Working with ice and reindeer all of his life gave Kirstoff... interesting feelings.
You see doing nothing but shit with ice Kristoff got really horny really fast. He would fuck ice, but his dick always got cut by the hard edges. He couldn't fuck any of the men because they were all too busy and due to his worship of Chris Hansen he knew that those kinds of relationships never ended well. So after the sixty ninth time his penis got cut by the ice he decided he needed to fuck something else.
"Ughhhhhh, what am I gonna fuck?" Kristoff moaned (in more of a complainy way than a sexual way).
"You can just fuck that reindeer you have. S'ven, right?"
Kristoff turned around and saw Anna, a slutty look in her eyes.
"Anna, how can you see such things? I mean, we're married!" exclaimed Kristoff.
Anna rolled her eyes, annoyed at how naive Kristoff was acting.
"I come from royalty, we do weird sex stuff all the time. Even Olaf has his own sex dungeon. For god's sake stop being such a pussy and embrace your wild style already! You think I liked Hans because he was a nice guy? Bullshit! I liked him because he makes dildos. I was gonna marry him so I could pleasure myself every single day. So stop being such a bitch and fuck S'ven" said Anna.
Kristoff backed away in horror, unable to process what Anna was saying. Yes, S'ven was his best buddy, but he didn't want to destroy that friendship by making the noble creature his fuck buddy. Kristoff just stood there as Anna looked at him with a bitchy expression.
"WELL? Are you going to fuck him or not?" asked Anna, fury in her voice.
Kristoff sighed but stood his ground.
"No. He's my best friend and I don't want to ruin that with meaningless sex. I appreciate you trying to give my advice for my... more personal matters but I'm still going to have to pass. Thank you for your time and tell Olaf I'd love to go to his sex dungeon at some point" said Kristoff.
Kristoff smiled, pleased with how he had handled the situation. Anna however, began laughing.
"God, you're such a little bitch. 'I don't want that with meaningless sex'" Anna said in a mocking voice before laughing. "Sex makes the world go round, ok. This entire nation was built on fucking. Its not my fault you're too much of a pussy to realize the joys of an orgasm. Bet you're still a virgin anyways."
Kristoff looked heartbroken.
"Fuck you Anna"
"Fuck you Anna" Anna said in a mocking voice.
Kristoff crossed his arms in anger as Anna got an idea, now having an evil smirk.
"You know what, I might fuck S'ven myself" said Anna.
Kristoff's eyes widened in horror as Anna continued.
"Yeah, since you're a spineless cunt I'll give S'ven the fucking he deserves. After all, I've always been the best in bed" said Anna.
Kristoff couldn't handle it anymore, anger coursing through his veins. Kristoff left, Anna's voice taunting him.
"Go ahead, run. You're only proving my point."
Kristoff came back, holding an ice pick and slowly walking towards Anna.
"Ooh, what is the big boy gonna..."
Before Anna could finish Kristoff plunged the ice pick into Anna's heart. Anna began coughing blood as Kristoff looked at her, a sadistic smile on his face.
"That's what you get for trying to fuck my reindeer bitch" said Kristoff.
As Anna began to lose consciousness she looked up at Kristoff and smiled.
"Wow. You really did... have it in you. I'm proud" Anna said wearily.
Letting out one last breath Anna's eyes rolled in to the back of her head and her body stood completely still. Kristoff let go of the ice pick and walked around, chuckling. As he went deeper into the woods he began laughing even louder. Soon he was laughing like a madman, causing the animals to notice the man's danger and flee in horror. Kristoff noticed this and began laughing even more, almost causing the ground itself to shake. Wiping a tear from his face Kristoff just stood there.
Meanwhile Elsa was relaxing in her palace when something familiar burst in: S'ven. Elsa jumped up.
"S'ven, what are you..."
"There's not much time. Kristoff has gone insane and killed your sister. I must defeat him, but to do so requires a sacrifice."
Elsa just sat there.
"Wait you can talk? Where were you during all my meetings? I could have seriously used your help during meetings with foreign embassies. Being a queen is hard you know" said Elsa.
"Yes, I can talk, for I am no ordinary reindeer. I am not even S'ven. I am..."
S'ven's antlers suddenly became long black horns.
"...S'vatan."
Elsa stood there, not sure of what to say. Before she could say anything S'vatan began chanting. Suddenly Elsa began walking, no longer in control of her body. Elsa walked until she reached a dagger. Pulling it up she immediately slit her own throat. Her corpse soon fell on the floor, power filling S'vatan.
"YES!" screamed S'vatan.
Back in the woods Kristoff was jerking off, upsetting the serious tone of this story.
"HNGHHHH" screamed Kristoff.
Suddenly a sense of dread washing over him. Looking up Kristoff was horrified but felt a raging boner in his pants.
"Oh. My. God" said Kristoff.
Standing in front of him was S'vatan.
S'vatan began chanting, confusing Kristoff. Suddenly, he felt like he had eaten at Taco Bell. He tried to hold back his queasiness but soon found himself vomiting more than he had ever vomited before. However this vomit was red. Blood red.
"Oh god what the fuck?"
However after saying this Kristoff immediately went back to vomiting blood, throwing up giant red chunks. After it had finished Kristoff stood back up, happy to have it over with. But this was far from the end.
Kristoff felt a burning sensation and looked at his hand. Slowly the flesh began to peel off, leaving nothing but bone. Kristoff screamed but the ripping of flesh continued through his entire body, starting with his special private are.
"NOT MY DICK!" screamed Kristoff.
Kristoff began crying, traumatized by the loss of his bestest friend. The crying did not last long as the melting continued. As nothing but his head remained covered in flesh Kristoff screamed. His eyes rolled into his head as he was nothing but a skeleton, his corpse falling on the ground.
Seeing the bloodshed before him, S'vatan laughed.
"THE TIME OF MAN IS OVER! THE TIME OF DARKNESS IS NIGH! MY REIGN WILL BEGIN!"
S'vatan let out a chilling laugh, that was interrupted by a poke from behind him.
S'vatan turned around and growled, ready to rip apart whatever had interrupted him. However his anger deflated as he saw Olaf, who was wearing a gimp suit.
"Hey want to come to my sex dungeon and fuck?" asked Olaf.
S'vatan let out a warm smile.
"You're goddamn right" said S'vatan, who sounded exactly like Walter White.
The two walked away, ready for the fucking to begin.