In case you were wondering, the hot sauce in question is Nando's extra hot sauce.

Dipper and Mabel were running desperately through the twisting halls of the Fearamid, going blindly in any direction Bill wasn't. They could hear the triangle, transformed into a horrifying, sharp-toothed monstrosity, not far behind.

"I'LL MAKE YOU KIDS INTO TOAST AND SERVE YOU TO YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS!" he shouted.

"Mabel," Dipper breathed, "we can't run forever. Give me the spray paint, and I'll distract Bill."

"What?! No! That's suicide!"

She tripped and fell, the can of paint rolling out of her skirt pocket. (Wait, do skirts have pockets? I'm a guy. Let's just assume that this skirt does.)

Dipper immediately stopped.

"No! Mabel!"

He helped her up.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Y-yeah."

"Don't worry. Go!"

She started running again, ignoring the spray paint. Dipper looked at it in hesitation, but picked it up and turned around.

"OH, THERE HE IS! OL' PINE TREE'S TRYING TO BE A HERO! HOW HILARIOUS!" WAIT, WHAT'S THAT IN YOUR HA-"

Before the dream demon could react, he had been sprayed in the eye.

He cried out in pain. "OH! WHY DO YOU FEEL THE NEED?! YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT IS IT!"

Dipper began to float in the air.

"Oh-oh no…" he whispered shakily.

"TIME FOR YOU TO GET A TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE!"

Bill, still holding Dipper in the air, began to crawl back to the throne room, in which Stan and Ford had successfully swapped outfits in.

Stan sniffed Ford's coat. "Ugh… it smells like it hasn't been washed in thirty years…"

"Thirty-one years, you mean," his brother replied.

Stan glared at him in concern.

"In hindsight, maybe I shouldn't have said anything..."

From the distance, they could hear the thumping of Bill making his way back to the throne room.

He crawled in, with Dipper clutched in one of his hands.

"HEY THERE SIXER! MACKEREL! NICE TO SEE YA!"

"Ford" saw his great niece being held by Bill.

"Dipper! Are you okay?!" he shouted in a perfect replication of his twin brother's voice.

"I'm fine!" he yelled back. "I think…"

"OH! LITTLE PINE TREE HERE! OOH, I'M GONNA GET SWEET REVENGE ON HIM… NO, SPICY REVENGE!"

Stan and Ford were struck with horror.

"Wait! Bill! Stop! I have the equation! Just don't hurt him!"

"GOOD CHOICE, SIXER. BUT FIRST, I'VE GOTTA DO THIS."

He reverted to his triangle form and dropped Dipper to the ground.

"No! Oh god, this is all my fault," "Ford" said.

Bill materialised a bottle of hot sauce in his hand. "And I know just the thing to do that!"

He lifted Dipper into the air again, and turned him sideways. The triangle used a third hand to open the sauce, and began to pour it into Dipper's eye.

"This is what you get for all of that eye abuse!"

The sauce dripped onto one of his eyes, and Dipper cried out. He tipped some more on, and watched on in glee as the poor kid suffered.

"Awww… is the other one feeling left out?"

He poured some on his other eye, and watched Dipper's agony.

He cackled, and turned to "Ford".

"Now… about that deal…"

Then Bill died and the world was saved. Stan got his memory back, yada yada, everyone got their happy ending, except for Pacifica who is teased by everyone about Dipper. The end, you're welcome.