Author's Note:

The story is set following the events of 04x03 "Gang of Secrets", and so will reference events up to, but not beyond that episode.

This will largely be Marichat, since they own my heart, and some of the chapters will bear links to the various Marichat May 2021 prompts - though I cannot guarantee they will be updated on the corresponding days, or anywhere close!

This is my first fanfic from within the Miraculous fandom, so I hope you enjoy it and please don't hesitate to give me any advice - it's been a long time since I've written anything.

This story can also be found on AO3 ( /works/31005959/chapters/76586510) and Wattpad ( myworks/268104219-help-me-face-the-world-inside-our-minds)

(Help Me) Face The World Inside Our Minds

Chapter 1: "It's Not Like That"

"… and if I redo the home page, I was thinking about taking down the link to the thread about Ladybug's secret identity, because, well, you know" Alya narrowed her eyes, throwing a teasing smirk towards her best friend as they left the classroom for the day, absentmindedly waving goodbye to their classmates as they did so.

"Alya…"

"Because, she's a hero and we should respect her privacy and wishes. Why? What did you think I was going to say, girl?" Although she did her best to seem disapproving, Marinette couldn't help the smile that was tugging at the corner of her lip at the jubilant thought that finally someone - Alya - knew her secret and was able and willing to support her on both sides of the mask. The teasing, though more on the nose than she perhaps would have liked in such a public place, sent a thrill through her nonetheless at the reminder that despite the fact that, well, everything had changed - in many ways absolutely nothing had. Marinette and Alya, Ladybug and Rena Rouge, best friends and teammates - always.

"That's probably a good idea," interjected Adrien turning to face the two slightly from where he was walking ahead of them aside Nino, Marinette letting out a small eep as he did so, "but what exactly has brought this on? I thought you were still pretty interested in that whole investigation?"

Alya laughed, "Well of course I am! I didn't say I'd stop the research entirely," nudging Marinette's side she continued, "I want to let her know that I'm here for her, that I want to help her in any way that I can - I'm still her number one fan after all! I just…" her face fell for a moment, "I guess, I just… realised that maybe she wouldn't be the only person to see my results."

Four pairs of feet slowed to a halt.

"Babe-"

"No, Nino, it's true isn't it? I got so invested in the whole 'being the one who would uncover this great big mystery' that I forgot that these were real people. Teenagers. That I was kind of hand delivering to Hawkmoth, a literal super villian."

"That's not true, Alya-"

"- I'm sure they don't think that-"

"-You can't think like that."

Forcing a smile that was just a tad too tight, "Just because it's how I started, doesn't mean it's how I'll go on - that's why I'm doing this, these changes I mean. I want to help them," taking her best friend's hand she finished, "I want Ladybug and Chat Noir to be proud of me. Fully. Without fear."

"They are," Marinette said, smiling softly back at her. Remembering the company they were in she continued hurriedly "I mean, I suppose, they must be - why wouldn't they be? I would be if it was me - not that it is - because how could it be? I mean -"

"Thanks girl."

"Marinette's right," Adrien added, "there's no doubt they're proud of you, and they've talked to you before right? They have to trust you. Besides, didn't you determine Ladybug was actually five thousand years old? That's hardly a teenager!"

"You guys are the best, what would I do without you?"

"Lucky you that you'll never have to find out" her boyfriend smiled at her. Grinning at each other, the four continued onwards through the school's front gates until "Woah!"

"Sorry! I'm so, so sorry!" Grimacing, a student from Miss Mendeleiev's class raced past them in a blur of pink, narrowly avoiding a collision with Nino as she went. Once sure that they would not be knocked down, the friends let out a laugh before they began to separate in their own directions: Adrien towards his car, Nino towards his home, and Marinette and Alya towards the bakery. An indecipherable look flashed across Adrien's face as he faltered slightly, seeming even more so reluctant than usual to return to the mansion. "You okay dude?" Shaking his head, Adrien smiled his patented model smile reassuringly, "Of course! Just another fight with Father. At least I got to speak to him face-to-face this morning, I guess."

Frowning, his friends looked at one another, silently wishing they could aid him in some way but knowing that issues at the Agreste mansion were far out of their control. "Text me if you need company, we'll see you tomorrow?" Nino offered, "or us!" Alya piped up, "we're always here for you too Sunshine, especially Marinette-" the girl in question proceeded to flush a deep magenta while stuttering out in what could be interpreted as either support or denial, "- as friends, right girl?"

"Friends! Yep, just friends, good friends, very-" Marinette confirmed, somewhat, leading Adrien to send her a fond look.

"Thank you guys, I'll see you tomorrow." With one final wave, he slid into the car towards his post-school scheduled photoshoot.

That left three remaining.

