This ... was bad.
Not that the majority of experiences in Marinette's tenure as Ladybug, save for those rooftop dates, uh friendship meetings, er strategy sessions with Chat Noir, were pleasant by any means, as evidenced by the wailing, teary emotional breakdowns, panic attacks, fractured romantic relationships, ruined friendships-
Ugh.
Not the time for a disaster spiral, Disasternette.
Not when she was currently locked in mortal combat with a fluffy, vaguely bear-ish monstrosity, an affront to all good taste, who had been rampaging across the city, alternating between assailing random civilians with some form of ... animalizing ray, and Judo-flipping people whom it deemed to be unworthy of its other power into walls.
Apparently, the gentleman in this... rejected high-school basketball mascot costume wanted to bring people and pets closer together.
Dear God, please don't let that mean that he had a pet bear, because that was cruel and totally illegal, not that stuffed-ursine/teddy-bear terrorism was any less so, but think of the poor animal!
Such solidarity between animal and man was to be brought about by transforming people into, well, animals.
But only mentally.
Because akumas didn't have to make sense.
The city was now half populated by, primarily, humanoid dogs and cats, living together in mass hysteria.
And Chat Noir, as was his want, was now to be counted among them, having leapt into the path of a yellow-hued transformation beam just moments before it struck Ladybug while she had been distracted by the arrival of an old foe, the now gloating Mayura.
Taciturn as ever, she stalked towards the poor cat as Ladybug found herself reengaged by the akuma himself. Utterly and blissfully unaware of the events around him, Chat Noir was simply sitting on his butt, looking like a thoroughly confused kitten, and staring out at the Parisian skyline from their rooftop.
And, no, he wasn't adorable at all as he cocked his head a loosed a confused mrow? that didn't make Ladybug not want to scoop him up into her lap and give him head-scritches for days while he purred up a storm.
Was that a double negative?
Possibly.
But not important right, now, brain!
Ladybug focused and got the job done; Marinette thirsted after Adrien and disaster spiraled.
Loosing a sound that was roughly equivalent to a French version of ara-ara, Mayura brandished her feathery fan in a swirling display very much akin to a peacock showing off his tail in an attempt to get some.
Which appeared to be a significant tactical miscalculation on her part, a blur of liquid-black lightning flashing through the air, staggering the villain and knocking her down to her rear, splayed out on the rooftop with her slit dress flaring and fluttering in the tailwind of the assault.
Out of a sense of propriety, both Ladybug and the akuma looked away, flushing and wide-eyed.
What fool designed a super-villain costume with a hip-high split in the skirt?
Yes, it showed off some shapely leg, but also other things if you took a tumble or were leaping about in battle.
The only person not interested in the least by frilly things was currently batting away at Mayura's purloined fan. Chat rolled about on the rooftop, loosing massive rumbling growls as he pounced and swatted at the weapon, pausing in his assault to skitter around the bedraggled object, then drop prone, butt-wiggling in excitement as he stalked his prey, only to leap into the fray again.
"Stop that, you mangy stray!" Mayura cried out, striding towards the playful human-kitten as she shook her fist in chastisement. His hackles shot up in response while he scooped the feathery remnants of what had once been an admittedly exquisite regalia into his mouth and darted off along the roof on all fours, claws scrambling over brickwork as he bounced off chimneys and outcroppings.
What followed was a rather surreal Tom and Jerry style chase of epic proportions that both Ladybug and Hawkmoth's possessed akuma alike had to stop to watch, just for a few seconds, before reengaging.
Mayura slipped, skid, and slued her way over the rooftops, Chat one-to-five steps and effortlessly lazy leaps ahead of her as the villainess smacked into a chimney face-first, took a tumble off the edge of the roof, and tripped over the train of her impractically-long skirt on more than one occasion.
Dogged determination and kitten-stubbornness mingled with bestial glee over the chase warred, and might have permitted their altercation to continue indefinitely, had Mayura not stopped short at a sudden wrinkling up of Chat's face just as he leapt up to the edge of the adjoining building.
A red flush burst across his cheeks, his head tossing to and fro while he puffed and panted, drooling slightly around the fan, nose twitching.
