You lifted your chin up to peer back into the window positioned behind your bed. You squinted your eyes. It was still pitch black outside, even the moon was dim, wispy clouds enveloped its light like a thin veil. You could feel the bitter morning air, seeping into your small room, despite the window panes being closed tightly shut. Normally in this situation, you would flop back onto your side and burrow yourself further into your blankets, willing yourself back into a slumber. But regrettably, you had to get up. You savored the warmth of your sheets for one last fleeting moment before whipping your legs out of your bed and placing your feet on the icy tile floor. You groaned as you reached up, stretching your back. After lifting yourself up, you trudged over to your bathroom to freshen up.
You pushed the scattered clothes, books, and loose sheets of paper that rested on the floor with your feet, creating a path for you to actually move through. Before you entered the bathroom, you shot a glance over your shoulder back at the filthy state of your room. When was the last time I actually cleaned? You had always been a messy person, but as long as other people didn't see its cluttered condition, you couldn't find it in your heart to care. Besides, you always presented yourself in an upright manner, did it matter that your room was a little messy? You scrunched your nose. But this was a bit much, even for you.
But you didn't have time to dwell on that, besides, you had gotten up at the ass-crack of dawn for a reason. You yawned as you entered the bathroom, shutting the door behind you, so you could pretend the chaos residing outside of it was nonexist. Out of sight, out of mind. You turned the small glass knob on the sink, cupped some water in your hands, and began scrubbing your face vigorously with the cold water, eliminating the remaining drowsiness that you had been feeling. You scrubbed your teeth, and brushed your hair, simply letting it rest on your shoulders. Since you no longer worked directly with the Scouts, you had the privilege of doing so. When you were still a serving military member, everyday, you would style your hair up into a tight bun, to prevent it from impeding your vision. One of the little pleasantries of your life had been at the end of the day, making it back home, flopping your tired bones onto the bed, and pulling the hair tie from its taut position, feeling your scalp relax as you did.
You stared at yourself in the mirror in front of you. Your eye bags had become more prominent, but aside from that, you looked clean. Put together. You gave your reflection a practiced, polite smile. It was convincing enough. Satisfied with your appearance, you exited the bathroom, and made your way to your wardrobe. You skimmed your eyes over its contents. Eventually, you decided on, (or rather, it was the only clean item of clothing you had) a dark royal blue dress, with a white button up front, lace stitched to the front and on the tips of your sleeves. You whipped off your nightdress, exposing your bare skin to the chilly interior of your room, shivering as the cold air hit you. You pulled the dress over your body, and then leaned down, grabbing your shoes and stockings that sat at the bottom of the cedar your stockings and shoes were on, you reached over to your windowsill, and grabbed a blue velvet ribbon brooch, and carefully tied it around your neck. Lastly, you snatched your round glasses from your desk, pushing them up your nose, adjusting them slightly. Everything came into focus. You were ready to begin the day.
You walked to the door and swung it open into a long wooden hallway, and began to make your way down the tall corridor. The only thing providing you light were the small, dimly lit lanterns placed along the upper half of the cream white walls. You reached large wooden doors, releasing a small grunt as you pushed them open. You repeated this process with two more hallways, silently making your way through the old castle. Unsurprisingly, you didn't see anyone else while you walked, and it wasn't long before you had arrived at your destination, the castle's library. After your discharge from the Scouts due to your disability, Captain Erwin offered you the opportunity to stay at the Scout Headquarters, to work in record keeping, and general maintenance of the library. It's something you were eternally grateful for. You didn't have anywhere else to return.
You pushed open the library's heavy wooden doors. You could feel the long, shaky creak they released under your fingertips as you did. You made your way down the center of the long room, mentally preparing yourself for the workload that your superior had so graciously gifted you with. The library was nothing grand, but it was spacious enough to house five rows of large cedar bookshelves, although they were somewhat crowded. The floor was of the same wood that covered the long hallways you had just been walking through, but it was partially covered with a dark forest green carpet, that went through the middle of the room. Down the center of the shelves was a wide pathway, so that guests could navigate their way through the shelves, with various wooden tables, chairs, and couches for them to seat themselves. At the end of the room was a wide desk, covered in books and other clutter. Your desk. This was where you did all of your work, and spent most of your hours of most of your days.
You sat yourself down, and cracked your knuckles before looking down at the writing on your open notepad.
Levi Ackerman, Isabel Magnolia, and Furlan Church.
