A/N: This is my 2nd entry for #Scratch-That-Niche Fest with the prompt Still Here. It's rated T and pairs HG/SS with minor mentions of RW/LB and BW/FD. It follows the plot of DH an is slightly OOC. There is warnings for some language. One-Shot (for now).
Disclaimer: I do not own or have any affiliation with Harry Potter
"Severus, please tell me what is on your mind." Hermione was sitting on one of Severus' couches in his headmaster's quarters at Hogwarts. She had just looked up from reading one of her books and saw that he had been looking into the fire. A glass of brandy was in his hand and his eyes were focused. She could tell he was contemplating something.
"I don't want to worry you," he said lamely after taking a deep breath. He took a drink from his glass and went back to his study of the fire.
Severus was thinking about the meeting that he had had earlier with The Dark Lord. Voldemort decided that he wanted to attack Harry while he was being transferred between safe houses. He had gathered his group of death eaters tonight for a dinner at Malfoy Manner and told them about the idea.
Severus had initially told Voldemort that Harry was to be moved a few days ago, and he had not known yet when that would occur. The order had already put the seven Harrys idea into place and knew Hermione was going to be involved.
The Dark Lord was going to end up putting Hermione in danger and could potentially harm her. He couldn't stand the thought of it. He had to come up with a way to keep her safe.
Hermione got up from the couch and went to stand in front of him. His eyes locked on her and watched every movement she performed. She took his glass from his hand and set it on the mantle. She then wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He snaked his arms around her waist.
Hermione looked him straight in the eye now. "I am always worried about you, Sev," she stated. "Everything you do as a spy worries me."
He pulled her as close to him as he could while still looking at her. "I know. It should not be this way." He gave her a sad smile and breathed deeply. "You should be with someone who does not make you constantly feel like this."
She took the initiative and pulled him into a gentle kiss. It lingered for only a moment. Just enough to let him know that she stood by him. After she drew back, she looked up to him again. "I chose this. I wanted this. And, you are stuck with me."
He chuckled. She was not wrong about that.
Severus had taken an interest in Hermione in her fifth year. The way she conducted herself at the ministry was incredible when she battled the death eaters. She had fought her way through that battle with finesse and ease. Little did they know, Severus was there disguised as a death eater, watching them. He saw the battle from afar trying to keep up his image for both sides. He saw her determination while she was fighting and something inside of him had sparked.
Every time he had seen Hermione after that, he felt that spark fly. There had been a few Order meetings at Grimmauld Place where he had seen her, and he couldn't help the slight smile he ended up with on his face. Molly had to do a double take when she saw him the one time. She had even asked if he was feeling well. He couldn't help the chuckle that came out at that and she just about fainted then.
In her sixth year, he was her professor for DADA. She had asked him to take on some extra credit hours because she felt like she was struggling. She definitely wasn't, but he had accepted immediately anyway. He would do anything in order to just spend time with her at this point. His feelings had grown for her in that amount of time and if he did not see her for periods of time, he would start to wonder about her. It wasn't anything crazy, though. His thoughts mostly consisted of how she was doing and who she was with.
For the extra credit time, they decided they would meet once a week after dinner to discuss notes and the upcoming lecture. After a couple weeks, they started carrying on more comfortable conversations and she had said something about Ron and Lavender getting together and how she felt upset about it. Severus had chuckled and told her that she was way too good for Ron in so many words. She had asked him for his explanation, and he obliged telling her she was exceptionally bright for such a young witch. Then he had mentioned how he would be lucky to have someone like her in his life to keep him grounded like the way she had done for years with Harry and Ron.
Hermione had thought about his comment through the week until the night of their next meeting. For Severus Snape to confide in her about his personal thoughts was very interesting to her. She knew he was a private person and would only tell her something like this if he trusted her. She figured he must do so in some capacity and thought that maybe she should reciprocate the sentiment.
"Professor? Can I ask you a question?" She had asked as she entered his classroom that evening.
"Of course, Miss Granger." She had just set down her materials and had made her way to his desk. She was nervous, he could tell, and she started to blush before she could even start the conversation.
"What did you mean last week when you said you would love to have someone like me in your life?"
He studied her for a second and decided to humor her. "Simply that I would love to have a companion of your caliber to call my own. I have lived a lonely life since I have left Hogwarts. I would like to think there is someone out there that I may be able to share my life and love with one day."
His honesty was stifling. Her breath hitched and she started to get clammy. She looked down to her hands and willed herself the nerve to ask him her next question.
