First Week of the Year, More Field Trips, Chairs, and Newspapers

by BradenAndEggs

High school hasn't been easy for Ned Bigby. Can Ned overcome teenage cynicism and return some zaniness to his school life?

Field Trips, Permission Slips, Signs & Weasels

"So maybe we should go out? You know. Boyfriend-girlfriend? More than friends?"

I was putting as much effort as I could into sounding natural. I couldn't believe this was happening. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be. The last few weeks of middle school I haven't known how to act around my best friend anymore. Too many confusing thoughts.

It was feeling easy again. Like this is what we should have been doing the whole time.

I walked over to her and she took my hand as I was talking. The rose garden gazebo outside the art gallery was the perfect place for us. Romantic, in an end of 'field trip full of chaos' kind of way.

"Holding hands, talking all night, heart-shaped candies on Valentine's Day?"

Moze's giant brown eyes were… I've definitely noticed before, but they were distracting right now. I almost wasn't paying attention to her reply.

"I'm ready if you are," I said as cool as I could make my voice sound.

I hoped it worked.

This was happening. On the end of the school year field trip of all moments.

"Bring it on."

She sounded cooler than I did as she pulled me closer. I looked up a little and kissed her.

We looked at each other and spoke at the same time.

"Best field trip ever."

X X X

Early Fall 2008

First Week of the Year, More Field Trips, Chairs, & Newspapers

Worst field trip ever.

I must have done worse in last year's science class than I thought. This class had to be remedial if sending us to a sewage plant was the best way to teach us about the 'water cycle.'

Cookie wasn't listening to me as I complained to him outside his locker. He was busy trying to make sure he had the best envelope/gift bag combination for his girlfriend Lisa Zemo's birthday gift.

"Where is your class going?" I asked him as he put a pink bow on the envelope in an unnecessarily animated way.

Cookie was in his world of girlfriend-impressing gift prep. None of my questions over the last five minutes had triggered a response. When he got like this I needed to speak louder. Startle him out of his trance.

His constant distraction during conversation has been happening more and more without Moz… Jennifer here to help him focus.

"Cookie! Simon Nelson Cook!"

Some of the students in the hallway looked over at our very small commotion. I think I saw Claire Sawyer and Albert Wormenheimer give us an annoyed look from a few lockers down. I wasn't THAT loud. Turn back around and get off of your judgemental high horses.

Cookie made a big deal of jumping in shock but turned his attention to me after my louder than usual exclamation. He's gotten less uh… 'cartoonish' since middle school but his day-to-day demeanor was still like he's in a children's TV show 24/7.

"What Ned?"

"Where is your class going on the science trip tomorrow?"

He was still making sure the bow on top of the envelope he was fiddling with was sitting just right. "Oh. We're heading to a recycle center a town over." He said in a very bored way.

Cookie was one of the smartest people in our class. In middle school, he was building his own PCs. I was pretty sure he even taught our computer teacher a few tricks. So it was unsurprising once we got to high school he was taking way more advanced science classes than a simpleton like me.

Which explained his field trip to a recycling center and not a sewage plant.

"Wow. That sounds way better. Still boring. But better. I wonder if I could sneak onto your bus Wednesday and just go with your class. Like we did that one time in middle school."

He looked up from his increasingly annoying to watch gift arranging. "I'm pretty sure you don't want to try that. The teachers seem way more hardcore against that sort of thing," he said in a concerned tone. "Plus our class has all the uh… advanced students." He added, expecting me to understand what he was trying to get across.

Cookie had been forced to gain some situational awareness after last year due to our friend group of three becoming a friend group of two. Plus he was getting better at these kinds of social cues anyway.

It's not like he was wrong though. Jennifer, of course, being great at everything she tries, excelled in academics, so she was in the same science class as Cookie. So that meant she was going to a recycling plant this week and not a poop factory or wherever my class for less intelligent people was going.

He didn't want to be in between our… situation no matter how hypothetical the scheme to sneak into another class' field trip was.

I sighed. "You're right. Taft High School's teachers are so much more anti-fun compared to Polk Middle School."

The chaos of my middle school life seemed like a very distant memory despite it being just a little over a year ago. My brand of 'adventurous shenanigans' didn't fly here. I learned that the first week of freshman year.

"Well, I've got to get to English. Mr. Rogue can't stand me and if I show up late I feel like he will boil over. Catch you later." I started to walk away from Cookie as I was speaking. I sidestepped a chair outside a classroom near his locker and continued walking down the hall. Cookie was already in his own little 'give Lisa the best present ever' world again so it didn't matter.

Cookie had become distant to me recently. I knew he saw Jennifer more often than I did. They must be hanging out some right? Not that he would tell me. In his mind not telling me would be 'being a better friend' to me or something.

On top of that, he was spending so much time with Lisa Zemo. They had been together since the end of junior high. A part of me knew I shouldn't be jealous of their relationship, but Cookie and I only had locker conversations now. Sometimes he wasn't interested in what I was talking about during those anyway.

Just like today.

Sophomore year was turning out to be as bad as freshman year.

My former best friend and I were no longer on speaking terms and the second oldest friend I had was so happy he had no time for me anymore. I guess relationships do change from middle school to high school.

I wondered if there were any tips in the guide for this situation?

Ha. Yeah right.

X X X

It was still the first week of school.

So the other students in the hallway between classes were cheerful in a way they weren't during the middle part of the year. The day-to-day slog of the school year hadn't set in yet.

Most people were chatting near lockers or outside classrooms with their friends they may not have seen regularly during the summer break. It was still early in the morning so I saw some students with their heads down trying to close their eyes at their desks as I passed classrooms.

It was a normal morning so far. If the second morning of the school year was enough time to establish what was a 'normal' morning.

As I continued to walk to my English class I noticed a commotion in the hallway ahead of me.

"Nice leather jacket. Are you auditioning for the school play?" A bunch of upperclassmen snickered at the insult aimed at Billy Loomer. I think they may have been on the football team. The insult wasn't well thought-out in my opinion but I knew it didn't need to be an artful diss to hit Loomer hard.

The upperclassmen were in a half-circle around Loomer and someone else I couldn't see. Whoever the other person next to Loomer was looked short from where I was standing farther down the hall. He would never admit it out loud, but Loomer's face gave away how much making fun of his prized black leather jacket hurt his feelings.

Loomer had terrorized me during my middle school years and was the closest thing I've ever had to a 'bully.' We got along sometimes but he spent his middle school years teasing me in various ways. The teasing never went beyond minor antagonism though.

However, all that changed in high school.

Loomer went from being the big guy in one school to one of the underclassmen in another school in a split second. He went from 'terrorizing' the student body to being terrorized by the much older student body after one summer break.

So Loomer didn't have time to be a minor inconvenience to me anymore. I guess it's just another aspect of my life that changed moving to high school.

"We're just trying to get to class guys. Leave us alone. We aren't freshmen anymore." When I saw the source of the voice I was shocked.

A year ago if you had told me the small kid with the horrible, large bowl cut we affectionately called "Coconut Head" would be the one coming to Billy Loomer's defense I would have laughed you out of the room.

Coconut Head was short and I guess that's all it took for Loomer to target him for his brand of teasing in middle school. I think Loomer is the one who gave Coconut Head his infamous nickname.

"Look mommy's haircut is standing up for your girly jacket. How romantic." The humongous senior spit at Loomer and Coconut Head.

Ew. 'Mommy's Haircut?'

'Coconut Head' was a way better nickname.

It looks like Loomer and Coconut Head had decided they would try to leave the situation and escape the upperclassmen. Their escape was going as successful as you would imagine it would go. These seniors were football players.

Loomer and Coconut Head walked a few feet away before they just decided to run for it.

"Hey. We're talking to you!" Bully McFootballman screamed at Loomer and Coconut Head. McFootball... man's posse of other upperclassmen started chasing my two classmates down the hall.

I decided I wasn't going to be a part of what was going on here. If there's one thing I've learned in one year of high school is that standing out got attention from the meaner part of the student population.

At least at Taft High School.

The leather jacket and large rounded haircut Loomer and Coconut Head continued to sport were a recipe for disaster too. Coconut Head's entirely beige wardrobe also didn't help.

I decided to take a longer route through the science hallway to get to my English class while avoiding the commotion that continued to work its way through this hallway. The past few months I've had more time alone in the hallways between classes than ever before and it gave me plenty of time for thinking. Thinking like I used to do making tips for the guide. Back then I had a couple more people nearby to brainstorm though.

Anyway, here's something to consider: Would changing Loomer's leather jacket he still refused to take off or changing Coconut Head's god-awful haircut make any difference in how those football guys treated them? Would changing who they were as people help them fit in better?

My guess was no.

I was no expert after only one year of high school, but when we got here it seems like the social structure changed almost overnight. There were almost legal adults walking around as your upperclassmen and less of a divide between grade levels. My classmates were now influenced by much more 'mature' students. And they all changed.

Friend groups sort of sorted themselves between wealthy, attractive, and ...not.

That's why Loomer and Coconut Head were having such a hard time. Loomer was never going to be part of the 'alpha' group until maybe he was older. Even then he wouldn't be part of the group that 'mattered.' Just the group that was angry and taller than freshmen they wanted to beat up.

From the outside, it seemed like it was as simple as being too poor or not very good-looking.

Was I oversimplifying things? Maybe.

Still. I guess Billy and Coconut Head changing themselves a little bit might help them get a larger group of acquaintances they could hang around. Change their appearances and interests a little? Or at least fake it? They wouldn't be a part of the sporty/attractive 'alpha' group but maybe a step below.

You know. The 'beta' group?

Not quite losers but not quite the coveted 'popular' crowd?

Maybe in a group of similar people, the Fearsome Football Fools would leave them alone. Safety in numbers and all that.

Once I got to the stairs leading to the second floor I consciously started to slow down. I was already going to be late due to my detour. Mr. Rogue already seemed sick of me and we've only had one day of class. I guess I left quite the impression on him last year.

Might as well just slow down for a while. I was already going to be chewed out for being a tiny bit late so might as well miss a few minutes of class.

More time to brainstorm 'tips' for a nonexistent guide.

I was thinking about my 'safety in numbers strategy' again. Even if you did make friends by changing yourself up and 'blending in' they would be temporary.

Compromising yourself so your life was easier in this limited window of high school couldn't possibly foster genuine friendships. The people you would surround yourself with wouldn't care about who you were. Just who you became to be 'normal' in high school. Just who you became to 'survive' school.

Disposable relationships.

Your friendships would be over as soon as your surroundings changed and high school was finished. Everyone would go their separate ways. I wonder if this is the case the whole time. Even middle school.

Is that why Cookie and Mo…?

...

Anyway. Loomer and Coconut Head.

High school was tough like that.

At least there was no way these unwritten rules about who could be in each other's lives based on arbitrary factors like money and looks would last into adulthood.

...right?

X X X

"Class, pay attention! Bigby, surprising no one, is late again today. Were you at least planning on being on time and did you just get lost in our already very small school?"

Mr. Rogue wasn't running out of breath despite the fast-talking. There was no way he was close to done. When he started ranting he would go forever.

"I was just thinking to myself how could you be less of a success than last year. How were you gonna top yourself? I was just holding my head in anticipation. Ask your classmates. I was doing it! Last year your grades were already impressively low so that box was checked already. Then it came to me! You would team up with your friends and make a ruckus in my class. But no! I realized you don't have friends in this class."

Wow, this is getting personal.

"Of course I should have realized you would have taken the tardiness route. It's such an easy way to drive me out of my mind! Our school is so easily navigable. It should be easy to get here. Or… why not just meander as slow as you can and get here when it suits you the best? The only drawback is you miss a few moments of my riveting class! Well, good news Bigby! We waited to start the lesson until you strolled in! Now you won't miss anything! Isn't that great?"

"Uh-" I couldn't even get a reply out.

"Now get your seat! Now!"

Now, why would I just sit there and take the verbal abuse from someone supposed to guide me through this class? Well with Rogue you have to just take it. If you reply to him you charge his batteries. The guy can rant forever. So I would rather shut up and avoid being dismantled in front of everyone. Even though that would be entertaining for the rest of my English class.

I hurried to my seat next to Suzie Crabgrass.

Loomer's seat was nearby as well.

Wait. How the heck did he get here before I did after his run-in with the football freaks?

"Hahaha, Bigby looks like you're Rogue's favorite student this year too!" Loomer mouth-breathed in my direction. I guess his hallway humiliation with Coconut Head coming to his 'rescue' is long forgotten.

Of course, I knew better.

But I also wasn't going to reveal I saw him getting pushed around. He just seemed so happy filling the role of 'Ned's Bully' once again. I didn't want to burst his bubble. He had a rough morning.

This was Loomer's only class with his two henchmen Jerry Croney and Buzz Rodriguez so he was extra insufferable. Maybe those two let him relive his middle school bullying glory days inside the safety of this classroom.

"It's okay Ned, it's only the second day of school. He'll lighten up" Suzie whispered to me as Rogue started talking about creative writing or something equally boring.

"Yeah don't worry Neddy!" Loomer squealed at me in his best Suzie impression. Which was weird. Weren't Loomer and Suzie together? Or did they break up again? I couldn't keep track of those two anymore.

"Loomer I swear to Ernest Hemingway I will kick you out of the window!" Talking in Rogue's class was a good way to make him lose his mind and shout B-movie dialogue at you. I'm surprised Loomer's rant only lasted that long. I guess Rogue keeps his long-winded rants for me. Anyway, Loomer didn't seem phased by having his teacher scream at him.

Jerry and Buzz were snickering a few desks away. Those two suffer from 'sidekick-itis.' I was sure they have their own personalities besides 'co-bullies' but I was struggling to define what they are outside Loomer's shadow.

I guess that's former 'co-bullies' now. They haven't gotten big enough since entering high school to be pushing anyone around. Jerry was very obviously in the sewing club in middle school but who knows if there's an equivalent he's enrolled in somewhere in this high school. Buzz has literally never uttered a word in my presence. Jennifer used to swear he talked once but I don't know how much of that I believe.

I looked over at Suzie. I could hear the noise her pencil was making against her notebook. She was taking notes. Yeah, I guess that's a good plan.

I don't need my grades already in the gutter in my least favorite teacher's class.

X X X

I was the last one trying to leave class when Rogue stopped me with his arm across the doorway.

Great. In front of everyone. Or more accurately, behind everyone as they walked out.

Evelyn Kwong, Coconut Head, and Martin Qwerly were looking at me and Rogue with curiosity. This is embarrassing. Their curiosity must have been short-lived because they kept walking. Thank god.

I turned toward my English teacher. "Bigby. Don't be late to my class again. It's bad enough you aren't paying attention in the class itself. I don't want to have to tell you again. Show up late one more time and you will be punished. I promise you won't like it. It's gooooood too. Ohohohohoho perfect for a lazy skidmark like you."

Skidmark?

"It wasn't…" Whoops! I almost defended myself against Rogue's threat. Rule number one dealing with him! Don't feed his anger.

"What was that?!"

"Nothing," I said. With confidence.

"That's what I figured. Get out of here."

After being dismissed, I wasted no time getting out of the empty classroom. I wondered what 'punishment' he had in mind? Teachers seemed less likely to give detention here than they were in middle school. Or if they did, I've heard way less about it. I couldn't figure out if that makes the detention possibility more or less scary.

Maybe teachers didn't want to have to stay at work any later in the day than they had to.

Walking out the door to the classroom I saw Suzie leaning against the hall of the opposite hallway. I kept walking by her in the direction of my science class.

"Ned!" She called after me.

Huh. Weird.

"Uh hey, Suzie." I guess I didn't want to be rude so I turned around.

"Why did you walk away from me like that?" She seemed kinda upset. "I was waiting for you!"

"I guess… I didn't think that's what you were doing." I tried to be as friendly as possible. Fake smile settings were set to maximum.

"What did Rogue say to you in there?" She was walking forward like we were going to walk together down the hall. I guess I'll just follow along right? She wants to talk to me. It's not completely out of the ordinary. Suzie and I know each other.

Yeah.

This is normal.

We've been talking way more in the short time this school year has been going. Contained in classrooms though. Suzie and I's friendship seemed dependent on how much Jennifer was around me. So we've been just fine.

No, not like that.

I was sure in Suzie's mind Suzie Crabgrass and Ned Bigby's romantic potential is a ship that sailed over a year ago in middle school when I ditched her for Jennifer.

"He said if I'm late again he's got a punishment lined up for me. Made it sound like a big one."

Her face, complete with a concerned look, turned toward me. "Really? What do you think it is?" She stopped walking.

That's a good question. There's less of a 'safety net' in high school, but I haven't reached the higher 'tiers' of punishment. I don't have a friendly relationship with any of the teachers compared to middle school.

I think I just came to a sad realization. Being Mr. Rogue's anger sponge was the most talking I did with any teacher here.

Wait. That was a gross metaphor. Forget that.

"Whatever it is I don't intend to find out," I said without confidence.

"Probably a good idea to avoid showing up late or forgetting homework then," Suzie said while looking at me with that concerned look again as we started walking down the hall.

Because I was held up in Rogue's class, there were fewer students still hanging around this part of the hall. They must have all headed toward their next classes.

Suzie and I went downstairs heading toward the science hallway. We didn't say anything for a few minutes walking side by side in the now quieter hall.

Hm.

What was this? An intervention? "You seem more worried about me getting in trouble than I do."

"You just need to avoid getting the teachers irritated all the time. You've been different ever since…." She cut herself off.

We both knew what she was about to say.

She must have decided this conversation was heading in a direction she didn't anticipate. "Did you know we have the same science class?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, that's why I was waiting for you. You didn't see me in the science room yesterday?"

"I guess not." I made a mental note to gain more awareness of others in the room.

"We should just go to Science class together after English from now on. There aren't that many people I want to talk to in either class."

"Huh. I thought you were dating Loomer?" I wasn't playing dumb. I was confused.

"Oh, we broke up over the summer. We've never really been able to make our relationship work in high school."

If I had to guess this was Suzie's opinion. I doubted Billy Loomer had the critical thinking skills to judge whether or not their relationship was evolving properly after one year of high school. Or judge whether or not Suzie was thinking too hard about a high school relationship.

I was in a big glass house though so I guess I couldn't afford to criticize.

"Huh. Lotta that going around." Like her, I decided I would change the subject to dodge any heavy topics. "So you're going to the sewage place tomorrow too?"

"It's a wastewater treatment facility, Ned."

My fake smile settings evolved into a cynical laugh. "Okay wastewater treatment facility. Whatever it takes to distract from the truth." What I said wasn't funny but Suzie chuckled anyway.

The hallways seemed more pleasant than they normally did.

I haven't been physically bullied for some time. A lot of that dies off in middle school regardless of what happened this morning with Coconut Head and Loomer. I still wasn't exempt from the other kind of teasing.

The worst kind.

Walking through the hallways by yourself watching groups of attractive people eyeball you briefly and then laugh with each other. Your best hope is that they are laughing about something else one of them said. Of course, that's what they are doing when that happens.

...right?

Well, it wasn't happening right now. I guess walking to class with an attractive person next to you was the solution to social anxiety all along.

Put it in the Guide.

X X X

Suzie took a seat near the front of the class when we got to the science classroom.

Our teacher Mrs. Edison was busy chatting Missy Meany's ear off. "I tried to tell him the grass was too long but you know Regis. That husband of mine is sooooo lazy."

Missy, the queen bee of our grade, looked like she wanted to crawl out of her skin and escape through the crack in the window.

Mrs. Edison was super chatty at all times about the most inconsequential topics. I would say she was just being vapid and breezy, but I always got the vibe she was putting on an act. Maybe all teachers do. At least to some degree. There's no way she was that talkative about unimportant subjects.
Maybe she had a vendetta against Missy. Edison seemed to be feeding off her clear boredom.

I hadn't spoken to Missy since middle school. For a hot second in 8th grade, she was trying to force herself into a relationship with me.

It's a long story. Needless to say, it never worked out. I think it was more about taking something from Suzie or maybe even Jennifer than it was about finding me interesting.

In high school, Missy's been spending her time with the rich, attractive crowd.

We had seconds before the class started so I grabbed a seat in front of a scrawny freshman. He looked up from his notebook at me. For a split second, I thought I caught what looked like recognition in his eyes. Then he put his head back down.

Did I know this guy?

Did he know me?

"Alllllllll right class. How is everybody?!" Mrs. Edison's oddly annoying voice took my attention. "Today we will be continuing memorizing the steps of the water cycle! I know you young people just can't contain your excitement." She looked over all of our class like she was our proud mother.

"Alright hurry up! Break into partners of two! We've got an odd number of students so Missy dear you're with me. If we get done early I have plenty of Regis stories to tell. I knowwww you love those!"

"Oh goddddd." Missy complained. Her blonde hair falling into her face. Now I know I saw an evil glint shine in Edison's eye just now. I wonder what Missy did to deserve this… 'special' treatment?

I looked around. Maybe Suzie and I… never mind looks like she partnered up with Seth Powers. I guess the basketball god himself did need a partner after Missy had already been taken by Mrs. Edison. He must have thought Suzie was the next best option. Or, Seth Powers is a spacey idiot so he was just near Suzie when the time came. There likely wasn't any thinking involved.

I looked around the classroom again and it looks like I've run out of people I would care to go over the water cycle with. Loomer and Coconut Head were now paired sitting at the same desk with the water cycle worksheet. I guess their friendship from earlier this morning was continuing to evolve. Weird.

I turned around to the freshman behind me.

"Hey, do you want to just be with me and we can get through this?"

If he's just quiet and shy like his body language earlier suggested, maybe I won't have to do a lot of talking and we can get through this forced socializing. His eyes widened oddly and he shook his head 'yes.'

I turned around and pulled my chair to his desk. He already had the sheet from yesterday out with the water cycle steps we were supposed to care about. As I got comfortable on the other side of his desk I could feel him staring at me.

We sat in awkward silence when I got situated as water cycle steps were repeated throughout the room by our classmates. He finally moved to speak.

"You're Ned Bigby."

"Uh yes."

"I'm Alex."

"Cool. So you wanna get through this?"

I needed to control this conversation before it got away from me. I wasn't interested in finding out more about him than his name.

He paused, still looking at me. His face looked as if he was debating on whether or not to say something specific. "I remember you from Polk Middle School. You're a legend." He said with awe that was profoundly confusing.

I almost laugh-choked. This is not where I saw this class going. "I'm a what?"

This would be good.

"You were the one that made the Guide."

Mild amusement turned to fear fast. Oh no. Not this. Not here.

"Shhhh," I whisper-yelled at him.

"What? The survival…"

"Be quiet!" I said with some more urgency. "I don't do that anymore."

"What do you mean!? The Guide helped every…"

"Come. Over. Here." I cut him off again. Already walking there, I gestured to a corner table at the far end of the classroom near what looked like chemistry equipment. He got up and walked over and plopped down across from me getting more excited.

Other people in the class were starting to notice too. Suzie looked up at me and Alex from what looked like teaching Seth to read with a confused face.

