Okay, First off, I will not focus on this story solo like I did with SYTFAD. I will work on this and Unstoppable simulataneusly, Unstoppable more so as its just getting good. Secondly, it may seem like it at the start, but this story WILL NOT be as Agnsty as my other ones - not even close. I'm gonna go for more humour and romance here than angst. Thirdly, this is not a complete retelling of Save Your Tears For Another Day; the general concept of Katara choosing Zuko over Aang is the same, but this is a completely different story with a completely different plot. I don't know where I'm taking it completely yet but... its gonna be interesting. The ending will not be anything like SYTFAD, I promise, I'll try to make it more lighthearted and happy than the previous story. Either way, I hope yall enjoy. Leave a review if yall have any questions or suggestions for the story. Thank You.

Chapter 1: The Stages of Grief

I had done it.

It was finally over.

The war was no more.

I did it for all those innocents. I did it for my friends. I did it for my love.

I did it for Katara.

I carried those words with me wherever I went. Being an Air Nomad, I had little to absolutely no sense of pride; though these words didn't resemble pride either, they were merely a declaration. That's all. A simple declaration that brought me relief and satisfaction; relief from knowing that no one would suffer at the hands of a tyrant anymore, and satisfaction from the fact that I was able to save lives and gift my friends, my love, a world without a war.

I thought those words would soon fade into nothingness, that simple declaration slowly vanishing as the small velvet smile of a certain waterbender replaced it – providing me with all the relief, all the satisfaction, and all the love I needed to continue living.

Katara. My Katara.

The flight back to the Fire Nation in the airship was a lengthy one. Even though it only took us about a day and a half, in actuality it felt like an entire week; mostly because we all had just fought the battle of our lives and even after long hours of sleep, we couldn't shake the anxiety regarding Katara and Zuko.

Had they won? What if they got hurt? They were fighting Azula after all. What if something happened? What if Azula did something to Katara? What if she needed me and I wasn't there for her?

Though that play and what followed afterwards had done a number on me, my love for Katara still persevered. I loved her too much to let her go before, and if she was confused, then I was willing to give her the time she needed to decide. In the back of my mind, the doubt lingered, but I didn't allow it to bring me down. I could become a real pessimist whenever I felt low, and right now was not the time to be feeling down. We had just won the war! We defeated the Fire Lord and saved the world! We needed to celebrate, not mope around crying and worrying….

But that's all I could do – in reality.

When the airship landed, Katara and Zuko weren't there. Suddenly, my heart panicked, and I thought the worst, but later the Fire Sages assured me that they were victorious and were just resting. So, I calmed myself and alongside Toph, transported the former Fire Lord to his prison cell. Sokka and Suki were acting strange around me when I returned, even Toph seemed a little down, I thought that something may have been wrong with Katara – when I pressed them though, they said it was nothing. So, naturally confused, I trailed to the room where the Fire Sages had informed me Katara was residing in.

"We should stop him," I heard Suki whisper as I began walking away.

I acted like I couldn't hear them and using my airbending and earthbending, I heightened my senses and listened closely, my back facing them as I continued walking.

"He won't like it, but he needs to know," I heard Sokka mutter as he sighed deeply.

I grew more confused, and just as I turned a corner, now almost out of earshot, I heard Toph whisper, "Won't like it? He'll be devastated…"

Devastated? I chuckled. What would I be devastated about? Wait – is it about Katara? Did something really happen to her? Is she – is she okay? Is she hurt?

My mind began racing again as picked up my pace, just shy of jogging over to Katara's room. I tried to keep the fear and anxiety at bay. I usually was always able to.

'Only because Katara was with you, helping you.'

I can't really argue with that. Katara had basically been my sea during our travels. I know. It sounds stupid, most people say someone was their rock, but Katara – much like her element, was the sea for me. Let me explain; whenever I would dive into uncharted waters and risk drowning myself in despair, she would pull me up and keep me afloat. Whenever I would push too hard, flying off too high into uncertainty, thus risking my wellbeing and sanity, she would tie me down and keep me anchored. Whenever I would become too passive, she would create a tsunami and push me to face my fears and problems. Whenever I was too lost in my grief filled tornado, she would bring about a gentle wave that'd angelically wash away the sadness and the sins. Katara was my Sea, and I was her Sky.

