That One Night
CPOV: (Carlisle's Point Of View)
"Who is she?!" Esme came into the bathroom, following me as I got ready for work. Watching me use the hairspray and my dancing fingers to give my hair a wet and slicked back look.
"She's an old friend." I pause to take a step back from the mirror, adjusting small parts of my hair until satisfied. "Besides, why do you care?" I asked, looking at her through the mirror while slapping on a little after shave, mainly for the smell since I had no facial hair to get rid of.
"You kept her a secret from me!" She continued. Her voice was harsh, and her gaze was fueled with anger.
"I didn't keep her a secret from you, I just didn't tell you, you never asked." I let out a huff of air in amusement, thinking how ridiculous it is that she hasn't asked about my past, I was always the one sharing about myself with or without questions. But with her, no matter what, I was the one to ask and then I would receive information, but on her terms.
"Well you should've told me anyways, especially since she was before me, and from what I'm guessing she was your first. And how could you not tell me about her, look at her." She sounded somewhat hurt, but that was quickly covered up with her sick confidence trying to make me feel like the bad guy. She held my phone to my face when I turned to her after fastening the last button of my white, long sleeve van heusen shirt. I wanted to look away from the picture but I couldn't. The brightness was up on the screen, helping to draw over my attention, and she was beautiful, with gorgeous brown hair holding natural highlights that were easiest to see in the sunlight. Or a well, candlelit room.
I only take a moment to look so Esme wouldn't complain if I leered too long. "She wasn't my first, she was the first to understand and accept me."
"Well, I accept you." She said just after rolling her eyes then proceeding to follow me down the hardwood stairs. Rosalie and Renesmee sat on the couch, Rosalie held Renesmee's soft brown hair in her pale hands, braiding it gently. I noticed her golden eyes slip into a gentle amber, showing her slight worry. Ness was about sixteen or so now, or appeared as such, I couldn't help but wonder what was running through her young mind.
"Now, is it that you accept me or are you just putting up with me? I don't have a one way entry into your mind Esme, and this conversation is a bit late don't you think? She'll be here any day, maybe any minute. Do you really want her hearing, or seeing you upset to be the first impression you make on her?" I pause, not to take a breath, but to think through my next sentence before spewing out my frustration. "Besides, she hasn't done anything to you. And the last time I saw her was nearly a century ago." I couldn't help but be upset with her. At least whenever I was with her I knew she accepted me. I didn't turn her so I didn't have to worry about her hating me for ending her mortal life. And she never judged me. Never hurt me. Never raised her voice to me.
"Carlisle you know I accept you." She spoke softly now, placing a hand on my left shoulder which I gently pulled away from to turn and look at her.
"No, I don't know that, I really don't. And even if Edward told me that, "yes you do", how could I believe him? He would say whatever as long as it meant that things could possibly get better between us."
"I don't want you to leave for work being upset with me." Her voice dropped a little, understanding my point.
"Maybe it'll be better when I get home, but nothing's gonna change the mood we're in." I walked into the kitchen, pulling out a rocks glass and a bottle filled with a brown liquid, pouring some into the glass, just enough to cover the bottom. I quickly take it, touching the cup to my lips and downing the drink, missing the way it used to make everything feel numb. Unfortunately such a substance had no affect. When I sat the receptacle down, it made a gentle tap, startling Esme slightly.
"Are you coming home tonight?" She questioned, her voice filled with concern. I couldn't help but sigh, I truly didn't know if I was coming home, but I knew that I should, in case she arrives. We can act like a normal family for a few days, right? It shouldn't be that hard.
"That's the plan." I answer, matter of factly. Eventually, heading to the door, but once again Esme's footsteps followed in pursuit, stopping me when I got to the entrance.
"I love you." She seemed to force out and I could feel Rose's eyes watching us.
"Yeah." My voice came out nearly emotionless, I felt tired of speaking to her. I pulled open the front door and began to step out but her hand stopped me, grasping around the upper half of my right forearm.
"Please say it back." I could hear the pain in her voice, and the small amount of imploring that spilled out.
"Love you too." I spit out after a moment while pulling my arm out of her hold and heading to my car.
I know it was wrong to be upset with her, but in a way it was also wrong for her to be upset with me. I've given her no reason to hate me or question my love for her, I've stayed with her for what seems like forever, and never once have I cheated, never once have I lied to her, unless it was to keep her safe. I have been a faithful and loyal servant to her since the day I met her, and even more so after I had turned her. I felt offended, and hurt, that she would lose all faith in me, over a girl that I haven't seen in so long. It angered me that she would think so little of me.