Mrs. Edison was too busy telling Missy about her husband Regis' trip to the foot doctor to notice anything.

Gotta ignore them now. I've made it this long in my high school career without this embarrassment coming back to haunt me again and I wasn't going to let little Alex Freshman ruin it for me.

"I said. I don't do that anymore."

"What do you mean? Your tips saved me so many times! Making sure you use the nurse's office bathroom was genius!"

He was getting louder and the embarrassment factor was starting to climb. I was glad my back was facing the rest of the class. I hoped to god nobody could hear this.

"The guide is over. I know you are a freshman, but nobody in high school cares about someone walking around with a special notebook giving tips to survive school like… like some kind of guidance counselor." I paused for a second. "They don't like that person." I felt myself getting upset. All the talk about the guide brought me back to that first week of high school.

"I care!" He said with a smile. "I actually need some tips. You see I'm in all these classes with upperclassmen like you and the classes are really hard and I know it's been just one day but all my middle school friends won't talk to me and seem to care less about m-"

"Alex stop."

He was still smiling and was going to ramble on at a high rate of speed until I interrupted him. I had to end this conversation. We were teetering on a dangerous edge. I couldn't risk my classmates overhearing this and digging up memories of 'tips' or 'survival strategies' from middle school. I guess one week of high school too.

Digging up memories of how embarrassingly I used to act. They would start humiliating me and making me even more alone than I was already.

I could picture Jennifer's 'embarrassed of Ned' face surrounded by her new laughing friends.

I shuddered.

Had to end this now. I mustered as much callousness as I could. Which was getting easier lately. I wonder what that's about?

"Don't be stupid."

My fed-up tone of voice must have had some sort of impact because he recoiled in his seat for a second. "If you were smart enough to get in these classes with upperclassmen then use your big brain to figure them out yourself. Also. Maybe your friends just changed over the summer. Nothing in a pretend 'Survival Guide' could fix that anyway."

"B-but…" he started speaking but then trailed off.

I looked to the side. I didn't want to make eye contact with him. He should just be a grade below me but he looked so much younger.

"Look I don't even know you. Don't be weird. Ask a teacher or something." Maybe this would work. I turned back toward him. He seemed to be getting upset. "It's just high school. It's not that hard to figure out." I said, lying to him.

I could feel my volume going up as I lectured him. The image of Jennifer's 'embarrassed of Ned' face surrounded by her new friends w bugging my brain again. He wasn't saying anything.

"Your friends probably just met someone they have more fun with or something. Here's a 'tip' for you: maybe they were never really your friends in the first place? Or maybe they're in high school now and you are acting like you are still in junior high? Maybe just grow up? Don't be pathetic!?"

...

Um.

I guess things got away from me there for a second. I didn't intend to go that far. The last part I said…

It was familiar in a disturbing way.

He was sitting with his eyes to the floor. Getting blown off by a stranger like this wasn't what he had in mind.

Oh man.

I could feel my face heat up with embarrassment. Feeling worse by the second, I tried to think of a way to apologize. He wasn't asking for anything unreasonable. We weren't talking long enough for me to be as crazy as I was acting. Hell, I didn't even know this kid.

...

Maybe I was angry about something els- "Wow. That was dramatic. I. Love. It." Mrs. Edison apparently heard our exchange and called it out in front of the whole class interrupting my thoughts.

The repetition of the water cycle steps echoing through the classroom must have come to a stop a while ago. I wouldn't know. I was too busy going off on a freshman for no reason.

"Just so captivatingly rude." Edison looked like she wanted to give applause.

My stomach felt like it hit the floor.

Oh no.

How much did everyone hear? This was what I was trying to avoid from the beginning. Now I just sounded like an emotional crazy person in front of everyone here. I turned around. They were all staring at us.

Great.

Seth Powers had a confused look. Coconut Head had his usual 'Coconut Head shocked face' and Loomer looked uncomfortable. Most of the class looked uncomfortable. Except for one student.

Suzie Crabgrass just looked disappointed.

Or angry. I couldn't tell.

"Well, it's time to get back to work as much as I love watching this. Really juicy stuff. Water cycle! I knew the water cycle would be an interesting way to start the class!"

Edison was being weird and getting the class back under control all at once with remarkable skill.

Students all looked back at their partners and started going over the water cycle again. They still were side-eyeing me though. Can't blame them I guess.

I turned back around at the mortified freshman and thought I would throw him a bone. "Want to go over the water cycle?"

He didn't say anything so we just continued to sit at the same table looking at a water cycle worksheet. I thought I could feel most of the class still staring at my back.

Alex the freshman didn't say anything for the rest of the class.

X X X

Man, I was getting hungry.

"Okay darlings, don't forget your trip to the wastewater treatment facility tomorrow. It will bring the water cycle to life I promise!" Edison said with passion while she dismissed the class.

We all had returned to our original seat minutes before the class ended. Because of where our seats were in the class, Alex Freshman and I were two of the last people out of the classroom when class was over.

Thank goodness Edison didn't feel the need to have a discussion with me about my outburst during the class.

Alex sped off into the hallway leaving the rest of the class behind as soon as he hit the barrier of the classroom. I think he was the only freshman in this class.

It was time to head to lunch. The students were parting in each direction as they walked around someone in the hallway.

Suzie was standing dead center of the hall. Where I needed to walk. She was making direct eye contact with me. She was making it clear I was going to have other business to attend to before I had some food today.

Her arms were crossed and her face was twisted. I stopped in front of her and planted my feet. Had to brace for whatever this was about.

"What the hell was that Ned?"

Wow, she was pissed.

"I-"

"What has been with you lately?" She cut me off. "You're like a completely different person now!"

My face was getting red with embarrassment. I hoped the students passing by us in the hall weren't interested in this interaction. Suzie was back to being weird about me irritating teachers I supposed.

"I don't know what happened. I didn't mean to be that loud in there. Plus I think Edison didn't seem to care too much…"

"I'm not talking about the teacher Ned. I'm talking about the other guy. The new guy! Why would you yell at him like that? What did he even say?"

"Uh…"

"Did you even know him?!" She asked, but I was sure she already knew the answer.

He didn't say anything wrong.

He was asking for help.

Like Suzie said. I didn't even know him. I just didn't want to risk facing embarrassment. Which I ended up doing anyway. Needless to say, I wasn't feeling very proud of myself.

That didn't mean I wanted to hear it from Suzie Crabgrass.

"He...was asking for help. Help like I used to give with the Guide." I said. At a lower volume.

"Exactly. I heard everything. So did the whole class. All you did was yell at him!"

"Look, people aren't looking for guidance like that anymore. It was really cheesy. I don't think I ever really was…" I trailed off. It was true. My middle school 'adventures' related to the Guide often ended in disaster.

"Oh shut up. That's no excuse to scream at a freshman asking for your help!"

"I was not screaming."

"You, like, definitely were. The whole class heard you."

Our… 'discussion' was getting louder but thankfully most students had gone to lunch.

"Nobody wants tips from a stupid pretend 'Guide' anymore Suzie! Not even the people that helped make it! Don't you remember last year?! What's an 18-year-old senior gonna do with tips on 'how to get organized' or 'what to do on freakin' picture day?' Nobody cares anymore!" I was mad.

Why was she even talking to me like this? It's not like we were that close anymore. Why is a freshman I snapped at any of her business?

"I'm not talking about that Ned. I'm talking about being rude to a…"

I didn't know why I was getting so upset.

I wouldn't have said what came next if my brain filter had been working.

"How about 'tips' on 'how to survive' jealousy' Suzie? Do you need those? Let me just dig up my old notebook. I think I have some."As soon as it left my mouth I sensed something boiling over. A straw hitting a camel's back.

Her mouth dropped open.

The hall we were standing in was empty now. We had also gotten inches away from each other while fighting. We stood in silence staring at each other while what I said settled in the hallway with us. I could see her compose herself. She gritted her teeth.

"Look. Ever since you and Mosely had your thing you've been completely different."

"Hey-"

"No Ned. I'm talking now. Shut up. Just because things didn't go your way doesn't mean you can take it out on everyone around you. Also, just because some prick made fun of your school guide you used to do doesn't mean it didn't help anyone. Guess what? You don't think there's something you know after a year of high school that a freshman could use?" She took a breath. "How are you any different from the people who used to give you trouble? How selfish are you?"

"Why do you even care so much?" My face hurt from the scowl I was holding in place. My eyes were doing the watering thing they like to do when I get angry enough.

My eyes watering during anger is the worst. It's embarrassing and it's awful for losing the 'high ground' in arguments. It's easy to win a disagreement with a crybaby.

I didn't always get mad so often like this right?

"You just were so different after it happened. Then school started yesterday and you were, like, still the same. It...it made me feel bad so I thought I could help you. I thought you just needed someone to talk to." She offered me.

Everything clicked together.

Why she was talking to me over the last day. Why she was trying to keep me out of the teacher's naughty lists. Why she gave a crap about me yelling at a younger student. I wasn't being who she thought I should be.

She pitied me.

Suzie Crabgrass was a nice person. She felt sorry for me. For messing up my friendship with someone else. For changing into a more mature person. For adapting. She wanted to help me return to who she thought I was as a pre-teen in middle school.

Well, that's not what I want.

A 'friend' who is talking to you out of pity isn't a real friend. It's like the 'friends' of circumstances that are happening throughout high school.

Disposable relationships.

Suzie Crabgrass was a nice person. So her attempted rekindling of our friendship was done out of a sense of obligation. Nothing more.

My eyes continued to well up. I hated this. So embarrassing.

"Well, you don't have to worry about me anymore. I can handle myself. It's not my job to help other students. It never was. So don't worry about it. You can go off with your real friends and stop talking to me now."

"Ned that's-"

"I said don't worry about me!" I yelled at her. Interrupting whatever she was about to say. Suzie looked at my distressed face.

"Fine! By the way Ned," she cocked her head in a trademark sassy Suzie Crabgrass pose, "you used to be so much more interesting. What kind of 12-year-old decides to spend his free time helping other students get through a tough time in their lives?" Her voice was high with emotion. "I can see why Mosely loved being around you so much then."

She took another breath.

"But whatever this is…" she gestured up and down in my direction with her hands "...isn't interesting at all."

She paused.

After what she said about Jennifer I couldn't speak. It got me bad.

"..."

"What 'advice' did you give to that kid in there Ned? Oh, I remember."

"..."

"Just grow up. Don't be pathetic."

She spun on her heel and stomped away from me. Leaving me standing in the empty hallway. If I wasn't so upset, maybe I would think it was funny she wasn't the first girl in my life to say those exact words to me.

I wasn't hungry anymore.

X X X

I snuck into the cafeteria after I was able to pull myself together.

Everyone this late in the lunch period had already found their seat and had finished most of their food. I didn't feel like eating, so I just decided to sit down somewhere.

It was the second day of the school year, so it's not like the lunchtime social groups had been ironed out yet but they were close. Each circular table was a clear marker of what your interests were. The sports/cheerleader group had a table, the academic powerhouses had a table, the emo kids, etc.

If you've seen a high school movie, TV show, or musical you get the basic idea.

Art imitates life and all that. Or is it the other way around? I couldn't remember.

I started walking. I was trying to get to one of the spillover tables with people who didn't fit into any of those categories without drawing attention to myself.

From a distance, I saw a table near the large windows with Coconut Head's recognizable rounded bowl cut. Loomer and Martin Qwerly were beside him. Otherwise, they had the table to themselves.

Wow. Did I miss something? Were they like close friends now or what?

Scanning the rest of the cafeteria, I found Cookie at the table with the other geniuses. He was sitting with his girlfriend Lisa Zemo, Albert Wormenheimer, Evelyn Kwong, Lance 'it's pronounced Wid-jay' Widget, and Claire Sawyer.

All brainiacs. Future valedictorians. You know the type. I sat there yesterday but I don't belong there. I wasn't in the mood to fake social interactions with them today.

My eye caught a group of freshmen sitting at a table together on the other end of the cafeteria. I recognized Alex Freshman there alongside a couple of other students with half-eaten plates in front of them. They didn't look like they settled into any of the other groups yet.

They were looking around the cafeteria like they were trying to figure out the lunchtime dynamic. I couldn't tell if they knew each other or they were just sitting with each other because they had no other option.

Maybe they were just making the best of a bad situation. Well. It's only their second day of high school.

They would figure it out.

I had already spent too much time looking around. I decided to go sit with Martin, Loomer, and Coconut Head. Martin wouldn't be able to shut up the whole time I was there, but at least his ability to have a one-sided conversation would reduce my input requirement. I just wasn't up to being talkative with anyone.

Martin talked almost exclusively in run-on sentences so it was hard to get a word in while talking to him.

I walked over and sat down at the circular table. Loomer and Coconut Head looked over at me. They looked like they were waiting for me to say something. I wonder how bad my eyes looked after my fight with Suzie.

Of course, Martin started talking. "Hey, Ned! How are you doing?"

"I'm good." I lied.

"Great! I can't believe you're sitting here with us don't you usually sit with Simon you look really tired are you really tired I'm not used to waking up early after summer vacation so I'm a little drowsy myself how are your classes going my classes seem like they are gonna be fine this year can you believe we're sophomores already the freshmen look so tiny guess we were there too just a year ago."

See what I mean? He won't shut up. Also, Martin Qwerly is the last person who should be talking about the size of the underclassmen. He and Coconut Head are shorter than most freshmen.

"Calm down you loser. He just got here." Loomer cut Martin off before he could monopolize the little time left of the lunch period. Dang, it Loomer. Let him talk. I wanted to sit here in silence the rest of the time.

"Hey, Bigby have you seen Suzie?" Looker questioned with an uncharacteristic amount of concern. Crap. I didn't know how much to reveal about my argument with his former romantic partner a few minutes ago.

I'll just play stupid.

"Uh yeah a little bit ago after our science class. Isn't she here somewhere?" That was a genuine question. If she wasn't here where did she go? I figured she would just come to the cafeteria.

"Well yesterday she sat with us and today we can't find her." Coconut Head spoke up.

"Wait Loomer, she sat with you? I thought you two weren't together anymore?" The nature of Suzie and Loomer's relationship had always been confusing to me.

"Well yeah. Why does that mean she can't sit here?" Now it was Loomer's turn to look confused. Martin smiled in an oblivious way and nodded. So I was the one asking a stupid question?

Okay.

I guess different relationships handle break-ups in different ways. If this break-up even sticks. I feel like I've lost count of how many times Suzie and Loomer have been in and out of a romantic relationship since junior high.

Loomer turned around and looked across the cafeteria. "I thought she might be sitting at the table with Jennifer because I think I remember them like… being friends… but kind of not friends too? But she isn't there either."

Jennifer and Suzie's dynamic was hard to pin down as Loomer was saying so artfully. Sometimes they were friends, but they were both so competitive and they butted heads over some of the activities they had in common. Which were many. Like volleyball. Then I got involved and it seemed like whatever friendship they cobbled together was doomed to fail.

I looked over at the sports all-stars table. Jennifer's new friends. There were a few students I recognized. Cheerleader Missy Meany, basketball boy Seth Powers, and the back of Jennifer the volleyball goddess' head. Jennifer was easily identifiable from her brown hair. Not to mention her height which set her apart even sitting down.

This is the table.

This is the table I was imagining in science class when that freshman Alex brought up the Guide.

Jennifer's 'embarrassed of Ned' face while she was surrounded by her new laughing friends.

The visual must have been enough to send me over the edge. Jennifer was able to slide into the attractive, superstar crowd after she stopped hanging around me.

But.

If I knew Mosely like I thought I did she would hate it at that table. Jennifer was just too smart for them. Their conversations would be too empty for her. Of course, I should face the possibility that I don't know Mosely that well anymore. She was sitting next to one of the football players who looked like he was talking her ear off. I think I saw her head lean back in a laugh.

Wait.

Was that Jock Goldman?

Jock Goldman was a junior who had various romantic run-ins with Jennifer throughout middle school. One time he just used her to get another girl jealous. Another time he took Jennifer on a double date with me and Suzie.

It was the double date I kissed Jennifer instead of Suzie on accident… uh… it's a long story. He was very tall and good-looking. I'm sure you didn't need me to tell you but he plays football too.

So she's hanging around with Jock Goldman again. Okay.

Neat.

Neat neat neat….

A hand reached out and slapped me on the back of the head. "Hey, Bigby! Are you going to answer me?"

Coconut Head and Martin were snickering as I was snapped out of my thoughts by Loomer. "Huh, what did you ask?" I turned back around to face Loomer. "What were we talking about?"

"What was Suzie talking to you about after we left Science dingbat?" The weak insult from Loomer triggered more snickering from Coconut Head and Qwerly. I didn't think I was ready to live in a world where Coconut Head and Martin Qwerly are Loomer's replacement sidekicks.

"Oh… uh nothing. She was just reminding me of tomorrow's field trip." I lied to him.

"Oh yeah! We've got to go to a sewage plant! Ha ha ha!" Of course, Loomer would be pleased about our field trip situation. Coconut Head and Qwerly sitting nearby seemed eager to get excited for whatever Loomer was excited about.

"Wastewater treatment facility." I corrected Loomer as I stood up from our table. I was still thinking of what Jock could have said to make Jennifer laugh. I needed to forget about it. Who she talked to was none of my business. I haven't even looked her in the face in months. Just the back of her head in hallways and gym class.

I had to get out of here. What Suzie said was bugging me badly and my brain can only handle one mental breakdown at a time. "I'm heading out."

"Don't get lost going to your next class again Bigby! Ha ha ha!" Loomer's goodbye was colorful as always.

"See ya, Ned."

"Bye Ned!"

I was already walking away and weaving between tables of students as Martin and Coconut Head said their goodbyes. When I passed by the table with Alex Freshman and his maybe-friends Alex had a book open and didn't look up at me.

I avoided looking in the direction of Jennifer's table as I walked out of the cafeteria.

X X X

Navigating the hallways after school was always a nightmare.

Everyone is so excited to leave the building all day long until the final bell rings. Then they walk as slow as they can and block the hallway.

I was trying to work my way to see Cookie at his locker.

I managed to escape any interactions with other students for the rest of the school day. Plus, the rest of my classes were uneventful compared to the first part of the school day.

I didn't remember what we talked about in math today. I was too busy thinking about how this day has gone. Not that I would have been the person to ask what we learned in math even if I was paying attention.

Gym class was made better by the girls doing a separate activity today, so I didn't have to be around Suzie after she dismantled me outside science earlier. I usually only had to stay clear of Jennifer in gym class. Now I was going to have to worry about her and Suzie.

Fun.

Gym class was always made easier by having to avoid confrontation! Coach Barkman was on a warpath against my usual level of apathy in the class, so she made me run the whole time too. I was sore in all my leg parts after a summer of non-functioning.

The soreness from having to try in gym class made the process of getting to Cookie's locker slow-going. Well. The soreness and the massive amount of people who seemed to have forgotten how to walk at an appropriate rate of speed!

This was what it must be like driving home from work after being there all day. All the angry shouting I've seen people in my life do while they drive was making a lot more sense now.

The students crowding the hallway were buzzing with post-school excitement. The beginning of the school year was still warm outside so there would be plenty of activities for the people not staying behind practicing sports and other extracurriculars to occupy their time. People were busy making plans about what they were going to spend such a nice evening doing with their friends. How great for them.

I noticed Cookie seemed to be way more activated than usual as I walked up to his locker. Was there a problem? "What's going Cookie?"

"It's been crazy Ned!" He gasped looking toward me. "I locked Lisa's birthday gifts in my gym locker without memorizing the combination and now I can't get to them!"

"Okay calm down. Did you ask Coach Barkman to unlock it for you?"

"She said to talk to the janitor! He can get into all lockers. Then she laughed in my face." He was making his 'upset Cookie face' as he continued to spiral.

"Well, you're never seeing those gifts again," I said. With confidence.

In my year at Taft High School, I had never seen one janitor or maintenance person. As much as school janitor Gordy would involve himself in our activities at Polk Middle School, whoever was in charge of cleanliness at the high school was never to be found. Nobody even knew where their 'office' would be to find them. The teachers, as Coach Barkman showed Cookie, were in on the joke because they were never any help when it came to finding a janitor. Taft High must have one hell of a night guy because it wasn't dirty here. Which made the situation even stranger.

"Okay, when are you supposed to give her her gifts?"

"We were supposed to walk to get food after school and then I was gonna give her the perfect present!" He was panicking. "I thought maybe I could just get flowers to make up for the missing gifts. Then I got the hall pass and called the flower shop during one of my classes. They are wayyyyy too expensive!"

That was the truth. The first time I got Jennifer flowers last year taught me how expensive flowers are. Going out with someone is a rich person's game.

"I've already spent most of my money buying her present the first time!" Cookie was frantic. Even for him.

I had to start scheming. "Hey! Concentrate. Tell her you want her birthday to be perfect and you need to put the finishing touches on her gift. Call her and instruct her to just meet you where you were gonna eat."

"But I don't have her gift anymore!?"

"Cookie. That's why you will meet her. While she goes to the restaurant you will be taking a detour to the store and get a replacement gift."

"Oooooooooh. So she won't even know her birthday present was in jeopardy! Plus she'll be even more excited as I build up hype for my gift-giving skills! Perfect plan Ned!"

It felt like he was taking some artistic liberties with my plan. He would be lucky to find a replacement gift in the limited window of time he had. He shouldn't be overselling a replacement gift purchased during a 15-minute window. He started throwing books from his locker into his bag in a frantic way.

"Hopefully the store isn't too far away from where you too were gonna eat because you are about to do a lot of running Cookie."

Cookie didn't look like he was in the best shape but he had thinned out since middle school. Speaking of running. I needed to sit down. I was more tired than I thought. I wonder how much of it was from gym class and how much of it was mental exhaustion.

There was a classroom chair near the door to the computer lab a few feet away from Cookie's locker. I decided I would take a seat there while we were talking. "Be careful Ned. That chair might be broken." Cookie said, throwing more books into his bag.

"Why would it be broken?"

"Why would it be in the hallway like that? Maybe the teacher put it out here for the janitor to fix."

"What janitor? Cookie, we just had this conversation. That's the cause of all your problems. There is no janitor." I was wishing he would just let me sit in peace. He was trying to zip up an ungodly amount of books in his bag as he questioned my decision to sit down.

I needed to talk to him. About everything. Cookie would be able to help sort my thoughts about this terrible day.

Maybe.

"Cookie am I pathetic?"

He stopped working the zipper around his backpack for a quick second. The question seemed to catch him off guard. "What do you mean?" He asked me after continuing his zipper attempt.

That wasn't a 'no.'
You know what? This is embarrassing and stupid. I shouldn't make my problems Cookie problems. "Nevermind. Don't worry about it."

Cookie hefted his backpack up and checked the time on his phone. He had one of the fancy cutting-edge ones with a giant keyboard on the bottom. "I gotta get going if I'm gonna get a gift before meeting Lisa."