She choked anyway.
"Professor, after using the time turner for so long in third year, I actually altered my age to 17."
He studied her yet again. He could tell she was nervous. She kept playing with her fingers. What is she trying to say?
"Where are you going with this, Miss Granger?" He finally asked. Why would she feel the need to tell him her true age?
She looked up at him. His eyes were glistening at her. It's now or never, Hermione. You have to ask him.
"Would you allow me to be that person in your life?"
There is was.
Regret instantly came over her when she saw his eyes darken in what seemed to be anger. Little did she know it was actually desire. She dropped her head again waiting for him to berate her about silly school-girl crushes and how he would never have a relationship with a student. What had she just done? She would never hear the end of this.
To say he was shocked would be an understatement. A relationship between student and teacher was forbidden, but she was at least of age. Thank Merlin. The amount of want he had held for this witch was indescribable. He never thought he would have a chance to be with her. He never thought she would even consider someone like him to pursue a relationship with. If this is truly what she wanted, then he would do right by her.
Hermione's heart hurt thinking about the rejection she thought she was going to receive until Severus finally spoke to her.
"I thought you would never ask."
They had been able to keep their relationship a secret for now. It was getting harder and harder as time went on to keep the secret, though. Members at the order meetings seemed to suspect something between them now, especially Minerva. She had found them talking alone in the kitchen of the safe house and Severus had had a hand on Hermione's waist. She had given them a disapproving look as they separated from each other quickly but never asked for an explanation. Now she just keeps a close eye on them every time they see her. Oh, well, though. She can think what she wants.
Now, a year later, they were in the midst of preparing for a war. The dark Lord was getting more confident each day about the outcome. The Order was preparing their recruits to fight but had nowhere near the number of followers as the other side. They were getting more nervous as the days wore on.
"I am so lucky to have you, Mia. You are my everything."
Hermione looked at him with a loving smile. "Tell me what you are thinking then. Don't keep it bottled up. You know I will always be here for you."
Severus sighed. "You are going to help The Order move Harry."
This was not a question. They had talked about how they were going to be moving Harry from one safehouse to another in the previous Order meeting. Hermione had volunteered herself to help. She could tell even then that Severus was worried for her wellbeing in this endeavor.
"Yes, I am. That is what was discussed. I can't go back on my word."
His eyes flashed with fear and his grip on her tightened even more. He was now holding her in a tight hug. His face was buried in her neck. She was surprised she could still breathe with how tight of a hold he had on her. It was like he was holding on to her for dear life. Then he talked. The vibrations tickled her neck. "The death eaters are going to attack you, and I can't promise that I will be able to keep you safe. Iam sorry."
She was shocked but only for a moment. She heard his emphasis on the 'I' when he apologized and realized that he must have been the one who leaked the information. She pulled back to look at him again. "You're right. You won't know who I am. I will be polyjuiced to look like Harry."
The plan was simple. There was going to be seven Harrys. The younger order members and Mundungus Fletcher were going to take Polyjuice potion to alter their appearance. After the brew was taken, they would fly by objects that couldn't be detected by the ministry such as brooms, Thestrals and even Hagrid's motor bike to the Burrow. Harry was still underage and had the trace on him which made things slightly more complicated, but they were sure that this would most likely work out with the best possible outcome.
"Have they told you who you will be going with yet?" Severus asked.
"No, that is to be decided at the last minute so that no information will leek." Hermione was hoping to initially be paired with Severus; but he had to stay out of this plan since he was the spy and could possibly blow his cover.
"I am supposed to attack too. I couldn't get The Dark Lord to change his mind. I will be wearing full death eater gear so no one from the order will know it's me fighting them. I am going to try to keep everyone safe, but I am mostly worried about you."
She gave him a sad smile. "There is bound to be a way that you could recognize me or at least know who I will be flying with."
Hermione wracked her brain. They needed to be subtle about this. Its not like they could send each other a Patronus really quick and give out the information. There could be multiple repercussions on both ends if someone overheard. "Maybe I could wear something to catch your attention?" she asked.
He shook his head no. "You all have to look identical. You can't be wearing anything that would make you stand out."
He had a point there. "What about wearing something under my clothes that held protection charm so you won't have to worry as much? Say, like a necklace or bracelet?" she asked again.
He seemed hesitant in his response. "That could work. But you just can't let it be seen."
"I could put a glamour on, so it won't show."