Getting in my car I realized that I had forgotten my phone with her. I rolled my eyes at myself and my own stupidity. I got so caught up in arguing it slipped my mind. Edward, do you mind bringing my phone to me? I tried to ask telepathically, hoping that he would help me out. And sure enough there he was, at the driver side of my car only seconds after my thought.
"Carlisle, don't do anything stupid." He looked at me as if he knew something that I didn't, which could be possible since he is the only one that has a one way route into Alice's visions. I rolled my eyes and held back from gripping the steering wheel too hard, I didn't want to have to get a new one, again. I'll be fine. Even my thoughts came out aggressive. I reached for my black, Iphone eleven, taking it out of his hands and giving him a "see you later" nod before drove off. Proceeding to the hospital, when there I just sit with the car on, the heater blowing warmth onto my cold face. It tried its hardest to please me, but you can't comfort the dead with a simple temperature change.
Gently laying my head on the top of my steering wheel, I let out a sigh. Why did she have to text? How did she get my number, how did she find me? These questions kept bugging me, I was worried to start thinking about her again. But, of course, this mind of mine had to keep active, it's like my thoughts didn't know how to take a break.
Something about her made me feel safe anytime we were near each other. Her scent was intoxicating, and the way she spoke was like milk and honey, so smooth, so soft, and filled with care. I remember the night we met, it was around the time I lived with Aro in Volterra, Italy. The castle was just as it is today, old and weathered. Cracks throughout it. And cold. The only difference was there was no elevator and no phones. I was at Aro's side when we greeted her at the door. She looked so young, perhaps seventeen or sixteen at least, I remember Aro turning to look at me and then back to her, perhaps contemplating if she would be considered an immortal child. I knew he had an attraction for her immediately, as did I.
Unlike us, being pale and having eyes that carried the blood of her victims, she appeared human, her cheeks slightly flushed due to the autum air, her eyes a dark amber when she was in the shadows. She did not speak though, didn't say, "Hello" or "Thank you" to us for letting her in. The only things that seemed to speak were her eyes. Once inside the gothic place I could see her mind begin to wander. Taking in the scenery, looking over Aro and I, looking to Marcus and then Caius.
I remember walking behind her to the great hall, in which Aro would play his magic trick in getting to know her. I remember whispering to her, "You'll be okay." And it was possibly just my wishful thinking but she seemed to relax a little. The tense muscles in her arms released, letting her shoulders drop somewhat. After entering the large room, Aro turned immediately to face her, he stood about a foot away, waiting for her to take a step back or two, showing her fear. But she did nothing of the sort. She stood there, confidently and shot back a look that gave everyone chills. After a moment of stillness, Aro reached for her hand and instead of jerking away as most creatures did, she held out her hand the same way she held her gaze, it was the first time that I saw Aro look away from one's eyes, of course he didn't look away for long, for once his hand came in contact with her skin, their eyes locked, and a sinister smile grew onto her face the moment his disappeared. Pulling away from her grasp, he turned around and began to make his way to his throne.
"Find her a room to stay in." His words came out quick, as though he was running out of time.
"Aro, there are no other spaces for her, the few rooms we have are for our other guests who are out at the mome-" Marcus began to speak out, his voice dead and dry and soon to be cut off.
"I do not care if the rooms are taken up, find her a place to stay, even if she must stay with another." Aro's voice continued at a faster pace than usual. Whatever he learned about her, or whatever it was that she showed him, it either frightened him or gained his respect, possibly both. But then it was Caius' turn to speak, it seemed as though every word that came out of his mouth was backed up with pure hate for everyone, he loved to argue, question, and mock anyone who dared to make a sound in his presence.
"Well I refuse to have a half bred mongrel sleep in my chambers, Carlisle can take this burden off of our hands." Everything this monster did, disgusted me, almost more than the actions of Aro, he had no respect for anyone, he was like a chihuahua with the mind of a pit bull.
I finally spoke after realizing my face was revealing my unimpressed thoughts, "I have no quarrel with that proposal, let me be of a humble host to our new arrival. Anything she may require, I will be sure to tend to."
"It is settled then, this dark beauty will stay with you until she is ready to be on her way or until another room is opened up." Aro's voice held some kind of relief, as though what I said put him at ease. Just before I turned to leave the room I caught Aro shoot Caius a look of fury.
