wanted him to visit Texas after hearing the news of his parents 'absence' or downfall.
His stomach grumbled once more, atrocious to consume, and indulge in his gluttony.
A pop-up appeared on his phone.
"–Ahh it's a nice place."
Viewing the photos as he scrolled through the multiple layer images describing every aspect of the building
He thought it looked quite barbaric, and messy. But food's food, he was hungry, his gluttony wouldn't satiate on anything besides something derived with the term 'steak' in it.
Meaning, he assumed it was good, though a foolish assumption could lead to a good and pleasant time. It wasn't a clever thing to do.
"..."
Absurd, no– this… This wasn't possible, it can't be…
"Seven miles away!?"
He didn't have a car…
Which means, he'd be losing more money than he intended to.
His face shriveled up unto a vast sigh, assembled with a tired glance.
"I'm hungry though…"
It seemed quite irritating. But the food… It was a profitable reason. One that he could embrace euphoric food, and chow down into what Americans eat on the daily.
Though– he frequently one into internet controversy and memes about Americans being fat and big due to the food they eat.
He never believed it though, thinking it was kinda lame to think that way or well, stereotyping someone off of where they came from, in this situation it would be America. But currently, he's in Texas.
"This is gonna be a while…"
Pulling out his pocket, eyeing his ID card, and his debit card, which was smothered by the credit card. Carrying them was a pain, sometimes even forgetting he had them on him all the time.
A look of disapproval, and disappointment as he viewed the leftover bits of cash in his pocket.
Pressing onto the door handle.
Closing his eyes.
It wasn't a new day. But a new outlook on things, maybe only to fill his cravings, it was a new place to learn more about the abundant American foods they held.
Freeing himself from the door as he stepped out into the halls with a glint of determination.
Mission: eat American food.
Another 26 minutes later…
A door opened and a boy released himself.
Standing up, the bright building, headlights lit everywhere on the edges, and corners.
A massive symbol hangs high.
'Outback Steakhouse' he slowly read the title.
Sighing.
The flowers that held low against the perimeters of the small building, hindering on the sides and being far more noticeable from the front.
This was a new aura, unlike Japan, he didn't expect the building to look like this, at least without all the decal signs that usually would be scattered over buildings.
The blackened colors, and redlining that prospered on the outer corner of the steakhouse, the warm smell.
Smelling the food from only a few feet away, so strong, so excellent, he'd want a bite any, and anytime! Quite nervous to see the people that awaited inside.
"Mmm.."
"This… It's scent smells amazing!"
Drooling as he thought of the many craving he could be indulging in if he ran inside, and ate.
Taking one hopeful glance at his wallet, having enough to enjoy a good meal. He didn't bring all of his money, leaving most of it in his parent's room.
Hiding it under his parent's bed wasn't such a wise idea or decision. But it still managed to be well hidden enough for him to feel safe about it.
Mistakenly, he could've been seen as a five year old for hiding something under his parent's bed. But he didn't care enough to think much about it or deal with someone else's opinion.
Stepping on the concrete floor, seeing the many parked cars that intrigued him with the multiple diverse designs that caused him to gain a minor interest in them.
Currently, His car… His parents' car was stuck in a mechanic shop after their passing, or well. 2 months later, he had to pay and get it fixed as at the current state he was at, he didn't want to move at all and only rest, so- gaining back what last bits he had. The car was severely damaged, so even till now, it was still being tweaked to the best of its ability.
Internally, wishing he had his car, so he didn't have to waste money on buying a taxi driver to take him somewhere or even a Lyft driver, wasn't one to like bothering people at all.
"Oh-"
Glimpsing up. Slightly blinded by the bright sky and all the clouds that flew around it.
The bright sun beamed overhead, covering the boy's body in a ray of light, piercing throughout all the darkness that lurked.
"Alright- alright, I've been wasting too much time."
