This... is a fic I started writing ages ago (and I mean it. It's been years. Many years. Possibly a decade or something). There are two reasons I haven't posted this earlier:
1) I knew this fic would become a huge one, and I wanted to be sure I'd be able to finish this (I hate leaving fics unfinished)
2) I was a little afraid of writing about intersex and gender issues, being myself a cis woman. (This point, in fact, still applies, but… here we go.)
And then, a couple of times I sort of drifted away from fanfics altogether, and even though I thought about this fic every now and then, nothing happened. I even had two betas for a while, thanks to both Onkoona and below_et_almost for the input on the first chapter(s).
It just figures I start posting this now that Hikago fandom is sort of dead, at least compared to the old times, but… whatever. I just looked at this fic today and realized it's absolutely idiotic to have written so much and never to share it with anyone. So if a single person reads the whole thing, I guess I'm happy!
Be warned: this will be long (there are about 150k of words atm, and the fic's not quite finished yet), and slow. My chapters are currently about 10k, if they feel too long I guess I can cut them in half. At least this first chapter I want to post as it is. It's just a prologue or something, and covers the elementary school time.
TL;DR …actually, just read the above, okay? ^^;
ETA: in case you prefer AO3, I have posted this there too. My username there is tuuli.
Chapter 1
It was a very ordinary Monday morning in the life of Shindou Hikaru. After a full day of freedom, having to wake up early and go to school was as tiresome as ever, and the newly begun week loomed ahead, seemingly infinite. The summer break was already left far behind, though the lingering heat still brought it vividly to mind. One could only trust that, like all the other weeks before, this one would also sooner or later reach the weekend. Better not to think of all those school weeks and Monday mornings a sixth-grader still had in front of him, and just deal with one week at a time.
Still half asleep Hikaru was sprawling on his desk, resting his head on his arms as he waited for the teacher to arrive to class – she was a little late, which was unusual. Finally the door opened, and he started to drag himself to his feet like everyone else, but froze halfway. Someone had followed the teacher into the class, someone unlike anyone he had ever seen before. Straightening his back he stared at the newcomer curiously.
"Good morning, class," the teacher said, and everyone replied, though for Hikaru it was just an automatic response – his attention was elsewhere. "This is Fujiwara Sadao-kun," the teacher went on. "He will be joining this class from now on. Please be kind to him."
The boy so introduced bowed. "Hello, I'm Fujiwara Sadao, though please, just call me Sai," he said softly. "I'm happy to meet you all!"
Hikaru stared, taking in the long hair, pale skin, and delicate features.
"So are you a boy or a girl?" he asked, honestly confused, and someone snickered. The teacher glared at him while Sai turned red and stammered something.
"What kind of a question is that, Shindou-kun?" she asked strictly. "Didn't you hear a word I just said? Now, for once, try to behave yourself."
"Sorry," Hikaru grinned. "It's just that he's prettier than any of the girls – don't take much, of course."
This did nothing to ease Sai's blush, and in addition it earned Hikaru sharp looks from nearly all the girls in the room. The teacher sighed, her hand touching shortly her temple. "Do us – and yourself – a favor and be quiet, would you."
.
It was time for recess. Sai didn't hurry on his way out, letting most people leave before him. The boy with the blond bangs (Shindou-kun – Sai could hardly forget the name after the introduction he had got) had been the first to rush out, clearly eager to escape the classroom for every short second. As Sai came to the yard, he was standing in the middle of it, a ball under his arm, his eyes scanning the other children.
Sai looked across the yard as well. He was planning to spend a moment just observing others, checking how they behaved, what they did, and who might be the likeliest to make friends. Right then the blond-banged boy happened to look at him, and for a moment their eyes met.
"Hey you!" the boy shouted and threw the ball. It bounced to Sai. "New guy! Come play with us."
Sai looked down at the ball and then at the boy, startled. "I… I can't play," he said, and one of the other kids snickered.
"Does he look like a soccer player to you?"
Shindou just waved aside his comment. "Shut up, we're one short. C'mon, it's not hard! Just give it a kick!"
Sai looked at the ball again, and smiled then. Soccer, huh? Maybe some day, but not yet. "Thank you, Shindou-kun. But I'll just watch as you play, if it's alright." He gave the ball a very soft, careful kick, and it rolled back to the boy.
"Whatever, suit yourself." He picked up the ball, still pausing to give Sai a look, as if waiting for him to change his mind.
"Let's play already!" one of his friends exclaimed. "Stop wasting time!"
"Okay, okay, sorry! So my team's one short, but…"
"I could play, Hikaru!" an eager voice put it. The boy just grimaced.
"No girls," he said flatly and kicked the ball, hard, and the game was on.
The boy ran off after the ball, and the girl gave a sullen look after him. Sai watched her curiously and she glanced at him, as if sensing his gaze. He gave her a hesitant smile.
"Hi, I'm Fujiwara Sai," he said. "We're in the same class, aren't we?"
"Yeah." She still gave him a long, weird look, as if trying to make up her mind. Then she shrugged and her lips twitched a little, half returning his smile. "I'm Fujisaki Akari. Nice to meet you."
They sat down together to follow the game. The blond-banged boy scored, and Akari cheered, having obviously already forgotten her annoyance.
"Do you know him well?" Sai asked, more interested in watching her reactions than the game.
"Yeah. We're neighbors." For some reason Akari blushed a little. "He's such a jerk, don't mind him."
"I thought he was nice," Sai said. "He invited me to the game! And it looks like they're having fun," he added thoughtfully. "Maybe I should try it sometime."
"I like soccer," Akari said. "But he never wants to play with me. Unless we're somewhere alone and there's no one else around."
"That is stupid," Sai stated firmly. "I'm sure you're just as good as many boys."
This time Akari's smile reached her eyes. "Thanks."