A smart idea, but it could tax her magic. He huffed out a sigh. "You need to save your magic on the fight that will break out when we attack you. It is hard to hold a charm if you are using all of your magic while fighting."
"Don't underestimate me, Sev. I think I know how to hold my own in a fight."
"I would never do that, and I think you are perfectly capable in fighting. However, I want you to concentrate on that solely and not have to worry about other minor things like glamours especially when facing death eaters."
At this she took a deep breath. "I guess you have a point there."
Silence fell between them for a moment and they both contemplated the situation. He needed to keep her safe. He couldn't lose another woman he loved. Every idea they had ended up with some kind of flaw. They couldn't risk the possibility of their motives being found out. They may could end up facing death if that was the case.
Severus was scared. He could actually admit that he was scared. "I can't lose you, Mia."
The look in his eyes told her everything. She saw his desperation. He wanted this to be over just as much as she did.
She responded to him with confidence. "And you won't lose me, Sev. We will get through this together."
Today was the day. It was time to move Harry.
Everyone met at 4 Private Drive for the occasion. Hermione hugged Harry as soon as she entered the house. Ron was close behind, too, bidding her a good evening. Hermione and Ron had not talked much since last year but still remained platonic. Their friendship fizzled the more he grew closer to Lavender. All was well with this, though. She had Severus, and that is all that mattered to her, even if nobody knew of their relationship.
Mad-eye told Harry of their plan after everyone was settled. "Told you he'd take it well." Hermione mused. She grabbed a piece of Harry's hair anyway and put it in the potion that he was holding in the front of the room. You could see it bubble up. She thought she may vomit.
The Polyjuice potion slithered down her throat just like the last time she had taken the brew. Everyone was watching as the potion started taking its desired effect. Hermione felt her features changing and started to grow uncomfortable. She kept reminding herself that she was doing this for her friend. She would get through this and so would Severus.
The pairs were then decided. Hermione was going to fly on a Thestral with Kingsley. She decided that she was very happy with this pairing. She also felt very comfortable with his ability to protect her.
They mounted their Thestral and waited until Mad-eye gave them the signal to take off. The Thestral jumped up and they flew quickly onto the route they were given. Hermione's fear of heights kicked in before they got through the clouds and she closed her eyes. She continued to hold onto Kingsley for dear life. She was shaking now.
"Are you ok, Hermione?" Kingsley bellowed.
Before she was able to answer, she heard a scream. She opened her eyes to see death eaters attacking the others. Kingsley maneuvered the Thestral through the sky the best he could.
"Hold them off, Hermione! I'll put up a shield!" He screamed through the chaos.
Hermione unsheathed her wand from her sleeve and started to fire hexes. There were at least five death eaters surrounding them. She could not tell who any of them were because if the masks and cloches they were wearing. She fired spell after spell at them but the were relentless. They would not back down. Kingsley saw that she was struggling. He was holding the shield charm as well as he could but the spells that bounced off of it were starting to tear it down.
"Hold on, Hermione! I'm going to try to shake them off."
Suddenly, Kingsley made the Thestral plunge to the ground. The idea had worked for a moment until she noticed another death eater coming up behind them again.
She shot a jinx at the figure but it bounced off. They must have a shield in place too. She continued to throw spells but they bounced off of the death eater again and again. The death eater had not thrown a spell at her yet and she wondered why.
Then it hit her.
Severus. He was there. He was going to protect her and she needed to try to protect him.
"Kingsley go back up. We need to help the others." Hermione yelled.
"What about the death eater behind us?"
"Don't worry about it, we can shake him off."
Kingsley flew back over the clouds. Hermione looked up just in time to see a green light flash and Hedwig tumble to the ground. "No!" She screamed. She promptly struck the death eater who killed Hedwig with a jinx that sent him toppling off his broom. She looked behind her again and saw Severus still following them.
Then, she heard the sound of apparition. She looked towards the sound and saw that Mundungus had fled leaving Mad-eye unattended. There was another green flash. Hermione watched it fly. It hit Mad-eye. He slumped over and toppled from his broom, too. Her eyes started to burn with tears.
"We are about halfway there, Hermione. Ward them off for just a bit longer. I am still holding the shield in place but it's not going to last." Kingsley yelled.
Looking back to the battle, she saw George get hit with a curse. He was flying with his father who was able to keep his hold on him as he passed out on his shoulder. Arthur maneuvered his Thestral towards the ground and Hermione ended up losing sight of them.