Giving up on his frail kind persona, starting to be honest about how he truly felt. Though this wasn't the best time. But he didn't care.
In actuality, there were many issues with this. Eh- but that wasn't important either, none of it was important or served any purpose on continuing, he just wanted to eat.
Seeing the double doors as loud music played in the background, muffled as the noise could only be heard from within the restaurant.
Breathing in. Wondering about the people he could meet there.
The black infused door with a symbol across it, a symbol known as "America" or well to put it simply, a symbol of a massive eagle with its wings expanded around.
Opening the door as the exquisite smell could only grow stronger.
Oddly– looking at the inside was dark. But the lights shined bright, contrasting against everything inside.
It seemed like a mess. But he didn't care much, this was most likely the normal scenery for this place, so it was fascinating nonetheless.
Besides the smell of food that coated near every inch of the building. Sniffing a minor obstacle that floated around the air
Known as flowers. An odd scenario to smell such a thing here though.
Where a feeling like this could only happen to occur, a rare scenario indeed. Something he could never expect to happen.
Until he happened to see a man and woman.
The man kneels before her with a hopeful smile.
The woman's face shriveled up into that of a blush of acceptance and affection.
The man on one knee, confessing his vast love for the woman in front of him.
"Will you take my hand into marriage?"
Holding out the ring that gleamed with a diamond edge.
-Fists enclosed.
"-Disgusting. Pitiful. Gross. Pathetic…" uttering under his breath as he saw the two lovers.
As one watched another embrace in a plea of happiness. A boy couldn't accumulate such defined 'Happiness' that didn't exist.
Trembling in the background.
"Yes!! I do!"
The woman yelled, embracing her husband, enclosing him in a hug filled with affection, and love.
"..."
-Anger could only arise, hatred could seeth further.
One accepting happiness, forming and creating it upon the realization that you'll never truly achieve it angered him, there wasn't happiness, no smiles. No anything, so why were those two lovers smiling so thoroughly, it's a fake smile, it isn't really real… Right?
'Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting…'
He couldn't allow it… Their happiness shouldn't exist, No. But he was forgetting a mere bleak question in the midst of it, saying it shouldn't exist. But why did it exist?
Maybe they are happy… Shouldn't he deserve a bit of that?
He only filled this with a dark-derived obsession, he'd surely love to go around snatching and stealing everyone's happiness only to fill his heart and end its loneliness.
Smashing and breaking. But that wasn't right… He didn't want to harm anyone, yet the boy was in dire need of such 'Happiness' but that word didn't exist in the dictionary or the world he existed in, or even the plane of existence he dwelled in.
Even- if it was fake… It would still feel something- if it was real, his heart would beat rapidly, if it was fake it would still be the same, diminishing fake love or care to be the only reality he could ever seek. The only 'real' love he would ever get. This wasn't a dream nor illusion, it's reality.
This time…
He can't run…
Running was inevitable, so he only existed to fall through the cracks in which he existed. The cold root awakening that created this new 'Facade' is another shadow of Natsuki Subaru.
"-tch"
Eyeing down to see the floor.
Punching the wall with his left fist drew blood at how hard he hit it. But due to the marriage cheers, and other commotion flowing throughout the building his fist went unheard of.
'Bastard.'
This eerie feeling that consumed him…
Blank. Consuming him in an illusion of fake thoughts.
Closing. His eyes soon forgot what the world was.
Opening once more.
A gun floated down from the sky in its heavenly golden embrace. His forefingers managed to touch the edge of the revolver. It's seemingly chill grasp that formed from his hand.
"-So heavenly…"
Caressing the trigger as it was the only thing that gave him warmth.
The silver 6-round revolver shone in the room, its glistening beauty -Oh. But the boy had something better in mind.
Pointing the gun at the man and woman.
Hesitating, he was ready to commit this sin. They shouldn't be happy, they deserve loss. They should run. Flee till there isn't anyone left. Cry. Scream. Rip, and tear inside their flesh as the revolver pierces their abdomen.