"I'll see you tomorrow babe," Marinette stood by as her two friends said goodbye. She was happy, of course, for them, but couldn't help the slightest twinge of want that echoed through her bones, a yearning for the casual intimacy they shared. Something that right now at least, with everything going on, she had no place for in her life. The whole thing with Luka had shown her that.

"You coming girl?" And then there were two.

Heading back towards the bakery, Marinette allowed Alya to carry the conversation, letting her voice drown out the rising anxiety about the questioning that would be sure to come. Out here, in the street, amongst the hustle and bustle of Parisian life the two were simple school girls who would gossip about boys, and fret about homework and tests, just as anyone else their age was. Behind closed doors though, well that was when Marinette would have to think about things she'd rather be forgotten and, even worse, may be coerced into speaking the words aloud.

As much joy as Alya's knowledge brought her, when she'd first uttered those life changing words in her bedroom she hadn't realised the new set of expectations it would bring. It wasn't that Alya was doing anything wrong, she was great - perfect really - but Marinette couldn't help but feel as if by now the flood gates should have opened. Alya had been respectful and offered her time and freedom to decide what, if anything, she wanted to share, yet Marinette couldn't help but feel that she should be giving her something more than what she had so far.

Weaving through customers on the shop floor and sending a wave to her parents, the two girls made their way through the Dupain-Cheng household to the sanctuary of Marinette's bedroom, taking an offered plate of treats on the way up. There was a moment of silence following the thud of the trap door closing, Tikki taking the opportunity to warn her fellow kwamis in the miracle box about the young guardian's guest, before Alya turned and asked the long awaited question: "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. Of course I'm fine!"

"Marinette. There's no one else here, you can be honest with me. Fully. I meant what I said earlier… I want to help you, I want to be there for you. I want to make you proud." Her eyes widened as she hastened to add, "To whatever extent you're comfortable with, I mean. No more, no less. We're doing this on your terms. But… just, be honest with me? Please?"

Marinette's hands stilled from where they were fussing with a spool of thread. "I do, trust you that is. And I'm proud of you, you should know that. And just you being here - you're helping me more than you could know it's just…" Marinette sighed, sagging against the edge of her desk, "this is all new to me, I'm not alone anymore and that's - that's everything. To me, I mean. But it's not, I'm not…" burying her face in her hands and leaning back against her table she groaned, "I can't tell you everything, more, just yet. Soon. You'll be the first, of course, but…"

A hand to her shoulder grounded her whirling thoughts, "Don't worry, I get it. I just wish I could do more for you. You're my best friend Mari."

"You're mine too."

Thankfully for Marinette the conversation shifted to lighter topics that were reminiscent ones they'd had in the days before: the homework due the next day (that neither had even started), Miss Bustier's baby, Alec Cataldi's latest and greatest reality show, and Marinette's most recent design-in-progress.

"- I haven't exactly finalised which trim to use on the bodice here but I think the whole thing is going well, I'm actually really pleased with it."

"You should be, girl! It looks amazing."

"Thank you," Marinette said, feeling bashful "so, um, how is the Ladyblog going?" Alya looked up in silent question, asking if she was really comfortable returning to such topics and upon receiving a small smile and nod, replied.

"It's going well. Really well actually, the traffic is up again which is great, and just yesterday I was used as a source in multiple news outlets!"

"Alya, that's brilliant!"

"I know, right? But I've just been thinking… We have a real opportunity here, don't we? To re-direct the conversation. When I started… the way I talked about you and Chat Noir, it was like you were characters - a puzzle to solve or icons to sculpt to our wishes and opinions - and that kind of set the tone for everyone else. When I became Rena Rouge," her eyes steeled determinedly, "when you trusted me to become Rena Rouge, that all changed and I kind of understood a bit better than before, you know? But it would have seemed out of character for me to change, suspicious really, and the views were rising, and I just… I'm sorry. But it's not just me to protect anymore. It's both of us now. So it's worth it."

"You don't need to-"

"I want to. You've said, numerous times now, how you thought elements of the Ladyblog were irrelevant, or inappropriate-"

"That's not what I-"

Alya continued with growing momentum, increasing in volume and gesticulation, "And I ignored you! When you were right! The threads related to your secret identity were dangerous! And I've been supporting and writing fan fiction about my best friend? Who does that? And I-"

"ALYA!" Marinette surged forwards, placing her hands on her friends shoulders in effort to quiet her. "My parents, please" sending a panicked look towards the trap door they both paused for a moment, as if waiting for a visitor to suddenly appear and announce they'd overheard everything. When it became clear that that was unlikely to happen Marinette continued, "We were both wrong. Those conversations would have happened anyway, at least by facilitating them we have the chance to monitor them. Thank you for not listening to me, I suppose" she giggled wryly.