"Hermione, the shield is down. I couldn't hold it any more."
Shit.
Suddenly, a green flash flew passed Hermione's head. Her heart raced. Only another inch or so and she could have been dead. She looked over to see who had casted it and saw the long blonde hair of Yaxley. His hood was down, and mask was off. She could see that he was smiling and almost happy with the way he had almost killed her (or from his eyes, Harry). Severus had seen his attempt to kill her and cast a spell in his direction. Yaxley immediately started plummeting to the ground.
"Tonks, watch out!" Ron yelled. Hermione looked over to where Tonks and Ron were flying on their brooms was able to cast a shield charm for her. She held it tight as the death eater cast multiple spells that rebounded until she couldn't hold it any longer.
The death eater was still trailing her. Ron was then able to cast a shield for her just in time to block a green flash that would have hit her straight on. Thank Merlin Ron had his head screwed on straight tonight.
Another crackling curse flew by Hermione and caught her attention. It seemed to be moving in slow motion as she followed it with her eyes.
It hit Severus.
It hit him square in the chest.
Severus stopped flying in midair and grasped at his heart. The curse ripped through his body and he went immobile.
Hermione put her hand over her mouth in disbelief.
Her heart sank.
Her throat went dry.
She could not suppress the scream she let out as she saw his body plummeting to the ground. She lost sight of him as he fell under the clouds.
He was gone.
She couldn't protect him.
It was her fault.
He was gone.
She felt the Thestral descend for landing now.
They were so close, and Severus was gone.
"Hermione, brace for landing," Kingsley shouted.
She grabbed hold of him tight. She sobbed into his robes. She was numb. She lost her Severus.
Kingsley landed the Thestral and hopped off its back. Hermione was balling now and had to be pulled off the creatures back. Kingsley held her in his arms and lead her to the house. He told her everything would be fine now that she was at the safe house and she didn't have to endure anymore battling with the death eaters.
If only he knew what was really going through her mind.
Remus came running up to the two of them and pointed his wand towards Kingsley. He asked him for information about his identity, but Hermione tuned it out. She could only think of her loss. The feeling consumed her. She continued to cry.
Kingsley led Hermione through the door and set her in a chair. She tried to control her breathing and stop crying. She needed to. They can't know the real reason she was so distraught. She held her head in her hands. She could not bear the sight of anyone right now.
She heard comments about the battle that ensued as more people came into the house.
She finally looked up when she heard Molly get worked up. Arthur had just brought George into the house. Hermione saw that the one side of his face was bloody, and he was missing an ear. They laid him on the couch. Fred came over to help.
Bill walked in with Fluer then. "Mad-eye is dead. Mundungus fled as soon as he saw the battle."
Hemione continued to sulk. "Hermione, are you ok?" Ginny came to stand next to her. Hermione looked over to Ginny and saw a genuine look of concern pass her features. All she could do is shake her head no. She wanted to tell her friend everything, but she couldn't. Nobody knew about them, and nobody would never know about them now. Severus was gone.
Everyone was in the house now that it had started raining and things started to settle down. Molly was fussing over a tea kettle in the kitchen. Remus was performing healing charms on George while Tonks was washing his wounds. Remus was trying to reverse the damage to his ear as much as he could but the outcome was looking bleak. Lavender had come over soon after everyone had arrived and had led Ron up to his room to "calm him down." Gross. Bill and Fleur were sitting in the corner together snuggled up under a plush blanket by the fire.
Hermione wished that was her and Severus. She would never get that chance with him again. The life that she had known for the last year will never get a chance to continue. Severus was gone.
She started to cry again.
Suddenly, they heard the sound of apparition outside. Arthur got up ran out first to investigate followed by Kingsley and Remus.
"Death eaters!" Arthur yelled into the house.
They all brandished their wands as the others started to come out of the house for backup.
A man's voice was heard, then. "No, Arthur. It's me, Severus. Don't fire."
Hermione perked up. Severus? What? How? He was gone. There was no way.
Hemione got up from the chair and ran outside. She pushed her way through the crowd of Order members and saw him standing before her. He had dropped his death eater mask and cloche on the ground beside him. His hair was wet from the rain and he was panting. There was blood stained on his shirt, but he was here. That's all that mattered.
"Severus?" She asked.
He nodded at her.
"You're here," she stammered, running to him through the stinging rain. She threw her arms around him and buried her face into his shoulder.
"You're alive and you're here" she murmured. The crowd watched in stunned silence as he returned her embrace.