Ryoga idly skipped a stone across the surface of the lake. Six bounces. He smiled. That was pretty good.

It was a nice lake. He wondered which one it could be. Biwa? Kasumigaura? Tanganyika?

Quacking loudly, a duck wearing thick glasses paddled over to him and hopped up onto the shore. "Right. The lake in Shakujii Park. Again."

The duck waddled up next to him. Ryoga leaned over. "Want to change back?"

The quack it gave sounded affirmative. Ryoga fetched his hot water bottle and poured its contents onto it.

The duck quickly became a man, who clothed himself in milliseconds with robes seemingly brought out of thin air. "Thanks, Hibiki."

"No problem." Ryoga skipped another stone. "You'd do the same for me. You have done the same for me."

Ryoga skipped a stone again.

"If you want, I can take you to the Tendo dojo. As repayment."

Ryoga looked for a suitable stone-he picked one up, then discarded it as substandard. "Eh, no thanks."

"You don't want to go to Akane's house? What could have… Oh." Mousse winced sympathetically. "You alright?"

Ryoga found a stone that met his standards and skipped it. "No, not really. Had a fight with Saotome. Went badly. Really badly. Told him I was going to the mountains to train." He looked for another stone. "That was half an hour ago. My pride demands I stay away for longer than that."

Mousse felt second-hand humiliation on his friend's behalf. He gave Ryoga an encouraging pat on the back. "It'll be okay. You'll show him next time."

"I won't, but thanks anyway. You're a good guy." Ryoga sighed and lay back on the ground. "I just don't even know what I'm doing anymore. Every time I go over there, do I spend time with Akane? No. I just immediately start fighting Saotome. And at this point, I don't even know what I'm fighting about. Usually it's him being a dick to me. I think he tries to intentionally annoy me for fun."

"Maybe you just need to ignore him and ask Akane on a date. She might say yes."

Ryoga snorted. "Would Shampoo say yes if you asked her on a date?"

"Shampoo is a much different case."

"She doesn't hate you, you know." Ryoga sat up and gave him an encouraging smile.

"She doesn't like me, though. Not like Akane likes you."

"That's easy to fix. Just become her pet."

Mousse snickered. After a few seconds, Ryoga chuckled with him, then put his arm on Mousse's shoulder. "Thanks."

"Thanks for what?"

"Thanks for talking with me. For being there. I can honestly say I feel a little better right now. It's easy to talk to you, you know?"

"Same to you. Probably it's that we've just got a lot in common. We're fighters. Brothers-in-arms. We both got screwed over by Jusenkyo."

"Ranma hands our asses to us regularly. We're looked down on by the girls we like. Haven't seen our parents in ages. What else?"

"There's the obvious. We're both guys."

"That's true. It's a lot easier to talk to a guy, isn't it? When I try to talk to Akane, I come off like a babbling idiot."

"When I talk to Shampoo, I lose all my better judgement and make stupid choices."

"Can't talk to 'em. It's almost a shame that we like girls, right?"

"Yeah. Maybe it'd be easier if we were gay." Mousse paused. "Uh, I'm not gay, though."

"Of course not. Neither am I. But it would be convenient, right? To actually be able to talk to the people we liked? To be able to open our hearts to them and tell them what we feel?"

"Yeah. If we were. But we're not."

"Definitely not." Ryoga tapped his fingers together. "H-hey. It's normal for people who aren't gay to wonder what it's like to be gay, isn't it?"

"I suppose? I think it's normal for people to wonder lots of things about themselves."

"Because I've done that before. I'm not gay, but I imagine what it would be like if I were gay. Which I'm not."

"That sounds totally natural. And healthy. Like, you're not afraid to ask questions about who you are. I think it's good for you to imagine what it'd be like if you were gay."

"Right? I thought about things like, it'd be nice to date someone who's bigger than me. It'd feel like I was protected. Safe, you know?"

"I can identify with that. Like when someone is holding my duck body. Even if it's a guy. It's not gay, it's just that it makes me feel secure."

"Nothing gay about feeling safe from danger." Ryoga attempted to skip another stone, but it sank straight into the water. "So, have you ever thought about what kind of guy you'd like? If you were gay?"