Then, just when it looked like the feline was going to either scream in outrage, muffled though it might have been by the feathery fan in his mouth, or vomit, he loosed the most colossal sneeze Ladybug had ever heard, the fan in his mouth exploding like a bundle of broken birds' wings being smacked with a sledgehammer.
She also just held off snorting at the sight of Mayura's jaw dropping nearly to her chest as she watched the feathers flying.
One slowly fluttered down to land neatly on her head, just above her twitching brow.
With a sputtery raspberry, Chat spat out the remnants of the manged multi-hued fan. In a bent tangle of half-eaten feathers, plumage ruffled and ripped out, the once-proud weapon sat there on the rooftop, fluttering slightly in the wind ... what parts of it weren't gummed up with kitten saliva, that was.
Settling on his haunches to lave the back of his glove with slow and somehow sexy adorable passes of his tongue, Chat levelled a dubious and very nearly indignant glare at the fan, clearly thoroughly offended by the object's sudden but inevitable betrayal.
"Mayura, enough of this!" Hawkmoth croaked through his akuma, seconds before Ladybug took advantage of his distraction to clock him in the face with her yo-yo. Clutching at his possibly-dislocated jaw and broken nose, the akuma mumbled, "'Oax 'im in'oo 'iving oo 'is mira'lous!"
The apparently long-suffering henchwoman rolled her eyes to the sky and muttered something about needing a raise before sighing and plastering on a massive and terribly unnatural grin.
Ladybug would have intervened, but the akuma intercepted her, locking her into a bear-wrestling match that was certainly not favourable to her given her size and preferences for ranged combat using her yo-yo.
"Here kitty," Mayura cooed, grimacing smile still in place as she spared her once-proud weapon a mournful glance, taking a step closer to the cat whose eyes narrowed even further. "Good kitty. Just give me that ring of yours, and I'll let you have all the feathers you want."
"Don't do it, Chat!" Ladybug screamed. There was no way for her to slip the grasp of the akuma that held her firm, though. Her poor, defenceless kitty was doomed! She had failed, as she always knew that she would.
Just when all seemed lost, a gust of wind ruffled the trailing feathered- hem of Mayura's slinky, form-fitting dress that did not make Marinette kind of jealous because she had a rail-thin figure in stark contrast to the older woman's svelte yet shapely and winsome silhouette.
Droopy belt-tail shooting ram-rod straight in a physics and logic-defying display of excitement – Oh, God. Do not think of an excited Chat with his erect tail pointing right in her face! - Chat dropped to all fours, butt wiggling in the air as he pawed at the ground, claws scitter-scattering.
"W-what are you doing?" Mayura asked, frankly looking utterly disgusted at the wriggly feline inching closer to her, so much so that Marinette nearly snorted in laughter as the mature, cool, and buxom voluble – yes, voluble was a very dry word because this was a dry situation - woman actually took a step backwards.
Then, a scrabbling jerk and pounce, Chat's eyes fixed on the trailing hem of her dress.
"Gah!" With a shriek that pierced the heavens and sent a flock of much wiser birds scattering and fleeing in the distance, Mayura jerked her foot away, far too late, as Chat Noir batted and clawed at the edges of her designer dress. A sharp scrabbling symphony of ripping and tearing noises that had the akuma grimacing in horror, purple-butterfly emblem wavering over his eyes, resounded across the roof.
"My dress!" Mayura squawked like the bird she was even though Peafowl did not actually squawk so much as warble and scream... which she also did when she began to tumble backwards. Levelling a quick attempted kick towards Chat's face had no effect whatsoever as the nimble cat ducked and bobbed out of the way, chasing the as yet unmolested feathered edges of her dress that were now getting caught up in her legs.
For their parts, Ladybug and Hawkmoth inhabiting his akuma could only look on in horror, their own struggle completely forgotten, as Mayura lashed out, leapt away, cried, pleaded, and thrashed to try to free herself from the frisky feline, but every whine was ignore; every blow dodged as the cat bounced and clawed away at her skirt, leaving it in ragged strips that swished back and forth to expose her shins, skin-tight leggings likewise torn apart by errant swipes of kitten-claws.
Nice shins and thighs, too, except for the bloody scratches.
That too kind of enthralled Hawkmoth and Ladybug alike.
Also, Ladybug realized that she might have a thing for older women.