A little bit over a week ago, Captain Erwin had entered the library, asking you to gather as much information on these three as you possibly could. When you had inquired as to who they were, he told you that he was looking to possibly recruit them into the Scouts. You had raised an eyebrow at this, but you didn't press him any further than that. You, among many others here, placed a lot of trust in the Captain's judgement. If you recalled correctly, his squad had gone down to retrieve the three today… or was it yesterday? You furrowed your brow. You really couldn't recall. Collecting information on them had been a huge pain in the ass. Hours you had spent, scavenging through various documents, files, looking for something, anything pertaining to their backgrounds. Unfortunately, your efforts had resulted in essentially nothing. The only thing you had found on them was their wanted posters. But you supposed it was to be expected. Documents for people living in the Underground were usually spotty, if existent at all.
You snapped yourself out of your thoughts and began with the task at hand, which was reviewing and sorting through the files of the new scout recruits. Erwin apparently needed them completed by seven o clock today, hence the painstakingly early wake up time. You took a deep breath, focused your vision on the multitude of papers in front of you, and began to work.
Miraculously, you had managed to finish early. There was less work than you had anticipated. Damn, I guess I could've slept in had I really wanted to, you thought to yourself, as you leaned back into your chair, looking up to the tall ceiling. You frowned. You suspected that it would be a while before the Captain arrived to collect your work so, in the meantime, you decided to go for a breath of fresh air outside. You hoisted yourself up from your work area, and sauntered to the library's large wooden doors. Again you made your way through the corridors of the large castle, that now had the morning sun's light passing brightly through the long windows. You courteously greeted a couple of people as they passed you in the halls. Eventually, after pushing open one last door, you had made it outside. As you did, you felt a stinging cold rush of air hit your face, and shuddered.
As much as you disliked pitying yourself, you decided to take a stroll out to the training grounds to reflect on when you were an active soldier. Your eyes glazed over the wide field that used to be where you practiced hand to hand with your squadmates. You missed it.
Going outside the walls was terrifying, and it wouldn't be honest to say that you never felt like you had regretted your decision. Time and time again, you had mourned the deaths of comrades, after seeing them die in the worst ways imaginable. You still had nightmares. But it gave you purpose. It provided you some sense of control over the impending horror of those monsters outside the walls. You weren't naive enough to be oblivious to the fact that your reasons for fighting were selfish, for your own twisted sense of comfort. Wanting to feel needed...but was there really any harm in it? Alas, being partially deaf and continuing on expeditions was too high of a risk. Communication was key, and if you couldn't communicate properly with the rest of the group, you were extra baggage. Another corpse thrown into the back of a cart to be pulled through the gawking crowds of the inner city. You were only partially deaf, so in combination with being able to somewhat hear people speaking very loudly, and the fact that you could read lips, you were still able to communicate normally with those around you. You weren't entirely useless.
You continued walking along the side of the fields, suddenly halting at an idea. Maybe if I go to the common area, I can say hi to Hange. Recently, you'd been so swamped with work that you couldn't have your little meetings with them. . With that, you swiftly changed your direction and began to head over to see Hange. On the off chance that they were on break, maybe you could talk with them briefly, if they were still working, you would head back to the library. You bit your lip in thought, and brought your hands up to hug your arms, rubbing them for some heat as you walked.
To your surprise, when you arrived, there was an announcement being made. The scouts were lined up in rows, eyes up at the front. You halted for a moment, then you made your way up to where you were as close as you could be to the front, while still placed behind the soldiers. You saw Commander Keith Shadis standing in the front, along with three others you didn't recognize. You inched a little further, leaning your head in a tad so that you could get a better view of the Commander's lips. You strained your eyes.
"ATTENTION ALL" Keith bellowed , looking through the crowd in front of him. "FROM TODAY, THESE THREE WILL BE FIGHTING ALONGSIDE YOU ALL." The nice thing about Shadis was that he shouted about every sentence that came out of his mouth, so you could hear some of the things he was saying.
Ah, so these must be the three that you were researching. You shifted your focus to the strangers standing next to Shadis.
The girl on the left looked younger than the other two, chestnut brown hair framed her face, which housed fierce green eyes and an eager smile. She had a petite, but still athletic looking figure. At the opposite end of her was a tall blonde man. Handsome, you noted, silently. He had light hazel eyes, that seemed a bit apprehensive in front of the crowd, arms folded stiffly behind his back. Finally your eyes laid on the man in the middle. Short . Moving on from his height, you began to observe his other features. He had jet black hair, styled into a neat undercut. His mouth was set in a hard set line, unfaltering. Your eyes moved up his face, and you made note of his pale complexion, as you reached his eyes... they surprised you. Damn, if stares could kill… Piercing, frigid black eyes is what you were met with. Under them were prominent eye bags that strongly contrasted his pale face. Weary. You found that you were staring at him, your eyes unknowingly drawn to his presence. WIthout you realizing, his eyes had turned onto you. When you noticed, it gave you a start, and you quickly tore your own eyes away from him, suddenly finding the dirt on the ground insanely fascinating. After a couple of seconds, you dared to look up again, and you saw that he had returned his focus back to the crowd.