Maybe I could go with him to help him shop. It would be a lot more running when I was already sore, but it would be like old times. "You want me to come? I can hel-"

"No, you've helped enough! Don't worry about it! Right now I have to call Lisa to tell her we need to meet. We wouldn't be able to talk anyway. I'll make the call while running to the store and then I'm going to meet her right away! Cookie out!"

He took a deep breath in an exaggerated way and took off down the hallway after his lame exit phrase. He went out the door at the end of the hallway running like a cartoon.

The late afternoon sunlight was shining into the hall as the door swung back shut. So Cookie was having solo Cookie adventures.

Ugh.

I wish I could've gone with him. Hell, I would've even settled for being the third wheel on Lisa Zemo's birthday date to avoid riding the school bus home. Lisa was nice enough she wouldn't have cared. It wouldn't have been the first time.

I could've used the distraction after today.

I was at the age where it's almost time for a driver's license but I still had to ride the school bus. It was awful. At least Jennifer stayed late for volleyball practice so I wouldn't have to see her riding home on the bus.

I was sure I could have gone with him just now if I had pushed the issue. He would have understood if I had explained myself.

I just didn't have it in me this afternoon.

Yeah. I shouldn't make his girlfriend's birthday date about me anyway.

The hallway was beginning to clear now as students went outside and found their buses. I was still in the hallway chair staring at the windows at the end of the hall. At least the day was over. I'd better leave too. Wouldn't want to miss my bus home. I leaned back into the chair one last time before leaving.

Then the chair fell apart into multiple pieces.

I fell to the ground hitting my head hard against the wall and then the floor as the chair felt like it disintegrated beneath me. The whole thing happened so fast and startled me so much I didn't notice the pain at first.

It didn't take me that long to start noticing the pain.
So the chair was broken…

X X X

I was still lying on the ground surrounded by pieces of the chair a sizable amount of time after Cookie left.

Aside from my throbbing head and my sore leg parts, I felt the best I had felt all day. Just lying there with my back on the floor and my eyes shut. This is where I belong.

...

It had only been one day.

I had been lectured in front of an entire class by a teacher I'm pretty sure has an unnatural anger problem.

I snapped at a younger student asking me for advice in front of several witnesses so I must have an unnatural anger problem too.

I got into a loud argument with Suzie Crabgrass, who by the way I've been bumming out so much she has been trying to be friends with me out of pity.

I saw Jennifer with Jock Goldman at lunch, none of my business by the way, and then got so upset I had to leave the room entirely.

I got ditched by Cookie who's going to get dumped by Lisa Zemo because I gave him a terrible plan to replace her birthday present.

I may have seriously injured myself sitting in a chair Cookie warned me was broken.

Impressive right?

I had missed the bus. Like a while ago. I was walking home. That's fine. It will take like 45 minutes.

Maybe an hour.

Or just leave me here. I'll sleep here for the rest of the night.

I could see Jennifer's 'embarrassed of Ned' face surrounded by her new tall, attractive friends laughing at me again as word of the destruction I tore across the school reached their superstar lunch table.

The cool hallway floor was oddly soothing as I imagined my worst fears. I had some quiet though. I hadn't bothered to open my eyes since crashing down to the floor from the chair I was starting to suspect was a metaphor.

The situation was bringing me a moment of clarity.

Suzie was right.

I had changed. I was afraid. I don't know when it happened. I used to be more outgoing but now I was always thinking about the reaction of everyone else before I do or say anything. I was analyzing everyone else and making sure I don't stand out enough to be analyzed by them.

Suzie said earlier my shift in attitude was because Jennifer and I…

…

No.

That was just an excuse.

It was happening before then. Even if she didn't say it Jennifer knew it too. High school wasn't as 'easy' for me as it was for everyone around me. Or maybe as easy as it looked for everyone around me.

Jennifer included.

I was becoming someone different to make high school easier. Compromising. Putting the guide away. Refusing to stand out. Trying not to be embarrassing. Not getting involved. Not doing the things I wanted to do.

Blaming those close to me for being themselves.

No wonder Cookie didn't hang out with me anymore. No wonder he hesitated with my question from earlier. He's detached sometimes but he wasn't an idiot. After last year he didn't recognize me anymore.

I was the one creating disposable relationships.
Trying to protect myself.

I needed to fix it.

I needed to fix everything.

...
"What kind of after-school activity is this?"

...

Oh no.

Not here.

Not like this.

I must have been too busy trying to self-actualize and wasn't paying attention to the footsteps!

"Ned? Are you okay?"

I hadn't heard her voice in what felt like so long. I rolled over facing away from where the voice was coming from."Just let me die here in peace." She laughed. It's been so long since I'd heard that too.

I opened my eyes and it took a second for my eyes to adjust. How long had I been lying there? I could make out her hand reaching out for me.

Jennifer Mosely pulled me up to a standing position.

It was long enough after school the hallway was empty except for us now. The sun had gotten low and it was starting to turn scarlet. Red beams of sunlight were pouring in from the windows at the end of the hall, My eyes were still adjusting from being shut so long moping on the floor.

Like a weirdo.

Jennifer's back was to the reddish sunlight and she was almost a silhouette against the bright light. She was facing me.

"What were you doing down there?"

For a wasted second, I thought about how big her eyes were. "Uh there was a chair... and… Cookie…"

I gestured to Cookie's locker and the pieces of my metaphor chair on the hallway floor I had just been lifted from. She had her volleyball practice outfit on. Kneepads and everything. Of course. Being here this late after school wasn't out of the ordinary for her.

Speaking of out of the ordinary.

I hoped she wasn't here looking at me lying on the floor this whole time.

Like a weirdo.

"You know what? It doesn't matter." I finished.

I didn't know what to do with my hands.

"Did Cookie ever figure out his gift emergency?"

Oh, so she knows about Cookie's solo adventure. I guess they do have more classes together. They were both pretty smart. Plus I was the one distancing myself for the past few months.

"He's running to get a replacement gift and he's meeting her later. He didn't have a lot of time. It's uh… probably already happened. Or happening right now. I don't really know what time it is."

She half smiled and shook her head in disbelief. "He should have just told Lisa the truth. She would've understood. Their dinner together would be the most important birthday gift to Lisa anyway."

That was a better plan. I was such an idiot. I began hoping she didn't find out I told Cookie to handle it the way he was doing. Or already did.

Really. What time was it? How late was I here? My head was still hurting from the floor.

"Y-yeah totally."

"Are you okay Ned?"

No.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Stop it. I'm worried about you."

I guess it was hard to lie to someone who's known you your whole life.

Has she gotten taller?

"You're worried about me?" The hope in my voice was impossible to snuff out.

"Well, when I saw you on the ground I thought Suzie had punched you out." She said, attempting another half-smile.

So that was getting around.

Great.

Perfect.

Other sarcastic adjectives.

"Hah! Yeah, that..." I started scratching the back of my head. Man, I really hit it hard against the floor.

"I heard it was historic." Her eyebrows did the thing she does when she's trying to figure out what I'm thinking. She was going to want to know what the fight was about.

I didn't want this to be all about me. I hadn't talked to Jennifer in so long and I had so many questions. "Yeah, it wasn't that big of a deal." I did my best to play it off as nothing.

She knew me too well for that to work. Oh well.

I was going to try to move this conversation somewhere else. "Anyway. How are you? What are you even doing in this part of the school? Don't you have practice?"

I could tell by the way her eyes did a quick 'squinting' motion she noticed the intentional change in subject. Have I looked away from her eyes this whole time? Am I being creepy?

"Yeah. We are in the middle of a break so I was on the way to the bathroom down this hall to wash my hands. The ball gets dirty."

I had never even thought about that.

Wasn't there a sink in the locker room attached to the gym…? I guess I was in no place to question why she would be anywhere. She walked up to me lying on the ground in the middle of chair debris with my eyes closed.

"How are your new friends?" I tried to keep the toxicity out of my voice. I probably failed.

"I wouldn't exactly call them 'friends.' We've known them since elementary school Ned. You know how they are. It's just Seth and Missy."

Don't ask about Jock Goldman. Don't ask about Jock Goldman. Don't ask about Jock Goldman. "I would have figured they drove you crazy."

"They do sometimes. Seth is too stupid to realize Missy wants to go out with him and Missy isn't much smarter so it can be frustrating to watch."

"I guess…" I looked away, continuing to rub the throbbing spot on the back of my head.

I wasn't too interested in the inter-politics of the alpha crowd and Jennifer's face was distracting to my concentration.

Looking away helped.

"We don't talk very often anymore so I'll take what I can get." She added.

I understood. The worst part of messing up a romantic relationship with your best friend was losing the best friend. There were a lot of 'worst' parts of messing up a romantic relationship with your best friend.

But that one was up there.

I didn't realize it would be the same for her. If it even was the same for her.

"Yeah it has been a while hasn't it?" I looked back at her. The red sunlight was still shooting beams in the empty hallway. The light was doing a cool thing with her hair. It was tied up in a ponytail.

"I thought that's what you wanted." Her half-smile she had the whole conversion up to this point disappeared.

…

"Yeah… no... I don't know."

She laughed.

I wanted to start crying again.

Because my head hurt. Yeah. No other reason.

"Those are the three options." She said during her laugh. I guess she thinks my emotional crisis is funny. Or she was just pitying me like Suzie.

"Mosely! Coach is looking for you!" There must have been another girl from the volleyball team behind me. The yelling was coming from the direction of the gym down the hallway. I didn't turn around to confirm.

I didn't want to look away from Jennifer.

"Okay, I'm coming!" Jennifer yelled back. She started walking around me toward the gym. She was careful to sidestep pieces of the chair on the floor. Her back was to me. She was a few feet down the hall.

When she spoke again it wasn't very loud.

"Hey, Ned. We should talk more than we do. I know it's been weird between us but it's even weirder living next to someone you never see anymore. I never know what you're up to now."

Jennifer started to walk away.

No. Not yet.

I hadn't even had the chance to say anything of value! This was too quick!

This is why I had been avoiding any interactions with her. Talking to her now shined a huge spotlight on the Jennifer-shaped hole she left in my life over the past few months.

No matter how unsubstantial the conversation we had just had. This is what happens when you talked to someone every day since elementary school and then stopped.

You miss them.

No matter how awkward and weird our conversation was it was still nice to be talking with her again. Even though it was awkward and weird. It was the 'easy' kind of awkward and weird. Is that a real thing? Maybe I was hallucinating the whole conversation after hitting my head on the floor.

She's still walking away! Stop thinking! Say something! Be cool! Like her!

"Bye Moze."

Whoops. Not like that.

I can't catch a break today. I didn't mean to call her by her nickname. The nickname was almost synonymous with our relationship. There was too much baggage behind it. It wasn't fair to her. Irresponsible.

Now I was panicking.

She stopped walking. It was silent for a moment. The back of my head still hurt. It was a mistake! I'll just-

"Nobody calls me that anymore." She talked at a low volume with her back still to me.

"Look uh…" I tried to get something out.

She turned around to face me. The sunlight was casting her face in red color.

I'm sure it was the sunlight.

She was smiling. I couldn't speak. I think my mouth fell open a little bit.

"It was nice." She gave me a little wave and jogged away toward the gym.

I needed to fix it.

I needed to fix everything.

The sunlight was starting to dim as I stood in the middle of the hallway by myself surrounded by what remained of the chair on the ground at my feet.

I should get some ice for my head.

X X X

The mood in the hallway was a bit less energetic than it had been the first two days of school.

Was it late enough in the week people were starting to understand just how much school year they have left? The 'tired' atmosphere of the school was a weird counterbalance to my early morning energy

I didn't sleep very much the night before. Thinking about the day before kept me awake into the very early hours of the morning.

The last part of the day in particular.

The weird thing was, I rolled out of bed in the morning feeling more awake than I had in the last several months. I spent most of my morning digging in my closet at home for my middle school backpack. I found it minutes before I needed to be outside for the bus.

My entire first class was spent thinking more about yesterday. I was so in my head I almost didn't notice when the bell rang at the end of the class. It didn't matter. I was still one of the first people out of the room when the class was dismissed. I had missions to accomplish.

It didn't look like Cookie was at his locker when I looked in that direction. This was for the best. I didn't have time to hear about how his date went with Lisa yesterday and still do what I needed to do.

The hallway was getting crowded. I was going to have to work fast. Students moving down the hallway were slowing down around Cookie's locker and talking about something.

I saw what they were talking about when I got closer. Students were stepping around the pieces of the chair I exploded yesterday still on the ground.

Where Moze and I had talked.

Most of the students were stepping around the pieces of the chair but others were kicking them around as they walked through. Man. There isn't a janitor in this place.

Seeing the remains of the chair on the ground gave me a funny feeling.

I didn't like it.

I wasn't sure why, but when I got there I started collecting the parts of the chair strung around the hallway floor. Other students walking around the area were giving me weird looks. What am I doing? It took a couple of minutes but I was pretty sure I had every last screw and shard of plastic from the chair.

I put them in my backpack, fitting them in there as well as I could. I was working the pieces around what textbooks I carried in the bag and… what I retrieved this morning. The chair was obliterated, so it all fit. That didn't mean it looked pretty. My backpack had a… unique shape with the cair inside. Chair legs sticking out between zippers and everything.

Oh well, it's going to have to work.

I didn't have an endgame in mind right now for the pieces of the chair. I just didn't want it on the ground. Some of the students in the hall watched my whole 'collecting a busted chair and shoving it into your backpack like a crazy person' episode and were looking at me with some concern.

It wasn't bothering me for some reason. There was still some time before Mr. Rogue's class.

I could do this.

I began charging down the hallway. Other students were eyeballing me as I rudely pushed around and between them. I was sure my backpack with chair parts sticking out of it wasn't helping the situation. Again, the other students' irritated reactions weren't bothering me like before. I had a mission.

Our high school wasn't large and making it to the area I needed to didn't take too much time. Rushing through people with detached chair legs sticking out of my backpack might have helped the situation as well.

It was unusual for me to be in this part of the school during the morning. Where was Suzie's locker again? I needed to speak with her.

I slowed down and started scanning the hallway between students still not at their classroom yet. She was still digging through her locker replacing textbooks and other locker business when I found her. Thank goodness she was by herself.

I didn't know if I would have the guts to talk to her if she had been surrounded by a pack of girls. Or guys. A pack of friends.

I walked up to her. She hadn't noticed me yet. "Suzie."

She stopped locker business and stood up straight. She still hadn't turned around. "Go away, Ned. I'm not talking to you."

"I know. I know. I'll leave you alone after this. I promise." I was more out of breath than I thought. I was out of breath. I guess the speedy trip through the hallway took more out of me. "But I had to talk to you. You see... you see... you were right!" Still out of breath.

She turned around. She was wearing white-framed glasses today.

They looked nice.

"You were right and-"

"Ned, what is in your backpack?"

I guess my backpack complete with chair parts on my back was distracting to her. The chatter down the hallway was starting to get louder. "It's a chair. That's not important."

"You have a chair in your backpack?"

"Yeah. It was broken."

"Obviously it's broken, Ned. Why do you have it?"

Why did I have it? "Uh. It was on the floor."

"It was on the floor?!"

"Yes."

"You realize that doesn't explain anything right?"

"The chair isn't important Suzie!? I'm saying you were right! Yesterday! About everything!"

"The broken chair isn't important so you put it in your backpack?"

"The chair isn't part of this! It's unrelated. I'm trying to apologize to you!"

"You're apologizing right now?"

"I'm trying to! You keep talking about the chair!"

"Ned, you're the one who walked up to me with, like, a broken chair in your bag. You didn't think I would have a few questions?"

"For someone who's 'not talking to me,' you seem to have a lot of questions about the broken chair!"

"You're the one who decided to bother me, Ned. Are you done yet?"

She slammed her locker shut. None of this was going as planned.

The talking in the hallway around us continued to get louder. I didn't look away from Suzie. I hoped everyone wasn't talking about us.

She turned back to me. Then she moved like she was going to walk away. I needed to say what I came here to tell her.

"Look I'm sorry. About this. About everything. You were right!" Attempting to apologize to her brought my thoughts to an old notebook nestled in my backpack between textbooks and parts of a chair.

I wasn't sure why.

She faced me. "Ned."

I couldn't read the expression on her face. Was she trying to find the right thing to say? She paused. "Just leave me alone." She walked away from me down the hall toward the stairs leading to our English class.

Okay, that was a lot of buildup for devastation. I knew I should just listen to what she said but I decided to follow her. What she said yesterday… it was...

I needed her to know.

"Suzie! I'm sorry! I was wrong and you're right! I have been different!" I said, walking next to her as I spoke. My backpack was starting to get heavy with the chair debris inside. Whose idea was it to carry around the broken chair?

"Ned! I told you I don't care! You don't get to decide when I should accept your apol-" Suzie cut herself off and looked forward. We came to a stop outside a growing gathering of students. This must have been the loud noise the whole time during our conversation.

A couple of big guys from the football team were around Loomer. Just like the morning before. They looked like they were enjoying whatever they were doing based on the expression on their faces. Loomer had a locker open behind him and was turned toward the big guys. Bigger than him.

I thought bullying in high school had evolved to more subtle, hurtful tactics. With Loomer, I guessed I was wrong.

"Hey, buddy! Can you believe it? I almost wore the same leather jacket this morning! That would have been soooo embarrassing." The football bully boy senior that was bugging Loomer yesterday had his arm around him pretending to his friend.

The senior's friends must have thought this was the funniest thing they've ever heard. Nothing else could explain the obnoxious laughter ringing through the halls.

Loomer's locker is here. This was why Bully McFootballmen was in this area yesterday.

Suzie was distracted by whatever Loomer was dealing with as I was connecting obvious dots. "Just like last year. Every morning." She sighed.

The crowd of students was muttering with each other. No doubt waiting to hear what other things our wonderful seniors would say about Loomer's leather jacket. Or anything else they deemed 'uncool.' Didn't these people have classes to go to?

"Wait, these guys bother Loomer every day?" I asked Suzie. I supposed I would get to my 'apologize to Suzie mission' later.

"I just said that? It sucks. He, like, won't even let me help. Even when we were together he wouldn't let me say anything. They... would stop if I said something." It seemed Suzie was like... half talking to herself.

It was almost like she forgot I was standing next to her.

I looked from Suzie's concerned face back to Bully McFootballmen and Loomer's situation. This was happening every morning? Why wasn't Loomer saying anything about it?

Well.

Who would Loomer say anything to? His two closest friends Jerry and Buzz were in like one class with him. He and I were together more in high school but it's not like our relationship was anything more than 'acquaintances.' He and Suzie broke up over the summer. I've seen him more with Martin Qwerly and Coconut Head and it's not like those two don't have their issues…

McFootballmen continued to heckle Loomer, playing to laughs from the surrounding students. I think some fellow sophomores were snickering with the upperclassmen in this gathering. How quickly they were to turn on their own in exchange for social approval.

Suzie could be right. If she said something the senior may start leaving Loomer alone. Straight teenage boys do whatever a pretty teenage girl tells them to do. Usually. I'll cite myself as the primary source for that conclusion.

Suzie's strategy could also be a problem though. Her helping Loomer and fighting his battles for him could damage his 'tough guy' persona he cares so much about. Suzie being a girl would make matters worse too. It shouldn't but it would. Moze and I had similar… anyway.

It was clear why Loomer asked her not to get involved.

Bully McFootballmen started offering Loomer literal money in exchange for burning his jacket. A deal Loomer would never take based on the fear in his eyes. He would hate the thought of his prized jacket being destroyed.

I guess seeing the same jacket on Loomer since middle school had numbed most people in our grade to his fashion sense but the seniors have become obsessed. Or maybe it was just an easy target?

"Ugh. So stupid!" Suzie stomped her foot on the ground. She adjusted her glasses, turned around, and started stomping away down the hall in the other direction. Suzie's outburst startled me out of my thoughts.

I continued to watch McFootballmen embarrass Loomer in front of a captivated audience. I couldn't tell who I hated more in this situation. The laughing idiots or the senior who was so bored he was making it Loomer's problem. This was going on for a long amount of time.

My mind went to the notebook in my backpack nestled between the heavy parts of a chair again.

…

If I got involved and said something to the senior asshole it would create the same issues Suzie getting involved would create. Not that anything I would say would carry the same weight as anything Suzie would say to this senior football player.

It wasn't like Loomer's 'tough guy' persona wasn't already in shambles. I mean Coconut Head was standing up for him yesterday. I guessed Coconut Head was also getting pestered by this big guy though. Maybe that made a difference to Loomer.

...

I would have to be careful.

Whatever I did couldn't embarrass Loomer. That would just make the situation worse.

I also didn't want to embarrass myself. In front of all these sportspeople.

My imagination jumped to Moze's 'embarrassed of Ned' face surrounded by her new tall, maybe as tall as she was, attractive friends, laughing at me.

This was going to be difficult. I was running out of time.

"Loomer!" I yelled in his direction. A large portion of the crowd standing around watching the situation looked my way. Loomer turned his head away from Bully McFootballmen toward my direction with a confused look on his face.

So much for not standing out.

"There you are!" I faked irritation. I have to commit now. I walked through the gathering of students to Loomer's side. I could feel the students looking at the chair parts sticking out of my backpack. So much for not embarrassing myself. "Where have you been!?"

"Uh… what?" Loomer said with a dumbfounded look.

"Have you just been here the whole time?!"

"What the hell Bigby?"

"Mr. Rogue is pissed. He sent me to get you. He needed you for that thing in class early today."

That thing? I couldn't believe that was the most specific lie I could come up with. I guess it was short notice.

"What are you talking about loser?" I was getting irritated. I couldn't believe he was getting mad at me. I'm trying to help you, moron! With my back to Bully McFootballmen, I gave Loomer the 'just go with it' brief wide-eyed look. "Why are you looking at me like that you freak?"

Wow, Loomer was an idiot.

I was just going to chalk Loomer's particular brand of idiocy up to his fragile emotional state from being teased before I walked up. He was too guarded right now for subtlety. Ugh. Why did he have to make this harder than it already was going to be?

"I can't believe you forgot. Wow. Wouldn't want to be you, Loomer. He seemed seconds away from coming down here to get you himself. That's why he sent me."

I turned to McFootball. McFootballmen? McFootballmen. "You know how Mr. Rogue gets," I said to sell the lie to the humongous senior. I raised my eyebrows while talking to the football senior like we had some sort of friendship.

The football player looked like he was buying it so far. Not the friendship. The lie about Mr. Rogue. The crowd around us started to disperse as soon as I mentioned a teacher's name.

"W-what?" Loomer's confusion was starting to boil over. I had to end this fast. Loomer wasn't cooperating.

"He sent me here a while ago. So he's on his way now."

Either Bully McFootballmen (man?) didn't want to stay around for the fake teacher threat or he was getting bored of the conversation. Now that his audience was starting to leave.

"See ya later freak. Maybe Rogue wants to confiscate your girly jacket." The huge senior walked a couple of steps with his entourage of friends and then turned around again. He looked at me."What's with your backpack?"

