A/n This is a little something I wrote after reading some "discussions" (hysterical tweets) about Lisbon finding out she was pregnant whilst Jane was away. Like many I use fanfiction to write about stuff that the show missed. I feel like we only got a glimpse of what it was like for Jane and Lisbon during his runaway meltdown.

Anyway…rambling. Enjoy!

/

Pregnant

He's been gone three days.

Tonight, they were meant to be staying at the Alhambra for a weekend of relaxation, room service and lots of cuddling but instead she is in her bedroom, alone, face as white as the sheets she lies on. Lisbon originally thought her slight nausea was because of being worried sick about her boyfriend but then her brain caught up and she realised something that has been missing from her life other than him. Her period.

She is only a few days late, but usually her cycle runs like clockwork and now she is panicking. If she is pregnant, then it wouldn't be a super terrible thing… but Jane has gone who knows where and he isn't answering his phone. He left no clues where he was going or how long he would be gone for and now she cannot reach him. Being alone right now is terrifying and it is sobering that without him she really has no-one to turn to. Not in Texas anyway.

Her family live out of state, as well as Grace, Fischer left… and she is not overly keen on having the monosyllabic Cho helping her through it. No, she is just going to have to pull herself together. Her boyfriend will come back, he must.

"I'm leaving."

His words echo around her head and she is quick to shake them out. She managed without him for two years and this isn't the same… but she wasn't pregnant then. "Damn it." Teresa huffs and forces herself to get out of bed. She doesn't know that she is pregnant, she is just guessing, the stress of the past week may have delayed her visit from mother nature. Stress has never affected it before though and she has dealt with her fair bit of stress in her life.

Get up, go to the store, and get a test – this is the mantra she is mentally repeating over and over. Maybe she is distressing about nothing and maybe it will be negative. However the thought makes her frown, does she want it to be negative? If he was here then she wouldn't have to be uneasy about any of this. Anxiety won't be doing the baby any good either… if there is a baby.

Lisbon stops for a second to take a few steady breaths in and then out again, hoping to quell her nervousness. She imagines her boyfriend guiding her actions with his voice like she has heard him do many times before, his voice is calming but it's upsetting that it isn't real.

Once she is appeased, it doesn't take her long to get ready to leave for the store. Every few minutes she is checking her phone in hope that she has had some kind of contact from him but so far, she has had no such luck. She spots the plastic cube filled with green foil wrapped mints on her coffee table and remembers the unwavering joy they were both experiencing in the moment he presented them to her. They were meant to be going away, enjoying each other's company but tragedy brought them right back down to earth with a bang. Suddenly, the honeymoon period of their relationship ended.

Looking at the sweet treats makes her queasy before she departs the condo with a long sigh.

xxx

It was strange at the store, browsing the variety of types of tests whilst trying not to get overwhelmed by the decision. She has never had to buy one before so doesn't really know which one is best, although her understanding is that she should do more than one. Her basket ended up getting filled by multiple types all marketed for early stages of pregnancy and after being shocked by the cost of it all, she was back in her car and heading home.

Now though, she is sat faltering on the edge of the bathtub, her hands trembling whilst holding the first test in her hand. It has definitely been two minutes but the thought of turning the plastic stick over, revealing the result, is terrifying to her.

There is that overwhelming feeling in her gut that she shouldn't be alone when doing this. In her dreams she always envisioned that if this were to happen then they would be sat together, waiting, holding hands in anticipation. But no, she is unaccompanied, and she cannot help but be a little angry. Her main emotion is worry, about Jane, about the current situation but there is also anger weaved in there.

Then again, there was the option to go with him… but that was never really a possibility. Maybe if it wasn't sprung upon on her, and if he gave her time to think about it, then perhaps they would be together now, but the truth is that he surprised her, and not a nice surprise either. Lisbon swallows to try and get rid of the lump in her throat. "Okay." She mutters to herself before taking a deep breath, her eyes pressed firmly shut, scared to open them.

Internally, she starts to count down from five, ready to flip over the pregnancy test when she reaches zero and her heart is hammering in her chest.

5…

She grips hard onto the edge of tub with her free hand, turning the knuckles white.

4…

Straightening her posture, she stretches out her neck from her shoulders.

3…

Hesitatingly, she opens her eyes.

2…

She peers down at the back of the white stick.

1…

She inhales sharply.

0.

Turning over the test, a gasp escapes her lips. She is pregnant.

xxx

Creating a bogus perp alert on the database to get him back was perhaps an extreme measure but she didn't know what else to do. Whilst filing the alert, she kept telling herself that she was doing all this for the FBI, but Lisbon isn't stupid. She knows her true intentions.