Suddenly you felt embarrassed, not because he had caught you staring, but because you had folded so easily under his gaze. Everyone in the vicinity was staring at him, so it's not like he caught you doing anything wrong, and yet you reacted like a child that had gotten caught stealing a cookie from the jar by their mother. You sighed before glancing back up to the front. You saw the girl's lips moving. You assumed they were introducing themselves, but you couldn't hear them all that well anyways, and besides, you already knew who all three of them were. I suppose I can talk to Hange later anyways, perhaps during lunch… With that, you pivoted on your left heel, swiftly turning your back to the crowd, and began a stride back to the library.
You had been sitting at your desk, head buried in a book that studied human biology, for about ten minutes. When it came to reading, you usually preferred storybooks, but you figured you might as well pull out something different, from the essentially untouched science section of the library. Prions, infectious, disease causing agents, unlike bacteria and parasites, prions are not fully living organisms. Because of this, you cannot kill a prion. They are deformed pieces of protein that can eventually destroy th- You felt a light tap on your shoulder. You looked up and saw a tall blonde man with bright blue eyes looking down at you. Erwin. Most of the people at headquarters were aware of your hearing impediment, so to avoid shouting or getting very close to you, they usually gave you a light tap on your shoulder to capture your attention. You gave him a pursed smile. You pulled out an old navy blue ribbon from your dress pocket and placed it on the page, closing the book softly.
"Hello Captain, what can I do for you?" you said as you raised yourself up from your chair, so he didn't have to crane his neck down to speak. You focused your gaze to his lips.
"Good afternoon" he said, offering you a curt smile. "I'm sure you recall those three new recruits? I believe I saw you in the back as they were being introduced." you nodded at this before speaking.
"Yes I am, sir. I had come over to give my regards to Hange, but decided against it... how are they Captain?" you inquired, leaning back against the wall behind you, "Do they live up to your expectations?"
He chuckled at this,
"They do." He lowered his voice and continued. You saw a glint pass through his icy blue eyes as he spoke, but you couldn't make out the emotion triggering it. A small shiver ran down your spine. Something about his gaze was unnerving.
"One of them in particular, they move like nothing I've ever seen."
A short pause in the conversation followed his statement. His eyes were on you, but you could tell he was somewhere else. You began to feel minute under his eyes. Hastily you broke the eye contact between the two of you, swallowing quietly. Just as you were about to ask for further explanation, he cleared his throat.
"As I was going to say, those new recruits should be on their way here right now, I instructed them to meet with you after they settled into their lodgings, so you could put down some information for their general records."
You shifted back up from the wall slightly. You debated in your head whether to ask him what you had intended on earlier, or just dropping it, and quickly settled on the latter.
"I can do that." You nodded and smiled up at him.
He nodded back. "Thank you, I wanted to give you a heads up, so that you wouldn't be too surprised when they arrive."
"Thank you for the concern Captain." you chuckled.
He gave you a small smile, before adjusting his coat and heading back to the door.
"Have a good afternoon.." He said, giving you a small wave as he turned his back to you.
"To you as well, sir."
With that, he had exited the room, leaving you on your own once again. You stretched, letting out a soft groan, before returning to your desk and back to your reading. All that was left to do now was to wait for their arrival.
You had begrudgingly tasked yourself with the job of organizing your disgusting desk. You had begun by putting all the books back in their rightful places along the shelves, and had just started sorting through the scattered papers, Trash, Trash, Important, I might need that later, Trash, I'll keep this one just in case, Trash... Suddenly, you noticed some movement along the top of your peripheral vision, and you shot your head up, eyes wide... Ah, it was the three musketeers, you relaxed in your seat. Furlan and Isabel looked at you somewhat expectantly, and you noticed Furlan's mouth moving, but you couldn't quite catch the words. You looked at the man standing behind the two. Levi wore a bored expression on his face. They looked like they had been waiting. That's a little embarrassing. You felt your cheeks flush, before standing up and plastering a smile onto your face.
"So sorry about that, I suppose I was a little too invested in my cleaning there." You paused briefly for any reaction from them. When they said nothing, you introduced yourself quietly, and you continued.