As they talked, the ball escaped the game and rolled to them. Shindou jogged after it. "Are you really going to spend the whole break chatting with Akari?" He grinned. "She's going to bore you to death."
"No, she isn't," Sai replied while Akari glared at the boy. "I like talking with her. She's telling me a lot about everything you two have been doing." In fact, he had already come into the conclusion that this boy was Akari's favorite subject.
"Oh?" Shindou rolled his eyes at the girl. "I still think you'd have more fun playing with us."
Sai smiled, a little shyly. "Your game does look fun, though I'm afraid I might not be that good…"
"I bet!" one of Shindou's friends said. "Why do you want to play with him? I bet he can't play anything!"
"I can," Sai said indignantly. The boy raised his eyebrows at him.
"Oh? Like what?"
"Well, I…" Sai's eyes darted aside, and he couldn't help fidgeting a little. Everyone stood unmoving around him, though, waiting for his reply. In the end he took a deep breath. "I… I play go," he said then firmly.
There was a moment's silence. "Go?" Akari said then. "What?"
Shindou laughed out loud. "That board game?" he asked incredulously. "You got to be kidding. My grandpa likes it."
"Go is a wonderful game," Sai said, offended. "You've obviously never tried it! I don't know any other game that is so deep, at the same time so simple and demanding, so full of beauty and… and…" His explanation faltered when he noticed the looks he was getting, and he fell silent, looking from face to face, hoping to see a sign that someone understood. Finally his eyes settled on Shindou.
"Go," the boy stated flatly as their eyes met, clutching the ball in his arm, "has got to be the most boring thing ever."
Mist covered Sai's vision at those horrible, blunt words so degrading his beloved game. Something got stuck in his throat and he swallowed. He tried to hold it back (especially when he heard someone whispering, "He's gonna cry? What a baby!"), but the emotion was too overwhelming.
Shindou looked startled, and perhaps a little frightened, at his reaction. He grasped the ball with both hands and bounced it – softly – against Sai's forehead. It made Sai pause, blink at the boy and then at the ball, just when the first tears were about to roll down his cheeks.
Shindou pointed at the ball. "If you think go is fun, you seriously got to try soccer. "Now, c'mon!" He pointed at the rocks they had piled up to indicate the goal. "Kick it!"
Sai looked at the ball, the goal, and the boy pointing insistently to it. He wiped his eyes clear, sniffed once, and gave the ball a kick. He didn't hit it well, and it bounced away, missing the goal widely. Some of the boys laughed, and Shindou shook his head, sighing.
"That…" he said, but the school bell saved Sai from hearing what he had to say, ringing to announce the end of the break.
The rest of the day Sai stayed apart from everyone else. He noticed Shindou giving him frowning looks at times, but pretended not to see them. He also heard the snickering whispers behind his back, but those too he ignored. Once the day ended he promptly took his backpack and headed out.
He was walking across the yard when he heard running steps behind him. Back stiffening a little, he continued his policy of ignoring everything, but soon the steps reached him and Akari was walking by his side. The girl gave him a smile.
"Where do you live?" she asked. Sai was too surprised at the sudden question to be able to do anything other than blink.
"What?"
"Where do you live! Me and Hikaru," Akari pointed over her shoulder, and looking back Sai saw Shindou was following close by, "we always walk to school together. I did say we're neighbors, right? So we were thinking we could all walk home together, if you live in the same direction."
The way Shindou was lagging behind made Sai wonder if it really was 'we' who had been thinking so.
"I'm not walking," he said. "My mother's coming to pick me up. It's, its' just that we've just moved here, and I don't know the way so well, and, and…" he went on, blushing a little and feeling the need to explain.
"Where did you move from?" Akari asked curiously.
"Kyoto."
"Kyoto!" she exclaimed. "That's lovely! I've been there once and it was great! Why did you move?"
"Because… because of… my father's job," Sai muttered, staring at the ground.
"I see. Were you sad to move? Leaving all your friends…"
"Not really." Sai looked up, looking for an escape, and saw a car that belonged to the car service his mother used waiting by the school's gate. He smiled quickly at Akari, nodded at Shindou. "Mother's waiting. See you tomorrow."
.
"How was your first day?" his mother asked as the car rolled away from the school.
"Okay," Sai said, looking out. "I made some friends," he went on, as he knew this was what she wanted to hear. "Did you see that boy with blond bangs? We were playing soccer together."
She smiled at him. "That's wonderful," she said. "I'm sure everything will go much better here."
Sai said nothing, just kept on staring out of the window.
…
The next days passed slowly, in quite the same vein as the first. Sai clearly hadn't made a great first impression on his classmates. At least he was, in general, left in peace, though he did notice how some groups of boys kept on glancing in his direction, whispering and laughing. There were some occasional gibes from them, too, but he forced himself not to react, and usually they tired quickly. To his surprise, he realized that what hurt him more was the way Shindou ignored him completely. Sai, in his turn, did his best to hide his feelings and was careful not to show that he cared one way or another. During recess he stayed mainly by himself, thinking about go problems. No one seemed to be interested in spending time with him, anyway – with the exception of Akari who occasionally talked with him a little. When he realized others were teasing her about it he decided to ignore her as well, just answering when she said something but not continuing the discussion, and after a while she too left him alone.
The PE classes especially became something he hated – though he had guessed that beforehand. It had hardly been any better at his old school. In fact, he thought to himself, remembering his laughing classmates and their grim-faced PE teacher, it had been worse. Perhaps he should be happy about the change. Here, at least, he liked the teacher who was young, cheerful, and didn't demand anything impossible. Changing clothes had been an ordeal in his old school. Here, so far, nothing had happened. Small mercies, he thought glumly to himself.
Every day his mother came to pick him up, and every day he smiled at her and told her what a fun day it had been, careful not to show any sign of trouble in her presence.