I needed to show confidence. "Oh, there's a broken chair in there." I was thinking about something else important in there too but he didn't need to know about that.

I turned around to Loomer. I wasn't going to let the conversation continue beyond that point. You can't give these guys anything. Loomer only showed these guys talking about his jacket bothered him once. Here we were.

"Are you going to hurry up and get out of here Loomer?" I asked him through gritted teeth. I was keeping my back in the direction of the football players. I hoped they were gone by this point.

He shut his locker and yanked his backpack up around one shoulder and started walking in the direction of the stairs leading to Mr. Rogue's class. I walked along with him.
The football seniors were gone. Most of the students were gone by this point. Just stragglers running to class here and there. Everything was starting to quiet down.

"So what is this thing Rogue wants? I don't remember him telling me about it." Loomer asked me after a few moments of silence.

Wow, Loomer was an idiot.

"Loomer. Rogue didn't send me to get you. I was lying."

"Huh?"

"I made it up. So that dumbass would go away."

He looked puzzled at first but it all seemed to be coming together in his brain. I made sure to turn away and look forward down the hall as we walked.

"I didn't need you to do that Bigby," Loomer said through gritted teeth. In my peripheral vision, I saw him stop walking. Did we have to go through this?

I turned around to face him. We were right outside the stairs leading to the second floor and Mr. Rogue's classroom. "Yeah, you look like you had it all handled for the second morning in a row. I guess you and that big guy are the closest of friends." I wasn't trying to hide the irritation from my voice.

I didn't even want to help Loomer in the first place. I was getting tired of him making this situation more difficult than it needed to be.

"Shut up loser!"

What I enjoyed about my conversations with Billy Loomer was the thoughtful back and forth.

"Here's a question. If you are catching so much garbage from assholes because of the leather jacket why do you still wear it, Loomer?" I asked. My voice was angrier than I intended.

He glared at me. He still wasn't moving. "Because I like it!"

…

I was caught off guard for a second by him yelling.

...

He was right.

Why should he have to take off his ridiculous jacket? Just yesterday I was thinking about how taking off the jacket and standing out less would make his life easier. Well. If that's not what he wanted why should he have to change?

He was being more true to himself than I was. I gave up and buried one of my primary hobbies when I got just a whiff of resistance. I literally had to dig it up from my closet this morning.

"Sorry. You're right. It's none of my business." I looked away from him down the hall. The hallway was almost empty. The class was about to start.

"Just leave me alone Bigby."

I was getting told that a lot in the last two days.

Loomer started walking up the stairs. I started walking up a few feet behind him. Carrying the chair parts was more difficult going up the stairs. We had almost made it to the top.

That's when the bell signaling the beginning of class rang throughout the school.

My mind filled with panic. "Aghhhh!" I grunt-screamed in frustration.

"What?!" My noise must have startled Loomer.

"Nothing. I just wasn't supposed to be late to English class again."

This looked like it cheered Loomer up. Suzie was going to kill me. Oh, wait. She isn't talking to me anymore. I was reminded of my failed apology.

"Ha hah hah! Rogue's gonna have a field day with you!"

Oh yeah, that's right. Rogue said he had a 'punishment' lined up. It was probably just detention or an essay or something. They would all be a waste of my time.

Would I have been late if I hadn't involved myself in Loomer's situation with Bully McFootballmen? Probably not.

After a sigh from me, we started walking down the second-floor hallway to Rogue's classroom. I thought I would ask Loomer something now that he was in a better mood due to my misfortune.

"Why that jacket though? It's the same one since middle school. Why not replace it? Isn't it starting to get a little small?"

Loomer looked like he was thinking. It was an easy to identify expression on his face because you didn't see it very often. "If I change the jacket he will think it's just because he told me to." He told me. The stairs were empty

...

Loomer was in a tough position.

What's the best way to survive? Being true to yourself and who you want to be, leather jacket included, then getting teased about it every day? Or giving the assholes the satisfaction and becoming someone different, faking it, and flying under the radar without getting teased?

Even if Loomer wanted to change his look McFootballmen would think it was because of his bullying. It was a lose-lose situation. I thought about the conclusion I came to yesterday about this same subject.

Loomer changing himself like this aside from giving the asshole satisfaction wouldn't solve anything. He would just be creating disposable relationships. He still wouldn't be fitting in. Not in the way that 'mattered.'

What would it say about him if he changed something important about himself just to meet the will of everyone else? Even if it was a dumb leather jacket? This line of thought was hitting uncomfortably close to home.

To the notebook in my backpack.

Just yesterday I was so certain about the best way to survive school. I was sure about what would create 'disposable relationships.' I was certain their temporary nature made them useless. Something had changed since yesterday though.

I wasn't sure I knew anything.

Man. High school.

All the adults and older siblings are quick to meet your problems and challenges with a dismissive 'It's just high school' or 'it's not that big of a deal.' Or the always helpful 'you won't even remember these people anyway.'

I wonder if they felt the same way when they were in high school?

We were at the door to Mr. Rogue's classroom now. I began to brace myself for a Rogue rant of epic proportions. Right before we were about to walk in late to the class, Loomer started talking.

"Hey, Bigby."

"Yeah?" I turned and looked at him.

He had a serious expression on his face.

"What's with your backpack? Is that a broken chair?"

X X X

"What the hell is in your backpack Bigby? Is that a broken chair?"
As expected, Mr. Rogue was screaming his lungs out at me. My backpack full of useless chair pieces seemed to distract him from his long rant about my tardiness for a moment though.

"You know what? I don't care." I guess he decided my cargo wasn't important to him almost as fast as he was distracted by it. Wouldn't want to take time out of making an example of his two worst students.

I wasn't alone in getting lit up by a teacher this time. He was spending equal time yelling at me and Loomer in front of the whole class.

Cool. I was the freak carrying around a broken chair and getting screamed at in front of the entire class. I kept my eyes facing Rogue. I didn't want to look at the rest of the class.

Mr. Rogue started laughing to himself. "You know... You know... I was almost certain you would be on time after I threatened you with punishment yesterday for you know… being late again!"

What did I do to deserve this? (Besides being late and missing most of my homework last year.) He took a deep breath. I looked at the clock. He had been yelling for a while already.

"I'm not going to waste any more of class time on you two skidmarks."

Skidmarks?

I was following my 'don't fight back' rule with Mr. Rogue. I hadn't said a peep yet. I agreed with what he just said too. Loomer and I had been standing in front of the class getting ranted at too long. Long ago I had felt my face become red.

Also, was it hot in here?

"Bigby, you and Loomer here are going to meet me here in this classroom after school. Now get your seats. I'm tired of looking at you!" He turned away toward the dry-erase board in the front of the class.

Rogue was probably talking about 'the punishment' he threatened yesterday.

"What? Do we have detention?" I guess Loomer wasn't familiar with the 'don't fight back' rule in Rogue's classroom.

Rogue turned around and walked up to Loomer obnoxiously. "Oh, you wish it was detention. You wish! It isn't quite that simple buddy! Maybe you should have just done what I told you to do!"

"But you didn't tell me I would be punished! Just Bigby!" Loomer was pleading now.

"It's incredible you think you rank so high above Ned Bigby in this class! I can't get you to pay attention in this class with your two idiot friends over there always next to you!" Rogue gestured to where Jerry and Buzz were sitting.

I looked over there. They seemed like they were enjoying the Rogue rant until they were called out. Then they had a look of fear on their faces.

"B-but…"

Wow, Loomer was an idiot.

"Loomer just sit down," I interjected, already walking to my seat. I had enough embarrassment for one morning. To Loomer's credit, it looked like he took my advice. He was following me to our 'neighborhood' of desks.

"You should listen to your friend and sit down!" Rogue yelled as we were finding our seats. Again, this was in front of everyone.

Most of the people in the class looked like they were in a weird place where they didn't know whether to laugh or be awkward about this whole scene.

I was careful as I lowered my backpack to the ground. Didn't want to make even more noise for the classroom. It still made a mortifying clanking noise when the legs of the chair that were poking out of the bag made contact with the ground.

Cool.

I caught Suzie's eyes right before I sat down. Maybe I was expecting a look of anger. Or maybe a look of indifference after our fight yesterday. Instead, it looked like she was just confused. She was staring back and forth between Loomer and I. Maybe like she was trying to figure something out?

Mr. Rogue started his lesson and was talking now. I looked forward to the front of the class. I wasn't going to risk trying to talk to Suzie again in class. Plus she was being pretty clear about what she wanted to hear from me. Nothing.

It was hard to pay attention to the class. It was always hard to pay attention to the class. As my embarrassment started to settle down, and my classmates got bored of looking in my direction, I began thinking again.

I went into today with a mission. Several missions. Maybe the blow to my head yesterday motivated me. Maybe it was Suzie tearing me down and being right. Or maybe it was talking to Moze for the first time in months. I didn't know.

It didn't matter. Today was a complete failure so far. Between failing to tell Suzie what I needed to, embarrassing myself with a bag of chair parts, interfering with Loomer's situation with a large bully, and doing the one thing Mr. Rogue told me not to, I was carving a path of destruction almost equal to yesterday.

Also, I was going to have to live in anticipation of what Mr. Rogue's 'punishment' could be for the rest of the day.

At least today couldn't get any worse right?

X X X

I can't believe I forgot about the field trip.

The field trip to the sewage plant. I figured that would have stood out in my mind. It wasn't something forgettable.

Our entire class was filing onto a bus behind the school that would take us to the 'wastewater treatment facility.' I was one of the last students on the bus, so most of the seats on the bus were taken.

"Hurry up class! We don't have a lot of time here so we need to get moving. Isn't this just a blast?" Edison seemed excited to show us where our feces ended up.

We were able to leave our bags in the classroom. So the weird looks I was getting all day so far had toned down. A little bit.

I walked down the center aisle of the school bus taking in the distinct 'school bus smell.' Most of the students were settling in their seats with people they wanted to socialize with on the way to the poop factory. Alex Freshman was sitting by himself. Maybe this will be a good opportunity to-

He turned away and scooted to a position where it was obvious I wasn't supposed to sit there as I walked by his seat.

Well. I don't like where that's going.

I moved on, passing between Missy and a couple of other girls sitting in a row. I thought I overheard the words 'chair and 'backpack' as I walked by. I knew they were watching me pass. Looks like I wasn't out of the woods when it came to the broken chair ridicule. What was I doing with that thing anyway?

When I passed their row, I looked back and Missy and the girls were all staring. Then they giggled and looked away. Not the kind of giggle that gave you butterflies in your stomach. The kind that made me want to jump out the window of the bus. While it was moving.

Well. I don't like where that's going.

I kept walking forward and trying to avoid letting my face get red. I noticed Suzie and Loomer in a seat with each other when I was almost at the back of the bus. Her back was to me. Well, as much as someone's back could be to anyone on a school bus seat. I couldn't tell what she was saying but Loomer was looking at me while she was saying it.

I walked right by and Suzie quieted down long enough for me to pass by. I kept going until I arrived at the seat in the very back of the school bus. I couldn't believe it wasn't taken already.

When I turned around to sit I could see that Suzie had resumed speaking to Loomer. He continued to look back at me while she spoke to him. I couldn't read the expression on his face. It was like confusion and concern all rolled into one. It was none of my business what she was talking to him about but... it sure felt like it was my business.

Well. I really don't like where that's going.

X X X

Touring the 'wastewater treatment facility was about what anyone would expect.

We got to see poopy water at various stages of being 'cleaned' and prepared for consumption again by the locals. I'm sure I wasn't the only one in our class who could've gone without ever thinking about how our water gets made.

I wasn't paying close attention but we've been drinking the same water we've been defecating into this whole time.

The plant consisted of a couple of buildings and several large white, building-sized cylinders containing the water being cleaned. It may have contained other stuff I wasn't paying attention to. I do know the cylinders were open at the top and we could see gross liquid stuff happening.

At one point we walked on a catwalk thing that acted as a bridge over the grossness. I had to make extra sure not to trip and fall off of the catwalk into the sludge. That would've been all I needed.

Anyway, none of this was important.

What was important was that Loomer and Suzie seemed to have some sort of disagreement on the bus. Now, they were avoiding each other as we were guided through the entire facility as a group. Maybe whatever they were talking about earlier wasn't about me.

Maybe they broke up again. Wait, were they even together right now?

Completing the dysfunctional class dynamic was Alex Freshman avoiding me. As the only freshman in the class and a wiry, skinny guy, he stood out among the other students.

He looked super bummed out and depressed from the glances I was able to steal of him without him noticing. Every time he would catch me looking he would look away fast and walk as far away from me as he could.

He was also walking weirdly. I didn't know what that was about.

We were being guided by a… rotund man named Speedy or something? Seely? Steely? I didn't remember.

Whatever his name was, he sounded like he was just as bored with the sewage treatment plant as most of the students in the class seemed to be. Mrs. Edison tried to interject her 'water cycle' lessons between riveting explanations of wastewater treatment steps, but it wasn't helping.

At least it wasn't raining. Most of the facility was outdoors so walking in the rain and learning about poop would've been way worse.

"Ah, shit!" Mr. Speedy said all of a sudden when we all came to a stop in a grassy area somewhere in the middle of the plant. I wondered if the pun was intended.

"What's the matter, darling?" Edison asked our guide.

He reached a… portly hand to his head and began scratching. "I've gotta… you know what, stay here for a sec. I'll be right back." He started walking back to one of the main buildings in the distance.

Did he just leave us here?

"Well alrighty then! We'll just wait here for a tiny bit before the gentleman returns to show us the last parts of the facility!" Mrs. Edison said, taking the quick interruption to her lesson in stride. "Everyone relax and behave!"

We were in a patch of grass but still in the middle of these giant cylinder things and other sewage plant doohickeys.

The people in the class started mingling with each other and wandering around a short distance from our group making as many poop jokes as they could. Mrs. Edison walked up to Missy and Seth and started asking her if she was taking mental notes for a written report.

Shit. (No pun intended.) Were we going to have to write a report on this trip? Yet another thing I had to keep track of. I haven't been paying attention this whole field trip!

I looked around at our class. Maybe I could use this break as an opportunity to follow up with Alex. I needed to apologize to him too. Not just Suzie. I was crazy yesterday. He already knew I was crazy, but he should know at least I felt bad about it.

The problem was I couldn't seem to find him anywhere. He must have wandered off with someone else. They must have been investigating the poop factory with less supervision. I guess nothing is going to go as planned today.

Speaking of failed plans.

Suzie was standing by herself. She was in her 'avoid Loomer' mode. She had her arms crossed and looked like she was zoning out and staring at one of the towers in the plant. Meanwhile, Loomer was with Coconut Head appearing to be discussing climbing one of the cylinders full of poop. Or was it full of clean water? I didn't remember.

Suzie told me to leave her alone.

I needed her to know though. I needed her to understand she was right about me yesterday. Maybe, without the backpack full of chair pieces, she would listen to me.

Moving in her direction, I tried to be cheerful. "Funny seeing you here! Small world!" Nice. Real smooth idiot.

Suzie didn't look at me. For a bit, the only sounds were sewage plant sounds, students talking with each other, and Mrs. Edison's voice.

"Why were you late to class today Ned?" She was still looking at a 'wastewater treatment facility' tower of some sort a few yards away from us. "We were together like right before class. Where did you go?" She hadn't looked at me yet.

Shit. (No pun intended.) Loomer wouldn't want Suzie knowing I had to get involved to make Bully McFootballmen leave him alone this morning. "Uh…"

She turned to me. I looked down at her eyes. The sunlight was reflecting off of her glasses. "I… guess I just lost track of time." I managed to say. I couldn't help it when I glanced over at Loomer and Coconut Head's discussion when I spoke.

Suzie followed my eyes to where Loomer was standing and then faced me again.

Maybe she wouldn't connect the dots.

Her face didn't give away what she was thinking. "So… you were trying to say sorry to me this morning? Why?"

I couldn't tell if she was angry or not. It was kinda scary. Oh well. I couldn't chicken out. I was finally getting my chance!

"Yes! Suzie, you're righ-"

"Okay, class! Our guide gentleman is here now. Gather around!" Mrs. Edison's timing was awful as per usual. "Continue to show him the utmost respect dears!"

I looked over at Edison, Mr. Speedy, and the rest of the class gathered a few feet away. I turned my head back in Suzie's direction.

I had to continue. "Anyway Suzie…"

"Not now. Later Ned." Suzie stopped me. She was looking me in the eyes. Then she walked away and joined the now moving class. It looked like our guide Mr. Speedy was taking the class in the direction we arrived. Maybe the idiotic trip was almost over.

I wondered if Moze and Cookie were having fun on their trip to the recycling center. It at least smelled better right?

'Not now. Later Ned.'

What she said had to be a step up from 'Don't talk to me Ned.'

...right?

X X X

It turns out Mr. Speedy was leading our class to where we arrived.

The field trip looked like it was wrapping up. I didn't know whether to be glad this bore-fest was over or terrified that I was getting closer to Mr. Rogue's punishment.

He said it wasn't detention so I didn't know what to expect. Writing the same sentence over and over?

The whole class was waiting on the school bus to pick us up from this poopy prison. We were standing in a group in the gravel driveway. Where did the school bus go during the field trip? I didn't know. You would think they could've just stayed and saved us some time.

I was standing next to Coconut Head and Loomer. They were talking about how the sewage plant smelled the whole time. I think Loomer was talking about 'poop monsters' or something. Most of the other students were talking about similar stuff as well.

Edison was talking to Missy about sewage and how she once had a student poop themselves in class. Seth, who was standing next to Missy, seemed wildly uncomfortable.

As engaging as Edison's subject matter was, I wasn't paying attention. Mr. Rogue's after-school appointment was looming large in my mind.

There was no way the punishment was going to be as bad as Rogue made it sound right? He said I wouldn't like the punishment. That didn't narrow it down. I didn't like anything to do with him.

The bus was coming down the gravel driveway to the sewage plant kicking up dust as I continued to stew about what I would be dealing with in a few hours.

"All right young people! Make sure everyone is here and let's get to the bus!" Mrs. Edison's story about the former students must have finished.

I looked around. Suzie was still standing by herself on her phone. I'm pretty sure you weren't supposed to have those out in class. Was a field trip technically class? I didn't know. I guess there was going to be a written report so it must count as class.

Coconut Head and Loomer were nudging each other around and laughing as they walked toward the bus. Seth and Missy looked relieved to be free of Edison and were rushing as fast as they could to the school bus. The doors on the bus flew open.

Something was bugging me. I started walking a little behind the rest of the class as we headed to the school bus.

Wait. Someone was missing.

Where was Alex? Alex the Freshman? He wasn't in the group of students now stepping onto the school bus. Wait. I didn't think he was there during the last part of the tour. I turned around toward the main office building. He wasn't there. At least outside of it.

"Hey!" I yelled toward the last of the class getting on the bus. "Hey, where's Alex?!"

...

Nothing. Nobody was paying attention. They kept getting on the bus. Edison seemed to already be on the bus itself. I couldn't tell with the tinted windows. Wasn't there some sort of system in place to prevent leaving students like this?

I turned around and looked at the main office building. He didn't have any friends in this class and we all just lost track of him I guess. Where had I last seen him? Was it when the tour guide took a poorly disguised bathroom break and we stood in the middle of the plant?

No, I couldn't find him then. That was when I talked to Suzie.

He was avoiding and walking away from me at one point before then. He was walking weird too.

Wait. Bathroom break! Walking weird! Did he need to go to the bathroom and walk off? Was he walking weird due to digestive complications? Did he get lost?

I exhaled. I was the last one not on the bus.

Well, I guess I will go into the main office and look for him. Everyone else is on the bus. Maybe they'll notice me leave.

Sure enough, as I turned around and started running to the main office I heard the school bus honk at me. Wow, that was loud! I turned around facing the bus and waved. I mouthed the name 'Alex' and continued running into the main office of the building. Maybe they would understand what that meant.

Everyone on that bus is so angry right now.

I could just hear what the idiots on the bus were saying. 'Likeeee. What's with Ned latelyyyy. He's such a weirdoooo. First the screaming in class, then the broken chair, now thisssss.' The thing was... they weren't wrong. I had looked like a freakshow over the last two days. It's almost like the chaos of my Polk Middle School life.

The class still forgot Alex Freshman. I screamed at him during class yesterday but at least I remembered he existed before we left him at a sewage plant.

I tried not to trip over my own feet running through the door of the main office. I wanted to find him fast. The front desk had nobody sitting there to ask for help. The whole room had wood paneling on the walls and a distinct 'old man vibe.' Calendars with tractors on them. 'Gone fishin' coffee mugs. You know the vibe.

I couldn't believe there was no one at the front desk. I wondered if the 'workers' of the facility were the ones who run the phones around here. Maybe it was their lunch hour? I didn't know. We took a tour of this place and they didn't give us any information of actual value!

I looked around for a bathroom. This had to be the only place with a bathroom in the whole sewage plant. It's not like the employees were going outside. I went down a hallway to the side of the desk and the door to a marked restroom was closed.

I knocked.

"Hello?"

There. That was Alex's voice. He left without telling anyone and was still in the bathroom when it was time to leave. What a freshman.

"Alex? It's Ned."

"..."

"Alex? Hello? The bus is about to leave?" Maybe once he realized it was me he was gonna ignore me.

He was still mad about my explosion of anger yesterday.

"...I'm stuck." He replied.

"Stuck?" I took a step back from the door. He was in a bathroom. I was sure he could be talking about any number of things. Things I didn't want to be a part of.

"Stuck?" I said again. My voice was filled to the brim with caution.

"Yeah, the door won't open. I've tried everything…"

"Oh!" Don't forget to hide the relief in your voice. "The door!" I walked up to the door and tried to turn the knob. It wouldn't move. "Did you unlock it?"

"Uh… yeah that was the first thing I tried." His muffled voice from the other side of the door sounded like I was asking him a dumb question. I'm not the one stuck in a bathroom smart guy.

This time anyway.

I pushed as hard as I could against the door to the bathroom. "Argh… just making sure." I said between breaths. Man the door wouldn't open.

"Hey! What are you doing here kid?!" I heard a yell from down the short hallway near the front desk. Mr. Speedy, or whatever his name was, had walked in. He might have heard the bus honking outside earlier. I guess the situation did look weird. I was throwing my shoulder against the door to the bathroom.

I looked over at Mr. Speedy, or whatever his name was, walking in my direction with a look of irritation.

"Someone from my class is stuck in there. He says the door won't open." I said. I was trying to subvert any anger from the sewage plant guy heading in my direction.

He stopped charging down the hall toward the bathroom and had a look of understanding. "Oh! Yeah, piece of junk does that sometimes. I'm gonna have to fetch my wife. She knows how to deal with the bathroom door when it does this shit." Was the pun intended?

Mr. Speedy turned around and walked out the door of the main office. I guess to 'fetch his wife' or whatever. I wondered if she worked here.

