Chapter Notes

Okay so this story has been in my head for a long time, and I know it's been done 100 times over by now, I just really wanted to write one myself. Few disclaimer's, I've used Elton John to talk about gay celebrities because despite coming out as bisexual in 1976 and as gay in 1988, he didn't publicly date a man until 1993. Now, this would put Alex at around 15 when that happened, so that makes it perfect. Oh, also I named Alex's parent's random names that were common in the 1950s (around the age I would place the parents of a 17-year-old in 1995), and his sibling the same for the 1970s because I couldn't find a common denominator in the fandom.

"Did you know he was gay?" Alex jumped when he heard what his mother said, sitting up and looking around at his family wildly. He started to panic. How did they know? How could they know? He'd hidden it so well! How could they possibly know?

"What?" He eventually squeaked, his voice rising even above his normal pre-pubescent tone. He coughed, clearing his throat before repeating the question.

"Elton John," his mother, Mary, responded, giving her son a strange look from the other end of the table. "I was asking if you knew that he was gay. He has a boyfriend," she caught him up on the last few minutes of the conversation he'd clearly missed.

"O-oh," was all he responded with, subtly letting out a breath of relief. They didn't know. His secret was safe. Nobody knew. Back in the closet, he went. Yay.

"Yeah, I had no idea, it's pretty cool to see an openly gay celebrity!" His older sister, Jennifer, proclaimed. Alex sat up straight upon hearing this, awaiting his parent's reactions to her comment.

"Yeah it is, it's nice to see," his mom agreed. Alex couldn't believe what he was hearing. His parents… approved? Did they accept gay people? Did this mean he could finally tell him what he'd known since he was seven? The secret he'd never told anyone, not even his best friends? Before he could speak up, his dad cut off his excitement.

"Nice to see," he scoffed, crossing his arms in a huff, clearly showing his distaste for the subject. Alex swallowed any confession that was welling up inside of him. "It ain't natural!"

"James! That's no way to think! We're in the 20th century, being gay is completely normal!" Mary scolded the man, who merely let out another grunt.

"Yeah dad, get with the times, they're changing!" Jennifer said gleefully, clearly glad for the opportunity to rebel.

Alex couldn't believe what he was hearing. Here he'd been, living eight years in fear of his family finding out about who he really was, and now two-thirds of said family was actively standing up against the one-third who was being openly homophobic.

"I'm gay!" Alex blurted, unable to hold it back, now that he knew he would be accepted by his family. Only, they didn't turn to him with compassion and understanding, like he was lead to believe they would, based on their previous conversation. Instead, all turned to look at him with scepticism and judgement, making him shift in his seat.

"See, this is exactly why celebrities should keep that shit out of their public lives!" James burst after a few moments of silence, standing and slamming his hands on the table, making Alex jump.

"Alex, sweetie," he turned to look at his mom, "you're not gay, you're just confused because we're talking about a celebrity who is," she said to him as if she was explaining how it worked.

"But-" his voice caught in his throat, unsure of how to respond to that. He was unprepared. What was he thinking? Blurting it out like that! He had a plan! He was going to wait until he turned sixteen, sit them all down to a nice dinner, explain it in a calm, rational way. Not just blurt it out at dinner like this! He had no defence. "I am though," he said weakly, flinching harshly when his dad swore loudly and stormed away from the table, throwing his signature newspaper as he left.

"No, you're not!" Mary declared loudly, rising from her seat as well. Alex turned to Jen, hoping to get some support from his big sisters, only to find her looking pointedly away from him.

"I thought," he paused, trying to arrange the words flying around in his brain. "You said it was cool, with Elton John" he eventually muttered, referring to their earlier conversation that had lead to this predicament.

"That's for a celebrity, not my son!" Mary shouted, before quickly clasping her hands over her mouth as if she could take the words back. Alex stared, wide-eyed at his mother. So that was it? They were okay with gays, as long as it wasn't him? Unable to bear the pain anymore, he stood and bolted, running out the front door. Behind him, he heard Jen stand up and begin to protest before the door shut.

Nobody followed him. Alex made his way to the only place in the universe that could make him feel better, barely able to see where he was running through the tears. Luckily, he lived close to the oasis, his house being the closest of the band's.