Though, when I arrived at her door and peaked through the small crack, I realised that she didn't want the Sky… she desired the Sun.

Through that small opening, I caught a glimpse of a sight I thought I'd never see, a moment I hoped would never become reality, a vision that had carved its way into my brain and was now forever there – teasing me, tormenting me with the one person that I wanted, but couldn't have.

I saw Katara, sitting on Zuko's lap, in her bindings while he was half naked. He had his arms wrapped around her back, stroking it lightly while she had her arms snaked around his neck. They were lip locked, kissing with such vigour I thought they'd adopted Sokka's appetite and sooner rather than later would eat each other's faces off.

I chuckled. Even in this bizarre moment, I found a way to amuse myself. What does that say about me?

'That when your heart breaks, you try to cover up the pain with goofiness and humour, just so you can at least find some sweetness in the midst of all the bitterness dripping out of your now barely beating organ. '

That's a fair assumption, and probably a correct one. But I've never felt heartbreak before, so how could that be right?

'Well, there's a first time for everything, isn't there.'

I guess. I am the king of first times and breaking records to be honest; the longest any living creature had remained dormant was an ape-bat, and they could only remain dormant for 365 days. I slept through an entire century. Yeah! Take that you flying, hairy rodent… or ape… or whatever you are. But seriously, here's another example. I had actually shown signs of earthbending before I even met Toph; in the Cave of Two Lovers, I used my stupidity and Sokka's awful advice to earthbend my own grave when I unintentionally said 'no' to Katara. I chuckled again, seems like I tend to find joy in my own misery. Wow, that's' another first.

'Well, there you go again; trying to distract yourself from the pain through humour – which by the way, you're not all that great at.'

Okay, someone's feeling particularly hostile today, what crawled up your ass?

'If I'm hostile, you're hostile. I am you, idiot.'

Oh… right.

While having a silent conversation with myself, I had almost forgotten why I had to distract myself in the first place. So, I guess I kinda succeeded.

'Ugh… congratulations?'

Thanks, but I did say I almost forgot. I probably would have if I hadn't caught sight of them sucking face again – Zuko's hands were now unclasping Katara's bindings, and I covered my eyes and ears and walked away, unable to hear anymore soft moans resonating from her mouth.

It's funny; during the play, I thought that if a day like today ever arrived, then I would probably get so angry that I'd blow Zuko out of his own Palace or something. But now that I'm actually experiencing it… I don't know. It hurts, for sure. However, I don't think it has settled in yet. I mean really settled in.

As I trailed outside of the Palace and neared the courtyard where the battle between Azula, Zuko and Katara took place, I saw Mai sitting by the steps idly, and she was… shaking?

What's up with her?

'Really? You have no idea?'

Then I realised: literally the exact same thing is bothering me. Drawing closer to her, I recognised that she was crying. I sat down next to her but didn't say a word. I could tell that she noticed my presence, but she didn't halt her tears. I sat down and watched her, still feeling nothing. Maybe I'm numb to this?

'Just give it a minute airhead, it'll sink in.'

That's it, right there. That's what I was dreading. I had witnessed what to me was the most horrific sight in both human and spirit history. I mean, you could show me a portrait of the Fire Lord shooting flames at a sea of cute, little, baby turtle-ducks and Katara making out with Zuko will still top that…. Actually, maybe that's too far.

'Those turtle ducks are pretty cute.'

Yeh but… so is Katara.

'Right… and she doesn't want you.'

Oh.

I felt a tear stroke my cheek. Fuck… its happening. Before I know it, I can feel my lip quivering, my arms shivering, my chest heaving, my legs shaking, my head spinning, my eyes reddening, my entire body trembling… and in one swift moment, I utter one word that shatters the dam open and lets loose the free-falling tears of despair and heartbreak.

"Katara…."

She didn't want me. She didn't want me. She didn't want me. She didn't want me. She didn't want me.