Our other classmates on the bus and maybe even Mrs. Edison were probably losing their minds right now. I guess I'll keep Alex Freshman company while we wait for Speedy's wife to 'deal with' the door.

"Did you hear that? The guy's gonna get his wife to get you out." I talked through the door.

"...yeah," Alex replied from inside the restroom.

I leaned on the wall next to the door and tried to talk a little louder so Alex could hear through the door. "The bus almost left you here you know. Why didn't you tell anyone you went to the bathroom?"

"..."

"Alex?" Was he back to avoiding me?

"It was embarrassing." He told me after a long silence. His voice sounded more distanced than before. Defeated. Was he across the room now? Maybe he sat down?

"Seems kind of important to let someone know where you go when on a field trip. You should have at least had a partner or something you told before breaking away from the group. Maybe Mrs. Edison?" It was almost like I was lecturing him. "Also, it is important to make sure you visit the bathroom before leaving for a field trip." This whole situation was bringing back a familiar feeling.

"I didn't want anyone to know. I didn't want to tell anyone. I don't know anyone anyway." He was still quiet. "Then I got lost looking for the bathroom. When I found it this happened."

I just told him he could have told the teacher. Well I guess Edison might have broadcasted it to the entire class anyway. Maybe I would change the subject. I wouldn't get into whether or not he had a cell phone on him to just call for help.

"You know I was trapped in a bathroom once."

"What?" He sounded confused.

"Yeah. It was the girl's bathroom. When I was five." It's happened a few times since then too.

"The girl's bathroom?" His voice sounded louder through the door then. I wondered if he was standing closer?

"Once I was in there I didn't know how to get out. My next-door neighbor Moze… uh Jennifer Mosely saved me. You might remember her from middle school. We were hung out all the time then."

"Yeah, the tall girl that helped you with the Guide!" His voice had more energy now. Like he had forgotten his predicament.

"Yeah one of the other times I got stuck in the girl's bathroom a teacher had to get me out." These stories used to mortify me but I kinda had a warm feeling about them now.

"Other times?" His voice was right on the other side of the door. He sounded as if he was shocked at my misfortune.

"Yeah I was so embarrassed about it a teacher told me to start a school journal. Eventually, it became the guide." I felt my voice get quiet toward the end of my sentence. All of this was just a few years back. Yesterday, I would have never brought it up. Why did it feel so different now?

"Wow…" I heard Alex Freshman say behind the door that wouldn't open. I couldn't see his face but it was almost like he was lost in thought like I was about what said. I guess realizing you aren't the only one who can get embarrassingly stuck in a bathroom is a nice thought.

The door to the main office swung open and startled me. I stood up straight from where I was leaning on the wall.

Speedy and a lady who must have been his wife walked in and started down the short hallway in my direction. The lady had a myriad of tools in her hand and was wearing safety goggles. She had a city government shirt on like Speedy did so she had to work here.

"Give me some room sweetheart." She told me as she walked around applying whatever tool things she had to the door.

Mr. Speedy was standing against the wall with me. He was watching her as she worked. "My wife handles all the repairs around here." He wasn't able to hide the pride in his voice.

Maybe he wasn't even trying to hide it.

"Yeah because you are useless!" She shot back. Despite the harsh statement, she looked back and smiled at him.

With a loud 'pop' whatever she did to the door with her tool thingies got it open. I guess this worked better than slamming my shoulder against it a couple of times.

"There you go!" She smiled as Alex the Freshman was freed from his potty prison.

"Thank you so much!" Alex said to the woman. He walked out as fast as he could, almost running over her. He joined me at the sewage guy's side.

"You guys better get out of here! Your teacher's waiting out there looking pretty teed off." Speedy was quick to suggest.

He was right. This took forever. I was getting hungry and it was almost lunchtime. I shuddered to imagine the rage of the rest of the class still waiting on the bus. Waiting to get back to the school and their precious lunch tables.

"Thanks again!" I said, walking already while gesturing for Alex to 'hurry up and follow me.'

We ran down the short hallway to the front door. Alex was out the door quick. I turned around and looked at Speedy and his wife before I walked out. Those two seemed goofy but nice. They were standing next to each other. He was watching her work the door back and forth. He was smiling watching her test the door out or whatever she was doing.

She was a little taller than him.

My eyes adjusted to the sunlight outside, but Mrs. Edison's angry face, while she stood on the steps of the bus, came into focus fast enough.

We ran across the gravel parking lot to the bus and Mrs. Edison walked up the stairs of the bus.

"Hurry up you two. We are already here way later than planned and you boys have some explaining to do." Her voice was calmer than I expected. She told us as she walked into the aisle of the bus with Alex and me behind her. The bus driver looked extra 'teed off' as Mr. Speedy would have put it.

The bus started moving as we got on. We were standing in front of the bus now with all the other students in the class looking forward to us. I had to grab the top of a couple of the bus seats to keep from falling over as the bus moved. Jeez, the bus driver was ready to get the hell out of there.

Mrs. Edison turned and looked between Alex Freshman and me. "Well, who wants to explain this to me?" Wow, she was scary when she wanted to be.

We were both silent for a moment. When we jogged to the bus after freeing Alex I had already made the decision though. A decision to lie.

"It was my-"

"I had to go to the bathroom!" I interrupted Alex. "When I ran back into the building and found the bathroom the door got stuck. With me in there."

"B-but…" Alex was confused.

"So I was trapped in there." I continued to steamroll Alex with a louder volume. "Luckily Alex was around and got help from a couple of the employees." As I lied, I was sure to maintain eye contact with Mrs. Edison. Had to be convincing.

If anyone thought about my lie for more than a couple of seconds they would realize the timing didn't really work out though… but I had to keep going.

"That's what took us so long," I told her. With confidence.

She paused for a long while. Then she did her squinty eye thing with an evil glint. I knew I saw that look in Edison's eyes during class yesterday! I knew there was something wrong with her 'cheeriness.' I wanted to shudder out of fear but I needed to stay 'confident' for the lie.

Man, this is the second time I've had to lie to someone scarier than me today. She bought it or decided it wasn't worth questioning.

"Okay then. Find your seats." She spun around and sat down in the seat nearest the bus driver. "Make sure you two do your water cycle essays by tomorrow."

The freshman wasn't going to let me do this. He opened his mouth "No..."

I turned my head at him and gave him a quick 'stop' head shake. I hope it went unnoticed by the rest of the class on the bus.

With a few exceptions, they were all idiots so we should be fine. Alex's face got red but he must have accepted what I was trying to do. He turned around first. He had an… interesting face when he looked toward the back of the bus.

When I turned around I saw what he was looking at. The entire class was staring at me with various looks of distaste and pity. Oh and irritation. There was a lot of that too. Like I thought, they didn't like waiting for 'my' trip to the bathroom.

I hoped they all bought my lie…

Alex and I walked to separate seats near the back of the bus. I avoided all eye contact with the classmates. I did hear some snickering from some of the people as I walked by their seats.

I heard some whispers of stuff. Stuff like: 'Nice going Bigby!' 'What a freak!' 'It was probably another girl's bathroom!' As expected, it was coming from some choice members of the class.

Awesome.

Another failed mission for today. I wasn't able to apologize to Alex for blowing up on him yesterday. The field trip would have been a perfect opportunity for the apology too. I was too distracted the whole time.

Another bonus: I had to have hit Suzie's threshold for 'weird' over the last couple of days so I wasn't going to get another chance to talk to her, apologize, or look in her general direction anytime in the near future either.

Plopping down in a seat by myself, I started looking at the trees and streets passing by out the window. We were almost back to school.

I couldn't let Alex the Freshman get embarrassed for being stuck in a bathroom on a field trip to a sewage plant in a class where he already had no friends.

I had to lie.

Wouldn't want Alex tagged as the 'sewage plant bathroom guy' this early in his high school career. Teenagers are pretty mean. It would be tough for him to live that down.

I was already snowballing the destruction of whatever my reputation was at this school over the last few days with public outbursts and destroyed chairs. I could take the fall for this one.

It's not like my classmates aren't used to me being trapped in bathrooms.

X X X

"Lisa's in the bathroom right now and I need to meet her when she's done! I don't have a lot of time Ned!" Cookie was already panicked. "She's already really mad at me!"

If he had heard anything at all about my two days of complete embarrassment he didn't show it. Cookie was a better friend than I deserved. Even after all the changes over the last year, he never questioned me.

Which made the reduced amount of time we got to see each other even more upsetting.

"I know. I know. Thanks for meeting me anyway!" I had sent him a text message after my last class instructing him to meet me by his locker. We were standing near his locker but he didn't appear to need anything from it. "Today's been crazy for me too! I've got to stay after school with Mr. Rogue and Loomer!"

Students were walking by us while we talked. They were all scurrying to their after-school activities. Cookie wasn't the only one on an angry deadline. I needed to get to Mr. Rogue's classroom soon.

"Yeah, Evelyn says Rogue was out of control and like banished you or something!" He couldn't help but keep looking down the hall in the direction of the girl's bathroom as he talked. Lisa must be super angry. Which is hard for me to imagine. She's so nice.

"Jeez. What happened with Lisa? Did you get a terrible gift or something?"

"That wasn't the problem Ned! I didn't even get the opportunity to give it to her!"

"Huh?"

"I followed our plan. I got her some candy and a stuffed animal. Then I ran as fast as I could to the restaurant! I forgot to charge my phone though and ended up at the wrong restaurant!"

"Wrong restaurant?" Didn't Cookie and Lisa decide where to eat as a team or whatever?

"Lisa changed her mind and decided to meet at another place! My phone was dead and I never got the message! So I went to the wrong place and couldn't call her until I got home and by then it was too late Ned! I had stood her up Ned!" Cookie's voice was getting high and whiny again. He had a 'Cookie face' and everything.

I guess telling the story brought him back into the moment in a stressful way.

I thought about what Moze told me yesterday.

"You should have just told her the truth from the beginning. I was stupid to suggest you do things the way you did." I said as steady as I could. "I'll make it up to you somehow. I'll tell Lisa it was my fault."

"No, don't do that Ned."

"Why not?"

"This is my problem. I'll take care of it myself." I didn't normally see Cookie this serious and… responsible. I guess he had changed over the last few months. I was in a grumpy haze during that time anyway so I wouldn't have noticed.

"It's my fault though…"

"I'm the one that went along with it Ned. Plus Lisa will be okay. I just need to make sure she knows I'm sorry." Cookie was looking in the direction of the bathroom again. I was glad Lisa needed to use the facilities so we had time for this conversation. "Anyway, what did you need Ned?"

"Uh… yes! Cookie I'm-"

"Wait, Ned. Is that a broken chair in your backpack?" It took him longer than everyone else today to notice my monstrosity of a backpack complete with chair legs sticking out. I guess he hadn't heard from everyone else. I was the freak carrying around chair parts.

"Yeah, it's the broken chair from yesterday."

"So it was broken?!"

"Yeah, I sat in it."

"You sat in it?!"

"I sat in it. Cookie. You watched me do it yesterday afternoon! We talked about the chair!"

"Oh yeah."

Sometimes Cookie's attention span was impressive.

…

"The Guide is in there too."

"The Guide?! Really?" Cookie stopped looking toward the bathroom and focused on me. "I thought you were finished?"

"I don't know. I found it this morning. Something happened yesterday after the chair broke and I talked to Moze. That's why I wanted to see you before going to Rogue's punishment. I needed to-"

"You talked to Moze!?" Cookie interrupted. He was almost shouting. Students gave us a quick look as they passed by us.

"Yeah... yesterday after the chair broke. It was…?" I was the one losing focus now. I didn't know how to describe yesterday's interaction with Moze.

"Lisa will be super happy about that! She's been worried about you."

Good to know. I guessed she was tired of me being a buzzkill when I third wheeled with them over the past few months.

"Tell Lisa not to get too excited. I don't even know what yesterday was. Anyway, it made me realize how I've been acting."

I paused for a second. Cookie's eyes widened and he tilted his head.

"That's why I wanted to talk to you! I've changed ever since we got to high school. It wasn't fair to you or Moze. You guys have been with me since I was a little kid and I was an asshole. I'm sorry." I was talking super fast now. "I'm trying to fix it but it's not going well."

I didn't have any experience with how he was going to react. Cookie and I never talked about anything to do with our thoughts and feelings.

"Ned. Don't worry about it. I understand. You and Moze will figure it out."

He went back to the Lisa Bathroom Watch as he spoke. I wondered if that meant he was uncomfortable.

"I don't know about that…"

"Oh! There's Lisa! See ya, Ned! Good luck with Mr. Rogue! We'll talk about the Guide later!" He started to walk to Lisa.

"Bye Cookie…" I looked toward the hallway floor. Where I was lying yesterday. Like a weirdo.

He stopped and turned back toward me. "Ned." I looked up at him. "You don't have to say sorry to me. Have you tried telling all that to Moze though?" He shrugged and turned around and ran to Lisa.

When they reunited they looked at me down the hall. I gave Lisa a wave. She waved back with a nice smile. Lisa had a lot of patience with a spaz like Cookie. They both turned around and walked out the door at the end of the hallway.

They were holding hands.

So apologizing to Cookie was the only successful mission I accomplished today.

With the way today has gone, I half-expected Lisa to come out of the bathroom and interrupt my apology to Cookie before I had even got it out.

Trying to fix everything was hard. I never got the opportunity to apologize to Suzie for being right about me and I failed at letting Alex Freshman know I was mad about something else yesterday when I screamed at him.

I did collect the pieces of a broken chair from a hallway floor like a crazy person and carry them around all day.

I did run interference on Loomer's bully and ended up getting an after-school punishment with my least favorite teacher.

I did take the fall for getting stuck in a sewage plant bathroom, ensuring my reputation at this school was totaled.

Impressive right?

I thought about what Cookie said about Moze and me. About telling her what I told him. With the way it ended, I didn't think it was going to be that simple between us. Especially after showing Taft High School what a loser I am these past two days. Oh well. They already knew from last year anyway.

…

I had put off going to Mr. Rogue's classroom for my custom-designed punishment long enough.

Hopefully whatever the punishment was would be over quickly.

X X X

The halls were empty.

The school was out and many teachers seemed to have left for the day based on the closed classroom doors to darkened classrooms. I was on my way to face my punishment in Mr. Rogue's classroom after texting my mom and telling her I would be late this afternoon.

When I made it to the top of the stairs I saw Suzie leaning against a wall near the top of the stairwell. Her arms were crossed and she had her hair up in a bun… thing.

It looked nice.

I wondered what she was doing at school this late. Was she waiting for Loomer? Man, I can't keep track of their relationship. Her eyes were staring ahead when I walked by her. She must have been thinking about something.

I nodded my head at her in a 'hello I acknowledge you exist' motion. I decided I was late enough to my court date with Mr. Rogue I should keep moving.

She was also pretty clear about not talking to me.

I was listening to the broken chair pieces clank around in my backpack as I walked.

When Suzie saw (or heard) me pass by, she snapped out of whatever thought she seemed to be mulling over and walked in front of me, keeping me from walking forward anymore. Her eyebrows were pressed together and I wasn't sure if she was angry or not. We were standing in a position almost identical to our hallway fight yesterday.

This is happening more often with her than I would like.

"What are you doing Ned?"

I'm sure I was giving her a very confused look. "I thought you weren't talking to me?"

"Ned!" Very angry.

"Okay. Okay. You were in English today? I was tardy for like the billionth time in my high school career and Rogue's had enough?"

"Not that. What are you doing?"

"Suzie I'm going to detention or whatever the hell this is."

"I'm talking about you. What are you doing?"

This was getting repetitive. "What are you talking about Suzie?"

She stomped her foot on the ground at my confusion. "Dumbass! I just told you! I'm talking about you Ned! Like... why did you lie today?"

She was going to have to be more specific about the lying thing.

"Uh…"

"I know Ned. I made Billy tell me. You said something to the asshole who has been bothering him." She looked me in the eye. "I know you were lying about getting stuck in the bathroom on the field trip today too."

I guess this explained her weird behavior with Loomer on the bus and our conversation during the field trip. There was no use keeping anything more from her.

I sighed. "What do you want Suzie?"

"Why didn't you, like, tell Mr. Rogue why you were late? Tell him what you were doing before class?"

"What do you mean? I didn't do anything! I just distracted that bully… football… person so Loomer could walk away. It was my fault I got involved. My fault I was late again."

"You helped Billy! ...and you were trying to say sorry to me this morning."

I'm not sure… but it sounded like she was saying the last part to herself instead of me.

"Yeah, I told you that."

"Ned. You helped that freshman today too."

"Not really. It was pretty obvious what happened. I just know how embarrassing getting trapped in a bathroom can be."

"It's only obvious if you are paying attention," Suzie said at a lower volume.

"Suzie… I'm already late to Rogue's classroom." I looked around Suzie's dark hair to the clock on the hallway wall. Crap. "Look I've been trying to say sorry all day but I just don't have time right now!"

I tried to start walking around her but she sidestepped and wouldn't let me.

"What were you going to say?" She did the deadlocked eye contact thing she has been doing the last couple of days.

My mind went to the Guide nestled between chair parts in my bag. I exhaled.

I'll do the short version. "I was going to say… you helped me out a lot yesterday. I was wrong. I shouldn't have said… what I said during our fight. I have been acting stupid. You made me realize I need to fix everything." I was talking fast like when I apologized to Cookie. "Now I really need to go Suzie. We can talk more about it later."

"You need to tell Mr. Rogue why you were late. It wasn't your fault. You should've told him this morning!"

Why does she care so much? "What was I supposed to do Suzie? Embarrass Loomer in front of the entire class? Interrupt and make Rogue chew us out for even longer?!"

She broke eye contact and looked to the side. She wasn't as quick to respond to that one.

"I'm coming with you. I'll tell him."

Oh god. "Please don't Suzie. You're going to make this way worse." I was whiny-begging her now.

"He at least, like, needs to know this wasn't your fault."

"He really doesn't!"

"When I said you were different yesterday I was talking about you being depressed. Mean." She looked back at me. Her eyes were blazing fire behind her glasses. "I wanted you to help people again. Like before. Not be the fall guy for everyone else's problems! That's stupid Ned."

She spun around and started walking to Mr. Rogue's classroom. There was no way I was going to be able to stop her.

"You know? This is not how I saw this day going." I yelled at her. I knew she wouldn't care but it made me feel better.

X X X

Suzie and I barreled into Mr. Rogue's classroom after a walk-race with each other down the hall.

I wasn't going to be able to stop her from making an appearance at my 'not detention' so I needed to arrive at the same time she did to at least try to damage control.

Loomer was already waiting inside the classroom but Mr. Rogue wasn't there yet.

"Suzie!?" Loomer was sitting on top of one of the desks in the classroom. I guess the chairs weren't good enough for him.

"Billy, where is Rogue?" Suzie asked almost before he got her name out of his mouth.

"I dunno. I got here like 10 minutes ago and he never showed up. I'm just going to go home."

Loomer got up from his desk seat and walked by Suzie and I to the door of the classroom.

"Suzie! You should go too!"

"Shut up Ned!" Suzie was quick on the draw.

"Where do you think you are going Mr. Loomer?" Mr. Rogue, walking through the doorway, cut off any escape attempt Loomer was going to try. "Sorry I'm late but I had to fetch this from the main office!"

Rogue showed us a ring with a key on it. He seemed very proud of himself. I wondered if he thought we were supposed to know what the key was meant. He didn't show any sign of noticing Suzie was there. "Wow! Mr. Bigby! Good to see you are continuing to carry a broken chair around in an act of profound weirdness. I'm into it!"

"Mr. Rogue!" Suzie walked up to the teacher.

"Ms. Crabgrass? Why are you here?" Rogue looked in her direction for the first time since entering the room.

"You can't do this. This morning wasn't Ned's fault. It was Billy's! Ned was trying to stop Loomer from getting teased before class! That's why they were both late!"

I wanted to melt out of embarrassment.

"Wow. Is that so?" Mr. Rogue closed his fist around the key he was showing off and crossed his arms. I knew right away he was feigning curiosity. "Why would I care about any of that?" His tone was icy.

"Because it wasn't Ned's intention to be late!"

"Guess what Ms. Crabgrass? Even if he didn't mean to be late today, how do you explain the countless times before?! The countless missing homework assignments?! Ms. Crabgrass, Ned's punishment was a long time coming."

"Look I think Suzie is just confused." I jumped in. I didn't want to take this to a condescending place but Suzie was just making the situation worse. Like I knew she would. "I told her she shouldn't be here."

"I'm not confused you jerk!" Suzie whirled around, now focusing her rage on me. "He can't just be an asshole and punish you for no reason! He singles you out every day Ned! You say nothing every time!"

She was right again but this wasn't the time or place to bring it up. I was mortified. I couldn't bring myself to look in the direction of Mr. Rogue.

"Uh, guys… I wasn't getting teased this morning. I was fine!"

Wow, Loomer was an idiot.

"Shut up Loomer!"

"Shut up Billy!"

Suzie and I turned and yelled at Loomer at the same time.

"Alright, that's enough!" Mr. Rogue yelled over all of us. "This is getting out of control!"

"B-but…"

"Ms. Crabgrass! You've been disrespectful and unable to pay attention to my direct instructions! Guess what! You are now being punished the same way as Mr. Loomer and Mr. Bigby here!" Rogue's face was turning red. "I don't want to hear anything else out of anyone!"

I knew this would like this. Now Suzie is in trouble too because of me. I told her to stay out of this!

"That's… that's…" Suzie was about to blow. I had to stop her from saying anything else.

"Suzie, just listen to what he has to say," I told her through gritted teeth. Suzie didn't get in trouble with Rogue like I did. She didn't know it was easier to just let him talk.

"Bigby, as usual with the good advice," Rogue said with a toothy smile. I hated it. "Alright, children follow me. All of you." He started walking out of the classroom into the hallway.

Suzie, Loomer, and I followed him from a distance.

I looked at Suzie. "I told-" I tried to get it out of my mouth.

"Shut up Ned." Suzie was quick on the draw again.

All three of us followed Mr. Rogue down the hallway to one of the unused rooms at the very end of the hall. I could make out some boxes of what looked like unused school supplies like paper in the darkness inside. He brought the key he said he got from the main office and opened the door.

Mr. Rogue turned on the light once we were all inside. The brighter room didn't give us any answers to what our punishment was supposed to be. The room wasn't as big as a normal classroom but it wasn't tiny. Looking around, I saw boxes of paper, scissors, and staplers. You know, school junk. There were a few larger desks with old-looking computers and large printer machine things. The room looked like teachers had just used it as a dumping ground for trash they weren't using over the years.

Was our punishment to clean this garbage up?

"Ohohohohoho you are going to hate this so much!" Mr. Rogue was cracking himself up. He was almost jumping up and down.

"So are we cleaning this room up or something?" Loomer asked while scratching his head.

"Psh. I don't care if you clean it or not." Mr. Rogue replied to Loomer. "This is your new English classroom."