When he ran into the small clearing in the woods behind the beach, he collapsed into the grass by the waterside. The tears he tried too hard to hold back, finally began to fall, as he began hiccuping as he wept.

Alex sat there and cried for at least half an hour before a voice called out to him. Wiping his face, he turned to see Luke and Reggie running straight to him. The two boys didn't slow down, tackling him to the ground when they reached him.

"Jen called us!" Luke proclaimed as the three sat up. Alex panicked, both not wanting to know and being desperate to know exactly what she'd told them.

"She said you had a fight with your parents, and would probably be here. What happened?" Reggie asked him, tilting his head to the side. Alex felt like crying all over again. Partially, he was freaking out, because his options were to lie to them about the fight, or come out and risk disappointing the only other people in his life that actually cared about him. But he was also grateful, that his sister hadn't betrayed him and told them, allowing him the opportunity to tell them himself. He knew he didn't have an option.

"I told them I'm gay," he eventually whispered, more tears slipping down his face as he closed his eyes and waited for more rejection. Again, this wasn't how he'd planned on telling them, but all of his plans were falling apart in front of him, just like his whole life.

"Really?" Luke asked, Alex could hear him tapping his hands on the knees, a tic he always did when he was confused or trying to work something out.

"We had no idea dude," he felt Reggie place his hand on his shoulder. "But what did you fight about with your parents?" He asked, not understanding the causation of the matter.

At this, the tears began to fall faster as Alex began openly weeping once more. They… they didn't care that he was gay? They didn't judge him for it?

"Hey, hey, hey! Don't cry!" Luke flailed around, having no idea how to comfort his friend, eventually setting for patting him twice on the head, making Alex laugh.

"You guys don't care?" Alex eventually asked, only once he'd calmed down a little bit.

"Why would we care?" Reggie asked, doing the head-tilt again.

"They did," he muttered in response, looking down and fisting the grass in his hands, his grief now turning to anger. Here he was, with his friends completely accepting him, when his own parents wouldn't. Weren't they supposed to love him no matter what?

"That's so messed up!" Luke cried, standing up indignantly, mad for Alex. It was clear to both other boys that he was about three seconds away from running to Alex's house and giving his family a piece of his mind.

"Yeah," Alex admitted in a sad, broken tone. "It is messed up," he was completely defeated.

"Wanna talk about it?" Reggie asked the boy, placing a supportive hand on his shoulder. Yeah. He did want to talk about it actually.

So there the boys remained until well after sunset, the other two listening to Alex's sad, angry ranting. It wasn't until it was nearing ten o'clock at night that their parents finally came looking for them, however, Alex noticed that his parents were absent. Emily and Mitch Patterson wound up dropping him off at home. When they asked why his parents said they didn't want to be the ones to come and find him, he didn't tell them.

When he opened the front door to his home, waving goodbye to the Pattersons as they left, he found the house seemingly empty of life. All the lights were out, and there was no sound coming from everywhere. His family had all gone to bed.

The next morning, they all pretended nothing had happened, as much as it broke Alex's heart, at least they were talking to him. Besides, he didn't need them. He had two of the best friends in the world, his brothers. They understood him. They still cared about him. They still loved him. And if he cried himself to sleep that night, and many after, no one was any the wiser.

~Julie and the Phantoms~

"That sounded so good, Alex!" Julie complimented him, bouncing on her piano seat in excitement.

The two were practising Alex's part for their anthem, as he wasn't confident in singing on his own. He still wasn't all there yet, and singing solo would probably never be his thing, but at least the thought of it didn't make him want to throw up anymore. That was something.

"Seriously, a little more practice and it'll be perfect!" Julie beamed at him, happy to have this opportunity to work one-on-one with the drummer.

"It still doesn't feel right, I'm not a singer," Alex admitted, putting his sticks down and getting up to pace as he often did when he was particularly nervous about, well, anything.

"No, you're not," Julie shook her hand, standing as well, "but you don't have to be! You're an awesome drummer Alex!" Julie smiled brightly at him. "I just think you and Reggie having solo lines is really important for this song. I hope I'm not putting too much pressure on you," she suddenly looked downcast, making Alex rush to reassure her.

"No, no, no! It's not too much pressure at all!" He said quickly, waving his hands all around. "It's just different is all." He let out a sigh of relief when Julie stood a little straighter, smiling at him again. "Thank you."