'Aren't you going to pull the trigger, Natsuki Subaru? Taking those innocent lives to justify your ugly hopelessness, peril, and loneliness?'
A figure came into existence. Appearing behind Subaru as it caressed his back, touching his right hand, holding onto the trigger alongside the boy.
'Pull it, or are you scared? Even- actively going this far, you dare not pull it? You pathetic bastard. Crying like a child, hoping for someone to pull you out of your mess. Disgusting, intolerable, pitiful. Your actions won't save you. You've fallen too far to be saved. So- accept it, indulge in your sins.'
Suddenly- another form of existence poofed out of thin air. This time with a more twisted smile, and grin.
Instantly, grabbing Subaru by the throat.
'Pull the fucking trigger, Nats-uki Subaaa-ruu~'
The unidentified being laughed at him. A man that would go so far as to draw a gun on an innocent civilian only to not shoot, a pathetic whim, in fact, a loser that shouldn't exist on the same plane of existence as normal humans.
'You want to take, and take, and take. But it seems you won't? Am I mistaken?'
Trying to utter words out, only to be silenced by himself.
None of this existed.
It was all an illusion.
Nobody existed that put himself in such peril. No demons, no. Nothing.
It was himself. Such demonic figures that existed only faded to dust. Seething throughout his fingers and falling to the core of this planet.
They were his misinterpretation of 'Demons' hounding him down until he fades to grey, rots, breaks away, and eventually passing on.
Closing his eyes only to open them once more seeing the man, and woman cheer in happiness as he saw the ring on her finger.
"Oi' Boy!"
"-Huh?"
Looking around, spotting many people eating, and dancing due to the sudden odd marriage that happened before him.
Until an odd-looking old man touched his left shoulder.
"You should hide that look boy- it's quite noticeable all the grim intents they hold, ya' know?"
The old man's dark brown eyes stared deeply into the boy's.
"-Ahh, sorry." letting out a lighthearted laugh with a smile.
The man sighed, his expression turning into that of disappointment.
Patting Subaru's shoulder once more before walking away, he had one more minor word he wanted to tell the youth.
"-Boy, you shouldn't try so hard to hide your pain."
The older man didn't know much about Subaru. But seeing the obvious pain across his complexion, it was easily noticeable that it was upsetting to anyone that cared for the boy.
Patting him once more. Nodding down as he stepped away to go speak with his buddies.
Wishing him well, shaking his hand in the air as a fellow 'goodbye' symbol.
-Staying in silence.
"..."
Enjoying his little stay at 'Outback Steakhouse' but it was time to go home.
10 hours later…
Currently around 8:46 AM, Current location: Fairmont Hotel.
Flight in exactly 3 hours.
"I've been away from home for too long it seems."
Whispering to himself in the cold room, already prepared for his flight back to Japan within a few hours.
"I'll be arriving around maybe 1:23 PM? Eh- who knows, just a guess."
Sighing under his breath.
Watching TV on the 4K screen.
As time passed by, seemingly getting bored.
Arising his phone, coming from his pocket. Checking the time.
"Only 40 minutes left… I should start hurrying there!"
He didn't have the time to miss his flight. But nor did he bring much on him for this little trip besides buying a gun. And some other minor things he didn't bring up.
Packing his bags as he ran out the door in a full sprint.
20 minutes later…
Panting out, after a long run, and a taxi drive away. Inevitably making him more tired as time passed on.
Running into the Airport doors, hearing people complain all around about his instant disregard for anyone around him, resulting in his aggressive tone and demeanor, wanting to apologize. But there wasn't enough time for that.
Showing his passport, ID, and the other trivial items he had to show including his packages, his gun, his permit for the weapon, was a slight hassle. But the worker was only doing their job so he found it commendable and honorable.