I bring myself out of the dragging memory to finally make the decision of whether I was planning to get out of the car and head into the sick ward or not. After contemplating for what played like a millisecond I had decided against working. Looking behind me as I backed up out of my marked parking spot, I already had a place in mind. Pulling forward out of the strange parking lot and onto the freeway, I started towards the city park, I wanted to give myself time to reminisce, and remember. The park was about four minutes away from the Forks Community Hospital, if going the speed limit. Arriving and looking up at the green sign that seemed to light up with the reflection of my headlights, it read, Calawah River Park. Parking once again, and opening the black door of my Mercedes, I started to get out when I heard a familiar voice calling my name.
"Carlisle…" I could hear the gentle exhale of breath following after she spoke. I could feel some sort of fear set in, but once I turned and saw her, so many other emotions crashed into me.
I felt as though I could not catch my breath, it seemed that no matter how much air I attempted to breathe in, it was not enough to gather myself.
"Emilia." When I spoke I sounded older. Even my voice remembered her. Reverting back to my soft British accent, the way I spoke to her when we first met. She was still as gorgeous as the first night I met her, even more so now. Instead of looking like the young innocent seventeen year old girl from before, she looked closer to twenty-four. And her scent was still so compelling, as it was over one hundred years ago.
"It's been a while." After she spoke, her pearly whites found a momentary spot on the left corner of her lower lip that was filled with a deep blood red. The sudden rush of returning feelings and emotions made me feel dizzy and extremely nervous.
"It has been, hasn't it? How have you been?" I question trying to normalize both my voice and her being here.
"I've been better. About a month or so ago, I came here to Washington and I heard a few people mentioning your name. It made me think about you, amongst other things," she pauses briefly, her lips jumping into a quick smile, "and it got me wanting to check in on you. I hope that's okay." During her last sentence she sounded a bit worried.
"Yes that should be completely fine, I'm not sure how the others will react to a new guest, but everything should be fine." I went over my sentence after speaking and realized that I sounded a little repetitive.
"Oh, yeah, um," her voice seemed to drop a small amount of the confidence that it held in the beginning. "I heard that you had a family, or adopted some kids, something along those lines." I could hear her trying to hide the disappointment that she felt, but she was never too good at hiding her emotions when she was around me. It was strange, whenever she was around anyone else, she was closed tight like a vault. I guess somehow I had the code.
"Yes." I give a smile, thinking of the family I put together. "We have about eight or so I believe, Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Bella, Rosalie, Alice, Renesmee," I began to count them out using my fingers, "and my Esme." I felt my heart drop into my stomach after realising I had said My Esme, for some indescribable reason I felt terrible for saying it, I never felt embarrassed before, after all she is my wife, what do I have to feel anxious for?
"Um, uh," I could hear the pain I caused her. "You have a wife? I mean," she shakes her head, almost like she was trying to backspace on the words that left her mouth. "That's great!" It hurt me to see her forcing a smile. "I'm shocked you don't have thirty." She lets out a soft laugh, trying to smooth over the wound with humor. "Are you sure you want me there, she may not like me." I remember her telling me she was an overthinker and that it got worse or could get worse if she grows feelings for people.
"You should be fine." I try to put her at ease. "She'll love you." After all, everyone does. I wanted to add, but I didn't want to throw more fuel to the fire that she had built for me.
"Okay." She flashes me a tight lipped smile before continuing. "So when will we head to your place, or do you want me to walk? What's the plan?"
"I can take you now, if you'd like. Unless you're hungry or want to look around town." I could feel the butterflies moving around in my stomach again. I guess I felt a little worse because I know Esme won't like her, no matter how perfect she is, most women don't like her. Their bitterness usually comes from being territorial or jealous. Emilia appeared young, she was petite, thin, and her features were not overdone or underdone, in a way, for most men at least, she was perfect. And she was.
"We can just go to your place, I can go exploring later." Her mood seemed to be heightened, she sounded hopeful.
Getting in the car, me in the driver side as usual and her in the passenger seat for the first time, hopefully not last, I could feel her eyes stopping on me anytime she went to look around, but any time I spoke, pointing out the different stores and their names and what they carry, she tried her hardest to divert her eyes from mine. Unfortunately this was one of the few times that I couldn't understand what mood she was in or the aura that she was radiating. All I felt from her was unfamiliarity. Maybe it was due to us not seeing, speaking or bothering with each other for so long. I hadn't thought of what made us part since the night we parted.