"Wanna run it one more time?" She asked, already moving back towards the piano as he nodded an affirmation. He moved back over and sat at the drums, picking up his sticks as she began playing from a few bars before his cue.

"Like I'm growing in the dark,

I keep on going when it's all falling apart,

Yeah, I know it with all my heart, ooh! Ooh!

Never look back!"

And that was his cue, so Alex paused his drumming and sang his line,

"Whatever happens,

Even if I'm the last standing,

I'mma stand tall

I'mma stand tall!"

"That was great! Perfect!" Julie complimented him, spinning on her seat to face him with a large grin.

Alex was so lucky to have Julie. She really understood his anxiety, in a way not even Luke and Reggie ever did. She knew exactly how much reassurance he needed, and exactly how much praise he could handle before it all became too much for him. He was just… so, so lucky to have such an awesome friend. In the few short weeks it'd been since they'd been alive again, Julie had quickly been added to his list of his favourite people ever. Which… admittedly was a short list, so that was a pretty big deal.

Alex paused, considering what he was about to do. Did he really want to risk it? Should he tell her? No, yes he should absolutely tell her. If she treated him different, that was her loss, not his.

"Did you know I'm gay?" If Luke and Reggie had taught him anything, it was that he didn't need people around him to approve of his sexuality. His parents were a testament to that. He could deal with their rejection, so he could deal with Julie's too, if it came to that. Julie was silent, avoiding his eye contact, struggling for words. Alex's shoulders sagged a little. He could handle the rejection, but that didn't make it easy. "No, no, it's cool. I get it," he muttered, looking away from the girl.

"Wait, no!" She exclaimed, making him look at her with scepticism. "I don't have an issue with it! I already kinda knew!" She blurted out quickly, before covering her mouth.

Alex's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. Did she know? How? Did Luke tell her? No, he wouldn't betray him like that! How else could she possibly know then?

"H-how?" He eventually choked out, desperate to know how she could possibly know.

"It's hard to explain," she fumbled, wringing her hands together. "You just have this-" she paused, gesturing at him-"look about you." Again, his eyes grew even wider. "No! That came out wrong! Damnit, this is so hard to explain! Where's Flynn when you need her," Julie grumbled to herself before trying again. "Okay, so it's like. When I look at a girl at school, I can kinda tell that she's gay. And if someone were to ask me how I know she's gay, I would say it's because of her eyeliner," Julie began to explain. "Now, that doesn't mean that the eyeliner is what makes her gay or anything," she shook her head. Alex was glad she clarified there because that was where he thought she was going with it. "Like, that same eyeliner on another girl wouldn't mean anything, but on her, it told me that she was gay," Julie eventually got out, finally breathing only after she was done explaining.

"So like a gaydar?" He joked, trying to lighten the mood a little. She laughed sheepishly, realising how she made it sound.

"I guess we just know our people?" She shrugged as if that was all there was to it. Alex nodded along, as though he understood, before what she'd said sunk in. Our people?!

"Wait what?" He yelped, falling off of his chair in shock, collapsing into a heap on the group. "What do you mean our people?" He asked, looking up at her.

"Didn't I ever tell you guys, I'm queer?" She asked, sounding just as confused as he did. He vehemently shook his head in response. "Whoops," she laughed sheepishly, scratching the back of her head. "I kinda just assumed you knew," she laughed, coming over to him and offering her hand, for a moment both of them forgetting that he was a ghost. He reached for her hand, only to pass straight through it, making the both of them laugh.

"No, I didn't how! How would I have known?" He was still kind of freaking out. He'd never actually met another gay person in his own life before. Well, maybe, he was still unsure about Willy. He hoped he was gay, but he didn't know for sure.

Luke and Reggie chose that exact moment to pop back into the studio, making Alex sigh a little. He really wanted to continue his conversation with Julie. Guess he'd just ask her more later.

"What's going on?" Luke eyes, eyeing the two strangely. It was then that Alex realised he was still on the floor, and he quickly jumped off, offering the two a sheepish smile. "What were you talking about?" He asked, looking between the two, confused.

"Just our sexualities," Julie shrugged casually, making Alex flinch violently and Luke and Reggie raise their eyebrows. "Do they know?" She asked Alex, pointing at the two. He nodded weakly, letting her know she was free to continue. "Alex told me he's gay, I told him I'm queer too, no biggy."

