~Okay Arackniss,~ The black-furred spider mentally coached himself as he tried to relax the tension in his shoulders. ~This isn't the first time you've been in a difficult situation...but why did it have to be this one?~
"Thanks for coming with me today," Angel enthusiastically said as they made their way to the Pentagram City Aquarium.
"You are most welcome Angel," Penn hissed graciously. It seemed ironic to be friendly towards the white and pink spider demon. It was just months ago that he had gotten into a fight with Angel and his cyclopic companion Cherri Bomb...it took his relationship with Arackniss to realize how the obnoxious spider was not a bad person to know. "It's high time that we had a day to enjoy ourselves."
"Yeah…" Arackniss said, trying to cover his anxiousness with feigned sarcasm. "If you enjoy being in a series of darkened rooms and hallways, where the only thing separating you from several hundred gallons of water are sheets of glass about an inch and a half thick."
"My friend Cherri and I like to hang out here," Angel explained. "She's actually having a girl's day out with Molly, today."
"Oh, you've introduced her to your sister already," Penn asked.
"Yeah, weeks ago," Angel replied. "Molls and Cher are about as close as you and Niss...except without the whole being lovers thing."
"That explains why Molly hasn't been answering her phone," Niss commented as he looked about for something to distract him from the anxiety that was beginning to overwhelm him.
"So what creatures are you interested in seeing," Angel asked. "I personally love the angelfish...though for something called 'angel fish' you would think they would look more like Angel's. And then there are the blobfish...I just find it interesting because they look normal when they are deep underwater. And then when they go closer to the surface of the water they turn into well a...a blob."
"I'm partial to the eels, myself," Penn responded. "I just feel a sense of familiarity with them, what about you Nissy? Do you have an aquatic creature that you particularly enjoy?"
"I've never really…" Niss answered nervously. "I've never actually given it much thought."
"I remember you enjoying the penguins when we was growin' up," Angel commented. "Remember that old Aquarium Mom used to take us too when we were kids. The one in Coney Island."
"You like the penguins," Penn smiled with amusement.
"Well who wouldn't," Niss responded as though it wasn't something that needed to be discussed. "They look like they're all dressed in little tuxedos, anyone would find them adorable."
"Is that why you would draw them looking like little mobsters with machine guns in your notebook when we was at school," Angel asked teasingly.
"Come sono imparentato con te?" Niss grumbled in Italian under his breath as the three of them entered the aquarium. He could feel his legs lock up with fright at being in this complex. Just feet away was the start of the aquarium exhibits. He looked around hoping that maybe he could find someplace more open like the touch pools or maybe a patio looking over the Infernal Deep, the bay waters of Pentagram City. But all that he could see was the mouth of a darkened room leading to a JellyFish exhibit. Another room started with a display featuring a gigantic octopus. Even just seeing the creature got the hitman's heart beating uncomfortably in his chest. The only open areas were a gift shop and the cafeteria.
"You guys go in first," Niss said, trying to maintain his normal calm and level-headed tone. "I think I'll go see what's available in the cafeteria. Getting in here was already expensive, and I have a feeling that lunch will be an arm and a leg."
"We ate before we got here…" The snake demon pointed out. "We made sure to have a large brunch at that restaurant so we wouldn't need to grab a meal at the cafeteria because it would be expensive, remember."
"Oh yeah…" Niss remembered they had stopped at a restaurant. Anthony had a full stack of strawberry pancakes topped with strawberries in syrup and whipped cream with a cup of coffee. Pentious had an omelet skillet but had requested the toast be switched out with a biscuit. And Niss had eggs-in-a-basket with a Caffè Americano and a side of turkey sausage. The sausage patties were the only thing he didn't end up finishing since they were too dry for his liking.
"It's dark enough in there," Penn whispered conspiratorially. "Once Angel is distracted by all the fish, we can find a private spot to do some deep diving exploration of our own."
"Really," Niss responded trying to hide the discomfort in his voice. As much as he loved spending time with Penn and having excuses to have his brains fucked out by him. He just didn't relish the idea of being surrounded by gallons of water. It brought back too many memories. "S...sounds great."
"So come on then," Penn hissed as he started to drag Arackniss towards the exhibit with the Octopus. Angel was already there facinatedly watching the eight-legged creature move its massive body around its tank. As they started forward the snake demon paused as he felt the smaller black-furred spider become resistant. Arackniss was often compliant with Sir Pentious and his needs. He was particularly open during moments that led to the two of them being able to make love. While his profession as a hitman often made him hard and cold, he had known his Nissy to have a warm and tender side that few knew existed. Feeling this resistance immediately cued the serpent that something was going on.
"Is something wrong," Pentious asked in concern.
"Hey what's the hold-up," Angel asked from where he stood at the entrance to the aquarium exhibit.