"Which I'm not."

"Of course not."

Mousse looked down, blushing a bit. "I don't know. I guess I'd like someone who was really strong. Sort of wild-seeming, but when you get to know them, they're really soft and gentle. But still strong."

"Yeah. Me too. Like I said, I think I'd like someone taller than me. It'd be nice if he had a really pretty face, too. If I were gay."

"Which you aren't."

Ryoga poked the ground a few times, causing small craters to form. "So, if you were gay. And if I were gay. Do you think you'd be interested in me?"

Mousse bumped Ryoga's shoulder with his. "I'd be crazy not to be. You're a real catch, you know? You're nice and you're smart, and you're really cute." Mousse suddenly stiffened. "...is an example of what I'd say if I were gay. And I'm not."

Ryoga smiled. "I think i'd be interested in you, too. You're cool and mysterious… and I'd like to run my fingers through your hair. If I were gay."

Mousse looked away. "You know, even though you aren't-if you wanted to, you could do that. I wouldn't mind."

"Really? A-are you sure it's okay?"

"It's fine!" Mousse said, not sounding particularly confident in how fine he felt.

Ryoga lifted a hand, and tentatively stroked Mousse's hair. "Wow. It's… really silky. Feels nice. Not compared to my hair. Mine's rough."

"Is it?" Mousse felt Ryoga's hair. "It doesn't feel rough to me. Wavy, maybe." Looking worried, he quickly withdrew his hand. "Sorry. I didn't ask first."

"No, it's okay. It's only fair. You let me touch yours."

"Oh. Then, can I…"

"Go ahead."

Mousse leaned over and ran his fingers through Ryoga's hair. He took a deep sniff. "You smell like the woods. And a campfire."

"Yeah, I haven't visited a public bath since I got back. Sorry."

"No, it's not a bad smell. It's very you." Mousse took his hand back, and the two sat quietly a while and watched the wind blow ripples in the lake.

Ryoga broke the silence "What kind of dates would you like to go on, if you were gay?"

"I don't know. Something simple. Maybe just go for a walk and talk. A little like this. Not that we're on a date."

"And instead of going to a cinema, it'd be more fun to watch a movie at home. Where we could get comfortable and cuddle during the movie."

"That sounds nice."

"If there were a festival going on, maybe we could go do that. I think I've got a yukata at home that still fits me. We could play some games, have some food, and watch the fireworks."

"And… and on a date like that… if you were gay, do you think we'd kiss afterwards?"

"I think I'd probably want to. If I were gay."

"Me too."

They sighed simultaneously.

"So, what are you really doing tonight?"

"Don't know. The restaurant's closed today, so I've got the night off. I don't think I want to go back home and hang around Shampoo and the mummy. How about you?"

"Priority is to find a place to camp for the night, I guess. Not much fun, are we?"

"No." Mousse suddenly lifted his head up. "Wait, you live near here, right? I can take you to your house."

Ryoga's smile was bright. "Really? It'd be great to sleep in my own bed, for once."

"Yeah." Mousse nodded. "At least one of us will have an okay night."

"No, you should stay over too. There should be food at the house, and we can watch a movie. And since it's summer, there might even be a festival in the area."

Mousse broke out in a grin. "That sounds like a lot of fun. And we can talk some more too. If you want."

"Yeah!" Ryoga rose to his feet. "It'll be great! Let's go right now!" He picked up his backpack and looped the straps over his arms. He thought a moment, then reached out a hand to Mousse. "It's too bad that we aren't gay."

Mousse took the proffered hand, laced their fingers together, then kissed the back of Ryoga's hand. "It's an absolute shame."

Author's note

This was borne out of a discussion about how M/M Ranma fanworks were, the vast majority of the time, about Ranma/Ryoga. I mused that I was considering writing a Mousse/Ryoga story to add more variety, and Beedok offered to draw the couple if I wrote it. It was an offer I could not refuse. The thumbnail is that drawing, posted with Beedok's permission.

The title are words from the song "If I Loved You" from the musical Carousel. Oscar Hammerstein wrote several duets by couples about how they weren't actually in love, but if they were... ("People Will Say We're In Love" from Oklahoma, "Make Believe" from Show Boat).

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it.