One day, the teacher needed someone to help her during recess, and Sai was the first (and only) to volunteer. All she did was make a big pile of copies, and she handed the pile to Sai and asked him to take them to the class and put one of each on the students' desks. That was quickly done. The teacher had said he could either go out or stay inside the rest of the break, and it wasn't a difficult choice. He walked to the window and opened it to let in some fresh air, and, seeing others playing outside, stopped to watch for a moment.
Shindou and his friends were playing soccer again. This time Akari wasn't watching them, or at least he couldn't see her. He stared a short moment at the boys running after the ball, turned then away thinking about reading the book he had taken with him. He'd barely taken a step when something suddenly whooshed by his head, making him yelp. The football bounced into a corner. He glanced behind, at the open window, and ran to it.
"Shindou!"
Sure enough, the boy with the bleached bangs was grinning behind the window, his friends laughing and pointing behind him. Sai leaned out of it and gave him his severest glare.
"Pretty good kick, huh?" Shindou said, unmoved. "Did I hit you?"
"No," Sai said icily. "Sorry to tell you, but you missed." And with that he drew in and slammed the window shut. Shindou was shouting outside, but he didn't listen – only after a while did he realize the boy probably wanted his ball back. He gave an uncharacteristic snort and sat at his desk, taking out his book. No more 'soccer' during this break – maybe that would teach them.
After a short while the door opened. He looked up in surprise, expecting the teacher, but it was Shindou who appeared in the doorway.
He lowered his book on the desk. "You're not supposed to be inside during recess," he informed Shindou calmly.
"Oh? Well, I wouldn't have to be, if you'd given our ball back!" Shindou was downright glowering at him, and he frowned.
"Maybe that'll teach you to think twice next time. Something could have broken when you kicked it in like that!"
"But nothing did!" Shindou's gaze swept across the room, but he couldn't see the ball from where he was standing. "So where's the ball?"
"Why are you asking me?" Sai turned back to his book. "You're the one who kicked it in."
"And you're just annoying! Such a teacher's pet!" Shindou peeked under the desks. "No wonder you've got no friends but your stupid game! Who'd want to be friends with someone like you anyway?"
Sai slammed the book down on the desk, suddenly feeling something stingy in his eyes. "So why don't you just take your ball and go!" He jumped up and grasped the ball, throwing it at Shindou. Or, at least, towards Shindou's general direction – the boy made a dive for the ball, but didn't catch it, and it bounced away through the open door. Shindou shot yet one glare at Sai and rushed after it.
Sai stood by his desk, glowering after the boy, and, sniffing loudly, was just about to sit down, ignore it all, and go on reading, when he heard voices from the corridor.
"Shindou-kun!" It was the teacher, sounding surprised. "What are you doing here? And you know you shouldn't be playing with a ball inside!"
Serves him right, Sai thought to himself as he listened to Shindou's half-hearted excuses.
"But it wasn't me!" Shindou was saying. "Fujiwara's the one who threw it!"
"Shindou-kun." The teacher's voice was strict. "It's ugly to be blaming others like that. Fujiwara-kun was hardly the one to bring the ball inside, was he? Nor was he the one running in the corridors with it. Now, I will keep this ball the rest of the day. Stay behind after school, and we'll have a talk about this."
"But, honestly…" Shindou still tried.
Sai sighed. He laid his book on the desk and walked to the door. "Sensei?" he said, and as the teacher turned to look at him, he bowed. "I'm sorry. Shindou-kun told you the truth, I did throw the ball. I had opened the window and he happened to kick it in, and… he just came to get the ball. I tried to throw it to him, but my aim was bad."
The teacher looked at him and then at Shindou. "Well. You both should be more careful, then. And, Shindou-kun, you shouldn't have come inside." She glanced at Sai. "Couldn't you just have thrown the ball through the window back to them?"
"I…" Sai didn't know what to say, so he just bowed his head again. "I'm sorry," he muttered.
"No harm done, I guess. I will still keep the ball rest of the day, you'll get it when you leave, Shindou-kun. Now, no point for you to go out anymore. Wait in the class, recess is about to end." She left with the ball, and the two boys stared after her. Then they glanced at each other, and, as their eyes met, quickly looked away.
"Sorry about that," Sai muttered.
"Whatever." Shindou sounded a little annoyed, but, Sai thought, somehow not truly angry anymore. "Shouldn't have kicked it inside in the first place."
"That was stupid," Sai agreed.
"It was an accident," Shindou snorted.
"Oh?" Sai glanced at him again. "I thought you were trying to hit me."
Shindou snorted again. "Don't be stupid."
They went into the classroom. Sai returned to his place and grasped his book.
"What are you reading?" Shindou asked as he started to put it in his bag. He hesitated.
"It's a book about go. Would you like to…"
"I don't think so," Shindou said, sinking to his chair. He shook his head as Sai put the book away. "Book about go," he said, as if that were the most incredulous thing he'd ever heard. "You're such a weirdo."
Sai chose to say nothing at that.
"I mean, I just don't get you," Shindou went on. "Reading about a board game all alone? Is that your idea about fun? You just ignore everyone and… then you were mean to Akari too."
Sai gave a start. "I… I wasn't…"
"She was trying to be nice to you! And you just pushed her away. Isn't that being mean?"
Sai paused, considering it. "I'm sorry," he said then. "I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. I just didn't want them to laugh at her for being friends with me."
Shindou gave him a along look. "You're such a weirdo," he finally repeated. He might have said more, but then the others returned to the class, and he turned away, leaving Sai to stare at his back.
Once the day ended Sai again walked to the gate where his mother's car was waiting, and like once before there came steps running after him. This time he turned to look, about to get into the car, and saw to his surprise it was Shindou. Shindou didn't even look at him, but peeked in through the still open door.
