Up in Hogan's Room

Another Kettenhund Production

Somewhat based on historical facts...and no I don't own the characters.

December 1942-Hammelburg Hospital

Major Zimmer gave Colonel Hogan the information...

''Colonel Hogan, the Kriegsmarine is planning something big for Silvester! The heavy cruisers Admiral Hipper and Lützow are going to raise steam from their base in Norway New Year's Eve along with an escort of 6 destroyers. That's 2 days from tomorrow!"

"Their objective is to take out the latest convoy to Murmansk. The convoy is delivering large quantities of weapons and munitions to the Russians for their next big counteroffensive.''

''London needs this information now!'' Major Zimmer was insistent.

"That convoy is escorted by only 6 Royal Navy destroyers. If we get word to London fast enough, HMS Jamaica and HMS Sheffield might be able to intercept, since they are already at Murmansk. Otherwise that convoy will be massacred."

Hogan answered...

"What about the Home Fleet at Scapa Flow and the battleships? 2 light cruisers can't handle those ships with their popguns."

"There's no time, Colonel Hogan! HMS Duke of York is undergoing a refit at Rosyth. HMS Royal Sovereign is escorting a Liverpool to Halifax convoy. HMS Anson and HMS Malaya are 3 days away from reaching Scapa Flow. And your Navy's ships assigned to the Home Fleet are back in the Pacific."

"Oh that's just great. Hipper is fast and has 8 rapid fire 8 inch cannons. Lützow is virtually a pocket battleship with his 11 inch guns.. They will shred the convoy like Swiss cheese."

''OK, Major, I'll make London gets that information so that they can augment the convoy escort as best as possible.''

''Wonderful,'' thought Hogan…

''I'm stuck in a German hospital 2 days before New Year's Eve being quarantined with Newkirk. I have vital information and I can't get back to Stalag 13.''

''And the last thing I ate was a darn bouquet of flowers which made me sick. LeBeau's sauerkraut chow mein sounds mighty good now.''

That German doctor was easily fooled. What exactly was Polaris Extremis? And that Dr. Klaus was more Dr. Quatsch than a legitimate doctor at times.

He couldn't even tell that Hogan looked nothing like an Inuit.

But on the bright side, Fräulein Gerda was Hogan's nurse. And she certainly was more charmed by Hogan than with that very touchy-feely bald German Oberst.

''I wonder what Gerda has planned for New Year's Eve. I wouldn't mind celebrating with her. Just the two of us dancing the night away with the champagne flowing.''

But the impending sortie of 2 of the Kriegsmarine's most powerful surface units was something Colonel Hogan had to deal with. London had to get that information.

''I'll think of some way to get out of here with the information. Then I'll ask Gerda out for a date for New Year's Eve.''

Notes and your World War 2 lesson

Silvester is what the Germans and Austrians call New Year's Eve.

Kriegsmarine-the WW2 German Navy (literally means 'war navy' in German)

German warships are referred to in masculine terms, so they are called 'he' instead of 'she.'

Scapa Flow was the main base of the Royal Navy's Home Fleet. Significant as the German Kaisermarine scuttled their interned ships at Scapa Flow at the end of World War 1.

The British battleships mentioned in this story are real and did escort convoys. The US Navy did have several battleships, 2 heavy cruisers, and destroyers reinforce the Home Fleet for convoy escort, but the majority of them were reassigned to the Pacific Fleet in 1942 to replace combat losses from Guadacanal.

Instead of having the Tirpitz sailing, I have the Admiral Hipper and Lützow sailing in this version of 'Up in Klink's Room.'

Which did happen in real life, as the 2 ships along with 6 destroyers sortied on New Year's Eve 1942 in an attempt to stop Convoy JW 51B from reaching Murmansk. Operation Regenbogen (Rainbow) was intended as a New Year's Day present for Hitler to ring in the New Year and bringing success in 1943.

The convoy escort that the Royal Navy had was essentially what I have in this story. Captain Robert Sherbrooke of the Royal Navy had just 6 destroyers and a few corvettes, armed trawlers and minesweepers.

His German counterpart, Admiral Otto Kummetz, had the heavy cruisers Admiral Hipper and Lützow and 6 modern destroyers. Admiral Hipper had success as a commerce raider in the early stages of the war and was well armed with 8" guns. Lützow was essentially a battleship since he mounted 11" guns. And he was-he was built as the pocket battleship Deutschland. The ship was renamed Lützow as Hitler felt that the loss of a ship named after Germany would be a blow to morale.

Thus the stage was set for the Battle of the Barents Sea. On paper, the convoy should have been annihilated by the superior force, however the result was a classic David versus Goliath battle. Captain Sherbrooke and his weak escorting ships held off the Germans for nearly 3 hours.

Captain Sherbrooke was severely wounded when a shell from the Admiral Hipper hit the bridge of his destroyer. He was blinded, but remained in command.

At the last minute, reinforcements arrived. The light cruisers HMS Jamaica and HMS Sheffield were sailing towards the convoy when they saw the gunfire. On paper they were no match for the Admiral Hipper, but they severely damaged the German cruiser. In the meantime, the Lützow was in the clear to attack the convoy, but for some reason, he did not press home the attack.

After almost 4 hours of battle, the Germans withdrew. The merchant ships reached Murmansk with nary a scratch.

Both sides lost a destroyer sunk and on the German side Admiral Hipper was severely damaged. The British also lost a minesweeper and had damage to another destroyer.

Captain Robert Sherbrooke was awarded a well deserved Victoria Cross for his skillful seamanship and bravery in the face of incredible odds. He upheld the traditions of the Royal Navy that day.

He retired as a Rear Admiral in the Royal Navy.

Hitler was so furious that he gave the orders for all surface ships of the German Navy to be scrapped. They were not scrapped-they played a role in evacuating refugees from East Prussia and Pomerania in 1945. Operation Hannibal (not the Hogan's Heroes episode) was the last major success of the surface ships of the Kriegsmarine.

The rest of the story more or less follows the scenes in the Hammelburg Hospital in the episode 'Up in Klink's Room.' The hilarious scene in the episode is Gerda trying to avoid Klink and Hogan giving a glance at her as she walks out of Klink's room after he and Schultz visits. One of the few times the Colonel doesn't have a date with a local Fräulein.

Someone on Hogan's Heroes loved ships. Bismarck, Tirpitz, and HMS Duke of York are mentioned in several episodes. And the Hammelburg Quartet (as mentioned in 'The Big Record') had as its members Herr Eugen, Herr Hipper, and Herr Raeder. An inside joke about the German navy-Eugen refers to the heavy cruiser Prinz Eugen and Hipper to the heavy cruiser Admiral Hipper.

Herr Raeder refers to Erich Raeder, commander of the Kriegsmarine. He was sacked by Hitler in the aftermath of the failure of Operation Rainbow and replaced by Karl Doenitz.

History lesson done.