"You go on ahead, Angel," Penn called out to the tall white spider. "We'll be along in a moment." As much as he had come to see and respect the porn star as a friend, there were still moments where his presence was less than helpful. Such as his tendency to make fun of his older brother. Most of the time the older demon was tolerant of Angel's antics since this was part of how the two spiders related to one another and it was harmless anyway. But occasionally Pentius was less than welcoming of the teasing. Such as when it was used as an opportunity to deliver a mean-spirited jibe or make a laughing matter out of something serious. This was one of those times. The other spider cocked head to the side, the brow of his darker eye raised as though sensing something was going on. Whatever it was his two companions didn't want him involved. Shrugging he made his way into the darkened hallway of the aquarium.
"Alright, he's enjoying the aquarium," Pentious said reassuring his lover they didn't need to worry about Angel for the time being. "Now tell me what is wrong, Nissy."
"It's," Niss responded trying to maintain his stoic demeanor even though he felt his heart fearfully pounding in his chest. "It's nothing...you and Anthony just go enjoy the aquarium...I'll be right here."
"Arackniss," Penn chided. "I know when you're hiding something from me, please tell me what's wrong."
"It's not something I like to talk about," Arackniss said as he sat on a bench in the lobby.
"It's Pops isn't it," Angel's voice said, startling the hitman and the serpent edge lord. It always bothered Niss how his younger brother could surprise him when he least expected it. It just didn't seem possible since Niss had the training to use stealth to his advantage.
"It's none of your business, Anthony," Niss said in frustration. Even though Angel had inquired this question with notable concern, the last thing he wanted was for the younger spider to make light of this trauma he felt. "I just don't want to discuss it. Penn, I'm sorry. But I'll wait here...you two go enjoy the aquarium."
"I'm not leaving," Pentious insisted. "If something is bothering you, Nissy, I need to know what I can do to help."
"I knew coming here was a mistake." Niss groused as he got up and stalked to the aquarium's cafeteria. There was a small patio area there that looked over Infernal Deep. Some of the resident sinners of the city and the native Hellborns were milling about enjoying the day. Arackniss rested himself against a railing and looked out at the vast expanse of the bay. The reddish sky of the Pride Ring making the dark water look like freshly spilled blood. Water didn't bother him if he could view it from this distance, it was only when he was confronted by areas that made him feel underwater that gave him a feeling he was drowning. It had been so long since he had experienced this trauma, why did he have to have this level of weakness now. And in front of Pentious of all people.
A large steamed macchiato being held in front of his face drew his attention to the taller form of his younger brother. The white-furred spider holding a pistachio frappuccino and idly sipped at it as he looked over the expansive bay.
"Where's Penn," Arackniss asked as took a sip of his macchiato letting the steamed-milk coffee relax him.
"Gettin' some tea." Angel said. "He just can't decide on which one he wants. I mean common, there are only like six flavors to choose from, pick one already. I was able to get through the line quickly on account I'm a celebrity and even the person who made our drinks was a fan of my work, made 'em on the house."
"I can't say I'm a fan of your line of work, Anthony," Niss said."But I will admit it has its uses."
"Thanks, Nissy," Angel smiled and the compliment. "It means a lot to hear you say that."
"Don't get too used to it," Niss grumbled as he moved to a patio table that was vacated by an Imp family. "You still owe me for a new couch after that film shoot in my apartment." Angel didn't retort as he settled into one of the folding chairs at the table with his older brother. He didn't remember the last time Arackniss and himself enjoyed actually taking the time to be each other's company like this without irritating the shit out of one another. It actually felt...nice.
"Nine Souls for a sixteen-ounce cup of Darjeeling," Pentious complained as he joined them outside. "That is far too overpriced, and they carry such a low-quality brand..."
"I'll be sure to suggest they get some premium loose-leaf next time I visit," Angel rolled his eyes at the serpents tea obsession.
"Oh please do," Pentious agreed, not noticing the sarcasm in Angel's voice. "You obviously have a way of getting people to listen to you."
"Yeah," Niss grumbled. "It's called having obsessive fanatics,I don't recommend 'em"
"Soooo…" Angel said drawing out the word to make it clear their earlier discussion was not over.
"Anthony," Niss sighed. "Can't you just drop it, and leave me alone."
"Not until you tell us what's going on," Penn stated.
"It's time you faced this fear, Niss," Angel said encouragingly. "You won't get past it until you learn to confront it head-on. It was you who told me that once."
"Your brother is right, Niss," Penn agreed. "You need to let us know what is bothering you so much about being in this place."
"Unless," Angel gave his brother a Cheshire cat grin. "You want me to do the explaining."
"You do," Niss seethed. "And I'll tell Penn and everyone at that hotel every embarrassing thing you've done since you were four."
"You wouldn't…" Angel countered.