"How-how do you just say it like that? So casually?" He yelped, quite embarrassed at the way she had said it so… so normally.

"Alex, a lot of things have changed in the last twenty-five years. Being gay isn't bad anymore!" Julie assured him, moving back around to the piano, picking up her notebook and moving back, handing it to him.

He took in, confused and unsure of what she wanted him to do with it. Looking at it closely, he was the semi-colourful design printed on the book. It had a black, white and purple striped background, with a pink, yellow and blue heart in the middle of it.

"It's the panromantic asexual flag," Julie grinned at him. "The black, white and purple is from the asexual flag, and the pink, yellow and blue is from the pansexual flag," she explained, pointing at each section.

"What does that mean?" Luke asked as he and Reggie came closer to the two, now curious. "It's there just gay and straight?" Reggie and Alex nodded along with his question.

"You boys have a lot of catching up to do," Julie sighed, shaking her head at the three. "It's a long story, and I need visuals."

Julie raced out of the studio, leaving the three stunned in her wake. Why did she need visuals? Should they be scared?

Fifteen minutes later, Julie re-entered the studio, rolling a comically large whiteboard with her, which she set in front of the couch, commanding the boys to sit, which they did. They watched in confusion as she wrote a bunch of seemingly random letters downwards on the left side of the board.

"This is what we call the LGBTQ plus community," she eventually said, turning back to face the boys. Feeling nervous and kind of as if he was in a classroom, Reggie raised his hand, only speaking after Julie nodded at him.

"Why are there more letters on the board if it's only called the GLBT community?" He asked innocently.

"Good question," Julie nodded, making Reggie smile proudly before she went on to explain the history of the community to them all.

It was when she got to explaining what the different sexualities meant that they reached an issue.

"Wait you can be attracted to both guys and girls?" Reggie asked, seemingly panicked, as he stood up from the couch. "That's a thing?!"

"Yeah, it's called bisexual. Why?" Julie asked, tilting her head at him. At the question, Reggie freaked. He looked at Luke, seeing the boys eyes on him, making him panic, even more, flushing a bright red.

"No reason," he squeaked, sitting down and folding in on himself, trying to avoid his bandmates eyes on him.

"So wait, what are you again?" Luke asked, already having moved on, which Reggie was grateful for.

"I'm a panromantic asexual, which is kind of like a mix between pansexual and asexual," Julie explained as she pushed the board out of the way and sat on the couch across from the boys. "The asexual part means that I'm not interested in physical relationships," She cut herself off when Alex snickered a little, looking at the boy in confusion.

"S-sorry, nothing, nothing. Go on," he said quickly. It was funny, to him. She wasn't interested in the physical aspects of a relationship so she went and got a crush on a ghost. Ha!

"So you don't like cuddles?" Reggie asked with an adorable pout.

"No, no," Julie waved her hands, trying to explain what she meant by physical. "Cuddles and kisses are fine, it's the more-" she cut herself off, not feeling entirely comfortable with the word she was about to use-"intimate," yes, a good word, "parts of a relationship." She felt like patting herself on the back at that explanation.

"And what does panromantic mean?" Luke asked now, raising his hand as Reggie had earlier.

"It means that gender doesn't matter to me when I'm interested in someone. So if someone is a boy, or a girl, or non-binary, it doesn't matter," she explained.

"Isn't that just the same as bisexual then?" Reggie asked, blushing at saying his newly learned word, trying not to look at Luke out of the corner of his eye.

"No, because while bisexual people are attracted to both men and women and others, for pansexuals, the gender of the person isn't even a factor," Julie said, having plenty of practice explaining what a pansexual was. It had taken quite some time for her dad and brother to understand how the two differed, but they eventually got it.

"Cool, I think I might be that, then!" Luke said, jumping up with a shit-eating grin on his face. The other three blinked at him for a moment before grinning, his enthusiasm was infectious. "Gender, schmender, a person is just either attractive or not!"

"Exactly! Thank you!" Julie laughed, glad she finally shared someone who shared her exact sentiment.

"So wait, I'm gay, and you two are both pan?" Alex asked, grinning now himself. He could get used to this whole community thing, knowing there were others similar to him. "Looks like you're the only straight one, Reg!" He laughed, turning to look at the bassist.