Watching him get escorted through the bullpen and to an interrogation room made so many emotions bubble within. Ire, anxiety, elation, but mainly relief. Relief to see him again, safe, and alive because the more calls he ignored, the more she wondered whether something horrific had happened to him. All rational thought left her because if something had happened to him then it wouldn't just be her that he left but also his unborn child, and she is sure of that now… eight tests later.

It is quickly apparent that now isn't the time to divulge her news. She doesn't think she would have revealed it at the office anyway but as soon as she realises how on edge he still is, she elects to not tell him yet because she doesn't want to spook him. Jane needs to be in a better place when he learns the news otherwise he will likely go into meltdown, especially when he is already so concerned about her safety. This is what she believes and decides anyway. It can wait, they have time.

Assuming he doesn't run off again.

If he does though, he has now promised to answer he phone calls. So that is something at least.

xxx

It is almost difficult to comprehend that he has brought them a house when only last week he was out of reach. A beautiful little shack that he plans to renovate surrounded by grassland and a large lake, it really is picturesque and will be theirs. Lisbon tries to dream what it will be like, the three of them living in this stunning location, but she cannot help the slight uncertain at the back of her mind.

She needs him to reassure her that he will not disappear off again, she has been through it three times now and she is tired of it. So tired. "I'm glad you got it. I am." Managing to pipe up, she gazes at him to try and gage his reaction. "But... I have needs, too."

"Like what?"

"I need to know that you're not gonna run away again."

"I won't."

"I need to know that you're committed to this, to us." The three of us, is what she is thinking but chooses not to say.

"I am. That's why I want to do this."

It is so good to hear him say that. To finally have some kind of confirmation that he is going to stay, and he is devoted to them, and suddenly things are a bit better in her mind. "Okay." The brunette finally smiles which he mirrors gleefully, but the question that comes out of her mouth next is spoken without her really thinking. "Then are you gonna take off your wedding ring?" Patrick's smile fades and his reaction makes her glad that she asked because, if they are going to have a baby then she doesn't know how she would feel about their kid growing up whilst he sports a wedding band tying him so tightly to his deceased wife.

It isn't that she wants to replace Angela, she really doesn't, and she knows that she never could, and this baby isn't a substitution for Charlotte. She is also not going to be upset if they never get married because the main thing is that they have each other but… she just wants to know where they stand with it all. If he is never going to be able to take it off, then she would rather know now so she can accept that, and she would. "It just… it seems like you don't want to let go of it."

"No, it's not that." He is shaking his head all while looking bereaved.

"I understand why it's difficult for you."

"It's just that I'm used to it."

Her phone ringing cuts short their conversation and very quickly the thought has left her head almost as quickly as it entered it.

xxx

They sit, overlooking the glistening lake, watching their wedding guests dance the night away. What a day. What a week.

The proposal was so out of the blue, unexpected, when he uttered the big question her heart almost leapt out of her chest in shock. She wondered whether he was committed, and he has clearly shown that he is, they are now Mr and Mrs Jane and have a wonderful future together.

It was almost taken away from them when he was kidnapped by a serial killer. The fear she felt when she was pulling him from the burning building, knowing how close she was to losing him – for real this time – she suddenly understood what he has been fretting about. Patrick doesn't want to lose her, but Teresa definitely doesn't want to lose him either.

"Don't you ever do that to me again, ever."

Joseph Keller also tried to put a dampener on the wedding celebrations, but thankfully they were ready and now they are wed. In front of their friends and family. It was quickly arranged but better than either of them ever imagined because they got to share their love with the people that they most hold dear. They're both secretly pleased that they didn't have their small, quiet service.

Earth, Wind & Fire's "September" plays loudly from the speakers as their friends laugh and party together, most of them too inebriated to have noticed the absence of the main couple of the night. They plan to slip away shortly, back to her condo, to lovingly consummate their marriage before drifting off in each other's arms. "How you feeling?"

"I am so happy." Lisbon replies to his question with a large grin for good measure and he is grinning right back at her, he gives her hand – which he holds in his – a quick squeeze.

"Me too. Me too."

This is it, she decides, now is the time. She has spent the past couple of weeks with a secret on her shoulders and she doesn't want to keep it from him anymore, they are ready to enter the next stage of their life together, today, this week, has proved that. "There's something I need to tell you."

As soon as the words leave her mouth, he turns to look at her with an inquisitive glint in his sea blue eyes. His expression is neutral, but it doesn't last long, because once his line-of-sight darts from her stunning face to the hand resting on her stomach a wave of emotion hits. His throat constricts and he swears his heart skips a beat, they are going to get their happily ever after. Something he never thought he would be able to have again. "No, you're kidding me?"

Jane is beaming now, out of sheer delight but also partially out of disbelief. "I'm not kidding."

He plays with her hand affectionately whilst his stunned but amazed mind tries to catch up with what is happening. "You are?"

"I am."

They laugh, their eyes glistening with unshed tears before they kiss tenderly and engulf each other in a hug.