TW: Major Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence.
"Ka-Kacchan… It's cold… "
Katsuki barely heard Izuku's whimper, his ears ringing with the weight of his previous blast. But with their blood pouring onto the floor and legs pinned by debris, he knew that Izuku's voice would've still been quiet.
"Deku," said Katsuki, eyes closed. He was afraid to open them. He knew that if he did, he'd face the reality of his situation - that he and Deku were about to die.
"Kacchan, look at me." Katsuki didn't know how to reply. Each breath felt like it took hours, each inhale met with a need for more oxygen. But his lungs wouldn't comply.
"The others are an hour away," said Izuku, shivering. "We don't have time." No time to live, thought Katsuki.
"You talk too much... for someone who's dying."
"I want… I want our death to be on our own terms." And at this, Katsuki opened his eyes. It was only in this moment, out of their two decades of knowing each other, did he learn to really acknowledge his childhood friend, in a light that he had never seen before. Izuku's eyes were glassy but oddly focused - the green was a striking contrast to the fire around them. And the stupid nerd - he was smiling. With the stupid shit-eating grin and his stupid little freckles and his stupid green eyes. Fuck him.
And if the nerd could get any more dumber, he smiled even wider, and the tears were streaming down his face now. His shaky voice, his broken, battered, brittle voice tore at Katsuki's heart. "I don't want our deaths to be the fault of a villain."
"Like hell it will."
"I knew you'd be like this," said Deku, sighing. "But they're looking for us. I wouldn't suggest dying if it weren't our only option." And really, as much as he hated to admit it, Katsuki knew that he was being irrational, too. They both had minutes to live, at best.
And with this, Katsuki couldn't look at Deku's eyes any longer. He willed every muscle in his body to turn away from the nerd. But at the same time, he wanted to pull Deku closer. Wanted to tell him he was a dumbass. Wanted to seek comfort in the hands of the last person he would ever see. Knowing that he was going to die did strange things to his brain. It made him oddly sentimental.
Katsuki didn't think the whole "the eyes are the window to the soul" thing had much merit. But the reality was, that when he looked into Deku's eyes, he realized all the pain, the happiness, the tears the nerd carried around him, they were put on a display case. It was this vulnerability that made Katsuki afraid. Afraid of what Deku would see when he saw Katsuki's eyes. His regrets. His unspoken apologies. But he gave into it. Gave into the feeling of being unguarded, because he knew that as annoying as Deku was, he could trust him with his life. It's not like he had anything to hide in his state, either.
And though Katsuki wasn't one for physical affection, he wanted to feel someone, just once more. He reached over with his hand trembling, and stroked Izuku's hair. He leaned into the touch, still having trouble breathing.
"Kacchan?" Said Deku. Katsuki grunted to let the nerd know that he heard, even though the ringing in his ears was getting annoying.
"Remember, back when we were kids? Things used to be so simple back then."
"I was a stupid kid, Deku."
"You were stupid, Kacchan? I was the one breaking my bones every week. You were always so skilled. I wanted to be like you so bad."
"Before that. Before you got your quirk." Though it was unsaid, the two of them knew what Katsuki was referring to. The years of Katsuki bullying Izuku, withering him down and beating him up until he stumbled home with blood on his face. Katsuki couldn't regret those years more. He was stupid. So stupid for not seeing the gentle smile in front of him. The kind-heartedness and patience of someone so heartfelt. The halo that glowed around him.
Maybe, in another life, they could have been friends. They could have late-night sleepovers and fall asleep together watching All Might movies. Maybe they could've been something more. But Katsuki could never take back what he did to Izuku. But alas, in another life...
Izuku seemed to have the same train of thought. "Do you think we could've been... something else?"
Katsuki paused, choosing his words carefully. "In another time… maybe things would have been different. We could've been friends from the start. I could've appreciated you and your nerdy self and I wouldn't be such an asshole."
Izuku nodded slowly.
"What I'm trying to say, nerd… is that I have regrets. 'Sorry' isn't enough to make up for what I did to you. I won't ask for forgiveness. It's not something I deserve, or something you owe me. But I'll tell you this, you asshole. You mean… something to me now. My younger self didn't realize it, but I should've been more grateful when I had the chance."
"I never knew you could be so sentimental, Kacchan."
"I'm only saying this because we're about to die. Cut me some slack, you jerk."
They fell into comfortable silence, their labored breaths falling into sync with one another. Though neither of them said it out loud, they both knew what they had left unsaid. It took years, decades before Katsuki realized how much the nerd meant to him. It wasn't easy for him to make this realization. It wasn't easy to define their relationship at this point. Was it a friendship? A competitive rivalry? Were they just simple acquaintances? Katsuki couldn't put a label to it. This was something, something complicated. He knew he didn't like Izuku, not in a romantic sense. But he also knew that if things had been different - like he said - if they had been friends from the start, if he hadn't bullied and punched Deku in the past, he wouldn't mind seeing Izuku's freckled smile every morning. Izuku's habit of waving his hands around while flustered, it was something that used to annoy Katsuki, but now, he found it comforting. It was a constant that had always been with him since childhood, something that reminded Katsuki of home, of a nostalgic feeling he couldn't quite place.
Smoke billowed throughout the wreckage, the scent of burnt caramel clinging to the walls. The smell of burning rubber made Katsuki wrinkle his nose, but once he glanced at Deku, he let the acrid feeling wash over him. Izuku's smile provided him comfort, the same sense of nostalgia warming his core.
Katsuki's voice was a hoarse rasp. "C'mere, nerd," he said, pulling him closer with his hand.
"Kacchan, you know my legs are pinned-"
Growling in frustration, Katsuki put all of his strength into leaning towards Deku. They weren't too far apart, but Katsuki still wanted to feel even closer, closer to the person who smiled at him, who cheered him on even though he was a fucking jerk.
And to Izuku's surprise, Katsuki leaned forward and planted a kiss on his forehead, a warm feeling engulfing him. They held their foreheads together, their noses brushing each other as they both breathed a gentle sigh.
And in Katsuki's weakened state, he held his palm up to the sky, hands crackling, his silent tears dripping onto Izuku's face.
"I'll see you again soon, Deku."
As Katsuki let the explosion loose, the beautiful inferno engulfed the two of them, rubble raining down. No one inside the explosion would've survived.
They had always been a part of each other's lives, maybe more than they would've liked. If things were different, if Katsuki hadn't made so many mistakes…
...Perhaps, he wouldn't have so many regrets.
AN: And that's a wrap! I know Bakugou seems OOC, but I like to think that people will be much more sentimental when they know they're about to die. Plus, Bakugou's a lot older now, so he's definitely matured since the series. (aka my pathetic excuse to not rewrite this fic because I'm lazy lol)
Please, please let me know if I missed any warnings, especially any that might contain triggers. I'm not sure if I should up the T rating, so please let me know if you think it needs to be changed. As always, concrit, favs and comments are always welcome. Thank you for reading!