Well, whatever happened to all those happy endings everyone loves? Where the fuck is my happy ending? Where the fuck is the Air Nomads' happy ending? Do only certain people get happy endings? Who decides? I saved the world… don't I at least deserve to be with the one person whom I love more than the world and myself?

'She doesn't want to be with you though.'

Oh, she doesn't? Who decided? Did you decide for her? What, because I'm shorter than her I don't deserve her? Because I don't look as attractive as Zuko I don't deserve her? Because I'm two years younger than her I don't deserve her? Because he took a lightening shot for her he deserves her more? Ugh… hello! I also took a lightning bolt for her and nearly died, need I remind you about Ba Sing Se?! Who's to decide I can't be with her? What, because I'm not dark and mysterious like Zuko, or tall and charming like Jet, or tan skinned and… whatever the fuck else Haru is! Who's to say that? Who decided I shouldn't be with her? Who's choice was it?

'It was her choice. She chose Zuko. She doesn't want you. Deal with it.'

Oh, she chose? So, you had nothing to do with it? You didn't project your own desires onto her? You didn't change her just to suit your story and have your dream come true?

'Dude, who the fuck are you talking to? I'm you. Why would I want her to be with someone else?'

Well, then why? Why did it have to happen like this? Why am I seen as the toddler throwing a tantrum while everyone else is all cool and likeable? Why do I always have to suffer? He had Mai, even Jin… all I had was Katara. She was all I had. Why did she get taken away from me? Why do I always have to be the one who has to make the sacrifice?

'You're not, look to the person sitting beside you.'

Oh yeah, that's true. She could be shooting daggers and shurikens and who knows what else at Zuko and she'd be completely justified. Zuko explained to me how he had broken up with her before he joined her, he elaborated on how despite all that, she still selflessly saved his life as well as Sokka, Suki, and Katara's father's life, and in turn, she rotted in a cell – why? Because she loved Zuko, and despite the pain she was feeling, she persevered and trusted him. And what did she get in return?

'The exact same thing you got.'

Well, yeah… but that doesn't mean it can't be fixed. Maybe… maybe it was just an 'in the heat of the moment' kind of thing. Maybe… maybe she'll come to her senses and come back to me. Maybe she'll admit it was a mistake and kiss me instead. Maybe –

'Stop it. It was not in the heat of the moment. You know what you saw. They were making out and were thoroughly enjoying themselves. She made her choice. She's not going to come running back to you. She'll still be your friend, but nothing more. Now, you need to stop being a baby, stop being in denial and you need to accept that this happened and move on. She. Doesn't. Want. You. Its as simple as that.'

Well, why?

'I don't know. Maybe because you're not attractive enough, or you're too young or… I really don't know – whatever bullshit the writer chose to feed the readers this time I guess.'

What?

'Just go with it.'

Okay, well if that's the case then… I'll wait. Yes, I'll wait for her. Soon, she'll come to her senses and come back to me… and I'll –

'Push her away.'

What?

'You will not take her back. You hear me?'

But why? All I want is to be with her. Why would I deny myself the love I've craved for over a year when it comes running back to me?

'Because that love is not the same, it can never be the same. It lost its purity the moment she decided to be with Zuko instead.'

That is immensely insensitive of her feelings and completely old fashioned.

'Well, you're a hundred years old – you're old fashioned. This is the way it's going to be.'

Why though?

'Dude, have some fucking self-respect. Not having pride or ego is fine but don't think of yourself as nothing. You are the fucking Avatar. You will have girls jumping at you within days if not in a couple hours. '

Yeah, but that's just it; they'll only want to be with me because I'm the Avatar. They want the fame that comes in association with me. They don't care about Aang.

'I'm sure you'll find a sweet girl who'll love you for you in time. And even if she doesn't, she can grow to. There's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't always have to be love at first sight.'

I guess you're right. But why would any girl who doesn't care about my reputation want to be with me anyway? I'm just a kid. I'm not good looking or charming or handsome –

'Yet.'

Huh?

'You're none of those things yet. I'd say, give it like a year or two, you'll be as tall as Sokka and will grow into a man… then we'll see how these girsl will be able to deny you. Plus, you underestimate yourself; did you not notice how you had all those girls and especially On Ji blushing and chasing after in that dance party? They didn't even know you were the Avatar, they thought you were a random Earth Kingdom kid, and you were still pulling chicks.'