"Huh?"

"What?"

"You don't care if we clean it?"

"You are looking at the offices of the school newspaper! The Taft High School 'Taft Times!' Mr. Rogue beamed. He was having a hard time containing himself.

"The Taft Times?" I said, with as much disgust as I could. What a terrible name.

Suzie was back on the classroom thing. "This is our new English classroom? I thought this was a storage room?"

"I just told you it was a school newspaper office Ms. Crabgrass. Now it's your classroom."

"Is this some kind of joke?" Loomer was picking at the sleeve of his black leather jacket while he talked.

"I am completely serious." Mr. Rogue was enjoying this a lot. He was replying to all of us but he wasn't giving us any answers.

I looked around at Suzie and Loomer's faces. "So what? Our 'punishment' is having a separate classroom from the rest of the class?" Rogue needed to get to the point already.

"Something like that." Mr. Rogue went to one of the windows of the room and wiped off some dust covering the 'Taft High School Taft Times' sign that was hanging from the inside of the room. It must have been so dirty nobody could read it from the outside. It was a terrible name for a school newspaper so nobody was missing anything anyway.

After Rogue was finished cleaning the sign he turned around and faced the confused teenagers in the dusty room. I guess I'm confused too. "You guys, and now girl, are the new newspaper club."

"Uh, no way." Loomer was right. I wasn't sure he even knew how to write.

"Uh yes, way!" Rogue smiled at Loomer when he mocked him. "Your grades are going to depend on it!"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, making my voice as calm as I could. I didn't want to risk more severe punishment.

Rogue turned and made eye contact with me. I could see the delight in his eyes. "The traditional classroom environment doesn't seem to work for you, Bigby. So we are trying something new."

"New?" Suzie interjected.

"Yes! Think of it as an experiment. Each week you three are responsible for a new issue of the school newspaper. Instead of meeting in the English classroom like the rest of your class, you will be working here," he gestured around the dusty room, "on this week's issue of the Taft Times!"

"So we aren't in your class anymore? We are in this newspaper club thing?" It wouldn't be a stretch to say Suzie was upset at being assigned to a club without her consent.

"Oh, you are all three in my class. You are just being graded by different criteria now. Your grades are now pass/fail."

"Pass/fail?" I didn't like where this was going.

"You three write, put together, and publish an issue of the newspaper this week. Pass." Rogue offered.

"And if we don't write one in time?" I asked. I was trying to be careful.

"Fail."

Great. What the hell kind of school was this? Suzie's mouth dropped open a bit and Loomer looked like he wasn't getting any of this.

"You can't do this. This has to be illegal." I said, forgetting to cover up my frustration. I was risking even more punishment. Oh well. It's hard to imagine being punished more than this anyway.

"How so? The vice-principal wants a school paper. We haven't had one in years! It was my job as an English teacher to start the club again and here you three are! Win-win!" Then Rogue lost control for a second. "Hohohoho boy I knew you would hate this Bigby!"

He was gleeful. Last year I never saw him like this. It was like he had found his calling.

"Yeah it's one thing to be forced into a club but you can't grade us on it!" I was the only one talking. Either Suzie and Loomer were too shocked to speak or they were just letting me handle it.

"Why not? I cleared it with the vice-principal! The district hasn't replaced the principal's job yet. There's nobody to talk to about this! What are you going to do Bigby? I gave you several chances this year and last year. These are the consequences."

What would I do? "We'll go to the school board! They won't let you do this!" Aha! Got you now!

Then Mr. Rogue started some of the most obnoxious laughter I've ever seen. Like. He was almost crying. It was very confusing. Wasn't the school board responsible for his employment? "Mr. Bigby. Mr. Bigby. Mr. Bigby. Have you ever even been to a school board meeting?"

"Uh no."

"I don't know how much you know about the school board but they don't care about school!" He continued his obnoxious laughter. Like. It was awful.

Well. I didn't want to just take Rogue's word for it but, he seemed to think what I said was so funny, I feel like he might be telling the truth.

I looked at Suzie and Loomer. They were still standing around in silence. Watching Rogue recover from his laughing fit. Man, what I said about the school board must have hit him just right for some reason.

Fine. It would be up to me to get answers. I would make sure I had his 'punishment' correct. "So let me get this straight. Instead of going to your English class we just come to this room now. We have to work on, write, publish a school newspaper once a week?" This seemed ridiculous.

Rogue was still out of breath from laughing so hard earlier. "That's right Bigby…"

"If we don't get a paper published every week we, like, fail your class?" Suzie had some questions at last.

"That's right Ms. Crabgrass. You will have to create a newspaper with a minimum word count only known right away by me. So no half-assing it."

"We don't know anything about newspapers!" Loomer looked like he wanted to cry. All this talk about word counts must be confusing him.

"Well, there are a few manuals on the desk over there about page layouts and newspaper writing from years ago. The last newspaper club probably left them here." Mr. Rogue was looking around the room. "You better learn fast. Your first issue is due Friday. It's already Wednesday."

We weren't going to be able to talk him out of this. The realization must have been settling in with Suzie and Loomer as well. Suzie plopped down in a chair with one of the computers and the manuals Rogue was talking about.

"How long does this punishment last?" Suzie asked from the chair. She was in the middle of thumbing through a book called 'Page Layouts.'

"All year!" Mr. Rogue replied with a big smile. "You guys better get used to staying after school! School newspapers are hard work!" He looked like he wanted to start laughing again. "Oh, and you might want to start calling local businesses to help pay for the cost of printing. We have some paper for this week but it can be pretty pricey."

"What? The school doesn't pay for the newspaper club?" At this point in Rogue's explanation, I shouldn't be shocked at anything but there it was.

"Bigby! What did I just tell you about the school board!"

I guess that's a good point?

"What did we do to deserve this?! Just let us say sorry!" Loomer pleaded. Maybe begging like this worked for him at home.

"I wasn't kidding earlier. My traditional classroom lessons don't seem to work on Mr. Bigby here. Maybe intense pressure is the only way he can learn something. If he can't, instead of 'Bigby' he'll be more like Big 'F'!"

I think a middle school teacher already used that joke on me.

I thought back to my broken chair head injury incident yesterday. He might be right.

"As for you Billy Loomer. I haven't been able to teach you anything ever. Your grades are trash. Let alone in a classroom with your two idiot friends. Being away from them will be good for you." Mr. Rogue added.

He might be right about Loomer, Jerry, and Buzz too.

"Ms. Crabgrass." Suzie looked up from the newspaper manual she had in her hands. "You're here because you were disrespectful. Also, it wasn't planned, but you might be the only reason these two idiots pass this class." He turned and walked out of the room leaving us here to be shocked.

He is absolutely right about Suzie.

We all looked at each other. Suzie was sitting in a chair at one of the computer desks. Loomer walked over to a desk with paper cutters and printers and sat down in a random chair.

"What are we going to do Ned?" Suzie looked at me over her glasses.

What were we going to do? We couldn't make a newspaper. Loomer couldn't write more than three sentences at a time let alone work on a school paper. Maybe if I talked to Rogue one-on-one. Maybe we could walk this back. Just do a book report or something.

"I'll be right back," I said as I dropped my backpack full of chair pieces on the floor of the room with a loud clanking noise.

Suzie and Loomer seemed too stunned to be thinking straight after Rogue explained our new English class situation. They didn't say anything to me. I ran out of the room to Rogue. He was still walking down the hall and was almost back to his classroom.

"Mr. Rogue!"

He turned around before walking into his room.

"What Bigby?"

I stopped a few feet away from him. I could see raindrops starting to hit the windows we had in the second-floor hallway.

"Is this real?" I asked. I knew he would understand what all I meant by my question.

He looked down at me. We were on the second floor so the sound of the strengthening rain could be heard through the roof.

I couldn't tell if he was thinking or he just wanted me to think a bit more.

"You know what Bigby? At the beginning of last year, you were one of the better writers in my class. Your assignments were great. Then you changed." He stopped and looked back to his classroom. "I know you are smarter than the number in my grade book last year. Let's find out how much."

He turned around and walked into his classroom.

That was surprising. I didn't expect anything with substance from him. I went in the opposite direction, walking down the hall to the newspaper room.

I had a lot to think about and the sound of the rain hitting the roof above me was giving me a nice background noise to do so.

"Hey, Bigby!" Mr. Rogue called, interrupting my thoughts.

I turned around and saw his head peeking out of his classroom doorway. "I almost forgot! You'll need this all year!" He held up the key he was showing off earlier and tossed it to me. I almost managed to catch it. After I picked it up off the ground he said, "you better hurry up and get back there. They're going to need you, Ned."

His head disappeared back into his classroom. I started walking back to the newspaper room with my mind still racing about what Mr. Rogue said. About last year.

The key to the newspaper room was in my hand.

X X X

The fighting had already started when I returned to the newspaper room.

"This is your fault, Billy! We are in this mess because of you! If you would've just let me say something to that asshole last year Ned wouldn't have gotten involved this morning!" She looked at me as I entered the room. "Like an idiot."

"I didn't need his help! I had it handled!"

"If you would just take the jacket off Billy… and dress like a normal person maybe they would leave you alone!"

Suzie was wrong.

As soon as Loomer showed weakness. As soon as he showed he could be impacted by teasing in that way…

I was sure the teasing would never stop.

I didn't say anything though. If this was a former lovers-type fight I didn't want to be involved. I walked over to my backpack on the floor. While they were fighting I was going to do something about this stupid chair.

"I like my jacket, Suzie! I'm done dressing the way you want me to! I looked lame!"

"Well, I hope the jacket was worth failing your English class and not graduating on time! Not that you were going to anyway!" Suzie was all but spitting in his face. Was this what Suzie and I looked like fighting yesterday?

The fight was already in an uncomfortable place but now I wanted to leave and just take the 'F' in the class to not have to listen to them anymore.

I lifted my backpack. It was struggling to contain all the contents. I dumped it out on the floor. The chair parts I had collected this morning made a loud noise as they scattered across the floor of the newspaper office/storage room. The noise was enough to interrupt the awkward fight happening in the room. Suzie and Loomer stopped yelling at each other.

The Guide fell out of my bag onto the floor with the rest of the chair pieces. The composition notebook stuffed with old sticky notes slid a little bit away from me. I got close to the ground and grabbed it off the floor, shoving it into the now empty backpack. I hoped Loomer or Suzie didn't see it.

I looked up to the silent room. Suzie and Loomer were staring at me. Oh, they for sure saw it. The sound of raindrops was coming from the windows in the room.

Crap.

I fully stood up and looked between them. "Rogue isn't going to change his mind. We're going to have to figure this out."

"Ned, like, tell us what the hell is up with the chair! Why have you been carrying it all over the place." Suzie must have already expected Rogue wouldn't budge.

"Yeah, you look like a freak Bigby."

What was up with the chair?

"It's broken." I scratched the back of my head.

"Obviously!"

"Duh!"

They were united against me.

"I sat in it yesterday! I broke it! Before I talked to Moze..." Both of them yelling at me made me say too much. No amount of trailing off could throw them off what I said.

"Oh, here we go." Suzie rolled her eyes.

"You and Jennifer talked! Wowww." Loomer's eyes got big. I wanted to poke them.

"It was nothing."

"It's never nothing with you and Mosely." I didn't like Suzie's tone of voice. "Is it nothing like our field trip 'date' at the end of eighth grade?"

"I said I was sorry for that! That whole situation was crazy. I didn't expect it to play out that way."

"Oh thank you so much for apologizing!" Suzie walked closer to me now. "Thank you so much for thinking of me Ned! How sweet."

"Why are you still upset about that? It was way over a year ago! You got together with Loomer again after that trip!"

"Gee that worked out so well for me!" She gestured at Loomer. His mouth opened a bit. "You let me make a great decision there Ned! Thanks!"

"I'm right here!" Loomer's feelings were in the crossfire now.

"It can't be my responsibility to make sure you don't go out with idiots like Loomer Suzie!"

"Again! Right here, guys!"

"And how did this all work out for you Ned? Where's Mosely? Where's your best friend?"

"Stop it, Suzie."

"You always told me that's all she was? 'She's just my best friend Suzie!' Well? Where is she, Ned!? Best friends don't get impacted by break-ups! Does she have any best friend advice for you?"

"I said stop it!"

"Or a crazy adventure Mosely and Simon can go on with you to get out of this English class situation? Huh!?"

"…"

"Are you done, Suzie?" My eyes were doing the rage tear thing.

"I know why you and Mosely aren't together anymore Ned. Like, it's stupid."

Easy for her to say.

"I can't believe you ended things with me like you did! Just to act so stupid with Mosely in high school. It's insulting." Her eyes were tearing up behind her glasses now too. "I know losing your friend sucks but you chose to push everyone away afterward! Now Mr. Rogue is punishing us for you deciding to blow off school and everyone for a year!"

Like she was one to talk.

"What about you Suzie? Where are your friends? At lunch, you are sitting with Loomer, your ex-boyfriend, Coconut Head, and Martin Qwerly! Not exactly your usual crowd? And… and… why are you so concerned with me lately? Why were you here after school anyway?! Don't you have volleyball practice or whatever?!"

"Duh. She didn't make the team this year." Suzie and I looked at Loomer.

What?

"You didn't make the team this year Suzie?" My head whipped back in her direction.

She stared at me with teary eyes for a while before she spoke. "Nope. There are some really good freshmen this year and your best friend Mosely got even taller. So no more room for me." I'm sure that wasn't how it worked but Suzie didn't seem to care.

"I didn't know that." This explained a lot about Suzie's behavior over the last few days. Why she wouldn't be sitting with Moze or the rest of the sporty/attractive crowd at lunch. Or pestering them in the hallways instead of me. She didn't feel like she belonged with them anymore.

I understood more than anything.

"Yeah well, it was none of your business Ned." Suzie glared at Loomer.

"Hey! You guys can't just talk about me like I'm not here! I'm not just someone you can be with when you get lonely Suzie! You can't just blame me for everything!" Loomer was making more sense than I ever would have expected.

Suzie seemed to think so too because she looked down at the floor.

We all stood quiet in the dusty room for a few minutes. Suzie and I were trying to pull ourselves together and Loomer was avoiding eye contact. We seemed to have exhausted whatever we had to fight about.

The rain continued to make noises against the windows. Suzie must have turned one of the old computers on at some point before I came back to the room. The computer was humming. Old cardboard boxes full of books, writing utensils, and old issues of the newspaper were on the ground around our feet. Alongside the remains of a chair I was becoming weirdly attached to.

Loomer was the first to break the silence.

"What are we going to do?!" Loomer asked.

"We have to learn how to make a school newspaper in a day and a half," I replied, as steady as I could make my voice sound.

"Or we fail right?"

Wow, Loomer was an idiot.

"Yes. Loomer."

Suzie grabbed her bag. "Well. Looks like we are going to fail English then." She was walking out as she talked.

Once Suzie was out of the door Loomer must have thought she had a good idea. "Great. This is your fault, Bigby!" Loomer exited the newspaper office.

I walked to the doorway of the room and looked at Suzie and Loomer walking down the hall.

"Guys we need to get to work!" I called out to them.

I reached in my pocket and put my fingers around the key to the room. I must have put it there sometime during our fight.

Thinking about the Guide I was super quick to hide earlier, I turned back to the messy newspaper office. I went into the day expecting to 'fix everything.' All I did was uncover more problems.

You didn't fix anything. You broke more stuff idiot.

I was going to have to walk home now. Again. I was wondering if I should stay until the weather cooperated. I could stay later and try to get what information I could from the 'how to make a student newspaper' manuals sitting around.

I let out a breath. I was just going to stay for a bit.

The rain outside didn't seem like it was close to letting up.

X X X

It was lunchtime but I wasn't in the cafeteria.

I had stopped by the woodshop at the beginning of lunch to 'borrow' some tools. I figured lunch would be the best time to make an appearance in the woodshop and not see Moze. After yesterday's (and the last year's) less-than-perfect social interactions, I didn't know if I had what it took to make another conversation happen with her.

"I have no idea how any of this is supposed to work," I muttered to myself on the floor of the newspaper room. The room I didn't realize existed until yesterday. The former home of the 'Taft Times.' Terrible name.

At some point, I had decided to just spend the whole lunch in the newspaper room. It was almost too late to finalize lunchtime social circles and I didn't feel like sitting with anyone in the cafeteria. I had failed to find a 'home table' four days into the school year anyway.

I was sitting on the floor holding a couple of tools I couldn't name and trying to 'repair' the chair I broke Tuesday afternoon. It wasn't going well.

I let out a big sigh.

Moze would know how to fix this.

"Yeah, she probably would." Suzie walked into the room and proceeded right by me (and my tools and chair parts) on the floor. I must have just talked about Moze out loud. I hope I'm not always doing that.

She walked across the room and sat at the desk with the old computer and the books. She was carrying her food on a tray. So I wasn't the only one who had the bright idea to avoid the cafeteria today.

"Would her woodshop talents, like, help her fix a chair though?" Suzie asked me without turning around from her meal. That was a good question.

"I wasn't sure I would see you in this room ever again after yesterday."

"Wouldn't want to sit at a lunch table with my 'ex-boyfriend.' Thought I could be alone here." She turned around from her lunch and her eyes looked me up and down. Tools, broken chair, everything. "Guess I was wrong." She turned back around. I could have sworn an icy wind came from her direction as she went back to her food.

I deserved the snark.

"Look. Suzie-"

"Aw man, you guys are in here?" Loomer was in the doorway to our hideout room.

"Go away, Billy. Nobody wants you here." Wow. Suzie was only going for kill shots today.

My quiet hiding place was being taken from me. The silence of the abandoned clubroom had been the perfect place to continue my chair-related insanity.

"I'm allowed to be in here too Suzie!"

"Can you guys keep it down? I'm trying to concentrate." I called out from my floor project. I was scratching my head with what I thought was a wrench.

"Shut up Bigby!" Nice.

Loomer walked farther into the room and started fiddling with some digital cameras on a folding table in the back.

"What are you guys even doing here anyway? It's lunchtime."

"Duh? I already told you."

"I thought Suzie would want the lunch table after… yesterday," Loomer told us without looking up from the camera he was fiddling with. I was sure Mr. Rogue didn't want any of the equipment in here broken.

So we were all trying to avoid each other and ended up in the same place. I was sure there was a joke there somewhere.

The lunch table Loomer and Suzie had been using came to my mind. "So Coconut Head and Martin are there alone right now?"

"I'm sure they are both fine. Martin's there to talk." Suzie didn't turn around but I knew her eyes were rolling.

"So you guys are just going to… eat here?" I wasn't trying to push them out of the room so I could be alone again but… I wasn't not trying to do that.

"I already ate dumbass." Loomer was eloquent as usual. I hoped he wasn't going to break the camera he was playing with.

"I'm eating right now Ned." Suzie didn't turn around. She didn't call me stupid but I was sure it was implied.

"What about you Bigby? Did you eat here?"

"Nah. I'm not hungry." I turned back to my failing chair repair project.

Loomer let out an awful laugh. "Wow, you never eat lunch. What a freak!"

I heard Suzie's chair move so I looked up at her. "That's why you are so skinny Ned." Suzie had turned around. She had an unreadable expression on her face. It was kind of scary. I didn't know what to say. Or even what the right thing to say was.

Turning back to my chair, I felt their eyes on me. I guess my broken chair weirdness was going to be their mealtime entertainment. It was silent for several moments. I never guessed we would all be back in here and talking like this so soon after a fight like yesterday. Maybe it meant-

Loomer cleared his throat.

"Um… guys?"

Suzie and I looked at him. She looked from her computer desk and I looked from my mess of chair parts and stolen tools.

Loomer never looked up from the digital camera he was picking at in his hands. "I really need to pass this class. My grades-"

"Are terrible." Suzie finished for him. Her voice was ice cold.

Brrr! Do we need a heater in here?

"Y-yeah. I can't fail a class like this. The vice-principal says…"

"I'm not failing a class because of Ned's inability to be a likable person either," Suzie said, interrupting Loomer. She didn't look at me even though she was talking about me.

…

"We can do this guys."

I was preparing myself all day to hunt them down and make the speech after school. Looked like it was happening sooner than I expected. Maybe it would be easier than I thought it would be when I started planning it last night.

Here goes.

I stood up from my chair mess on the floor. "Okay. Well. I was reading the newspaper club manuals last night and it doesn't seem that bad." I paused for any reaction from them. Nothing. I may only have one chance to get them all on board with going through with the newspaper. "Like, it won't be a good issue but I think we could make a couple of pages of a newspaper by Friday."

"How?" Loomer asked.

"Yeah please show us, Ned."

I didn't know if Suzie was being sarcastic or not. She didn't sound happy. I could pick her sarcasm out normally but she was evasive today.

"Well…" I took a breath. I thought about what Mr. Rogue said to me in the hallway yesterday afternoon. I walked over to a chalkboard in the corner on wheels. A teacher must have ditched it here when the high school switched to dry-erase boards. "We just need a couple of pages right? Well two of us will do a story and one of us will get pictures."

"A story Ned?" Suzie leered at me.

"Yeah! It doesn't have to be about anything big. It's a high school newspaper! Like write a story about this year's sports teams or…" Suzie's eyes did a squinty thing. Whoops. Sore subject. "...or the science field trip." I tried to recover.

"Hmmm… like, the school field trip? I guess I could do that." Suzie started to get a smug look on her face. I don't like where that's going. Oh well. I couldn't risk saying anything that might discourage her from helping. We had limited time.

I grabbed a piece of chalk and started making a list on the tall chalkboard on wheels.

"We are going to need like two stories. Mr. Rogue said they had to be a certain amount of words long." I wrote down '2 Stories' on the board.
"Yeah, but he said he wouldn't be telling us how long they should be." Suzie reminded me with the ice starting to return to her voice. "He usually tells us how many words we need in our writing homework. This time he's not."

"He's just doing that so we don't write like… three words and call it a story. I'm sure the news stories we do or whatever don't need to be that long."

She crossed her arms."You better hope so." More cold wind was coming from the direction of the old computer desk where she was sitting.

"What am I going to do?!" Loomer almost dropped the camera he was holding in thought.

I mean… he was drawn to the cameras anyway. "Loomer. You are going to get pictures."

"Of what?" Loomer looked down at the camera he was holding. The battery of the camera must have been charged in the recent past.

That would be the only explanation for Loomer taking a picture of himself with the flash on when he looked at the camera. "Ow! My eyes!"

This wasn't going to end well.

I turned around and wrote 'pictures' underneath the '2 Stories' bullet point on the chalkboard. "Loomer it doesn't matter. Just get students doing stuff. It just has to fill pages in the newspaper issue. We don't have time to make them fancy."

"You are not letting him take pictures for something everyone else is going to see." Suzie said. She had stood up at her desk.

"Suzie we don't have time to recruit a professional photographer to the newspaper club!"

"That's what we are? The newspaper club?" Suzie raised her eyebrow.

I let out another big sigh. "Do you want to fail English class?" I felt like I was sighing more often now. Wonder what that's about?