"I understand that Captain Erwin sent you here so I could write you guys some records, so let's get into that." you released a pensive chuckle, and whipped around towards your desk, hastily grabbing a blank notepad and a pen from it.
"Shall we begin with you?" you asked, turning to the young girl.
"Sure!" she gave you a cheeky grin, and you couldn't help but to return the smile.
"Very good, could we start with your full name? " You turned your focus to her lips.
"Isabel Magnolia" You hummed at this.
"And your age?"
"I dunno… If I had to guess I'd say around 19?" She looked up for a moment, pondering. "Or maybe younger than that? I'm not enti- "
She suddenly stopped talking, and you tore your focus away from her mouth back to her eyes as she did.
"Is something the matter, Isabel?"
"Why dontcha look me in the eyes when I'm talking?" she asked, bluntly.
Something that you had struggled with since your accident was interpreting the tone of others when they spoke to you. You knew the words, but were they being sarcastic? Were they upset with you? Joking? Normally, if someone had said that to you, you might've assumed that they were angry with you, But as you observed Isabel, you only saw genuine curiosity plastered across her face, her wide green eyes looking at you, lips sealed shut, patiently awaiting your answer. How refreshing. You laughed a little bit before answering,
"Ah, that's because I'm partially deaf in both of my ears," you explained kindly. "So to communicate with others," You lightly tapped on your own lips with your finger, "I have to rely heavily on my ability to read their lips." You saw her eyes light up.
"Wow, really!?" She exclaimed, slamming her hands against your desk, shaking its contents, "That's so cool!" She suddenly faltered, before lowering her voice down to its original volume. Her mood certainly switched quickly.
"So...ya can't hear me at all right now?" She asked, cautiously.
"RIght now I can somewhat hear the pitch of your voice, but it would be difficult to understand you without looking at your lips, although, when you were shouting, I could hear you a bit more clearly."
"SHOULD I SHOUT THEN?"
You jumped a bit, and you stifled a snort before looking back at her.
"No need for that, I can understand perfectly well with lip reading, also, the difference in what I hear when you shout isn't all that great anyway." You answered. You cleared your throat and prayed the slight heat that you had felt trickle onto your face after snorting like a pig wasn't noticeable. "And besides " You glanced back at her two comrades, Farlan seemed amused, but Levi wore an irked expression on his face. "I don't think the hearing people around you would appreciate it."
"Were ya born deaf, or were ya in a-"
"Hey idiot, we got things to do here y'know? " Levi interjected, raising an annoyed eyebrow at his partner. "She didn't even get through two questions before you interrupted her, and we still have to go get checked up by the nurse after this." Prick. Immediately you felt guilty after that thought. Although he could've been kinder, he was actually correct. You turned to Isabel, and saw that she wore a dejected look on her face at the man's harsh words. I guess she really cares about what he thinks of her. You decided to speak again.
"Ah, he does have a point there, we can always chat another time if you're still curious Isabel." You said softly, "You can usually find me in here, but let's continue, shall we?" You gave her a genuine smile as you lifted your notepad back up to write on it, and she seemed to perk up at your offer.
The results of your questioning had been pretty uniform among the three of them. They all had a good idea of their ages, but they couldn't be certain. They couldn't tell you where they were born, or the names of their parents, aside from Levi, who was able to provide a name for his mother, Kuchel Ackerman. Because of their lack of answers, the questioning was promptly wrapped up. Although you didn't get a lot of information about their backgrounds, it wasn't a complete waste. You had decided that you really liked Isabel. She had a contagious zealous personality, the type that you didn't often see among military members...she reminded you of an old friend. And Furlan, who had seemed stiff at the beginning of your meeting, had quickly gotten comfortable, playfully bantering and joshing around with you. Witty, smart, good looking, what more could you ask for? And lastly Levi. You learned absolutely nothing about the type of man he was. He gave you curt, short answers that left nothing to the imagination. He wore a disinterested look on his face, his dark eyes seemed to be bore right through when he looked at you. From this interaction, you could only assume he was the most dull man on the planet, but you knew that couldn't be the reality of the situation. Simply put, he was a mystery, and that irritated you beyond belief, as someone who was annoyingly curious.
Since the questioning was completed, you only had one thing left to do, which was to have them each copy their signatures down, just to have it on paper. You handed them each a paper and a pen, and headed back to your original place at your desk, hoping to continue where you had left off in your cleaning. But as soon as you turned your back to them, you felt a tap on your shoulder, and turned to see Isabel looking at you sheepishly, fiddling with the pen in her hands. You blinked.