Well, I guess.

'Trust me, you'll be fine.'

I sure hope so.

'Well?'

Well, what?

'How do you feel?'

…

It still hurts.

I don't know when it happened, or how it happened, but while I was having a battle with my internal self, I was apparently sobbing so unbearably that Mai… MAI of all people, had to cradle me in her arms and shush me. Once I calmed down slightly, Mai let go of me, although a bit reluctantly and turned to stare at the night sky. I wiped the tears from my eyes and followed her lead, losing myself into the vast nebula skies as I attempted to wonder a life beyond earth. Maybe out there, there was no such thing as the Avatar, maybe there didn't have to be. Maybe out there, there was no such thing as love, maybe I could escape from this pain up there – even though I adored love, as of that moment, I hated it.

"You feeling as bad as I am?" Came my whisper, raspy from all the crying.

I don't know why I asked her that. Maybe after hours of having a silent conversation in my head I just craved human contact or communication with another living being at the very least – actually, if she's feeling as bad as me, she's barely alive. Maybe I wanted her input because right now, she's the one person in the world who knows exactly how I feel. Maybe I just wanted to hear her voice, to see if it was laced with the same hurt as mine. And sure enough, it was.

"I feel this bad all the time…" She trailed off and I thought I ought to help her out – you know, being the Avatar; public servant and all.

"But…."

She sighed, "But… right now, maybe a little more."

"Maybe?" I prodded, panning my head to glance at her, a small smile tugging my lips for an unusually odd reason.

For the first time in my life, I saw Mai smile – it was a small one, similar to mine, but a smile, nonetheless. And oddly enough, I don't know why, I felt prouder than ever. If I could make Mai smile, then I could take on the whole world – well, I already can take on the whole world… you know, Avatar and all… but still. Ugh, whatever.

"Maybe," she confirmed, staring out into the sky as a single tear escaped her eye.

I don't know for how long I remained there, seated idly, just watching Yue and her fellow companions do their thing. Soon enough, Mai had said she was tired and left, she gave me a brief hug before leaving which was sort of odd, but I guess I'd rather that than have her throwing knives at me to vent her anger as she normally would.

Yo, you still there? Here we go with the internal dialogue again, I guess its tropey, but entertaining, nonetheless. Or at least I hope so.

'I don't know if it's entertaining, but it brings about a new perspective so that's great I guess.'

Oh, you're back.

'I never left.'

'Well, aren't I lucky? Guess I'm not completely alone.'

"No, you're not," came a sweet, angelic voice from behind me. I guess I was talking aloud.

Spirits I've missed that voice though. She could always sooth me or calm me down with her soft hums, or her short giggles. Upon first hearing, I smiled, immediately forgetting the reason as to why I was even out here in the first place. Then I frowned, as my memory recharged and found me again. But then he came back to scold me.

'Hey! I know it hurts, but you have to be happy for her. Just because she doesn't want you doesn't make her a bad person or evil or anything. She had her preferences and she's allowed to have them. You need to be happy for her, she's always been happy for you.'

But it hurts… so much.

'I know… but ask yourself this: what kind of friend would you be if you allowed your own bitterness and sadness to ruin her happiness?'

So, you don't want me to be angry with her? I thought you wanted me to let her go and move on.

'I want you to do better than jealousy. I want you to be mature. I want you to move on – I don't want you to be an asshole.'

Okay.

"Hey, Katara," I softly whispered as I turned back around, smiling at her – which she returned, before I turned back around.

"Sorry, I couldn't get to see you earlier, I was… preoccupied."

Yeah, preoccupied sucking Zuko's face off.

'Hey! Be nice, you can let it all out later.'

"Its alright, I'm glad you're okay." I forced another smile as she sat beside me. Though, she sat a little too close for my liking…. Jeez, I never thought there'd be a day where I'd say that.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, this waterbender, this girl – who not too long ago said she was confused about me, and who not too long ago was sharing saliva with Zuko – suddenly wrapped her arms around me and dug her face into the nape of my neck. Even though I figured the gesture wasn't anything more, it was surprisingly intimate. So, is this a friendly hug or…?