"Try me…" Niss growled back.
"Stop this, both of you" Penn scolded the two spiders. "I know you two are brothers, but right now I feel like I am looking after a couple of children."
"Sorry Penn," Angel apologized sincerely before returning his attention to his older brother. "Look Niss, I know what Pops used to do to you. I mean I wasn't all that old at the time, but when he'd turn his anger on any of us...those moments just stick with yah. I thought bein' here today would be good since it's my day off from the studio. I thought it would help us grow closer as brothers and it would help you get over your fear of water."
"Hydrophobia," Pentious asked, looking towards his love for clarification. The black-furred spider just hunched his shoulders like this was something that was really sensitive.
"Yeah," Angel said. His voice for once actually sounded mature and not carrying its usual hint of playfulness as he explained. "When Niss and I were kids, the first home we had was an old tenement building on the lower east side of New York. I don't remember the place all that well, cause I was real little. The only thing I do remember was the bathtub in the kitchen. One of the things that would happen if Niss did something Pops didn't like is he'd fill the tub and shove Niss's face-first into it. Nissy would be dunked into it and held there several times. The only time Pops would let up is if Niss looked like he was drowning. Pops also used water torture as a form of interrogation."
"Nissy," Pentious was so aghast he nearly dropped his cup of tea. "That's horrible! Doing something like nearly drowning your own child for being...well a child. Anyone who does that should be labeled a monster."
"That's the sort of man Pops was," Niss sighed. "That was what it was like to live with a monster. While it does play a role, what really triggered my fear of water was when I served."
"You mean when you was in the war," Angel asked as his interest peaked. "Ya never talk about the time you were a soldier."
"It's not a time of my life I like thinking about," Niss sternly responded. "The only reason I'm saying this is to give context, whatever I say...it isn't repeated to anyone beyond the three of us. Please don't ask me any questions about it, don't interrupt or comment, and don't have me reveal any other moments of that time, got it? It's not a time I want to remember."
"Alright," Penn responded.
"During World War II, there was an event called D-Day," Arackniss explained. He kept his eyes focused on the black enameling of the metal table. His shoulders quaking as the memories of the horrors experienced on that fateful day in 1944. "The official code name for this attack was called 'Operation: Overlord'. The whole thing was supposed to help liberate Western Europe from the control of Nazi Forces. So a platoon of landing boats were sent to a group of beaches on the coast of France. Unfortunately several of the first landing boats unloaded soldiers in water that was deeper than expected, so when the soldiers disembarked their gear and ammunition dragged them underwater. A number of those soldiers drowned before they even could shed their supplies and try to swim for shore. Those that managed to shed their gear and got to shore were often unarmed and were easily picked off by enemy forces. I was one of the soldiers who was in those boats. I just remember getting out of the landing boat only to feel water closing over my head. My first feeling was to panic because it was bringin' up some past traumas of what Pops had done, and the things I'd witnessed him do to other people. And all around me, there were boys who were as young as I was when I first took my oath to our mob family and younger were dying. In some cases, this was the first battle any of these boys had seen as soldiers. There was so much fear in their eyes as they struggled to get out of their gear as they sank. Some even dared to cry out for their own mothers even though they would only drown faster. I managed to locate a knife I carried on me and cut my gear bag off of my shoulders. The gun I carried weighed me down, but I managed to make it to shore. I caught sight of Nazi soldiers putting me in their sights and took them out before everything went black. When I regained consciousness, the battle was over and the dead and wounded were being picked up. I was evaluated by the Med teams and taken to recover at an old estate that had been converted into a field hospital for a couple of weeks. For a while, it actually sounded like I was going to end up in psychiatric care because of how I would have nightmares based on what I experienced. I, fortunately, was able to be discharged, but the commanding officers felt I had done my time and should be allowed to return home to New York. I sure as hell didn't look at the mob life the same way after the war. The one time I did go to Pops and request that I be released from the family. Pops just hit me and said I had undergone the ritual, I gave my oath, pledged my life to the family. The only way I could leave it was through death. I tried to be reasonable...told him I wasn't breaking my oath. But I wasn't walking away from the family business. I would still be loyal and do what they needed as an earner, but I didn't want to be doing the violent jobs anymore. I wanted to get a little place outside the city, get married, have kids of my own. I wanted to be the sort of person Pops never was to Anthony and Molly. But Pops wanted none of it, he told me that if I dared to walk away from the family. He'd arrange an accident to happen to Anthony. And Molly was viewed as disposable as well, I just needed to bear in mind who would suffer if I turned my back on the mob life. So that's it...I eventually got over the trauma from the "War Games" as Pops would call it. But whenever I'm someplace that makes me feel like I'm underwater...I just freeze up and become paralyzed with fear."