"Carlisle, I don't want to be owned." She nearly shouted. I could see her trying to keep her voice calm so that not everyone in the old tower could hear us, though her actions helped not, it felt as though the large, dust covered, cement bricks were listening to us as well.
"I'm not saying anything about ownership, I'm only asking if you would like to stay with me, experience things with me, be mine, but out of your own free will, Emilia…" I let out a breath. Her back was to me while she hastily made her way around the small room that smelled of old book pages and her sweet scent, mixtures of pomegranate, peach and apple flying by me in small breezes.
"Carlisle, don't say what I think you're about to say, okay? And I don't want to be tied down, I'm not meant to belong to anyone. I'm like a feather." I knew she was right. This sudden change seemed to blow her away from me, and the more I spoke, the further she got.
"Emilia, I love you, and I don't want to let you go. Stop pulling away from me. How many more people will you go through before you stop and realise that it's you pushing them away?" I speak trying to help her understand what she was doing, and what will most likely keep happening.
"Carlisle--" she began to speak but I knew what she was doing.
"Stop doing this to yourself." I stopped in front of her with one step, I knew if I didn't stop her from moving around, I wouldn't be able to get through to her. "Stop pushing everyone away." I pause, placing my left hand on her right cheek, pulling her face gently to look at me, but those eyes couldn't meet mine. "Stay with me." I lower my voice slightly. And finally her eyes caught mine and our sights were locked. "I know you love me too. I know you're scared of being hurt, I know you're scared of me hurting you, but I won't. I promise."
"You can't promise that. No one can promise something like that." The problem with being a half breed was that side of her that was human. The side that allowed her eyes to fill with tears, that allowed her face to redden slightly, and allowed her lips to drop. "Carlisle, I can't love you. And you don't love me, and you aren't the first, and you won't be the last. But I know how you people are. You grow tired of everyone, as does any other human."
"Emilia, I'm not human, I would never grow tire--"
"The point is you were human and you, more than any other stupid creature, seem to have held onto your humanity with an iron grip. You'll leave me faster than anyone."
"No I won't, stop building walls, come on, please, I don't want to lose you." I could hear the begging in my voice. I used my icy thumb to softly wipe away a tear that began to stream down her heated, pink cheeks. Her eyes left mine as well as the rest of her, pushing me away from her. She quickly made sure that all of her essentials were packed. But while doing so the room fell silent. I felt on edge, not knowing what we were now. "So what happens from here--"
"I wish I had never met you." I could hear her trying to calm herself down. Her breath shook, I could feel her trying too hard to stay strong and stop herself from breaking down.
Turning to me with tears flooding her eyes, I could see her fighting the urge to blink, I guess hoping that as long as the water droplets kept from hitting the hard wooded, blood stained and scuffed floor, maybe this wouldn't hurt as much.
"This is goodbye Mr.Cullen." I could feel my heart drop to its knees and what felt like a singular heartbeat start, ended instantaneously. My breathing came in quick gasps and quick exits. I tried to keep my eyes open, but the pain was almost too much to bear. I closed my eyes momentarily, but in those few seconds, I felt her soft pink, hot lips leave a kiss on my cheek and a small amount of wetness was left by a singular tear and the moisture from her lips. I could feel her trying to savor the moment. I listened to every movement, and the sounds that her body made. I could hear her saliva glands working overtime, I could only imagine that her mouth couldn't stop getting watery, almost as though her whole body was crying. I could hear the sound of her heart tightening then releasing, her lungs fighting for air, and the gentle pulse given by her temples indicating that her head was aching. And her breathing was the same as mine now, coming in quick, quiet breaths. The last thing I can remember was the soft breeze I felt when she left and me finally opening my eyes, only to watch her perfect locks leaving around the corner of the door and down the hall, out of sight. The last of her scent that she left behind was much duller, but it was there nonetheless, the smallest hints of vanilla, rum, marshmallow and oak.
Finally, we made it to my home. I hadn't even noticed that her warm, delicate, left hand was placed on my pale right that sat on the matching thigh of my black slacks. When parked, I looked from her hand then to her amber eyes that were a shade lighter than before and a deep fiery red seemed to seep out from the edges of her irises. And there it was again. A faint heartbeat that escaped my body. But stopped.
"I'm sorry." Came her soft, sweet voice, causing me to let out a breath, full of anxiety and uncertainty. I opened my mouth to speak but was stopped by Emmett knocking roughly on the driver side door, which startled both, Emilia and I. Her hand was gone but I felt like I was somewhat whole again. As long as she was here… I felt safe.