Who knew?
Eventually, after minutes of bootless struggle, a winded Mayura, makeup trails mingled with sweat and frustrated tears smearing her cheeks and chest heaving, finally dropped to her butt on the dingy roof, and allowed Chat to have his way with her.
So, of course, that meant that he wandered off immediately, utterly disinterested in the shreds of her dress or the mangled feathered fan that he had obliterated.
Then she started to cry.
Whether that was with relief, exhaustion, frustration, or, uh, disappointment but why would a woman be disappointed about having been ignored and abandoned by the svelte, leather-clad cat who was now perched on a chimney, getting his dexterous paws all clean by licking them over and over again with that rough sand-papery pink tongue that flicked out of his mouth to lave away the utter filthiness on display and also some of the salty sweat around his own kissable tempting engorged – yes, engorged would do in a pinch – lips while staring out at the two women with low, sultry hooded-eyes, all green and toxic like battery acid that could set every inch of her skin tingling as it washed over her in waves and-
Did-
Did she just moan?
Hawkmoth, by way of his akuma, looked to be turning green.
No.
No; she most assuredly did not moan.
That was Mayura.
She knew that now because the most recent moan was of a decidedly higher pitch.
That one was hers.
The differences... and the similarities... were quite stark.
Nearly in unison, Mayura and Ladybug turned from the lurid display Chat was putting on, the spell broken, and they stared at their mirrored expressions of – of disgust.
Yes.
Pure disgust.
At each other.
Because really now!
Get a hold of yourself, woman.
After Mayura had fled, clutching at the sundered edges of her costume, it took Ladybug no time at all to pluck the akumatized object from the other stupefied villain – who really did seem green around the gills, which made for an odd sight considering the fact that his bear-face was fully furred - break it, and cleanse the butterfly within.
Chest puffed-up, her smugly self-satisfied cat started to preen his shoulder, mewing away happily as the little pure-white butterfly took to the sky.
Time to cast the miraculous cure.
Right?
"Here, Kitty," she heard herself say as she crouched down, beckoning her - her just a friend towards her. With a wiggle and a happy leap, Chat clambered and flopped over to her, looking more like a flopsy puppy than a regal cat as he plopped down next to her on the roof, smacker her into a seated position when he dropped his head on her lap. The full-throated grumbling purr that burst out of his chest did not do things to her.
It did everything to her.
Everything conceivable to a woman, and many other things that were just on the horizon of consciousness and possibility unexplored. Undiscovered... countries, as it were.
A few minutes of indulgence couldn't really hurt, right? Chat was perfectly fine, and, indeed, looked like he was catching up on some much-needed nap-time as he butted his fluffy-golden noggin against her thigh, kneading her leg with massive, affectionate paws for a minute, and then plopped down again to fall asleep.
The butterflies in her belly that burst up in a confused cacophony as he snuffled up to her stomach, breathed in her scent, and closed his eyes to drift off almost immediately had no impact whatsoever on her decision.
Ladybug was better than that, you see.
No, you're the one lying to yourself!
Just a few minutes.
Two hours of kitten napping and head scratching and murring motor-boat purring accompanied by kneading of a taut Ladybug-belly and thighs later, Ladybug cast her miraculous cure.
And two hours of internet research after that (it really only took a minute, but Marinette needed time to disaster-spiral, phone Alya because thank God she knew about Ladybug and myriad fetishes, wail, consult the kwami, and do... other things), Marinette realized that she had a pet-play kink.
As it turned out, everyone concerned was okay with that because open communication regarding needs and interests both sexual and mundane was the key to healthy relationships.
It wasn't long before Alya's loose lips hoisted the sail on a ship, as Adrien learnt of Marinette's kinks that were in suspicious alignment with his hidden lifestyle as a BDSM pet-play fetishistic furry, as was obvious from his costume and the numerous times he had been forced to prance around as a cat both by akumas and Ladybug herself.
That revelation led to an awkward situation in a janitor's closet and an identity reveal when Plagg threw up in Adrien's bag.
And Adrien, Marinette, Chat Noir, and Ladybug had very, very healthy relations.
At least after they bought collars for Chat Noir and Adrien alike.
All the better to ding his bell, in or out of costume.