"Hi!" Hikaru gave the woman his best, sweetest smile. "I'm Shindou Hikaru. I was wondering if Fujiwara-kun could stay behind a bit longer, to play with us."
Sai's mother glanced at him, questioning, and he blinked, stunned. Before he could say anything, she smiled.
"Of course," she said. "Sadao, call me when you need me to come to pick you up – but don't stay too long." She nodded at them. "Have fun."
The car drove away. Shindou was staring after it, and Sai was staring at Shindou.
"You've got a cell phone?" Shindou asked finally, glancing at Sai. "And your mom uses a car service?"
"Well, yeah." For some reason he felt himself blushing again. "What… did you want to do?" He was somehow relieved to see that Akari was there, too, standing behind Shindou.
Shindou turned to face him, backpack hanging from one shoulder, a football grasped in the other arm. He grinned. "I thought I'd teach you some soccer."
They led him to a nearby park, where they started a game, Shindou against the two of them. He soon figured out Akari really wasn't that good at soccer – but then again, compared to him, she was a champion. It was kind of fun, though, to run after the ball, but it would have been more fun if the ball went where he wanted when he kicked it.
And all that running was kind of exhausting, too. Finally he sat down on the grass, panting. "I need to catch my breath," he said as Shindou ran to him to see what was the matter. The other boy shook his head.
"You can't get out of breath that easily!"
"Sorry." Sai took a deep breath and attempted to stop panting. "I guess playing go isn't such great physical exercise," he admitted with a bit sheepish grin.
"I guess we could have a little break." Shindou dropped down to sit on the ground, and as Akari sat down as well he found himself the only one standing, and so he too settled down between them, secretly relieved.
A moment silence reigned between them. When it was beginning to grow awkward, Sai cleared his throat.
"Thanks for playing with me," he said. "It's been fun."
Shindou shrugged. "I guess. But you really suck at soccer."
"I've never played before," Sai defended himself. "I'm not good with physical stuff."
"Are you good at go?" Akari asked.
"Yes!" he exclaimed, smiling at her. He glanced at Shindou. "Actually, I was thinking… I was thinking that maybe… as you're teaching me soccer, I could… maybe I could… teach you… go…"
His voice trailed off at the look Shindou gave him. "Why would I want to learn go?"
"You can't know what it's like unless you try," Sai said in a defensive tone. "You could like it!"
"I doubt it," Shindou said very flatly. "Grandpa tried to teach me once, and I almost fell asleep."
"I think it could be fun," Akari put in hurriedly, seeing how Sai's lips tightened and quivered a little. "How is it played?"
Delighted, Sai turned to explain the basics to her. Shindou stared at them a moment, and fell then on the ground on his back. "Booooriiiing," he breathed quietly, closing his eyes.
Sai shot him a glare, and Akari rolled her eyes. "I told you he's a jerk," she muttered under her breath.
"So?" Shindou rolled over and stood up. "If you want to turn this into a go lesson, I guess I'll just go home."
Sai opened his mouth for an angry retort, but paused then to consider. "It's getting late," he said then. "I think it is time for us to go home. There's still homework to be done." Shindou rolled his eyes at this while he took out his phone. "But it's been fun. Thanks." His smile was bright again, with no trace left of his recent annoyance. Shindou eyed him a little weirdly as he made his phone call, chatting happily with his mother, but he didn't pay any attention to that.
After that day, the three of them spent many afternoons together playing soccer (Sai wasn't really getting much better, but at least he could run a bit longer than before) and sitting in the grass, Sai teaching go to Akari (she wasn't getting much better either), Hikaru snoring beside them.
If someone had asked Hikaru why he had decided to start teaching this weird girly boy soccer, he wouldn't have been able to say anything. He wondered about it himself at times, watching as Sai flailed after the ball, having once again not been able to catch the easiest pass. And he also couldn't help wondering why Sai wanted to learn – he clearly had no eye for the ball whatsoever, nor did he seem to be that interested in soccer. Maybe he just wanted to have some friends? That might be it.
But every time Hikaru decided that it wasn't worth it, that next time Sai would return with the run-away ball he'd declare that these little soccer sessions were over, Sai would place the ball on the ground, give him such a serious, at the same time wide-eyed and determined look, apologize, and promise earnestly to do better next time – and he found himself unable to do anything else but go on.
And, truth to be told, he enjoyed being with Sai more than he would have thought. Part of the time Sai would be so grown-up it was almost painful, but then he'd get excited about the silliest things, easily hurt but also easily forgiving, with such mood swings that it was hard to keep up with him. All that unpredictability made him fun company, though, and his excitement was easily infectious, and soon Hikaru realized he was looking forward to the next time they'd go to play.
…
And so winter came and the new year started. Nothing much changed besides the date, though. Sai knew his classmates still thought of him as a some kind of a freak – the way he was getting the best grades and always behaving so immaculately didn't really help – but he didn't mind. At least Hikaru was friends with him. Yes, he had started to think of his friend by given name. For one thing, it was such a fitting name for the boy; for another, he had always found the custom of using family names somehow distant and cold. Hikaru had just rolled his eyes when he'd timidly asked if it was okay, and said that he didn't care one way or other. As for their other schoolmates, nowadays he got better along with the girls, partly thanks to Akari. He didn't mind that, either.
"You know, the way you hang around with girls it's really easy to take you for one," Hikaru told him bluntly one day as they were leaving school. "If you wanna try playing with us some time, you know you can. You're not that bad anymore."
"I know." Sai smiled at him. "Thanks. Maybe some day." That was what he always said.
"Oh, is that your mother's car?" Akari asked, spotting the car waiting by the school. "Aren't you coming to play with us today?"
"Oh!" Sai gave her a wide-eyed look. "I totally forgot! I'm sorry, I can't… I've my doctor's appointment today."
"Doctor's appointment?" Hikaru asked. "What? But we're having the health check soon, aren't we?"