Aboard the plane, breathing in after all the slight issues he happened to come by, glad to go home, and rest in his bedroom or the couch.
Snuggling against the chair as it felt rather smooth, ignoring all else closing his eyes.
Breathing in calmly.
"-Ahh, it seems you might be tired pal?"
Looking right, seeing a tall man, gleaming with a slight look of concern, and a smile.
A man wearing a suit and tie, possibly even a butler working for someone else. Carrying something in his hands, slightly seeing. A golden small chain, interlocking with small diamonds in the middle.
"Yea, a long trip, could I assume you're going to Japan too?" inquiring a small question to the butler that sat left to him.
"Nice catch bro! Yea, I have to meet the princess." answering his question. The butler looked at the youth with a smile.
"Princess?!" he spoke wearily with confusion.
"-Ahh, yea, Eh- Princess Priscilla." responding with a firm smile, touching his cheek in a minor confusion as he saw the boy's reaction.
-Not knowing what to say… That woman with orange hair, even his heart swoon for her.
Tingling, and twisting everywhere. Her elegant bright gaze. Catching even his attention, ceasing all else only to follow through her glances.
Keeping silent before breathing in, he knew who Priscilla was. But alone, he didn't think much about it and kept it to himself as he didn't see it really worth the time to think about or even speak about.
"She sounds beautiful, well her name sounds exquisite." slightly admiring Priscilla for her beauty, and all her sexy cunning smooth ways of talking. But he was getting a bit ahead of himself.
Though… His words weren't lies.
"Yea, she's quite a beauty bro, hard woman to handle though. But if you ignore all those, she's quite the lady." admiring his princess as her butler, he was used to spending time with her. It was only 10 years or so since he met her, ever since she was a little child.
She was a bit to handle, and she seemingly hung around a young youth for a short time, even speaking with him about this on a certain occasion. Slightly delighted that she didn't hate him. But it wouldn't seem reasonable for her to show any hatred or even distaste towards him, it was just an uneasy thought that floated in the back of his head.
As time passed on, the two men had many pleasant conversations until the youth ended up falling asleep. Leaving the old man in his lonesome which he was fine with.
Hours upon hours happened to pass, and the plane managed to touch the ground, causing a minor shake, awakening Subaru, who ended up tensing up a bit.
"-Wha?!"
The older man looked at him with surprise and a calm glance.
"Just some minor plane turbulence, nothing much pal. But we've managed to arrive in Japan."
Waving his hand, revealing his wrist covered by a watch plated by silver, and black.
Nodding towards his watch as it was time to go, finding his slight interaction with the boy, satisfying, and interesting.
As he stood up and walked away as he and the boy were the last passengers on the plane at the time.
"By the way, my name is Aldebaran."
With a smile across his face as he walked out with his luggage, and other items.
The black butler suit contrasted with his watch and the other formal attire he wore, suiting him entirely well for his visit to another country in search of something.
Subaru didn't speak as time went on. But he wished he could say his final goodbyes to the man before he left. Well, his name was rather eccentric and amusing, 'Aldebaran' an interesting name nonetheless.
After more tedious traveling, managing to find his parent's house.
"It's only been a week or so- I missed this place though."
Slightly warming up, preparing himself to walk inside, accepting the warm welcome into his parent's home.
Suddenly hearing a slight commotion inside. But that didn't matter as he was exhausted. So continually opening the door using his key.
"..."
-Motion passed through the air quicker than anything he imagined.
He was on his feet. But that felt like a slight blur.
-Landing on his back roughly as he was hit down.
"Ow, wha-"
Upon seeing small eyes glance into his own. The annoyance that harbored in the air was seen through.
"Baru!! Baru!!"
A green haired girl called out to him, even though she was the one that happened to topple him into his slight tumble on the floor causing him to feel dizzy.
"Who the hell are you all?!"
The multiple glances that batted an eye at him with their interesting figure, a smile crept upon each one of their faces…
A/N: i died