"Bi," was all he squeaked in response, folding himself up as he flushed a bright red. The other laughed in response at the boys embarrassed antics.

"Hey!" Julie suddenly shouted, pointing at the guys and they stopped and stared at her. "You do guys want to come to the pride march with me and Flynn next week?"

"Wait, they have that?" Alex was really excited now. He'd heard about the pride march back in 1995. Back then it had only been like 30 people, but he had a feeling that that would be different now.

"Yeah! Me and Flynn have gone every year since I was 10!" Julie grinned happily, pulling up a photo on her phone of the two small girls decked out in rainbows, and a pink, white and orange flag. "I only found out about my sexuality two years ago, but Flynn always knew she was a lesbian, so I used to go with her family to support her."

"Yeah, let's go! Sounds awesome, right dude?" He zoned back in when Luke elbowed him, nodding along with what they said. It would be awesome to go to Pride in person, instead of just watching it on his muted tv after his parents went to bed.

~Julie and the Phantoms~

"This is so cool!" Alex was absolutely losing his mind. It was everything he had imagined it would be, and so so much more, at the same time. He couldn't even count the number of people that were here. They were all wearing so many different colours, most of which he at least semi-recognised, even if he didn't know exactly what some meant. Honestly, the clashes of colour in the mob looked really bad, but it was absolutely beautiful.

Earlier that morning, Flynn had come over and they'd all sat together, painting each other's faces (well, Julie and Flynn doing each other's, and the guys doing each other's, seeing as some of them couldn't touch) with the colours of the flags they identified with.

Alex was stuck with Luke's sloppy handiwork, as apparently, handwriting capabilities and face-painting capabilities were quite interchangeable, coating his entire face in the light blue, white and dark blue stripes, matching with his dark blue top, light blue shorts and white suspenders. Reggie had a cute, neat, pink, purple and blue flag painted on both cheeks curtsy of Alex, to go with his absolutely ridiculous outfit which was entirely purple, with each of his arms completely painted, one in pink, one in blue (which Reggie had specifically requested). Luke had a large but still neat pink, yellow and blue flag on his forehead, done by Reggie, matching his blue jacket, pink top and yellow jeans (which they had to specifically go out and buy for the occasion).

The girls, obviously having been to the event before, had their outfits already planned and coordinated. Flynn's was simple, a white pair of shorts and a pink and orange flannel jacket. Julie on the other hand had gone all out, to incorporate her more elaborate flag into her outfit. Her clothes were much the same a Luke's only with blue jeans, a yellow top and a pink jacket, but in her hair were two matching black, white and purple hair ribbons, tying her hair into twin pigtails and then flowing downwards. The colour schemed appeared once again on her doodled shoes, bringing the whole outfit together.

"Hey, Julie, what's that?" He asked, pointing at a group of people holding up a large sign with a heart and a triangle on it, that he didn't recognise from her briefing on the different flags they could expect to see. Maybe they were protestors…

"Oh! That's the PFLAG!" She said happily as if that were enough for him to understand. When he raised an eyebrow, she elaborated. "It stands for Parents and Friends for Lesbians and Gays," she pulled up a quick google search, showing the boy the heart and triangle on a yellow and white flag. "Obviously it's been expanded to include the full community now, but they kept the name. I used to go as a part of it to support Flynn, but now Papi, Carlos and Tia come to support me." She waved over at the group. It was then that Alex saw the familiar faces of Julie's family in the crowd.

Alex was envious, but happy for her, that her family supported her so much. She was lucky like that. Everyone who grew up in this time period was. Secretly, he wished he had grown up now, instead of in the '80s. But he knew wishing it didn't make it true. The past was the past. But he was here now, and he had a family that supported and loved him for who he was. That was all he needed.

Chapter End Notes

Teehee, got y'all with the misdirect, didn't I? Bet you thought the PFLAG meant that Alex's family was going to come into it? Nope. Not in this story at least, where the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Also, anyone who's waiting for the next Coming Alive chapter, sorry y'all, I'm getting there, I have 2000 words of it done, I just really wanted to get this story out, as the beginning of my mini-series. Also, I stand firmly by my claim that the only people with a working gaydar are clear. Every single one of my friends is queer, but when we met, only one of us knew he was. Also the eyeliner bit was an outtake from my own life, when I tried to explain to my closeted uni friend how I knew she was gay.