Sai blushed a little. "Oh it's just, our family doctor, you see… It's too bad I can't stay behind today," he went on, changing the subject, "but could we meet tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow? Sure…"
"Umm," Akari uttered, hesitantly. "Actually, I was wondering, Hikaru… my sister's school's having a festival, and she gave me tickets for free takoyaki, and… I was thinking that maybe you'd go with me?" She blushed a little as she spoke – clearly she had been going to ask him on the way home, when they were alone.
"Huh?" Hikaru gave her a glance and tossed his head a little. "No thanks."
"But…" Akari was clutching the tickets she had taken out, hard. "Why not? It's free food, Hikaru!"
Hikaru marched on, not looking at her. "I said no thanks, okay?"
"Why aren't you going with her?" Sai asked. Hikaru refused to roll his eyes at him, though he very much wanted to.
"Why do you think?" he just muttered.
Akari's lips were in a tight line. "Well, if you won't…" She turned to Sai and gave him a sweet smile. "Would you like to come with me?"
"Of course! Why don't we all go together?" Sai smiled brightly at Hikaru, who had turned to glare at him. "I'm sure it'd be lots of fun!"
"I have only two tickets, though…" Akari said hesitantly.
"No problem!" Sai waved her worries aside. "You use them, I can pay for myself." He gave Hikaru a strict look. "You are coming too, aren't you?"
"Whatever." The other boy turned away. "Maybe."
"It's 2 pm, Haze Middle School," Akari said as Sai was getting into his mother's car. "See you there?"
"Sure." He nodded and smiled, and the car drove away.
Hikaru stood a moment watching after it. "His mom's still picking him up," he pointed out. "Do they live far away or something?"
"I don't know," Akari said. "But she seems awfully nice from what I've seen. Maybe she's just a bit overprotective."
…
When Hikaru and Akari arrived to the Haze Middle School for the school festival, Sai was already waiting for them by the gate. He waved happily as he noticed them. "Finally!" he exclaimed. "Akari, thanks so much for inviting me too, this looks so fun!"
Akari laughed at his eager tone as they entered the school yard. She paused to watch the different booths that filled it. "I hope it'll be fun, too! Say, what would you want to do first? My sister told me about a play the drama club—"
"How about some takoyaki?" Hikaru cut her off, and Akari rolled her eyes. "What?" the boy went on. "I'm hungry, and you promised me free food!"
"Okay, okay," Akari muttered. "We just have to find the right booth."
It took them a little while to do that for there were many booths selling many kinds of delicious foods that made Hikaru's mouth water, and the crowd the cloudless if a little chilly winter day had attracted didn't make it easier. Finally Akari spotted her sister behind one food booth, and soon Hikaru was happily munching his takoyaki. "This is good!" he exclaimed between bites, mouth full. Akari said nothing, just sighed.
Hikaru was just wondering if he could talk Sai into buying him some more, when Sai suddenly stopped dead. Hikaru was about to ask him what the matter was when he breathed, "They're playing go!" and rushed away. Hikaru and Akari shared a look and ran after him.
Sai had stopped by one booth that was, in fact, nothing more than a single table. Coming to his side Hikaru saw that there really was a go board on it – some middle-aged man was trying to solve some kind of problem, and apparently failing. On the other side of the table sat a lone boy, short-haired, with spectacles and Haze's school uniform.
Sai was staring at the prizes on the table, a strange light in his eyes. "That book…" he whispered. "I want that book…"
Hikaru gave the prizes a look, and saw just one book among them. "Life and death… what?" he frowned, trying to read the strange kanji.
"Touya Meijin's life-and-death problems," Sai said very softly. The middle-aged man had left, and he sat down on the now free chair, giving a smile to the boy on the other side.
"Can I try next?"
"Of course!" The boy seemed delighted that someone around his age was interested in the game. He arranged the stones on the board. "Here."
Sai took one look at the board, smiled gently, and placed a white stone on it.
"That was fast!" The spectacled boy seemed genuinely impressed. "Here's your…" He started to give Sai a fruit drink, but Sai shook his head.
"Give me one that's hard enough to win the book," he said.
"Hard enough for the book?" The boy blinked. "Well, just a moment…"
"Who's that Touya Meijin?" Hikaru bent to whisper into Sai's ear while the boy was leafing through the book.
"He's the best go-player currently living! I didn't know he'd made a book like that. I'd love to get it…"
"Couldn't you just buy it?" Hikaru asked, straightening his back. Sai never seemed to lack for money.
"Sure." Sai smiled at him. "But it's more fun to win it, isn't it?"
That, Hikaru could understand.
"Okay, here we go." The boy found what he had been looking for, and started placing stones on the board. "Now, where must white play next to live?"
Hikaru looked at the stones on the board – in his eyes they formed just a random, incomprehensible mess. "So that's supposed to be hard?" he said lightly. "How hard?"
"That's a dan-level problem," the boy replied. That, of course, told nothing to Hikaru. "Touya Akira would probably be able to solve it," the boy went on, as if that would make him any wiser.
"Touya Akira?"
"That's the Meijin's son," Sai said, eyes on the board. "He's about our age, and already good enough to become pro. It'd be great to get to play with him some day…" He grasped a stone, but right at that moment someone behind his back stumped a cigarette on the board.
Sai stared at it with wide eyes – a cigarette stump right where he had been about to play. "What are you doing?!" the spectacled boy exclaimed angrily. Hikaru spun around.
A redheaded boy a little older than them, dressed in traditional clothing, was standing behind Sai's chair, watching the board with a wide grin.
"Who cares about go? Or about Touya Akira? That guy's nothing but a pathetic loser."
Sai turned slowly around, eyes still shocked.
"Why are you wasting your time with this shit?" the newcomer went on, a grin still plastered on his face as he met Sai's wide eyes. "Shougi's a thousand times more fun than go!"