There was no sound at the table as his story concluded. Arackniss gave a bitter-sounding bark of laughter as he took the silence as mockery.
"I know, that's rich," Niss growled out. "Arackniss, oldest son of Henroin and hit man. A demon sinner who can face down Overlords without breaking a sweat. And the one thing that makes him piss himself in fright is a little water. It's a wonder that he can use a shower without passing out."
"Oh…" Penn started to say.
"Niss…" Angel said, before he fought back a sob. "Nissy, I'm so sorry...I never knew."
"You're right, Nissy," Pentious agreed as he pulled Arackniss into his arms and protectively held him. "Coming here today was a mistake."
"I don't want to stop you two from enjoying the aquarium," Niss said once the snake demon had let him go.. "I'll just wait here until you're done. It would be good for you to spend some time together."
"You kidden'" Angel said as he recovered his normal sense of humor. "I've finally get a day off that I can actually spend with my older brother and I have to spend it with his fuck buddy instead. Nah...I have a better idea. Our tickets allow reentry if we leave for any reason. We just give them to three people who probably don't get many opportunities to visit the aquarium and have them enjoy it. While the three of us go back to Nissy's apartment and marathon Jurassic Park."
"I thought you didn't like that film," Niss pointed out.
"I'm not a fan of movies involving Aliens…" Angel started to say but caught Arackniss glaring at him with an eyebrow raised. "Okay...Val's wanting to do a porn parody of the film called 'Jurassic Prick'.
"Why am I not surprised," Niss grumbled. "But a film marathon sounds like a great idea. You sure you want to do this, I know how much you like this place."
"Hey," Angel shrugged. "I've visited this aquarium loads of times. How many chances to have to spend a peaceful day with my little big brother." Niss decided to ignore the "little" big brother comment as he stood up at the table.
"Well if you're sure," Niss said.
"I'll see you guys at the door," Angel stated as he walked off.
"Will you be alright," Pentious asked with concern.
"I will be," Niss said as he allowed the snake demon to pull him against him.
"I've never experienced a war like the one you had," Penn commented. "It must have been horrendous."
"There are things from that time that still give me nightmares," Niss responded. "It wasn't so much a war, as much as it was a bunch of cultures slaughtering one another for their own personal gain. That's why I don't like films that are centered on that time because it brings up too many memories. And they only focus on the evils of what Germany, Italy, and Japan were doing in that time. While forces like Amerca and Great Britain come in as the hero who saves the day. But the reality is...there was evil on both sides, there were things I was forced to do that I still hate myself for doing. I saw things that made me wish I could have done more to help. There were even moments I questioned if the side I was on wasn't the real enemy."
"Tell me when you feel you're ready, Nissy." Penn said calmly. "I won't force you to face such trauma. We've all have pain and regrets that we have suffered in our lifetimes, and we have suffered to get to where we are now. But when you are ready to talk about it, I know I'll be here to listen."
"Thanks, Penn," Niss said, tenderly leaning his head against his lover's chest. "Want to catch a private show later tonight, once Anthony leaves."
"I would love that, Sal," Pentious said as he. tenderly stroked his lover's hair. Before he held out the paper cup of tea. "Here, can you hold on to my tea a moment?. I need to use the gentlemen's facilities."
"It would be an honor, my king," Niss responded with a smirk at his pet name for his boyfriend's true name as he took the cup and settled on a bench to wait for Penns return. His brother had succeeded in finding a couple of Imps who were happy to receive the tickets and enter the building. A fox demon had taken the last ticket, but instead of wanting to go into the Aquarium, he wanted Angel to autograph it and pose for a selfie.
Pulling out his wallet Arackniss looked flipped through an inner pocket and pulled out a folded photograph. Opening in it up a picture of himself back when he was human roughly around seventeen or eighteen years old. His body tall and well-muscled, dressed in a black suit. A cigarette held between the fingers of one hand as he glowered at the dark brown hair held out of his face by his fedora. His eyes focused hard ahead of him, showing the early traces of the cold-blooded killer he would become.
Beside him in the photo was Anthony, at around twelve or thirteen years of age. The younger boy's knees were held close to his chest, his golden-brown hair falling in front of his face as he looked slightly away from the camera as though trying to hide how unhappy he was.
Arackniss longed to reach into the photo. Sending his hands through the decades that passed since this photo had been taken, and pulling the younger boy into his arms. Or maybe getting the attention of his former self telling him off for everything he would do in the future. Everything that would happen, and if had any sense of priorities he would pay attention to his younger brother and give him the love and care he needs. Otherwise, by the time he does take notice of everything that is happening. By the time he even considers his younger brother and how miserable he really is, it would all too late and he would be left only with regrets of the past.
Returning the photo to his wallet he looked up as Pentious returned. The two of them rejoined Angel and headed out to enjoy the rest of the day together.