Ugh, girls.

I returned the hug as her hot breath floats above my neck, "I missed you, Aang. I'm glad you're not hurt."

I felt myself shiver out of unusual pleasure, until I had to stop myself from vomiting when I remembered that Zuko had shared that same breath with her not long ago. She sighed into my neck again and I just held her close, not letting her go as she didn't dare let me go.

And surprisingly, for a while, I forgot about it all. The pain. The hurt. The heartache. The tears. The despair. The sadness. In her arms, it all faded away, drifting off into the void as in that moment, I felt nothing but Katara; her arms clutching at my back, her hot breath on my neck, her steady heartbeat, the warmth radiating from her exposed skin pressed against my own exposed skin.

For that short fleeting moment, I recognised how tremendously amazing it felt to be in love.

Until, she pulled away, and I saw that guilty expression, and I remembered…. Love is as delicate and dangerous as a rose; it is beautiful and is cherished, but every once in a while, the thorns will remind you of their presence… and as this delicate flower drew blood from me while she pulled away, I was reminded of just how deep she could cut me.

Devastated – that's what Toph said. I chuckled; devastated doesn't even explain half of how I'm feeling right now.

"Aang I – "

"I know," I decided to save her the trouble… I didn't need to make this any harder than it had to be, not for her nor for me. "I know about you and Zuko, don't ask how, just…" I trailed off, trying to find the right words to say so I don't outright say how broken I am because I didn't want her to feel guilty. She was staring at me, grimacing actually, wincing even. "It's fine. If you're happy with him then… then I'm happy for you. You deserve someone who can bring you joy."

Not long after my statement, Katara's eyes began watering and she tackled me into another hug – I caught a glimpse of a sad smile tugging her lips before she crashed into me, but I thought nothing of it, the hug itself was already drawing out enough blood, I didn't need to focus on more possible spillage.

"Oh Aang… I don't – I don't deserve you…"

What is she trying to –

"You're my best friend," she added.

And there goes my heart again.

"I'm sorry it had to be this way but… you're a great guy, Aang. Any girl would be lucky to have you."

Well, then I guess your life is just full of bad luck… or maybe mine is.

'Hey! Don't be a dickhead.'

I didn't say anything!

'And you better keep it that way.'

Her hot breath tickled my neck as she spoke, thus causing me to shiver yet again – at this point the pain and pleasure of having her close had me so high that I couldn't register which emotion I was feeling most. So, I didn't even try.

"Katara I – I…" I wanted to say, 'I love you'… I wanted to say, 'I cherish you, everything you are – all your flaws, I adore you'… I wanted to say, 'please don't do this to me, I can't predict how I'll react if you leave me and… I don't want to react in a way that'll hurt you'. Spirits, I wanted to say so much more. I wanted – well, it doesn't matter what I want. When have I ever really gotten what I wanted? I know I wasn't raised that way but even I can't control some desires. I wanted to forget that I ever was the Avatar – I can't. I wanted to bring Gyatso back – I couldn't. I wanted to rehabilitate Ozai, so that hopefully he wouldn't have to rot in a cell his entire life – now I see it couldn't be possible. I wanted to prevent any further death and destruction – then the Invasion failed. I wanted… I wanted to hold her in my arms, to cradle her in my love, to whisper sweet words and tell her how much I loved her – but she had chosen someone else to do that to her.

"What is it, Aang. You know you can tell me anything." Katara leaned back and cupped my cheek softly, being oddly intimate despite not loving me back.

"Katara I – "

'Don't do it.'

"I have a q-question I need answered."

'Stop.'

She seemed somewhat concerned and nervous at the same time, but she still comforted me; nodding yes, silently telling me it was okay to continue. I inhaled heavily and held my breath as I spoke, "I don't really know w-why, b-but there's just something I need t-to know. It m-may sound a l-little unfair but I c-can't help it…"

'Shut up. Just stop talking.'