The shock disappeared suddenly from Sai's face. He bounced to his feet, slamming a hand against the board. "You… you…" He seemed to be too angry for words, his whole body literally shaking with fury. Hikaru could but stare. He had never seen Sai like this – he had never even imagined Sai could be like this. Akari was hiding behind his back.
The newcomer was watching Sai with a raised eyebrow – if the younger boy's anger startled him, he didn't show it. "Yeah? You want to say something?"
"How dare you!" Sai finally managed to exclaim. "How dare you put off your cigarette on a go board!"
"Easily. What are you getting so worked up about?"
Breathing heavily, Sai closed his eyes, clearly trying to cool his head. He glanced at the board the spectacled boy had already cleaned up. "It was the correct move, too…" he muttered. "How can someone who speaks so disrespectfully about go solve such a difficult problem so quickly…"
"Easily," the other repeated, grinning again. "I told you, go's a dumb game. I… "
Sai turned his back to him and sat down by the board again. "Give me a new problem," he said. The boy on the other side of the board gave him a worried look. He sat on his chair, back straight, meeting the boy's eyes levelly. "Please."
"Umm," the boy said. "I think…"
"I think you should stop ignoring me like that!" A hand grasped Sai's shoulder and turned him around again. "I was talking to you!"
"I wasn't talking to you," Sai replied coldly, trying to pull himself free. Hikaru, who had been following the exchange with a somewhat stunned look on his face, suddenly spun into action.
"Hey!" he yelled, grasping the stranger's arm. "Keep your hands off him!"
"Oh?" the other turned to look at him. "What, is this your girlfriend or something?"
"Kaga, that's enough!" the spectacled boy suddenly snapped. "Leave them be."
No one paid any attention to him. Hikaru glared at this strange guy, Kaga or whatever his name was, and received a rather annoyed look in return.
"You stay out of this," Kaga snarled at Hikaru. "It's none of your business."
Sai used the chance when Kaga's attention was elsewhere and pulled his shoulder free. "He's right," he said to Hikaru, turning his back to Kaga again. "Besides, it's really not worth it. Now, I still want to win that book, so give me a new…"
"There was a prize for solving that problem?" Kaga stood behind Sai's chair, arms crossed over his chest. He shot a look at the spectacled boy. "Tsutsui, why don't you give me my prize."
"What?" Sai exclaimed, while the spectacled boy grasped the book, uncertain of what to do with it. "You don't deserve that book!"
"I solved the problem, didn't I?" Kaga tilted his head, reading the title of the book Tsutsui was still holding. He snarled. "Okay, I want that book, if only to burn it. Give it here!"
He reached out his hand, demanding. Sai let out an angry breath, stood up, and turned to face him. "You think it's yours? Well, you'd better show me you really deserve it." He met Kaga's gaze without flinching. "Let's play a game. Winner gets the book."
Kaga raised his eyebrows at him. "You've got guts, punk," he said. "You wanna play against me? Fine. If you win, I'll give you my book – if I win, you'll jump into the school's pond."
"Whatever you want," Sai stated, seemingly not too interested.
"Sai!" Akari bent to whisper into his ear. "It's January! You'll catch a cold!"
"It's fine," Sai answered her calmly. "I'm not going to lose."
"Confident, aren't you?" Kaga had sat down on the other side of the board. He snapped open his fan and leaned forward, one elbow on the table. "Let's get started then!"
Hikaru watched restlessly as Sai and Kaga chose for color (Akari explained that part to him.) He was still full of adrenaline, ready to pick a fight with that annoying guy, no matter how much bigger he was, but… watching Sai as the game started made him to swallow all the biting comments he had on his tongue. Sai had many faces and he had thought he knew them all – the teary eyes and quivering lips, the sheer determination to do better this time, the happy, bubbly joy when Hikaru complimented his kick – but this look he had seen never before.
There was something of the familiar determination, but stronger: calm, self-confident knowledge that he could do what he wanted – it wasn't just about trying harder. His eyes were sharp, face impassive, and he played his moves with such exact precision that though Hikaru didn't have a clue what was going on, he had a feeling he wouldn't want to be facing Sai in this game.
"How's it going?" Akari whispered to him.
"Why are you asking me?" Hikaru whispered back, a bit harshly. "You're the one who's been learning go!"
It was hard – no, impossible to say who was winning or losing, but watching the players' faces Hikaru concluded that the game was probably quite close. Sai's face, of course, didn't tell him much, but this redheaded jerk had lost his haughty demeanor and seemed to be wholly focusing on the game. He didn't look overly worried yet, though, so maybe he was leading?
Looking at the rest of the audience – Hikaru suddenly realized the game had actually attracted a small crowd – he decided it probably had to be a pretty good game. Everyone was watching in silence, eyes fixed on the board. That spectacled boy, Tsutsui, in fact, didn't seem to be able to look away. His mouth was a little open and he didn't even seem to breathe as he followed each move with slightly wide eyes, spectacles sliding down his nose.
Sai made a move; Kaga's fan snapped shut, calling Hikaru's eyes to him. The older boy was staring at the board intently, the slightest frown on his face. For a while time seemed to stand still, and Hikaru too found himself holding his breath. Then Kaga took a stone and played it, and everyone's attention switched to Sai.
He was as calm and unruffled as ever before. He didn't spend time thinking. Kaga had barely made his move when he grasped the next stone. He placed it on the board, and Kaga closed his eyes. A moment he stayed like that, a tiny, strange smile tugging his lips. Then he opened his eyes and looked at Sai.
"Tsutsui," he said, not taking his eyes off his opponent. "Why don't you give the kid his book. I'd say he's earned it."
"Huh?" Tsutsui snapped out of it, and for a moment didn't seem to understand what he was talking about. Then his hands grasped the book and he started to hand it to Sai before the implications really registered. "Wait, are you resigning?"