Suzie turned away from me and looked down at the old computer screen she was sitting in front of before. "No. I don't."

"Then yes. Yes, we are the newspaper club. The Taft Times or whatever." Terrible name. I wrote one last bullet point on the chalkboard: 'Advertisements.'

Did I spell that right?

I had already done enough to make me look stupid in front of Suzie. And Loomer.

"Advertisements? Like commercials?" Suzie asked.

"Yeah. Like images or logos from businesses for a small fee. We have some of the paper we need to print these newspapers here this week but we are going to need more for the coming weeks. And if the school isn't paying… Mr. Rogue said to call…" I was losing confidence in my plan as I was speaking. It was impossible.

"Good luck finding anyone to do that. Who do you trust to call adults and talk them into giving you money for a school paper?"

Suzie was right. This would never work.

"Hey, guys! What are you doing here? Is this why you weren't in English today?"

It's a good thing I hadn't needed some alone time. I didn't realize the newspaper room was the most popular in the building.

Coconut Head and Martin Qwerly were standing in the doorway to the clubroom.

"We are trying to figure out how to get an issue of the school newspaper done before tomorrow morning." I was rubbing my forehead with the hand not holding the piece of chalk.

"Or we fail Mr. Rogue's class." Suzie chimed in.

Thanks, Suzie.

"What are you guys doing here?" I was trying not to be rude but we were running out of time.

"Well… it was really quiet at lunch without you three at the table!" Coconut Head said like he hadn't thought about it until now.

"Yeah so when we finished lunch we decided to look around the school for you guys and Coconut Head said you guys were in the newspaper club now so we looked around all over for where the newspaper club room was and we couldn't find it but Mr. Chopsaw said he saw Ned leave the woodshop with some tools he said 'Ned better return them soon' but he also said he saw Ned go to the second floor so we went up here and we heard you guys talking from a room we've never been inside so here we are!"

Did I mention Martin Qwerly was here?

Coconut Head and Martin walked into the newspaper room and took a look around. Suzie sat back down and started tooling around on the old computer. Loomer was still playing with the camera like an idiot.

I greeted Coconut Head and Martin. "Well, welcome to the newspaper club." I turned back to our to-do list on the chalkboard and started thinking.

We were going to need a small amount of money for the paper we needed to print issues of the Taft Times (terrible name) each week. I read in the manuals last night that the paper we were supposed to use isn't like real newspapers. It's more like a flyer.

The ads from area businesses would also be good for taking up space in the paper as well. One less page of actual writing to worry about.

"Wow! We're in the club?! That's so great I haven't ever been in a high school club I've tried out for sports because my mom said 'doing sports builds character' but I was unable to make any teams I blame it on my short statur-"

The room lit up with a flash of light. "Shut up Qwerly!" Loomer took a picture of Martin talking to me near the chalkboard. Loomer was doing that awful laugh he does.

Wait. 'In the club'?

"No… wait, Martin, I was just welcoming you to the ro-" Then an idea crossed my mind.

Suzie's head whipped around and she looked into my eyes. She wasn't smiling but she was close. Excitement was passing between us.

I turned back to Qwerly. "That's right! Welcome to the newspaper club guys!"

"Yeah I always wanted to know what it was like working for-"

"Thanks! So is this where we have lunch now?" Coconut Head interrupted, getting out ahead of a Martin Qwerly talk-a-thon.

"Uh, it looks like that today… Anyway, it looks like everyone has their jobs except we do need someone to call some area businesses and see if they want to buy an ad for our school newspaper." I was next to Martin, walking him over to a small desk with a dusty phone and a giant phonebook. The pages were yellow.

"Do you think you could work the phone for us when we meet after school today Martin?" Suzie walked up to the other side of Martin, acting the most polite I've seen her in literal years. "If they say yes can you have them send you a logo or an ad they want students to see in the school paper?"

"Sure guys I love talking on the phone Coconut Head and I talk for literal hours every night but he doesn't say much he kinda just lets me do the talking I can call these businesses like stores and shops and car washes and…"

Qwely was going to keep going.

"Thanks so much Martin!" Suzie gave him a high five.

Wow, this might work.

The bell signaling the end of lunch rang. Everyone stood up in the middle of the room and started situating their backpacks.

"Okay, guys! We meet right after school and we need to get an issue of the paper out by tomorrow morning." I was saying all this for Coconut Head and Martin's benefit. Loomer and Suzie had to be here anyway.

Their English grades depended on it.

"Does everyone know what they are doing for the paper after school?" Suzie was getting involved now. She was serious about the 'not failing' thing.

Martin only shook his head 'yes' without saying anything else.

"Uh taking pictures?" Loomer held up a camera.

"Yes! Students in hallways, any newsworthy thing you see, stuff like that." I instructed him as best I could. I knew Loomer was going to need more guidance.

"Ned and I will be writing stories tonight. I'll write one on the science field trip and Ned…" she looked at me with more smugness "...good luck finding an idea for a story."

She was right. I had to fill part of this paper too and I had no idea what to write. Oh well, that will be a problem for later.

The hallway outside was getting crowded with students on their way to the next class.

"Ned? What am I doing for the newspaper?"

Crap. Almost forgot about Coconut Head. As I was thinking, Loomer almost dropped his camera again.

Loomer couldn't be trusted alone with school property. "You, my friend, are going to help Loomer take pictures. Make sure he doesn't take pictures of anything inappropriate. And make sure he actually comes back with some photos!" I said as Loomer was already walking out of the room to take pictures of the passing students.

"Got it boss!" Coconut Head trotted out to follow Loomer.

Coconut Head made me think back to what Mr. Rogue said yesterday. About me.

"Wait!" Coconut Head wasn't far away from the room yet. I stuck my head out of the doorway to the clubroom. "I'm not your boss!" I yelled down the hallway in his direction as he walked away from me.

"Yeah! I am!"

I turned around and Suzie was standing right behind me.

She was smiling.

X X X

It was much easier to move through the halls after finding a place to keep the broken chair I had been carrying around.

Keeping the chair in the newspaper club room also spared me from some of the weird looks I had been getting.

It didn't spare me from the whispers from my fellow students though. "That's the kid who got stuck in the bathroom…" or "It was a sewage plant bathroom can you believe it?" The situation was almost like the first week of school last year when I tried to continue the whole 'survival guide' schtick from middle school.

Anyway, I didn't have time to think about this. During my last class of the day, the amount of stuff Suzie, Loomer, and I needed to get done before tomorrow morning was setting in. I was beginning to panic.

I was thankful for the lack of chair weight in my backpack as I started panic running after school through the hallway trying to get back to the newspaper room. Oh, man. We needed to get to work as soon as possible.

"Ned!"

Was that Cookie?

I stopped my panic trot and turned around. Cookie was walking around the other students in the dismissal crowd to get to where I was. His glasses were sliding down his nose as he moved to catch up with me.

"Hey! Ned!"

"What's up Cookie?"

"Ned is it true-"

"Yeah probably," I interrupted. He could be talking about any number of embarrassing things I've been a part of over the last week and I wasn't in the mood to talk about any of them. "Sorry Cookie I really don't have time…"

I kept looking away from him back down the hallway. I needed to make sure Loomer got some pictures during the last couple of hours of the school day. Also, Martin needed to start calling these businesses during what was left of their business hours. They would need me to unlock the newspaper room. I still had the key Mr. Rogue gave me yesterday.

"Oh… really?" I was hearing some confusion in Cookie's voice.

"Yeah, I have a lot to get done before tomorrow morning." I looked back at him. "I'll tell you all about it later. It's crazy."

I started to walk away. He was going to run off with Lisa anyway. He was acting calm, however. He wasn't making any exaggerated movements.

"So you are gonna be fine with it?"

I stopped walking for a second. "With what? The newspaper?"

"The newspaper? No. Jock Goldman."

Jock Goldman. "What about him?" I tried my best not to sound too interested. I hoped what Cookie was talking about didn't have anything to do with Moze.
"Didn't you just say it was true? He wants Moze to come to his football games. Like a…" It was none of my business.

"Actually… I don't care Cookie. I gotta go." I turned back around. I didn't know where the impulse to rip my backpack in half was coming from.

This was weird. Cookie didn't talk to me about Moze ever since…

I walked a few more steps. I know he didn't like Jock Goldman in middle school either but I wondered why he even bothered to bring it up to me now?

"Okay… oh! About what you said yesterday. You said the Guide was in your backpack?"

I slowed down for another second. I've been trying to talk to him without interruptions all week and he picks the one day I have no time to try to discuss everything with me? I looked at the clock on my phone.

I just didn't have time. I had to check on the others in the newspaper room. "Yeah don't worry about it Cookie. We'll talk tomorrow!" At some point, I had started jogging in place out of impatience.

"Okay…" I hated how bummed out Cookie sounded. Any other day…

I turned around and ran down the hall toward the stairs leading to the area with Mr. Rogue's classroom and the newspaper clubroom. I was reminded again how easier it was to move through the halls without the heavy pieces of a broken chair in my backpack.

What did Cookie want to know about the Guide? There wasn't a broken chair in my backpack but the Guide was still in there.

Which one was heavier between the two?

X X X

Our problems didn't start right away..

When I had gotten back to the newspaper room Suzie and Martin were waiting by the door. They seemed confused about what was taking me so long to get there. At least Suzie was. I wasn't talking to Cookie that long. Martin just looked happy to be there.

"Wow, Ned did you, like, go get some food before coming here?"

"Suzie, I got here as fast as I could." I fumbled around with the key to the door while talking to her.

Suzie was in a rush. For good reason. It would be horrible to fail our class one week into the school year. Maybe she had after-school plans? After what she said yesterday, was she doing anything else though?

I'm sure Suzie would have crossed her arms if she wasn't using one arm to hold up her backpack. "I'm surprised Mr. Rogue trusts you with the key to an entire room of the school."

"Maybe he didn't want to give the key to someone who called him 'asshole' right in front of him," I said while opening the door.

"I wasn't wrong."

I wondered if Martin was used to seeing Suzie and I go at it like this. I didn't know if it was a good thing Suzie and I were settling into an antagonistic relationship if we had to be in this 'club' together all year.

Oh well. I hoped our bickering wasn't scaring Martin away from the 'club.' We needed him to get ads for our paper...

It would be helpful to know how many pages Mr. Rogue expected in the first place. The old issues of the Taft Times (terrible name) lying around here had like 4 pages each. I doubted we were going to have that many.

All three of us walked into the room. Suzie went to her computer desk and started typing. Good to see one of us knows what we are writing about.

I showed Martin to the dusty phone in the corner with the phonebook. I only had to endure a few minutes of Martin talking before he started calling. Then I went to another computer near the chalkboard on the other side of the room to start typing my story. I sat down and stared at the screen. I could hear the sound of the old computers running. Suzie's keyboard clacking. Martin Qwerly talking the ear off of what I assumed were managers of local businesses.

Sunlight was shining through the outdoor windows. It looked like a nice afternoon out there.

…

Almost fell asleep for a second.

The sun was less bright in the window and it was starting to get darker when I realized an uncomfortable amount of time had passed. I was still staring at a blank screen.

…

I didn't know what 'news' story to write about.

…

Uh oh. We didn't have time for this. We had even less time now. Crap. I turned around from my computer and looked across the room. Suzie's screen had a significant amount of story already written.

"Hey guys!"

"We just got the best pictures you've ever seen losers!"

Loomer and Coconut Head charged into the room. I hoped they weren't overselling their photos. If I couldn't think of something to write about, their photos would need to cover a lot of the pages.

I was feeling like I needed a break. I haven't been making any progress at all, so I don't need a break. Standing up, I stretched my arms over my head and walked over to the other side of the room with Loomer and Coconut Head.

"Good! There's a laptop where the cameras were. Plug the camera in and move the photos to the computer." I was curious to see how Loomer did with his new best friend Coconut Head.

Suzie didn't look up from her typing. The window near her desk had a nice view of the dark sky outside. Wow, it's late.

Coconut Head plugged the camera in and was working on the laptop to show us the pictures.

Loomer was being weird. "We went everywhere! We took pictures in gym class, we crashed football practice, we got so many pictures in the hallway!" His eyes were wide with excitement. Weird.

I wondered if they got a picture of something I could write about.

With a 'ding' noise the laptop signaled the pictures were ready to view. Coconut Head brought up a slideshow of what he and Loomer had been spending the last few hours on.

…they were awful.

The photos weren't framed badly or blurry or anything like that…

But every photo was of Coconut Head posing with a random student. There's one of him and someone from the football team. There's one of him with Claire Sawyer in the hallway. There's one of him-

You get the idea. Coconut Head had his 'I'm shocked' face in all of them. Well. They looked like they were having fun in these… if I wasn't getting so angry I might have been impressed that so many students bothered to stop for a picture.

I grabbed chunks of hair with my hands. "Oh. My. God."

"Great right?" Loomer gave Coconut Head a high five.

Wow, Loomer was an idiot.

"No! These are terrible!"

Loomer recoiled a little bit. "What? These are amazing." Coconut Head nodded in agreement.

"We can't use these!" My voice went high-pitched. I couldn't believe this. There were no more students here this late to get pictures to replace these.

Coconut Head looked kind of hurt. "Why not? You told us to get pictures with students?"

"I didn't tell you to be in them! The photographer isn't supposed to be in the news pictures!" I couldn't believe they weren't understanding this.

"Hey Ned no more stores are answering my calls but I did get an agreement with one of the businesses to give a small amount of money for the paper each week-"

I jumped. "Woah! Jeez, Martin!" He startled me. I had forgotten Martin Qwerly was in this room. I guess his constant chatter in the corner had become background noise.

"Sorry, Ned my mom always says I walk really quietly I wonder if that's why I was able to sneak up on you like-"

I turned to face him. "So you were able to get someone to agree to buy the paper for our issues?" Interrupting Martin was the best strategy.

"Yeah they will give us a small amount of money each week in exchange for mentioning them somewhere in the paper I asked for a picture of a logo but they didn't have one they only want us to put their name somewhere maybe like a segment 'sponsored' by them or something they were happy to support local schools they said-"

Martin was going to keep talking. At least he was able to do his job. Buying paper for the printers in the corner of the room each week was one less thing we had to worry about.

Wait a minute.

"Martin! You didn't get a picture of a logo or an advertisement?" My hands were grabbing my hair again.

"I just told you Ned they didn't have one they are fine with just a mention once in the school paper sometimes I feel like people don't listen to-"

"Martin! We needed the ads to take up space in the newspaper! We are going to have to do way more writing now!" I didn't know if I could be in this 'club' or whatever we were. I wasn't going to have any hair left.

"Can you idiots, like, stop yelling? I'm trying to concentrate!"

"Sorry, Suzie. Just dealing with a few issues here." I said through gritted teeth. I wasn't in the mood for her brand of being right.

"You better not be talking about me freak! There are no issues with my awesome pictures."

How can Loomer be so proud about something so mediocre?

At least Suzie was contributing in a significant way. I turned away from my frustration with Loomer, Coconut Head, and Martin and walked over to see what Suzie had finished. Loomer started showing them his photos again anyway.

I took a look at what Suzie was typing over her shoulder. The headline of her story was at the top of her computer screen.

Taft High School Student Trapped in Sewage Plant Bathroom

I thought she said it was a 'wastewater treatment facility?'

"Um...Suzie?"

"What do you need Ned? I told you not to bother me right now."

"So, uh, what's your story about Suzie?"

"The field trip. I told you that."

"Any specific part of the field trip?"

She turned around and looked at me with more Suzie smugness. "You don't know? Wow your reading comprehension, like, just isn't great. Is it?" Suzie went back to her computer. "No wonder Mr. Rogue is always mad at you."

"Suzie you can't write about that!"

"The school needs to know the truth!"

"No, they don't! Why would anyone care about what happened to one student on a field trip?"

"Ned, have you heard what they are saying about you? They think you got stuck! They, like, definitely care."

"Yeah but nobody cares if Ned Bigby gets stuck in the bathroom again! If you tell everyone it was Alex who got stuck then his reputation is trashed!" I was grabbing my head again. I couldn't help it. "Trapped in the bathroom at a sewage plant? The jokes write themselves!"

Suzie turned around from her computer again. "If you cared so much about his reputation you would have helped him earlier this week when he asked instead of screaming at him in the middle of class!"

"He wasn't asking me for help about that!"

"How would you know Ned? You screamed over him!" Suzie had stood up from her computer desk.

"Wait? Bigby didn't get stuck in the bathroom?"

Wow. Loomer was an idiot.

I guess it was a good thing most people bought my lie. "No Loomer. The freshman in our science class did."

"Really?" I guess Coconut Head was fooled as well.

"Yeah, I lied on the field trip. Alex the Freshman got stuck. All I did was find where he was trapped. Don't tell anybody."

"It won't matter who you tell after tomorrow guys. Hey! I'm serious Ned. The whole school's been talking about you getting stuck in the sewage bathroom." She frowned at me. "You were right! The jokes do write themselves." There was sadness in there somewhere. I didn't know what to make of it.

"Then why bring Alex into this?! Isn't that just as mean as screaming at him?"

"Because this isn't how you should help people Ned! It's my fault! I know I told you helping people made you more interesting in middle school…" She moved away from me and looked at the story on her computer. "…but lying and taking the blame for stuff is stupid."

"Why do you care Suzie?!"

"It's just…"

"It doesn't matter! You aren't doing it! You aren't going to use the school newspaper to tell the student body an embarrassing story, Suzie!"

"You aren't in charge Ned!"

Loomer, Coconut Head, and Martin were watching us squabble with confusion on their faces.

Suzie was right. I wasn't in charge.

"Yeah… I don't know what I'm doing. I just don't want to ruin Alex's social life. I've already done enough to do that already." I was having trouble bringing my eyes to meet hers.

Suzie crossed her arms and cocked her head. "Right now my story is all you have. Unless you've been writing a masterpiece over there?"

She's been right a lot lately. It's been annoying.

Our situation wasn't going well. Suzie was writing a hit-piece against a freshman because she was taking the blame for me lying, Loomer and Coconut Head's pictures were unusable, and Martin got no ads to fill page space. He did get money though.

I was thinking this wouldn't be so bad if I had managed to write anything to take up space in the newspaper over the last few hours.

So this is pretty terrible. Wait. This whole week has been pretty terrible. The sad thing was, I was sure the week could get even worse before it ended.

"Looks like this is going well!"

Mr. Rogue walked into the newspaper club room. He took extra care to step around the broken chair parts still on the ground. We were all still standing around in heightened emotional confusion as he walked by us to take a look around.

His eyes fell on Martin and Coconut Head.

"Ah! I see you've been recruiting! Good idea! Cuts out some of the work for you and makes me look like I've started a thriving newspaper club!" He was smiling his toothy smile. I hated it. He had a messenger bag and his jacket draped across an arm. Wasn't it still pretty warm outside?

There were a few moments of silence while Rogue looked around. Everyone was side-eying me.

I guess they are going to make me talk. This is why everyone avoids taking charge and making plans. They want someone to blame when it goes wrong.

"Did you need something… sir?" I added the 'sir' to cool him off in case he was offended by me questioning him. Or whatever psychos like him think.

"Just checking in on your progress." He checked his wristwatch. I guess he was old enough to not realize a clock was in every cell phone. "You club members are running out of time. By the looks of things around here, it looks like I can look forward to an… interesting issue of the Taft Times." He said, looking around the room at our clear lack of progress.

"We… might not make it in time," I said. I could feel myself start to sweat. Was it hot in here?

"Well, you better figure it out, Bigby. Or you three fail the class! Remember what I told you yesterday!" He started cackling and walked out into the hall. I didn't want to follow him to beg for extra time. Ever since we've been sentenced to 'punishment by newspaper club' Rogue has spent way less time ranting at me.

The newspaper 'club' members were all still standing around waiting for someone to speak for a few moments.

Irritated, Suzie started first. "Ned. I'm not failing this class because all of you are, like, incompetent or something." If she is talking about all of us why did she say my name?

"Suzie. I don't know how we are going to get this done. It's already late. We don't have an ad to take up space, we don't have pictures that would be good for a newspaper… "

"We don't have another news story because you are an idiot." Suzie interrupted.

"Yeah… that too."

Coconut Head jumped in. "Do you need help, Ned? Maybe I could think of something!"

"Like what?" I asked.

"Uhhhh…" Exactly. Coconut Head was drawing a blank.

We could have used the extra days we missed out on. Why did we have to spend so much time fighting each other over the past day? Why couldn't I have just shown up on time to English Wednesday and avoided all of this?!

"That's what we are all wondering," Suzie replied.

Wait did I say that out loud? I needed to stop doing that.

"I don't know what to do. I'm… I need to go for a walk." I looked around at Suzie, Loomer, Coconut Head, and Martin Qwerly.

They were all looking aimless. Like they didn't know what to do next. I turned around and walked out of the door to the club.

The last thing I saw before I left was Suzie's head shaking in disappointment.

X X X

I was roaming the halls without purpose.

Walking was doing a good job of calming me down, but it wasn't giving me any ideas about how to fix our newspaper situation. We were out of time. Suzie, Loomer, and I didn't get along well enough to make anything good. Or anything at all.

I was on the first floor of the high school. There seemed to be activity down the hall in the direction of the gym. It looked like some adults, maybe parents were going in and out of the gym doors connecting to the hallway. As I got closer, there would be some quiet cheers and maybe some clapping every few seconds.

Curious, I walked over to the gym doors. It wasn't like I was making any progress on how to solve the newspaper crisis just walking around anyway. Maybe I could write a story on whatever the hell was going on there.

I walked into the gym and stood between the bleachers and exit door. Parents were walking out when I walked in so I couldn't see what was happening at first. Some kind of ball game?

I saw her after the people walking by got out of the way. It was a volleyball game. There was a volleyball game happening in the gym tonight.

Uh oh.

I darted to the side near the side of the bleachers so I was a little out of view of everyone else in the gym. Moze was on the court… field? …or whatever it was called. I needed to make sure I was out of sight. Wouldn't want an embarrassing conversation with Moze's family if they were there. I had no idea the school had volleyball games this early in the school year.

Well, obviously they do. I thought, witnessing the game playing out right in front of me.

In our several years of knowing each other, I had never seen Moze play before. I knew she was great at almost every sport she tried but I never have witnessed her athletic prowess at a game in person. Unless her 'beating me up' counted as me witnessing her athletic prowess when we were younger. I was sure it did.

I didn't know the rules or what was going on, but Taft High School was behind on the scoreboard. I would have already known that just looking at Moze's eyes though. They were blazing fire. Being down on points wasn't sitting well with her.

I had seen that fire before when we used to play board games, video games, or anything competitive.

Every time Taft High's team scored points there would be a few stray claps around the gym. I didn't know how much time passed but Moze was continuing to slam the ball over to the other side of the field… court? …whatever, and score points for our team. She brought our score to the same number as the other high school's.

I didn't know anything about volleyball but I had to see how this was going to end.