"Aang," Katara shushed my rambling, placing her index finger on my lips as she spoke softly. "You've done so much for me. You've always been honest and transparent with me, the least I could do is return the favour. Ask away, I won't judge, I promise."

'No, Katara don't indulge him.'

Spirits, was she trying to kill me by making me fall in love with her all over again. Or was I still in love? Could it be that her understanding of me and her sweet thoughtfulness was only a gesture of friendship and nothing more? That would explain as to why I was somehow suffering now more so than before.

"I… I", Sighing deeply again, I took a moment to gulp the lump in my throat before I looked into her eyes, "Was there ever a part of you that ever felt anything for me at all?"

'Now you've done it. Don't get your hopes up buddy. '

She took a moment to respond, studying me intently as she stared into my eyes and I her. Oh, how I could get lost in those oceanic depths for eons, I –

"I love you, Aang."

'Wait, what?'

See! I told you! She loves me! She loves me! I told you she would come back to me! I told you it was just an 'in the heat of the moment' kind of thing with Zuko! I told you! Now we can finally be together! We can travel the world, visit Ba Sing Se again, visit Omashu again, go back to the South Pole – Spirits know I want to go penguin sledding with her again, we can –

"But not in the way you want me to."

Oh. Fuck. There goes my heart again, what is that… the third time?

'Yep, I'm sorry dude.'

"I love you like a friend, I care about you a lot… Aang, you're my best friend and I… I don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose you." She held my hand in hers as she spoke softly, her eyes staring into my soul with nothing but kindness and genuine love, "I hope this doesn't change things between us."

'Don't fuck this up, airhead. Be happy for her. Tell her you won't fuck things up like you did at the play.'

"Of course, Katara. I'll always be your friend."

I offered her a small smile which I hoped was convincing enough. Fortunately, she couldn't see past my lies, if she could, then she was just ignoring it – I highly doubt it though.

Smiling back at me, Katara glanced to the side, eyeing the doors that led to our bedrooms as she asked, "It's getting late," she turned back to face me now. "Are you going to turn in for the night."

"You go," I replied softly, "I think I'll stay out here for a while longer."

Smiling once more, Katara squeezed my hand before she stood up and walked back up the stairs. I don't know if she ever turned back around to glance at me, I hope she did – though it didn't matter, because I never turned back around to see her. I couldn't. Seeing her leave, it would only bring me to tears again, and I felt like I had already shed enough tears for one night. I know it wasn't that deep; she was literally going back to her bedroom to sleep.

'But it's still more than that though, isn't it?'

Yes. It was the notion that hurt me. The notion that she was leaving me, out here… alone, even though she had asked me to turn in as well – it still hurt. The notion that she was leaving, heading towards the bedrooms, either hers or Zuko's, who knows, maybe Zuko would be waiting for her in either room – it didn't matter, because either way, it still hurt.

'So, that's why you didn't look back?'

Yes. If I could have one thing in this world – if not Katara – then it would be the notion that she did in fact turn back around. That she did care enough to doubt herself for a second. That she did care about me enough to question if this was what she really wanted. That maybe what I had said to her, maybe… just maybe, it struck her enough for her to glance back, for her to consider, if even for a single second, that maybe… just maybe, she might actually love me back. As more than a friend.

'But if you turned around, then that idea could have been destroyed, so you didn't.'

Yes. If I had glanced back, and she hadn't, then…. Well, I don't know what would've happened to me.

'Its fine. You did right by her.'

I trust her, if she trusts Zuko with her happiness, then so do I. But what will I do now?

'Well, you've shed enough tears for tonight, but if you want… you could get it all out the way tonight. Let go of it all, pour everything out.'

It won't make a difference, this… this feeling, this pain – it may never just simply disappear.

'Then you have to save your tears for another day.'

No. I can't do that either. I – I don't want to. I already hold on to so much grief, I can't hold onto the pieces of my broken heart in moisture of my eyes forever.

'Then, you know what to do.'

Katara, I will do everything in my power to let you go, to move on so you can be happy with Zuko… I'll do whatever I have to… I'll leave you alone to be with him, I'll kill all my dreams, I'll rip out my heart….

Until I bleed you out.