Kaga gave him a glare out of the corner of his eye. "Just rub it in, will you…"
"Yay!" Hikaru slammed Sai on the back. "You did win!"
"Ye-yeah." Hikaru's slam seemed to have emptied Sai's lungs of air. "Please don't beat me, Hikaru…" He gave Kaga a curious look. "That was a good game. You play fun go – I don't understand why you seem to hate it so much. Do you want to discuss the game?"
"Not… particularly," Kaga said rather dryly. "But you really know how to play, don't you? That was pretty amazing." He tapped his chin with his fan, watching Sai thoughtfully. "Say, Tsutsui… how's your go club going?"
"You know it's not going at all," Tsutsui muttered.
"Thought so." Kaga grinned. "Still haven't found two more players for the tournament, huh? Well, how about recruiting this kid?" He pointed his fan at Sai.
Sai blinked. Tsutsui blinked. "What?" they said at the same time.
"Now, you see…" Kaga leaned across the table. "This fool here," he pointed this time at Tsutsui, "is trying to get a go club started at Haze. They're saying they'll make the club official if he'll get two other people and enter a team tournament. But so far, it's just him. But, you know…" he gave Sai a bit crooked smile. "You, me and him would make a pretty good team. Well, apart from him, of course, but we can afford to have one weaker player. So how about it?"
"I'm not a student in Haze," Sai pointed out the obvious.
"So?" Kaga spread his arms. "No one will have to know."
Sai frowned. "Someone might find out. Besides, that would be kind of cheating. I don't think I'm even going to go to Haze, so…"
"Oh?" Hikaru cut him off. "Where are you going, then?" He and Akari would both go to Haze, which was the logical choice for most kids in the area. Then again, he didn't even know what Sai's 'area' was yet.
"Probably Kaio," Sai said, and Tsutsui groaned, head falling to his hands.
"Why does Kaio always get all the best!" he wailed.
"I, um, I'm sorry?" Sai muttered, looking a little startled at his reaction. "I, just, I think that's what my parents…"
"Oh, don't mind me," Tsutsui said with a small, if a little bitter, laugh. He sighed, shook his head, and started clearing the board. "Touya Akira most likely also goes to Kaio," he muttered to himself. "If he and you are on Kaio's team next year, there's no point even dreaming about winning against them…"
"One should always dream," Sai said quietly as he stood up, a bit uncertain of what the other was talking about. He bowed his head a little. "It was a pleasure to meet you," he said, to which Kaga snorted. "It was," he insisted. "I'm happy I got to play that game with you, Kaga-san. I would never have imagined getting to play such a game here. I just wish," he looked sternly at the older boy, "that in the future you would act more respectfully where go is concerned."
Kaga stared at him blankly. Then he rolled his eyes and got up. "Whatever. Quite a girlfriend you've got," he said to Hikaru, ruffling the boy's hair as he passed him.
"You…!" Hikaru started after him, but Akari grasped one arm and Sai got the other, and they stopped him.
It took a while to make the boy calm down, but eventually they left Tsuitsui to his go booth and started again strolling around the festival. After a while, Hikaru suddenly glanced at Sai with a strange look on his face.
"Why?" was all he said, and Sai blinked at him.
"What?"
"Why can't you be like that with soccer? So… so focused."
"One should be focused at soccer?" Sai sounded as if this thought was completely new to him, and Hikaru let out an exasperated groan.
"But you were so, so cool there, Sai!" Akari exclaimed. "Can you teach me to play like that?"
"I'd be happy to try," Sai said with a bright smile. "What about you, Hikaru? Would you…"
"As if," the boy grunted. "What's so cool about winning a board game against some crackpot, anyway?"
Sai and Akari shared a look and said nothing.
.
Later that day, as Sai was replaying the game in his room, his thoughts returned to something Tsutsui had said.
Touya Akira. Would probably go to Kaio. They were the same age, which meant they might even be in the same class. Excitement fluttered in his stomach, so great he couldn't help but grin.
And then he remembered what Hikaru had said, when he'd asked them about it, and the grin faded away. Hikaru and Akari, they would go to Haze.
He took the next stone, but didn't yet place it on the board.
Touya Akira. Hikaru and Akari. Akari and Hikaru. Touya Akira. Touya. Hikaru.
He bit his lip, suddenly not seeing the board anymore. A long while passed and he didn't move. Then he finally put the go stone back into the bowl, and went downstairs. He found his mother in the living room, reading. Father was somewhere with a business partner.
"Mother?" She looked up at him. "Which middle school am I going to?"
"Kaio, of course," she said, eyes returning to the book. "It's the best school in Tokyo."
"But… couldn't I…" His voice was very small in his ears, and he cleared his throat, speaking more firmly. "Couldn't I go to Haze?"
"Haze?" She looked up again. "Why?"
"It's… it's where everyone else is going. My friends. Shindou. And Akari-san."
She frowned a little. "Haze…? I don't think I know this school. Is it a good one?"
"It's… it's pretty ordinary," he admitted. "But certainly not bad! And, and everyone, pretty much everyone from my class is going there. I'd like to stay together with them."
"I don't know…" She was again looking at her book, but clearly not reading. "Wouldn't going to the best school have to be the priority here?"
"But they're my friends, mother! You know… you know it's not easy… for me to make friends. And you'd like Shindou-kun, I'm sure of that! He's very, very…" He paused, looking for words. "Energetic."
She gave him a small smile. "Would I, now? Maybe I should meet him. Why don't you bring him over some day."
So, next time when the three of them were done with their game in the park and about to go their separate ways, Sai took a deep breath.
"Would you like to come over on Sunday?" Hikaru and Akari paused, surprised, and turned to look at him. "I… I think mother would like to meet you, so… so, if you can…"
"It might be cool to see where you live," Hikaru said at the same time as Akari said, "Sunday? I can't, I've got my dance lesson."