Also, I was enjoying having a not-creepy excuse to watch Moze kick some ass. It probably is still pretty creepy.

With a jump, Moze slammed the ball over to the other school's… area and brought Taft High School ahead in points. There were a few stray claps and cheers once again. I took a few steps forward and looked around. There had to be only like 30 or 40 people here tops. Most of them were parents. Where was everyone?

It was baffling. Was the turnout this low at football games? How could the whole school not be here to watch Jennifer Mosely dominate?

I also noticed something while watching Moze play.

All the girls on the volleyball team would walk to the center of their side and high five, hug or pat each other on the back between each play.

It was nice.

I didn't know how to describe it. My mind went to my recent thoughts on 'disposable relationships.' Suzie didn't make the volleyball team this year with her friends, proving the temporary nature of certain relationships in high school. It also didn't seem like she was continuing to be around those girls anymore.

Here I was though, watching the volleyball team working hard and coming together after every play. Coming together no matter how bad the game was going. Could these friendships be called 'disposable' no matter how 'temporary' they were? I wasn't sure.

I watched the volleyball team come together in a quick hug between a play again. I could see why Suzie would miss being a part of something like this. My brain went to our half-baked 'club' upstairs…

The other team scored and tied the game up. Moze was upset. She did that quick head tilt thing she does when she's angry. The few parents at the game were cheering for our team. Some of them were even yelling Moze's name trying to encourage her. I knew it didn't matter.

Moze was going to win.

It was easy to see in her eyes from my hiding spot between the exit and the bleachers. This game was over. Before they started playing again though something happened.

I lost control of myself.

"Let's go Moze!" I yelled as loud as I could.

Moze's head did a twitch in my direction. There was no way she knew where I was but she heard me. I took a few steps back behind the bleachers toward the gym exit just in case.

She knew it would only be me calling her by her nickname. Ever since first grade. Back then there were three Jennifers in our class so I called her 'Moze.' There were multiple Jennifers in class but only one Moze.

There was still only one Moze.

It was easy to lose track of time watching Moze play. It was hard to tell how long I had stood there watching.

After Moze won the game, the rest of her team all celebrated with her in the middle of their side again. Her eyebrows did that raised thing they do when she smiled. Her forehead was shining with sweat. She was almost a head taller than most of the girls around her.

I needed to fix it.

I needed to fix everything.

Before I was watching Moze destroy another volleyball team almost single-handedly, and before I saw her smile after a victory, I didn't have an idea of what 'fixing everything' meant.

I think I did now.

Moze was right several months ago.

I was pathetic.

I thought of my 'punishment' upstairs. The newspaper club I walked away from. The past year of being in my head too much. Maybe this is what Mr. Rogue was talking about last night.

Moze was being herself in front of everyone.

Maybe I should be myself too.

X X X

I was standing in the doorway to our club out of breath.

Loomer and Suzie looked up from what they were doing. Loomer was on the laptop near the cameras scrolling through the photos he took earlier. Suzie was staring at a document on her computer, displaying her story she wrote, before she looked up at me.

It took a few moments to catch my breath after running through the school, up the stairs, and back to the newspaper room.

"Well look who's back." Suzie didn't roll her eyes but I could hear it in her voice.

Loomer looked irritated. "Where have you been dude? Coconut Head and Qwerly went home already." That was fine. They had helped enough already.

"I have an idea."

I walked to my backpack on the floor near the broken chair pieces and pulled out the Guide. The old composition notebook. Stuffed to the brim with sticky notes with 'tips' written on them. Tips to help students survive school.

Loomer and Suzie's mouths both dropped open a little bit.

I hadn't talked about the Guide for like a year now. It had to have been common knowledge how embarrassed I was of my middle school years. Of the Guide. Spending class time writing 'school survival strategies' with Moze and Cookie. Walking around the school giving students tips when they asked for help.

Nobody brought it up to me anymore. Which was embarrassing in its own way.

"Is that what I think it is?" Suzie asked. She wasn't talking very loud.

Loomer laughed. The awful laugh. "You still have that thing pipsqueak?"

"Loomer be quiet you aren't that much taller than me anymore."

"Yeah, Billy shut up." Suzie added. "Ned, why do you have that here? I thought you and Mos…" Suzie trailed off.

"I found it earlier this week. I dug it out of my closet at home after we fought in the hall Tuesday."

Suzie bit her lip and squinted her eyes a little bit.

"Ned, why are you showing us this? We have bigger problems right now." She gestured around the room. "We can, like, talk or whatever about that later."

I took a moment. I looked her in the eye. "That's what I mean. I think the Guide can help us with the newspaper."

"We aren't in middle school anymore loser! How is that thing gonna help us?" Loomer wasn't getting it.

It was my turn to gesture around the room. "We have everything we need already. We can finish the newspaper before tomorrow."

"Ned it's already so late."

"I know Suzie! I have an idea though! I know what my story can be!" I walked over to the chalkboard. "But you have to promise not to expose Alex with yours."

"I already told you Ned I'm not…"

"Suzie I know what you said! But I know how we can do what you were talking about and still get this issue done on time!"

"What are you talking about, idiot?" Loomer was calling me an idiot. Loomer. Was calling me. An idiot.

"Ned we don't have time for this."

"I know! I know! Just let me explain! Please, Suzie! Give me a chance here!"

I grabbed some chalk and started writing on the chalkboard.

"Ned. This better be good. Like, you're wasting more of our time." She crossed her arms like she does.

"Suzie! I promise this will work!" I said while writing.

I hoped I could deliver.

X X X

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

No. "I think so."

Suzie, Loomer, and I were staring at my 'plan' scribbled out on the chalkboard. They seemed to be receptive to what I was suggesting. Suzie asked a good question though. This would be the most I put myself 'out there' since starting high school. Up until a couple of days ago, I was doing my best not to stand out.

This was sure to be embarrassing. My only hope would be the possibility of nobody reading the school newspaper. We haven't had an issue of the school paper in years, right? Maybe nobody would find them tomorrow.

From the outside, I had been extra weird this week already. Not this publicly though. Not in the school paper.

My imagination jumped to Moze's 'embarrassed of Ned' face surrounded by her new tall, maybe even taller than she was, attractive friends, laughing at me.

"I'm not sure this is what Mr. Rogue was talking about when he told us to start the newspaper again," Suzie said. It was like she was afraid Mr. Rogue would overhear us talking.

"Yeah this seems pretty lame… but if I can use my awesome pictures doing it this way… I guess I'm on board."

I wasn't expecting Loomer to be on my side before Suzie.

"I don't know… with you and Mosely…" Suzie's been trailing off like that a lot.

"It will be fine. We need to get started now though. Your story should only need small changes." I was walking to the computer I was using earlier.

In the corner of my eye, I saw Suzie look at the chalkboard and back to me. She walked over to her computer and started working too.

Loomer didn't seem to have much more to do so he started scrolling through his pictures again.

We worked for like two hours. There wasn't much talking between all of us as we wrote, arranged photos with stories with the help of one of the newspaper manuals on Suzie's desk, and tried to set up the printing machines for the newspapers.

Suzie was great at finding what to do in the manuals every time we ran into a problem. Reading through her story, it was clear she was the best writer in the room. As she was setting up the layouts for the paper, it was clear she was good at this. She must have been looking at real newspapers for guidance.

"Man it's late. I need to call my mom." Loomer walked out of the room with his phone.

Agreeing, Suzie took her phone out of her pocket. "Yeah, my family is going to kill me."

I didn't know if I should be happy or concerned about my family's apathy toward me staying late several nights in a row. I was sitting at the desk where I was working earlier with my hand on my forehead. I was exhausted. This week has been crazy.

I was waiting for Suzie and Loomer to get off of their phones. I picked up the Guide from where it was sitting on my table and walked it back to my backpack. A few sticky notes and what looked like a piece of paper fell out when I lifted the Guide up this time.

I mumbled some… appropriate words and bent over to pick up the notes and pages. I grabbed the notes off of the floor and reached for the piece of paper. When my hands managed to pick it up off of the floor I realized it wasn't a piece of paper.

It was a picture.

Moze, Cookie, and I were standing in a row. Cookie was holding a trophy. It looked like it was taken after Cookie won the seventh-grade spelling bee. We looked excited. When was the last time we were all three together like this? Or even in the same room?

A feeling I didn't quite understand came over me looking at the picture.

"Okay, are you ready to start printing and get this over w-" I don't know what Suzie saw that made her stop talking. I hoped it wasn't me and the picture.

Suzie walked in from the hallway. She must have finished her phone call with her family. Loomer walked in after her.

I shoved the photo of Moze, Cookie, and Me back into my bag with the rest of the Guide. Suzie kept walking to her workstation. Loomer stood around like he didn't know what to do. If any of them saw the picture they weren't letting it show.

I'm sure I was.

"Loomer you can probably head home now." I offered him. "You've helped out enough already." Kind of.

"Really?! You guys are okay here?" He looked over to Suzie. It was clear who he was more concerned about.

Suzie shrugged in response.

"Yeah just meet in this room early tomorrow. We are going to have to carry what issues we print to newsstands or whatever throughout the school." I wasn't sure but I think that's what the short wire racks throughout the school were for. If they weren't for the newspapers then… they would be tomorrow.

"Awesome! See ya!" Loomer was less artful with his exit. He must have been tired.

I turned to Suzie. She was almost staring into space. I didn't want to ask her what she was thinking about.

"You ready to print these things?" I asked.

She looked. She seemed to snap out of whatever trance she was in. "Ned. I'm sorry for what I said before. About Mosel-"

"Suzie it's okay. You were right. I was stupid. Not just with her but you too."

She stood up. "Yeah, but it was none of my business." She was staring at me but it was almost like she was staring through me. Like she was in another trance again.

"It doesn't matter. You were still right. Suzie, can we talk about this later? Let's start printing so we can get out of here."

This seemed to bust her out of whatever trance she was in again."Yeah!" She started looking up at the chalkboard where we had planned this whole thing. "Is there anything you wanted to change before we printed this issue of the Taft Times?" She waved her hand in an exaggerated way like she was on a game show.

"God what a terrible name."

"Yeah… it's kind of boring. But, like, it's not like we can change that part."

I hesitated for a moment. "Why not? We've already changed the format so much anyway?"

It was true. We hadn't followed Mr. Rogue's instructions to the letter. Not that he'd given us super helpful instructions in the first place.

"Um. I guess you're right…" Suzie wasn't fighting back like she normally did. Maybe she was tired too.

"I mean we have to. The name sucks."

"What would even change the name to though?" She started rubbing her temple. "Do you have any ideas?"

X X X

Ned's (Declassified) School Survival Guide

*Your results may vary

In a high school full of bullies, insane teachers, and gross school lunches, Ned Bigby (that's me) and my two best friends try to do the impossible: create a guide that will help YOU survive school!

Tip #505.02AB

Watch and learn from the upperclassmen!

In a class with older students? Having trouble navigating the hallways? Make sure to watch what upperclassmen are doing! They can be a good guide to what you should be doing in your class. Or maybe even what you shouldn't be doing!

Tip #515.03ABC

Go to the Bathroom BEFORE leaving for a field trip.

Field trips in high school usually take you to a 'place of work' for adults. There is a bathroom usually nearby but it can be hard to find! The best bet is to just go before leaving!

Tip #528.04T

Make sure to pay attention on field trips!

Many of you went on the first field trip of the year! Make sure to pay attention during the trip! These trips come with a written assignment or worse! Don't get caught off guard!

Tip #578.05a

Look before you sit!

The chairs in high school have been around for a while! Make sure you aren't going to plop down on a busted chair or sit in chewing gum! Always be on alert for gross chairs!

Tip #566.06y

Always look for the school newspaper!

The school newspaper is created by students like YOU! It can be a good source for tips, school happenings, and funny pictures!

Tip #501.01A

Don't stress out about friends!

High school is different from middle school! As your friends get older, don't worry when they make new friends and try out new things! Your friendship will always be special to your true friends!

Taft High School Student Trapped in Sewage Plant Bathroom

By Suzie Crabgrass

A Taft High School student delayed the end of his science class field trip by getting trapped in a bathroom Wednesday morning.

Sophomore Ned Bigby was trapped after the door of the sewage plant bathroom stopped working.

Bigby has a tip in this issue of the Guide about this very topic. He told the Guide he should have listened to his own advice.

"I have a tip in the guide about this and everything. It's just really embarrassing." Bigby said.

The science teacher in charge of the field trip told the Guide it was one of the stranger incidents in her class.

"It just really seems strange. The young man ran to the main office of the sewage plant as we were leaving to return to the school. When he returned he had a classmate with him. He tells me the classmate saved him." Science Teacher Mrs. Edison said.

The Guide has discovered Bigby has been trapped in bathrooms multiple times in recent years, including several incidents in the female restroom.

Bigby says he will be following tips from his School Survival Guide to the letter going forward.

Taft High School Birthdays!

Remember to send the Guide birthdays you want celebrated!

Just like Simon Cook did!

Simon wishes his girlfriend Lisa Zemo a very happy birthday!

Capturing Coconut Head!

Sponsored by Conrad's Camping Supplies

If you see Coconut Head anywhere at school, get a quick picture with him! YOU could be featured in the next issues of the Survival Guide! Just like these students pictured below:

X X X

Moze sent me a text message last night.

It was late and I was already asleep. So I didn't notice my phone vibrate. When I woke up it was already too late.

Her message last night said 'what were you doing tonight?'

Frantic, I sent back a 'sorry I missed your message! I was working on the school newspaper! Long story! Why?'

I was having that butterflies in your stomach thing all morning. Every second without a reply from Moze seemed like torture. I kept reading over the message I had sent back to her.

Moze didn't reply until I was already at school. When she finally did, the message only had one word.

'Nevermind.'

X X X

I thought I was exhausted last night.

This morning was worse though. The number of nights without much sleep had snowballed to the point where I felt like a zombie staggering through the halls. At least I didn't have the chair in my backpack anymore.

The obliterated chair was still up in the newspaper room. Where I was heading.

Suzie and I didn't finish printing the newspapers until way later than we should have been at school. We didn't see any night janitor or anything like that when we left. Someone had to have been around though because the lights were on as we walked out.

I passed by Loomer's locker. Bully McFootballmen was hanging around with his posse of idiots. Loomer was nowhere to be found though. He probably was already at the newspaper club room. I guess this would be one benefit to Mr. Rogue's newspaper life sentence. Loomer would have somewhere else to be.

No more McFootballmen shenanigans.

I walked up the stairs. Was I ready for today? Last night, after watching Moze play, I thought I had come to some divine conclusion about how I was acting. In the light of morning, it was easy to get nervous again.

To get cold feet about what I was about to put out there. In newspaper form.

"Ned!"

I wasn't sure I was ready for more Suzie Crabgrass either.

I turned around and looked a few steps down the stairs. "Morning Suzie."

She asked me the question I was already asking myself. "Are you ready for today?" Her eyes were concerned behind her glasses.

No. "Sure. Why not?"

We continued walking up the stairs together.

"You don't think Mosely…?"

"I don't think Moze what?"

"You know…" Suzie wouldn't look at me. "Nevermind."

Just as confusing as the other time I heard that today. Read it. Whatever.

"Everything should be fine! Even if the paper sucks! If there's one thing my fellow teenagers are, it's polite!"

Suzie laughed at my joke a bit. We were on the second floor now. She looked in the direction of Mr. Rogue's classroom. "Do you think Rogue will be satisfied?"

That was the question. He told us to start the newspaper club up again and get an issue out every week. We had at least one 'news' story in there. We had a few pages. We got it done by today. What more could he want?

"I hope so…" It was hard to sound confident.

We came upon the newspaper club door and Loomer was sitting on the ground against it. He was nodding off to sleep while everyone around him, on the way to their classes, stepped over him like he wasn't there.

"Loomer! Wake up, buddy!"

"ShutupBigby!" Loomer startled himself awake.

"Billy don't sleep on the floor. It makes our club look bad."

Our club?

I couldn't figure out why I didn't hate what she said.

"You can't tell me what to do anymore Suzie," Loomer said.

Suzie crossed her arms. "Yes, I can. Stand up."

"No, you can't!" Loomer replied, standing up.

I unlocked the door to the clubroom and let all three of us in. I saw the stacks of papers we printed last night against the far wall near the printers. It was time to bring them to the stands in hallways, the cafeteria, classrooms, everywhere.

I took a deep breath. Suzie looked at me.

"Hey guys!"

"Need help Coconut Head said this morning you guys would need help but I said you guys would probably have it handled but we still came anyway-"

"Good morning! Yes, we do need help!" I interrupted Martin and grabbed a stack of the newspapers and handed it to him. Loomer picked up another stack and handed it to Coconut Head.

Coconut Head looked down at the front page at the top of the stack he was holding.

"Ned are you sure-"

"Yeah, it's fine. Now go put a few issues in most of the short wire racks across the school. They've been empty until now but once you see them you'll know what they are for." I instructed them. They both nodded their heads and walked out of the room.

I grabbed a stack of my own. Loomer followed my lead. Suzie had sat down at her workstation at the old computer she had claimed the other day.

"Well, Ned. The Guide is, like, out in the world now." Suzie said looking at my face. Her head was leaning in like she was trying to figure out what I was thinking.

Well, she could get in line. I also had no idea what to think about the situation yet. I just hoped we weren't going to fail English class. "Yeah. I guess."

Loomer and I started walking out with what was left of the Guide issues we printed last night.

"Good luck guys," Suzie called from inside the newspaper room.

She was right. The Guide was 'out in the world' now. I wondered how the high school would react to it this time.

X X X

So I guess students do read the school newspaper.

I didn't notice anything different about the students until it was time to head to lunch. Students in the halls had the issue we made in their hands and were laughing with each other. Probably about me.

Then when I got close to the cafeteria I heard the whispers.

"I heard he used to do this in middle school too."

"More than one bathroom? Seriously?"

"Is that why he had a broken chair?"

"That's so funny."

I didn't feel like eating today either. I decided to head up to the newspaper club room and spend lunch there again.

As I turned around to head to the stairs to the second floor, I saw Cookie walking towards the cafeteria.

Once he saw me, he ran in my direction. "Ned! I saw your birthday shout-out! Lisa's going to love that!" He was smiling.

At least the Guide had one fan.

"No problem. It was my fault she was mad about your present situation anyway."

His face had a flicker of seriousness for a second. "But Ned. We are going to need to talk about-" He looked up past my head. "Oops! I was supposed to save Lisa a seat! Talk to ya soon Ned!"

He ran off into the cafeteria.

I thought of the picture of him, Moze, and me in my backpack. Had I fixed anything at all? I was trying. Friendships are more complicated than I would like.

The stairs up to the newspaper club room were harder to get up each time today.

When I got to the room Suzie and Loomer were already there. The 'Taft Times' sign facing the hallway outside had been covered. Mr. Rogue had cleaned it off the other day but now it was covered by the paper saying something different.

The sign now read 'Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide.' I guess Suzie wants our branding to be consistent.

Inside the room, Suzie was eating while reading one of the newspaper club instruction manuals. Loomer was toying with a camera.

I walked around broken chair parts and stolen tools to the seat I've been using. I looked at the chalkboard with my plan from last night. Was I stupid? I had spent this much time in high school trying to hide the Guide and what I used to be. Should I have kept doing that? Is that what Moze would have done?

What a dumb question. Moze would've done whatever she wanted to. Like last night. She was being herself. I should be too.

Hell, everyone around had the courage to be themselves except me. Loomer kept his favorite jacket. Coconut Head kept his awful haircut. Martin won't stop talking. Suzie continues to get involved and do what she thinks is right, even when it puts her in a bad situation with her English class.

If relationships in high school are temporary and 'disposable' like I thought, why did I care what anyone else thought?

"What's wrong Ned?"

I guess I am standing here staring at our School Survival Guide plans on the chalkboard like a weirdo. "Nothing. Just tired Suzie."

I sat down on the floor near the pieces of the chair. The chair I broke before I talked to Moze. I grabbed some stolen tools and poked around trying to fix pieces of it. There was some nice silence in the room for a moment.

"Hey, kiddos!"

Well, it was nice while it lasted.

"Look at you guys! The little club that could! I thought you guys were failing the class this week for sure!" Mr. Rogue was here to heckle.

"So we did pass?" Suzie was asking the right questions as usual.

"Well, you didn't exactly do what I had in mind when I told you to start the newspaper club again buttttt….."

Loomer was hanging on every word. "But what?"

"This is the most writing I've seen out of Bigby since last year. So you three pass. For this week anyway."

There was a collective feeling of relief that washed through the room.

"Thank god." Suzie leaned back in her chair.

"You three better make sure you start on next week's paper earlier! Well… I'm going back to the teacher's lounge. By the way. You three need to go down to the cafeteria and make sure they have papers there. Lunchtime is great for circulation!"

"But Cocon-"

"Now Bigby!" He cut me off as we walked out of the room. This must have been one of the things he was weird about.

I looked around at Suzie and Loomer. They were still coasting off of the relief of passing this week

"I'm sure Coconut Head already took papers down there."

"We better just go, Ned. We don't want to, like, put our passing grade in jeopardy." Suzie was quick to add.

"Fine…" I stood up from my broken chair mess. Loomer put the camera he was toying around with down and joined me.

Suzie got up and led us out of the room. "We don't have to be down there long. I just don't want Mr. Rogue to be down there waiting for us or something crazy."

Great. A whole cafeteria of people reading our embarrassing paper.

X X X

We ran into Coconut Head and Martin Qwerly walking down to the cafeteria.

Coconut Head was sure he brought papers to the cafeteria but Suzie insisted we double-check. So we walked into the lunchroom.

Our newspaper, our 'Guide,' seemed to be popular reading among the student body. Every table had at least one copy of the School Survival Guide. Some had multiple copies. Maybe we shouldn't have printed so many.

Once we walked into the cafeteria, Suzie, Loomer, and I stood near the entrance. We looked around taking all of it in. Students were reading what we wrote.

I looked over at Moze's table. The table with the wealthy, attractive, sporty people. They had multiple copies. They were looking at the Guide and laughing. They saw me and pointed in my direction. Missy and Seth were both laughing with Jock Goldman.

Moze had her head down reading a copy of the Guide on the table. I couldn't tell what she was thinking. I couldn't tell if I was about to see the 'embarrassed of Ned' face or not. Her head moved a bit like she was about to look up. In my direction.

I looked away.

I wasn't ready yet.

Looking the other direction, my eye caught the table of freshmen where Alex the Freshman was sitting. They had multiple copies of the Guide as well.

They weren't laughing.

The copies were on the table and the freshmen were talking to each other. Like they were comparing notes or something.

Just a few days ago the freshmen table looked awkward. Like they didn't know each other. Alex was pointing to the copies of the guide and talking with the other freshmen like it was natural. Before I knew it, I felt the first genuine smile I've had in months spread across my face.

Standing there with Suzie and Loomer, I wasn't as embarrassed as I thought I would be.