"Is something the matter?"
"I'm sorry" She mumbled, turning her eyes to the floor, a faint blush covering her face, "I don't really know how to write a signature."
You felt a pang of guilt in your chest for putting her in a difficult situation, but you didn't allow any of it to appear on your expression. Instead, you gave her a comforting smile.
"That's perfectly fine, you can always just do some sort of figure, or if you'd like I can teach you a simple one for your name. "
"...Really?" The nervousness was slowly dissipating.
"Of course! I'll show you right now." you said eagerly, spinning around to grab your own pen. You walked back over to Isabel, grabbing her hand gingerly, and leading her to one of the tables at the center of the library. You sat her down, and pulled up a second chair so that you were sitting closely to her.
"Some people when signing documents, will only use their first name, their last, or both, some will even abbreviate. A lot of them honestly look like random scribbles." you explained, looking at her. You chewed your lip in thought. "How about we write yours as 'Isa Magnol?" You asked her.
She nodded her head quickly, but you could tell she was still confused.
"Okay!"
"Okay! I'll write it down right now, and you can practice it every now and then, until you get it." You strengthened your grip on your pen and jotted her name down on the sheet.
? ﾝﾓﾼ? ﾝﾓﾜ? ﾝﾓﾰ? ﾝﾓﾸ?
You turned your head to her, satisfied.
"Well? What do you think of it?"
"It's really pretty." She said gently. Her eyes were slightly wide in awe, but they were quickly shrouded with doubt as she glanced back at you.
"...But it looks kinda complicated, will I really be able to do this?"
"Of course you can! You seem very capable!" You chirped. "Here, give me a moment." You stood yourself up from your chair and stationed yourself behind her as she whipped her head around at you in confusion. You leaned forward over her, so that your chest brushed lightly against her back, and grabbed her right hand, which was still holding the pen, in your own.
"Okay" You said, lowering your voice, you were already close to her ear. "I'm going to show you the motions of it, and then with that, you'll be able to try it on your own."
She nodded, determined. You felt her grip tighten around the pen.
Slowly, so that she would be able to remember the movements, you moved her hand with your own across the paper, all while giving her quiet instruction for each letter. After you were done, you raised yourself up, looking down at the paper. It was a bit sloppier than your own, but it still looked neat.
"How nice!" You praised. "Okay Isabel, you keep the first piece of paper so that you have something to reference when you practice, and I'll take this one as your official signature." You said, as you looked back down at her. She wore a giant grin on her face, smiling silently at the piece of paper, and once again, you couldn't help but smile down at her too. Her energy was truely infectious. Suddenly, you became hyper aware of the two other people in the room, and you jerked your head back up at them. You looked at Levi, his face appeared softer than before... or maybe not? Or perhaps you just made that up in your mind due to his overall lack of expression.
"I'm sorry, I got a little distracted, didn't I?," you said, letting out a nervous laugh, "If you guys have completed your signatures I can take them right now." you said, as you made your way back to them. As Levi stretched his arm out to give you his sheet, Furlan quickly shoved his own behind his back.
"Excuse me!" He said abruptly. You cocked your head in surprise.
"Yes?"
"Well, as it turns out, I was actually having some trouble with my signature as well. " He said nervously, hand at the back of his head. He looked a little red. You raised an eyebrow, what did he have on the paper, then?
"...Oh? With what part specifically?" you questioned.
"W-well... I was thinking it would be useful to me if you 'Showed me the motions of it' like you did with Isabel th-" He was swiftly cut off with an elbow to gut from Levi, and he doubled over, coughing. Your eyes widened startled by the sudden act of violence.
"We don't have any more time to dilly dally around here, we should've left ten minutes ago" Levi said flatly. "Just give her what you have."
Furlan sighed, shooting his partner a quick glare, and defeatedly, handed the paper over to you. It felt awkward now, so you didn't try to say anything else. You silently took the paper and gave Furlan a small, pitying smile. You took the papers back to your desk, reached down and hurriedly filed them away in your drawer. You looked back up to face them with another polite smile.
"And with that, you guys are all done here."
"Thank ya! I'll try to come here when I can to say hi!" Isabel said eagerly.
"I look forward to that very much." You responded. You paused for a moment, and turned your attention to the other two.
"The nurses office should be two doors down, on the right side of this hallway, you can't miss it." You instructed. Levi gave you a small nod, before turning around and heading towards the door, and the others followed suit. Once you saw the large wooden doors close, you sighed loudly, and collapsed back into your desk chair with a thud. Talking to people sure was tiring.