"Oh, that's too bad," Sai said, hoping he managed to keep the guilt out of his voice – he very well knew when she had her lessons. "But you can come then, Hikaru?"
The boy nodded. "Sure!"
.
And so on Sunday afternoon Hikaru stood by the gate of an impressive villa in a better part of the city, and wondered if he in the end should have listened to his mother who had insisted he should wear something other than his old yellow-black sweater. "Stop nagging, it's just Sai!" he'd told her when she was wondering if he should bring something, not quite understanding why she made such a big fuss over it. He was just visiting a friend, right?
He had to admit that although he had guessed Sai's home would be something on the grander side, this a was a bit more impressive he had imagined. He peeked in through the gate, seeing a walkway made of pale-colored pebbles that formed an abstract mosaic. It lead to a pure white building with a pillared entrance. It had snowed a little during the night, and there was still some snow covering the grass, adding to the pure image of the place. Hikaru stared at the building a while, and shook then his head. "It's just Sai," he muttered to himself and pressed the button.
After he had identified himself on the gate phone the gate opened, and he walked in. The pathway led through a large and well-tended winter garden, made even more beautiful by the thin layer of snow that covered it. As he climbed up white marble stairs to the main door, he was really beginning to grow nervous about the fancy surroundings, but when the door opened to Sai's smiling face greeting him, he gave a relieved breath.
He grinned. "Hi!" he exclaimed, but then he saw Sai's mother behind the boy's back and remembered the manners his mother had been impressing on his mind, and bowed. "That is… nice to meet you Fujiwara-san. Thanks for the invitation."
"It is my pleasure to meet you, Shindou-kun," she replied. Hikaru straightened his back and took his first good look of her. She was immaculately dressed in dark violet jacket and skirt, a string of pearls round her neck (real thing, Hikaru figured.) Her face is ageless, and Hikaru wouldn't have been able to guess her age if he had had to. Luckily, he didn't, so he turned his attention to Sai.
"So?" he asked with a smile.
"Great to have you here, Shindou," Sai said, and Hikaru blinked at hearing his family name. "Shall we go to my room?"
"Yeah!" Hikaru was glad to escape the unreadable, if smiling, face that was observing him.
"Have fun," Sai's mother said. "Let me know if you boys want to have some snacks."
"Yes, mother," Sai said, and the two boys headed upstairs.
"Wow." Hikaru stopped on his heels as Sai opened the door to his room. His eyes wandered across the room, taking it all in, detail by detail. "Wow." He took a step in and turned slowly around. He was in paradise.
If he would have had to picture Sai's room, this wouldn't have been anywhere close. There were dozens of toys everywhere, everything from remote control cars and planes and model toy monsters to a play console and a TV.
"Are you sure this is your room?" Hikaru asked, but then his eyes fell on a familiar item in a corner – a go board. "Oh, that's better," he went on. "I was wondering if you're somehow, what's the word, schizo or something."
"Actually, schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder are two different things, if that's what you meant," Sai said, and Hikaru gave him a blank look.
"Well, whatever. Where do you sleep?" There was no bed in the room.
Sai opened a door to another room. "Here. That's the playroom."
Hikaru peeked in, and, seeing the bed, twice as big as his, he jumped to sit on it and bounced on it a little. "So, what'd you like to do?"
Sai shrugged, letting in his turn his gaze sweep across the room. "All the same. Whatever you want, I've got all this stuff here for every day. Unless," his eyes stopped on Hikaru, "you'd like to play some go?"
"You got to be kidding!" Hikaru started bouncing again. "You can't have all this cool stuff lying around and want to play go! Hey, can we go out to fly that?" He pointed at a remote helicopter on a top shelf. Sai nodded and climbed on a chair to get it down.
Sai's mother was watching through a window as the two boys headed into the garden with the helicopter. A while they played with it, making it do tricks, seeing how big a load it could carry, and a couple of times needed help to get it back down from a tree. After a while Hikaru tired of it, gave the remote to Sai, and while the other boy was flying the helicopter scraped some snow from the ground to make a snowball that smashed in the middle of Sai's back. The helicopter forgotten, they started a muddy snow war, in the midst of which Hikaru once collided with a rose bush.
In the evening they finally came in, when it was nearly time for Hikaru go home. Both of them had red cheeks and somewhat disordered appearances. "Um, sorry about that rose…" Hikaru muttered as Sai's mother brought them big steaming mugs with hot chocolate and the hugest cookies he'd ever seen. The poor bush really had been somewhat flattened.
"Don't worry about it," she said with a smile. "The important thing is that you two had fun, didn't you?"
"Yes!" Hikaru grinned at her. He'd thought she might be at least a bit mad, but perhaps rich people didn't really care about such things. Surely she'd be able to get a hundred rose bushes to replace that one. He happily munched his cookie and, somewhat reluctantly though as politely as he could, said his goodbyes to Sai and his mother. He wanted to come to this place again.
"It's so nice that you've made a friend like Shindou-kun," Sai's mother said to him once Hikaru was gone. "Do invite him over when ever you want to."
"Yes, mother," Sai said.
"It's good for you to have someone around who'll help you be more active," she went on, picking up their empty mugs. "You are so horribly introverted and… well. A lively boy like him will have a good effect on you."
"Yes, mother," Sai repeated. "I think I'll go to my room now." He picked up the helicopter and headed upstairs. Sometimes his mother just made him want to sigh and roll his eyes, but he pushed that feeling aside. It had been a fun day.
A/N: ...I can't believe I finally posted the first chapter of this. Any comments are warmly appreciated! Please let me know if you prefer shorter chapters.
Silly typos part one: "You are so horribly intransitive." Sai is a verb now? But hey, maybe intransitive verbs are kind of introverted?