Striding back to her desk to open up the Ladyblog on her computer, Marinette pointed at the screen. "If you really want to make some changes, maybe there's a way to do that more subtly… You could change the link on the main homepage from the 'Ladybug identity' thread to the Hawkmoth one, maybe group the more fandom related things together at first, with them differentiating on a secondary page? So it's all still there, just… not such a priority anymore? Maybe put out a poll or a forum post asking for ideas? Drive home the fact that the Ladyblog is much more widely used than it used to be. I don't know."

Marinette was met with raised eyebrows, "How I never saw it before - you really have a solution for everything, don't you?" Feeling heat rise in her cheeks, Marinette rolled her eyes waved her hand erratically, as if dispelling the sheer thought of the idea from the air. Alya was giving her far too much credit, it was Alya who had built the Ladyblog from the ground up, who had implemented all the aforementioned features, Marinette had done absolutely nothing but use what Alya had already done herself. That was very Ladybug of her, to be honest, being praised for solutions made of other peoples set up and hard work.

Speaking of Ladybug…

"Am I allowed to ask about it?"

"Ask about what?"

Alya nodded towards the computer where the mouse still hovered innocently over the proclaimed 'Shipping' tab. For a moment the heroine considered playing oblivious, pretending that she didn't know exactly what her friend was asking her and leaving the topic unaddressed. Alya would back off, she knew she would.

"I voted 'Renapace' in the shipping poll if that's what you're asking," Marinette supplied knowing full-well it wasn't and that this was the perfect moment to cut off the conversation, "my true otp. And the only ones dating so…" Oh. Okay. It looked like she was doing this.

"We've waxed poetic about Adrien, thoroughly discussed Luka, but I don't think we've ever spoken about Chat Noir," said Alya faux-nonchalantly, propping herself up besides Marinette, "what's he like, behind the scenes I mean?"

Where to even begin. Chat Noir was… aside from Alya, probably her best friend. It was crazy how little they really knew about each other, the levels of blatant deception between them even, yet Marinette knew that she would lay her life down for him in a heartbeat. Chat Noir was her confidence, her strength, her support - her partner and other half. She didn't know what she would do without him, didn't ever want to know what she'd do without him.

But it wasn't like that between them. It never had been.

Aside from Oblivio she supposed. And Chat Noir would likely disagree, as would the majority of the Parisian populous. And there was that one page in her diary that no amount of scribbling out could fully erase…

And then there was Chat Blanc.

It wasn't like that between them. It never could be.

"He's kind… and brave… and sweet… and funny. At times I mean, not when we're in a battle and he just comes up with a stupid pun or a pick-up line - like who does that? Even if… But when we're on patrols and stuff, he just, makes it all more bearable you know? All the time. I couldn't be Ladybug without him. I wouldn't want to." Her gaze was far away, and though her words were measured and carefully chosen, this was the outburst, the flooding admission that she'd been expecting to come. "Being Ladybug has always been… I wouldn't have chosen it, you know? I wouldn't give it up now but… I get the sense that he, he loves it - the helping people, the attention, the fighting. He excels out there, and he makes me want to be better. He's just… he's Chat Noir. He's my best friend." Shaking her head, she added, "Other than you, of course" with a grin that didn't quite meet her eyes.

"And you're sure he's definitely just a friend?"

"He's not interested in Marinette, he's shown that before," choosing to ignore Alya's confused look Marinette continued, "and it's hardly convenient to date behind a mask - we don't, we don't know each other Alya, not really. Besides, there's always been Adrien."

"And now Luka?"

"And now Luka. I know what you wanted to hear, but it's just not like that."

"Hey," Marinette felt Alya take her hand, the moment precious and safe between only them and the four walls of her room, "I just want you to be happy."

"I am," she swore, "I'm fine."

"- And then I nearly knocked over his best friend! I heard them all laughing at me as I went - my life is over!" Elodie Dubois panicked, pacing the length of her room on the landline to her friend, Louise. "At least he knows you exist now?" She offered, "I mean he's Adrien Agreste, to get his attention you were always going to have to do something kind of out there."

"Not knock over his friend!"

"It's a bold choice I'll admit, but just forget about it for now. Have you heard anything yet?" Elodie groaned, turning back to her laptop and refreshing her email again - nothing. "No, not yet. I embarrassed myself in front of a famous model for absolutely nothing."

"If you had a proper phone this wouldn't be a problem…" Louise sang under her breath for what felt like the hundredth time ,"It's having it's screen fixed, there's nothing I can do about it!"

"You could just not drop it?"

"This sucks…"

"You're a great photographer, you'll hear from them soon - I'm sure of it."

Slumping onto her bed, Elodie paused, the chance for her as an amateur photographer to appear in a gallery - well it would be a huge step towards her dreams.

"I hope so, I really, really hope so."